I nodded and went into my room, but not before Jane broke into Alec's room and I saw a sobbing Alec on his bed. I quickly turned away and shut my door, feeling a pang at my heart. I caused that to happen. Me and my big mouth.

Then I realized what Jane had said.

See you at feeding times.

I just agreed to drink from humans. Great. Not like I would have been given a choice, anyway, right?

At about seven at night, Felix knocked on my door.

"We are going to eat now," he said as soon as I opened my door.

"Oh," I mumbled. "Lead the way."

"You seriously are going to go through with this?" Felix chuckled. "I don't take you as the 'eat from humans' type."

"I didn't think I'd get a choice, but I'd like to try it."

"Of course you'd have a choice," Felix chuckled. "Come on."

He ran off and I followed his scent to the throne room. "And this is the throne room of St. Marcus himself!" I heard Heidi's voice announce as the doors opened. I heard heartbeats. I didn't care how many. They were just there.

"Welcome, everyone, to Volterra!" Aro cried like he was on crack.

Everyone lept forward and I followed suit, grabbing a boy with blond hair and blue eyes. He looked close enough to Mike Newton that I'd live if I killed him. I sunk my teeth into his neck and nearly moaned as the blood pooled into my mouth. It tasted delicious! I drank it deeply and quickly. As soon as he ran dry, I let him go and dropped him to the floor. I looked up and Alec was staring at the body by my feet. Felix smirked and came over to me.

"How'd you like him?"

"He was. . . good," I smiled a little. I just killed an innocent human. I felt my eyes widen as I realized what I just did.

"Hey, you okay?" Felix asked.

I ignored him and pulled out the guys wallet that I just killed. I flipped it open and saw a picture of him with a brunette girl and a little baby. "Oh my god," I whispered, horrified.

"Hey, it's alright," Felix said, stepping towards me.

I shook my head, "No, it's not. What do we do with. . . him?"

"Throw him in the streets in a nearby town. That's what the lower guards are for, though. Don't worry about it."

I nodded, "I'm allowed to leave, right?"

He chuckled, but nodded. I ran from the room quickly, shut my door, and sank on my bed.

I just killed someone. I wanted to kill him and the worst part. . . I wanted to kill again. This wasn't me.

"This isn't me," I whispered.

"No one's like themselves in their first few years," A voice said from the door. My head snapped up and I locked eyes with none other than Alec Volturi. "Sorry I ran out from you earlier."

I shook my head, "It was my fault."

"No, it wasn't. I should have gotten over Josier a long time ago."

"You loved her. You didn't have to do anything to get over her," I told him honestly. "When you love someone, you are afraid to let go."

He didn't answer, and I just got up and walked to my closet, staring at my blood caked shirt. I grabbed my black, strapless churchy dress out of my closet before going into the bathroom connected to my room.

"If you leave, could you be a doll and shut the door?" I asked Alec. "I've always wanted to say that."

I heard Alec's musical chuckle before the sound of my door shutting. I rolled my eyes as I took a quick shower to wash the blood off my skin. I dried myself off quickly before slipping the black dress on.

"What to do, what to do," I mused quietly. It made me feel slightly better, that everyone loathed themselves after they killed someone for the first time. It made me feel a lot better. I still didn't want him to die, but I just couldn't stop. I had to have him.

"The library!" I whispered, as if I discovered something amazing. I remember hearing about it.

I walked down the hall, searching for it. I stayed clear of doors that looked like all the bedroom doors. When I came to a dead end, I groaned in frustration.

"Great," I muttered.

"Need some help?" A familiar voice asked.

I whirled around, my hand over my heart. "God, you'll give me a heart attack."

"What are you looking for?" Alec asked.

"The library? I don't know if its off limits or not, but if it isn't-"

"Follow me," he smiled, turning on his heel and taking off. I stood there for a second and then regained my composure, following after him.

His scent stopped at a set of silver doors, with the words Library engraved upon them.

"Ah," I smirked. "This makes sense!"

I opened the door to see Alec standing there, a small smile on his face.

"Welcome to the Volturi library."

I smiled as I looked around. It was so bright and clean! The setting sun shone through the windows that lined the back wall. There were white couches that circled the middle of the room. Books lined the walls all the way to the ceiling. Amazing.

"Holy fucking shit," I breathed.

"It's intense, I know," Alec smirked.

"How the hell-"

"Sulplicia and Athenadora are obsessed with creating new rooms. This was added about 1823."

"It's incredible!"

"I'm glad you like it, dear. You must be Bella. Aro's talked so fondly of you," A feminine voice said from behind me.

I turned around, noticing that I was meeting a lot of people today. "Hello. Yes, I'm Bella. And you two are?"

I looked at the black haired beauty and blonde model.

"Oh, of course!" The blonde girl cried. "My name's Sulplicia. I'm Caius's sister and Aro's mate. This is Athenadora, Aro's sister, and Caius's mate."

"Pleasure," I smiled, curtsying slightly.

"Likewise," Athenadora smiled. "We'll leave you two be. Just wanted to meet the one that's been the top gossip of the castle."

I smiled, nodding, as they left. I spun around to see Alec looking through the shelves.

"What do you like?" he asked me.

"Classics," I told him. "Some unique modern ones thrown in."

He nodded and pulled out a book. "You'll live this."

I read the title. Another Faust. "Interesting."

He smirked, "It's great, really. Never read anything like it."

"Thanks," I said, flipping through it.

He nodded and walked towards the doors. "See you in trainings tomorrow."

I nodded, looking up, but he was already gone. What is with him? Here one minute, gone the next?

I don't know, but whatever it was, I liked it.

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