Glee: Need You Now

With the back nine approaching, I decided to write my stories for things I'd like to see happen. I have no rights to Glee, or the Gleekers. I just do this for fun.

Chapter 1

If only. That was all Rachel Berry could think. If only. It had been a few weeks since they'd won sectionals, and everyone was so excited to get ready for the next step...REGIONALS. But everything was not the same. Finn hadn't been the same. Finn Hudson, star athlete, star of the Glee club, and star of Rachels heart, had been distant, cold. Rachel had to be the one to break it to Finn that his then girlfriend Quinn Fabray, who was pregnant, was not actually pregnant with his child, but his best friends child. Finn had flipped, and almost didn't come to sectionals, but he came. And only after Rachel had given a superb performance of "Don't Rain on My Parade," they all brought it home and won.

Rachel loved Finn. It was really no shock. What was a shock though, was her new found friendship with Quinn. It wasn't like they were besties or anything. Rachel didn't expect Quinn to call her to go to the mall or anything, but they had been getting along lately. But if only. Rachel wanted it all to go back. Now she was sitting in her bedroom, awaiting the time that Finn would notice her again. But Rachel wasn't sure that was ever going to happen. She stood and walked to her window, staring out of the window into the dark sky. She grabbed a tie, and put her hair into a ponytail and just stared. She began to sing to herself, as she did every night lately.

I didn't hear you leave. I wonder how am I still here.

I don't want to move a thing, It might change my memory.

Oh, I am what I am. I'll do what I want. But I can't hide.

I won't go. I won't sleep. I can't breathe until you're resting here with me.

Dido had become her singing obsession lately. Maybe it was the depressive quality to it. Maybe it was the fact that it was soothing. But It seemed to express Rachel really well these days. She couldn't really lie about it. When she told Finn about Quinn and Puck, she was hoping that Finn would rush into her arms. He didn't, and she understood it, logically. He needed time to process. Rachel just knew though, that she couldn't keep pining forever. It wasn't healthy. She watched him fade after sectionals, and become sort of a shadow of himself. She wanted to help him, but maybe she couldn't do anything. But her heart told her different. She realized she had stopped singing, to go into introspective thought.

Rachel climbed into bed and turned out the light. She laid there in bed, and her mind began to race. Usually, her nightly routine was a good sing to something Celine or Barbara, then she'd curl up in bed and try to imagine her Behind the Music in her head. It was usually a good one. A nice jewish girl, raised in a home with a normal family, both dads employed and giving her the support she needed, followed by her trip to college, where she graduated with a degree in music, only to land a record deal. The first album would win her praise, and she would continue to release hit after hit, album after album, with a detour on Broadway. She dreamed of joining the diva elite ranks: Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion, Melissa Etheridge, Dolly Parton, Madonna, Cher. The one thing that would keep her grounded, was her husband Finn Hudson, someone who loved her from the beginning. That's what she used to see before she went to sleep. Now, it was reliving the moment she told Finn, and watching him freak out. She rolled over, and prayed that she could find some peace.

***

Finn Hudson laid in bed, waiting to fall asleep. But like every night since sectionals, he just laid there. It wasn't fair! Quinn and Puck did the bad things, yet why was his conscious paying for it? Why was it him to feel bad? He didn't understand these feelings inside of him. He felt lost, not in control. But he's a man, so he couldn't really talk about these feelings. So what was left? No one but Finn, and he's never been one to self analyze.

Quinn had really stabbed him. In the gut. That's exactly it. He had been walking around, day in day out, with a butcher knife in the stomach, with blood gushing everywhere. People could see his guts as he walked around, class to class, with people seeing his guts. He tried to use this comparison when talking about it to his mom once. She didn't like it. Maybe it's a guy thing.

He couldn't help thinking about Rachel. What was she doing? What was she wearing? What was she thinking? Finn always had a thing for Rachel, but he was with Quinn. Now? He felt like a squashed little bug. But being around Rachel always made him feel like there were two of him. One of him just wanted to smile all the time with her. She made him feel like he was walking on air, which was confusing because you'd think if someone was walking on air, they would fall over more, since there was nothing to steady you. Finn knew about falling down, so imagine what would have happen if...maybe this is what everyone meant when they said he lost his train of thought easily. Where was he? Oh...Rachel.

That one him felt so good. But there's that other Finn, the one that was around whether Rachel was around or not. He was darker, gloomier, quieter. He didn't really want to talk to anyone. He felt defeated. He didn't like that feeling. But Rachel brought out the happier Finn. How is he supposed to figure out what he wants, when he can't decide what he feels? It was so confusing...Quinn, Rachel, neither...what does he want? He laid there, and the same song kept popping into his head.

I won't leave. I can't hide. I cannot be until you're resting here with me.

He rolled over and and waited until an answer came to him, but sleep finally got him before he could figure anything out.

***

The sun shone in and lit up the school hallway, as Rachel opened her locker. She opened her backpack and began unloading books. All she wanted was to see Finn, but when he sees her, he seems to shrink away. "Berry." She turned to see Quinn standing there, staring at her intensely. "Fabray." She said back. They seemed to be having a stare down, before Quinn starting giggling. "What's up?" Quinn asked. "Nothing much." Rachel responded. As she answered, Rachel looked over Quinn, to Quinn's left, to her right...no sign of Finn.

"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked, still scanning for Finn. Rachel always asked how Quinn was doing, because over time Rachel realized she cared about Quinn's babys welfare. "Fine. I'm just ready for this to be over." Quinn said. "Oh, well it will be soon." Rachel said. She closed her locker and realized her school day didn't start for another ten minutes. "Have you thought about songs you might want to do solo in Glee?" Quinn asked. Mr. Schu had asked them to think of songs that they felt defined their style, their voice. He had wanted them to work on their solo efforts. "I can't think of anything." Quinn said. "Well, with your voice Quinn, I would go classic, standards. Not that I don't think you have a pop voice, but I know my vocal standards pretty well and I have practiced, for many years to make myself more versatile in my sound. You sound really good doing more classic, softer songs." Rachel pointed out. It was usually a moment like that that would make someone mad at her. Quinn seemed to take it in stride though. "Really?" She asked. "Yeah. You're voice is suited for those classic songs, or more contemporary songs that have a softer tone." "I was thinking 'Angel' for my baby, by Sarah McLachan." Quinn said. Rachel turned around to scan behind her...still nothing. "You would sound beautiful doing that." Rachel said.

The bell rang to warn the students they had five minutes to get to class. "We better go." Rachel said. Quinn just reached out and grabbed Rachels arm and said, "Give him time." Rachel just stopped and looked at Quinn and realized she meant Finn. Rachel nodded and the two turned to walk to class. Rachel wanted to see him so bad, but she understood Quinn's advice. The problem is, how much longer could she wait?

***

Finn had turned down the hallway to walk to his first class, but froze when he saw Rachel at her locker. She was so beautiful, and he couldn't help but smile. But then, she walked up to Rachel. Quinn was still beautiful, with a bit of a baby bump starting to show. Quinn was his love, and he felt the knife in his stomach again. He had to turn around and head the other direction. He couldn't face either of them. He turned a corner and started to head in another direction. He was walking at a brisk pace, when he heard, "Mr. Hudson." He turned to see Mercedes Jones, another member of Glee standing at her locker. "Where are you off to so fast?" "Biology. Mr. Keller hates it when I'm late." "I just want you to know, that I'm sorry about all that's happened." Mercedes said. He appreciated the thought. "Thanks." He said, and he turned to walk away, but Mercedes grabbed his shoulder. "Wait a minute." Finn turned to look at Mercedes. "I understand that after what happened with Quinn, that you need time. But we need you back."

Finn wasn't prepared for that. He stood there stunned. "Back?" He asked. "You've been different since sectionals, and-" "I know." Finn interrupted. "For the good of Glee, you need me back, right?" "No." Mercedes answered. "We need to back because you're our friend. Whatever happened with Quinn, with Puck, or even with Rachel, the rest of us, Artie, Tina, Me, everyone else, miss their friend." He just looked at her. "I-I gotta..." He couldn't think of a response. He looked at her and just said, "I gotta go." He walked away from Mercedes and walked as fast as he could to his class.

Finn powered away, and his thoughts were racing. Rachel. Quinn. Mercedes. Glee. Basketball. Football. Knife in stomach. These thoughts kept repeating over, and over, and over. It was too much. He needed it to be easier. He felt himself sink, and for the rest of the day, darker, shadow Finn seemed to take over.

***

It was the end of the school day, and Rachel was frustrated. She saw Finn once, and he just looked at her, and walked in the other direction. She didn't understand what she was doing wrong. She had smiled, she had waved, she had tried to be friendly. Yet, he still turned and walked in the other direction. It was beginning to get to be too much. This obsession was not healthy for her, and that's who she had to worry about...herself.

But she couldn't stop worrying about Finn. She sat at the piano, in the auditorium and just sighed. She began to play a few notes, and she started to sing.

If tomorrow never comes, I would do it all again.

She had had Jennifer Love Hewitts song "You" in her head for days.

If the light never breaks through, I would stay until the end.

If I saved it all for you, I would have my faith again.

Then, then I would know it's you.

That's all she'd ever really wanted, a clue. She had put all of her faith into a man, who had a pregnant girlfriend, who had trouble facing up to himself. Rachel stood up, and grabbed her bag from underneath the piano and walked out, praying that somewhere out there was her man waiting for her, or the strength to say goodbye.