Clean Up at the Walmart

"Awww… It's so cute!" Seras pulled out a small stuffed tiger from the store shelves while they walked through the WalMart.

Alucard batted it out of her hand. "I hate cute!"

Seras whined, "Waaahhh…you hate me!"

"Who said you were cute?"

Clean up on aisle 9…

"This card?"

"No."

"This card?"

"No."

"This card?"

"No."

Seras sighed, it was impossible shopping for Integra's birthday with Alucard around.

"This one?"

"No."

"Why?! What's wrong with them??"

"Anything that says Hallmark sucks!"

"I like them." Seras snapped.

"Then you suck."

Clean up in the card aisle…

"Oh, McDonalds, I haven't had any since…forever!"

"Seras, no!" Alucard tackled her.

"What?!"

"That stuff will kill you faster then Anderson!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Alucard shot the giant 'M' and ran off with Seras being dragged behind him.

Clean up at the McDonalds…

Seras held up the large hunting gun. "But I want it!" She growled.

"I said no."

"Please!"

"No."

"Please!!"

"NO."

"I hate you!"

"Don't make me shoot you young lady!"

"I waaaaant it!"

Clean up in the hunting department…

As Alucard pushed the cart with Seras inside, waiting for it to be over, he hit another cart by accident. He looked up.

It was Anderson.

Clean up on aisles 4, 5, and 6…

Seras was trying on a line of clothes she had picked out.

"This one is cute, like it?"

Alucard flipped a magazine page without looking up, "No."

"How about this?" Seras frowned as she came out in another outfit.

"No…Oh that Brittany again…"

"How about THIS?"

"Nope." He turned the magazine on its side for a moment.

"MASTER, HOW ABOUT THIS ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?!"

"Makes the butt look big…"

Clean up the clothing department…

"I'm going to look at the latest in popular fiction, one moment Alucard…" Seras ran off towards were the books were. Then Seras looked around, "You might not want to come in here, master…best you stay there…"

"What is it?" Alucard snapped and pushed past her.

"I warned him…"

"TWILIGHT AGAIN!?!"

Clean up in the book aisle…

Seras grabbed one the noise blowers from the party aisle and blew on it, then she giggled.

"Put that away." Alucard growled.

Seras blew it over his shoulder.

"I mean it, police girl…"

She blew it over his other shoulder, laughing hysterically.

"Seras Victoria…"

She stopped and stood next to him, then she took a long breath, and blew it in his ear.

Clean up in the damn party aisle… someone get them out of here!

"Well that was fun!" Seras said as she sat up, rubbing her bottom as she stood up.

Alucard glared as the shopping cart was shoved out into the parking lot. "And stay out!"

"At least we have the things we need." Seras said, trying to cheer him a bit.

A car came through the parking lot and their cart disappeared before their eyes with a loud crunch.

"Sir," Walter came up to Integra's desk.

"What is it, Walter?"

"Well…" He handed her a wireless phone line, "Alucard was at the WalMart…and there are some expenses and…lawsuits, we have to deal with."

"Alucard!"

Something my brothers and I thought up late at night. The longest stream of stupidity I'm sure I will regret in the morning…