Disclaimer: I am not awesome. I do not own Fox, 24, or any characters of this show. (Though I'm working on hiring Bauer as my security guard. I'll get back to you on that one.)

Chapter Two! Yay! My comments on this episode and the preview for the next are at the bottom, as well as the notes on writing this chapter. Please Read and Review, as always. Tell me if it gets too mushy. I'll try to fix it for next chappie. (Turns off the peach harvester.)

WARNING!!!!!!!!!! -- references to sex, and not very graphic. (I hope.) Should be okay if your parents have given you the "talk", or you looked it up online, or if you've been watching "special" videos (in reference to specialty, I hope not).

ANOTHER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!

A main character DIES in this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack hurriedly ignored the medical technician's warnings. So much like him. But what really got to me what I saw a moment before: a dark red blossom on his side, a wound I inflicted just hours before. It was madness, those few moments. Part of what makes a nuclear weapon so devastating is that it doesn't break the shell immediately. Instead, it has a tiny explosion inside before it bursts out, causing something more destructive than before. I didn't like the analogy, and it was completely inappropriate considering the circumstances: nuclear materials in Manhattan. Another way to describe it is a highly pressurized steam in a pipe. The more angry and filled it gets, the more likely it will be to burst, spewing hot water and burning everything, everyone, around it. That was me, anger. It started when the woman died on the street of D.C. Then, it built more as Larry died and Jack was carried away on a gurney. I vented all of it on Alan Wilson, but the aftermath only steeped more rage. I took it out on myself next, an easier and more willing target. And the night before, it all exploded, and Jack was hurt in the process.

It's hard to live with yourself when it seems everywhere you turn you cause pain. I crossed my arms, turned and walked towards the water. No one took notice of me, and I was free to lean against a railing and gaze at the lights on the other side. They, the New Yorkers, were blissfully unaware. I wished I could be like them, peacefully resting in an apartment, maybe getting ready for work. But no, I was tired, scarred, and just waiting for this calm lull to end and for the next tide to rise above my head.

I heard Jack's footsteps and his muttering into a cell phone. I looked in his direction. He met my gaze and I walked over. I couldn't tell who he was talking to and what about, but I could see the somber look to his face. He watched me, blue-gray eyes not flinching away. So many people didn't want to meet my eyes. Even people I knew before, Janis, others at FBI, refused to be seen with me. I was the monster next door. But he didn't treat me that way.

"I understand ma'am. I'll leave for the U.N. immediately."

A pause, then he said, "Yes, ma'am."

He was talking to the President. I was sure of it now.

He hung up the phone. "She wants me to supervise Hassan's evac to McGuire Air Force Base."

I shrugged. "Alright, let's go."

"Renee," he started. I had a feeling he wouldn't want me around. Last time I had tried to help, I had screwed things over pretty badly. I could understand. But just minutes ago, I thought he was dying. If I hadn't been there-- I told myself I wasn't going to think about that. I wasn't going to let him go adventuring off by himself. Not again. I had already started walking towards the car, but I turned back and glared at him.

"Renee, I need to do this on my own."

Oh sure, 'course you're not, I thought. I guessed this was a roundabout way of saying I wasn't fit to fight. But I was here, and I would fight the whole way through. Well, two could play that game.

"We're not going through this again. I'm coming with you." My roundabout way of saying I wasn't going to let him get himself in deep trouble like had happened the hour before.

"End of discussion," I added on the end. For good measure. I was the first to walk towards the vehicle. I glanced over my shoulder and see his thoughtful gaze resting on me. Then he followed. I slipped quietly into the passenger's side and stared resolutely ahead. I half-expected him to give me a piece of his mind. But he stepped into the car and drove out without so much as a word. I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing more easily now.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he finally asked.

It felt like he was tip-toeing around me like I would snap if he said anything too brash. I opened my eyes and replied, "Why don't you say, 'Renee, you're emotionally unsound. You're not ready for this'? It's obvious that's what you think."

He was silent for a few moments. "If that's the way you want to treat it. You need to take a break."

Renee asked, "What about you? Don't you want to go back to Los Angeles with Kim and your grandkid?"

"Of course I do. But I'm here, and if I leave--"

He cut off his sentence. We both knew the consequences if he decided not to help anymore. Besides the fact that the bomb might blow a hole in New York City, I would be tried for the murder of a Russian mobster. Didn't improve my opinion that all lawyers out to burn in hell.

"You've had a rough night, Renee."

I replied, "So have you. It's no different."

He shot a worried glance at me and said, "You know it's different."

I felt my mind drift back to that warehouse, that room. That maggot, Laitanan, inside me, shredding and tearing, causing unbearable pain. I hated him. And then the steam tank burst, the atomic bomb exploded. Red hail burst from his carcass, splattering the floor, the wall, my face, my murderous hands. I screamed, and I turned on the only person who stood beside me. I, an uncontrollable monster, tried to kill the man sitting next to me. I had washed the blood off my hands and face. But the worst part was stepping into Jack's shower, at his apartment, and cleaning the trail of blood down my legs.

Back in the car, tears brimmed in my eyes. I quickly fought them back, but not before Jack noticed. He said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

I stared ahead as the painful memories ate me alive. I croaked, "No. You shouldn't have."

We didn't want to make eye contact anymore. Jack said, "I can still drop you at the apartment. You can get the car and drive down to New Jersey, or into the Upstate. I can meet you afterwards."

This didn't make any glimmer of sense to me. I asked, "And what about you? What if CTU can't stop the attack?"

"Then that's that." His voice was flat-lined, unemotional.

I said, "I'm not going to let you die alone."

"Renee, I want you to be safe."

I replied angrily, "For what? I meant it when I said I have no one. I'm not a drama queen; I really did mean it. You were the one who said I could count on you. If you're dead, I have no one for me to count on. If you die--" I found it hard to find my breath. If you die, I thought, then I may as well be dead. I leaned back against the head rest of the car, trying to alleviate the pounding of my head. I shook these thoughts, specters of terrible fates, out of my head.

"I'm not going to let you die," I repeated, reassuring both Jack and myself.

Jack replied, "I never said anything about dying. I won't do anything stupid."

I remembered sitting in my office in D.C. that morning a year ago, reading through his file. I stated the words almost from memory, "Los Angeles. A year after Teri Bauer's death." I moved past the other things about that day: George Mason's radiation poisoning, Kim Bauer's disappearance. My voice, biting, said, "He attempted to fly the nuclear bomb into the desert, where he would land so as to save the city."

"I was at a dark point in my life," he said quickly.

I shook my head. "I'm not going to let it happen now. It was a stupid idea. A stupid, stupid, stupid idea." My tone was harsh, angry.

We pulled up to the entrance. I said, "Imagine how different everything would have been." I looked at him and met his eyes. They were understanding. At last. I sighed and tiredness suddenly overwhelmed me. I heard him get out of the car and come over on my side. He opened the door. I was about to pull myself out of the seat when I saw his hand, outstretched towards me. I grasped it, firmly, never wanting to let go. There was strength in his touch, and it filled me with new resolve. The world would fall apart, but we would stand. I would stand, despite all pushing me down.

I stepped out towards the building, letting go of his hand, but still feeling his warmth radiating on mine.

Jack can smell trouble. And we were in a ton of it. It was an ambush. I had Kayla and Hassan's wife with me. I felt terrible for Kayla, who was whimpering. From what I heard, she'd been through a lot. And in a strange way, I could relate to her. Both of us had been used and thrown away, like a toy in the hands of a wicked child. And now this. I didn't know how well I was holding up myself. I knew Jack hadn't been shot. Yet. First priority, I told myself, was to get the family to safety. Jack was of lesser importance, I knew, but it sounded so terrible in my mind that I pushed the thought away. But as I walked away, leaving him behind, I felt like I was going to be torn in two. I ran, pushing from my mind his face, the screams I heard behind me. It couldn't be him. It was impossible.

I had only one person who cared about me. Jack. Sure, Chloe wasn't hostile, but she wasn't the one who held my hands after I killed Laitanan. He was the one who looked my in the eyes and said he would be there for me. I felt horrible, because I was a murderer. Because I hadn't done my best before, to keep him from dying before my eyes. And even after he lived, he called me. I should have picked up the phone, but I rejected him. I thought he didn't care. I thought he was just another one of the well-wishers who weren't really helpful or caring. I thought he was another Janis. But now, I wondered how hurt he must have been. How much I hurt him. And yet, he promised to be the only friend I had. He promised to be with me.

He was the most important person in my life. More important than President Hassan and his family. And I was leaving him to die.

But he came back. And the armed men hadn't given up their search. We were running, but I saw their flashlights behind us. I still held my arm around Kayla and Mrs. Hassan. I was clenching the woman's shoulder more than I should have, my fingers turning white. Then Kayla tripped. She shrieked quietly, but it was obvious she had twisted her foot. I pulled her back up.

"We have to keep going," I said quietly.

"Renee, we're not going to make it."

I knelt down behind one of the plentiful barrels in the passageway and looked at Jack, who had taken cover the same way. He pulled out a weapon; I reached for mine.

We had a plan. I really didn't listen to the words, just internalized them. My body, my hands, knew what to do. My mind's only concern was providing the best covering fire I could give. What did latch into my memory was Jack's words to Hassan as he passed him a pistol.

"Take care of your family."

The sense of finality about his words chilled me. I positioned myself, my shaking self, and prepared to do what was necessary. To protect Hassan; to protect Jack. The smoke went up and I let loose. As they drew nearer, I heard rapid fire up ahead. Two shifting shadows fell. Two down. I continued to fire as the smoke dissapated. Jack had repositioned on the other side of the passageway, and another wall of smoke came up.

The scariest thing about the ordeal was not being able to see Jack. I knew he could good and well take care of himself, but the unknown...

He flanked them on the outside. I shot one down. Then, in a moment, the tide turned so dramatically. He got hit from behind, falling down. I wanted to scream, to send the bastard to his grave, to do anything other than just stand there. But I was immobile, stopped from the shock of it all. Jack was about to die, and I could do nothing except look on in horror.

A gunshot split my ears, but it came from behind. I saw the terrorist drop down. Turning, I saw Hassan, smoke curling out of the barrel of his pistol. Maybe it was a good things we were saving his life. I knew Jack was okay. Everything would be fine. I went back to them, the Hassans. I smiled at the President. "That was a fine shot." I still shook violently, negating my fake smile. I felt someone touch my hand, and saw Kayla, standing awkwardly on her twisted leg.

"You were very brave." I saw compassion in her eyes. Where I had been fearful and empty before, I felt filled with new hope. I felt renewed. I glanced at Jack, who was now leading one of the black-clothed men in our direction. I saw the firmness in his step, the determination in his eyes. I saw it in all of us here, from Jack to Hassan to Kayla.

I thought brave was the very last word that would be used to describe me.

Commentary on THIS EPISODE:

Rejected! I love Renee's really blatant and outright statement of "I'm not going to let you get your butt handed to you again." And "no more arguments" was a nice addition to the end.

I thought so much could have gone on behind the scenes in the car on the way to the UN. That was part of the inspiration to write from Renee's POV. Also, the sheer look of horror on her face when Jack was pushed to the ground was priceless.

AUGH! Why did the cool UN security lady have to DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE? I LOVED her!!!!!!! Anyone else a fan of this nameless person???!!!

...as for the PREVIEW:

WHAT THE HECK, PREZ HASSAN?! Jack just saved your life and you go and hit him in the back for repayment?! I think he's going to be in some deep problems in the special two-hour. ANYONE ELSE EXCITED FOR IT?

...and for the writing:

Script Frenzy just started! It's a competition to write 100 pages of script in 30 days of April. Pretty exciting, no? So I might be a little slower on updates. (By the end of Monday, I'll have two chappies of fiction to write! :O)

As for the comment on a character dying...........APRIL FOOLS!

Please read and review and sorry for my ranting comments. I'm very hyper right now.

Peace out! -ae