A/N:

So yeah... real life is an asshole. I'm incredibly sorry for the super long time-span between updates. You all know I usually don't take so long, but some things have been going on and I've just found it hard to get in the right frame of mind. Please forgive me? *pouts and gropes your butt*

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APOV

I squeeze my eyes shut as I slam my phone down and try like hell not to scream in frustration. I'm so sick of all of the manipulation and just... fakeness and bullshit!

Aro. Fucking Aro—the most infamous paparazzo, known for his extreme ass-kissing to get in the good graces of celebrities—had been good to me over the years. He was creepy with his overly sweet and obviously fake demeanor, but he'd never published a bad photograph of me and was never one to sell his pictures to cheap gossip rags. Aro and I'd had—emphasis on had—a good relationship over the past three years. He wouldn't bug me, wouldn't pester, wouldn't sell horrible pictures of me... and in turn, I would be a nice little girl and pose and look cute for him whenever we ran into each other. Aro never had to fight other photographers for the "shot" with me. I'd always given it to him. That's how we worked.

Imagine my surprise when, not twenty minutes ago, my phone rang, I'd had my new number for less than two weeks thanks to hackers constantly discovering, and distributing it, and I saw a blocked number on my caller id. And imagine my extreme bewilderment when Aro's voice was the one that greeted me. He kept up the syrupy-sweet façade, asking how I was after the whole Jasper debacle. It hadn't even happened more than two hours ago, but apparently a video and pictures were spreading like wildfire across the internet and celebrity gossip shows.

I was honest and told him I was feeling like crap. He laughed and joked a bit while I pretty much stayed silent on my end, wishing he'd shut up and tell me what he had to say. Just when I was about to open my mouth and tell him to shut it, he informed me that he'd followed Jasper home to try and get some good shots. I could have strangled Aro for being so callous, but I kept my mouth shut and let him continue with the story. When he was almost to Forks, Jasper pulled over but didn't get out. Aro said that after five minutes of no movement, he began to wonder what was going on.

At this point in the story, I began to worry. Jasper was having trouble breathing when he got out of the car. Was he okay? My heart began pounding in my chest and I just wanted Aro to tell me if my Jas was okay or not.

He said he walked up to the car and Jasper appeared to be asleep, so he knocked on the window. When Jasper didn't budge, Aro claimed to have been worried—yeah right—so he opened the door and heard faint gasps coming from Jas. Aro figured it was asthma, since his protégé had the ailment, so he was pretty familiar with it. Luckily, said protégé kept a portable breathing machine in Aro's glove compartment, so Aro acted quickly and revived Jasper.

I thanked Aro profusely, tears pricking my eyes when I thought about how close I was to never laying eyes on Jas again. But Aro was quick to get to the point, the reason for the sudden call. He'd taken pictures of Jasper while he was unconscious and hinted that he could easily conjure up a story of Jasper being an out-of-control drug and sex addict who was using me for my money. Of course, people would believe the lies since there was photographic proof.

Aro threatened that if I didn't cooperate, the pictures and story would be everywhere by tomorrow afternoon. I couldn't let him do that. Jasper deserved to be left alone, to be as far away as possible from this world. His association with me was already bad enough. If this story was leaked, he would be harassed day and night by interviewers, stalkers, fans... I would not let that happen. So I agreed to do whatever Aro wanted. As he listed off his demands, I felt bile rise in my throat at the casualness of his voice. Actually, "casual" wasn't the right word... giddy was more like it. The man was giddy and he was blackmailing me! No remorse in his tone, no hesitancy in his words. I was disgusted.

And now I'm pissed beyond words as I dial Bella's number to let her know about the deal. When I'm finished telling her, her voice explodes into my ear.

"WHAT? Please tell me you're joking, Ali! This is major! You have an image to uphold!"

I sigh heavily. "I know."

"This is horrible!" she continues.

"I know."

"Just let the bastard release the photos. This Jasper guy has nothing to lose. You do."

I take the phone from my ear and pause for a few seconds, looking at the device like it smelled like a bum's ball sack. When her words finally registered, I snapped.

"Bella, shut up. Shut up before I do or say something I'll regret in the morning. Don't ever say that again!" My voice slowly grows shriller with each word. "Nothing to lose? Nothing? How about a normal fucking life? Huh? How about that? He doesn't deserve this bullshit, so don't you fucking dare imply that he isn't important simply because he isn't on location in Tahiti making millions of dollars every time he opens his mouth!"

"Ali, I'm sorry—"

"You should be! Jasper is important. He is somebody and he does have a lot to lose!" I hang up in her face before I fire her for her stupid every-man-for-himself Hollywood mentality.

Fuck Aro. Fuck Bella. Fuck everybody! The world can kiss my pale little ass! Cocksuckers! Fuckheads! Fraudulent bitches!

"ARGH!" I pick up my phone and hurl it across the room, smirking as I watch it shatter into tiny pieces.

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Over the next week, I try calling Jasper repeatedly. He doesn't answer my calls and I don't expect him to. I leave messages pleading with him to call me. But I never hear from him.

After that first week, I stop keeping track of the time. Since I'm always on the move and constantly in a bus or a stadium, I hardly ever see the sun or moon, so I can't even calculate how many days have passed that way. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to. I don't care. My life is now on auto-pilot: Wake up in the middle of the night, call Jasper. Go back to sleep and be woken up three hours later. Call Jasper. Rehearsal. Call Jasper. Voice training. Call Jasper. Phone interviews. Call Jasper. A few physical interviews with a phone call to Jasper between each one. Call Jasper on the way to the next venue where I'm performing, call Jasper before the show and between each set, call Jasper when the show is over.

"Ali?"

"Hmm?" My voice is hollow and I'm having difficulty trying to pay attention to Tracy while thinking about calling Jasper.

"When was the last time you ate, hun?"

Hmmm. Good question. "This morning."

That's a lie. But she doesn't have to know.

"Pffft. Am I supposed to believe that?"

"Sure."

"Al... I'm worried. Really worried. Do you... have a problem?"

"Problem?"

"Um, I don't know how to ask this without sounding—fuck it. I'll just ask... are you anorexic?"

"What? No! Why would you ask that?"

"Look at yourself. You've lost so much weight! Your costumes have had to be refitted twice. Haven't you noticed?"

I look down at my body and shrug. It's just a few ribs showing. No big deal. "I just forget to eat. I'm busy."

"Well, I brought you some barbecue and I'm not leaving till you've eaten it all. We're in Texas, you have to eat barbecue when you're in Texas!"

When Tracy puts the plate in front of me, my belly rumbles violently. Way to be subtle, stomach.

I take a bite of the pulled pork and the rest of the world dissolves around me as that first nibble drips down my throat. It's only me and my barbecue as I quickly devour everything in record time, moaning blissfully when a new flavor bursts on my tongue. When all of the meat is gone, I move on to the sides, making sure they don't get neglected. Since when has macaroni been so damn good?

Tracy's laugh breaks through my haze. "Damn girl, breathe!"

Shut up. Eating.

The biscuits are next. I pick them up and swipe them through the leftover sauce, finishing off four biscuits in five bites.

When the plate is empty, I lick my fingers and reach to pick up the plate so I can lick it clean, but Tracy the Hater gets it first and carries it to the kitchen area. I grumble and lick my fingers again to make sure I didn't leave anything behind the first time.

"So, I'm glad you don't have an eating disorder..."

I roll my eyes. "I told you I didn't. You've seen how busy I am. You're here. Which reminds me, I gotta go."

I quickly get up and jog to my cell, pushing number one to speed dial. It goes to voicemail, like I figured it would, and I wait for the beep.

"Hi Jasper. Um, it's me. Alice. Um, I don't know if you got my other messages or not, but I'll give you my number again in case you haven't. Jasper, I'm so sorry. Really sorry. I would never—I just need to explain why I didn't—"

"Your message has surpassed the—"

Stupid operator and your stupid time limits! Why can't I ever get straight to the point? Why do I always beat around the bush and blabber like a fool?

My phone rings and my heart almost jumps out of my chest as I hit the talk button. "Jasper? Jasper, I'm so glad you called! I just—"

"No babes. It's me. Bella."

"Oh." I can't hide the disappointment in my tone.

"Have you seen the latest issue of People?"

"No. Why?"

"Ali, to put it simply, you look horrible. Emaciated. Painfully thin—"

I huff in annoyance. "Okay, I get it!"

"People are starting to talk, Ali, and we need to do damage control. To appease Aro, I've set up an interview with Jane." I begin to protest but am abruptly cut off.

"Don't go there, Ali! It'll be killing two birds with one stone. You know Jane will be her typical bitchy self and will be tactlessly straightforward, so you'll get to the nitty gritty as quickly as possible. And this exclusive interview will further her pathetic career while you simultaneously clear the air and assure the worried mothers of teeny-boppers that you do not have an eating disorder."

"Fine. When?"

"Tomorrow in between morning rehearsals and vocal training."

"Great," I reply dryly. "Can't wait."

We talk for a few more minutes before I have to get off the phone to sign another pile of glossy pictures that will be sold at the next concert. I wonder how much these things are sold for...

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Over the next however long it was, days, weeks, everyone around me made it their life mission to stuff my face. For the first time in my life, I had to hire a personal trainer because I was gaining weight in places I'd never thought I'd gain weight in. I hate exercising. I really hate exercising.

After today's training session with Zafrina, I honestly wanted to murder her even though it would be pointless. Any sharp object would just bend and snap as soon as it made contact with her titanium abs. Damn Amazon...

I'm now sitting on my bus going who knows where, reading and answering fan mail. Since I get tens of thousands of letters a day, I had to hire a few people who read through my letters and send the more interesting ones on to Bella. She then reads through that pile and gives me the ones she thinks I'd be most interested in.

After answering the tenth letter of the day, I pick up the next envelope and my breath catches when I see the name Jasper Whitlock. I take the letter out of the envelope with shaky hands and take a deep breath before reading.

Alice,

I miss you, but I'm not ready to talk yet. Write me back and tell me everything. I'm ready to hear what you have to say.

Yours,

Jasper

I read the words over and over in my head until my mind can make sense of them and hurriedly pick up a pen, preparing to bare my soul.

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A/N:

Do I smell a reconciliation? :-)

Check out my Alternate Shipper Contest entry called This Summer. It's different from my other stuff, but Jasper's a sweaty farmer, so that makes up for it. Right?

As you know, coachlady1 beta'd the hell out of this chapter. She freakin' rocks and she's aaaaaall mine! *growls at anyone who gets too close*

Until next time! Smooches! ^_^