Author's Note: I'm so very very sorry for taking so long to update. my life has been...hectic to say the least. If you've read my author's note in my other story, "Thank You, Alice", you'll know that my dad just recently passed away and we're in the process of cleaning his house and packing my mom's so we can move into it. Also, I've been kind of without a computer recently since the charger cord to my laptop broke. But my mom just bought me a new one so I've been able to write. Also, as soon as I get a car, which will be in the next few weeks, I will be getting a full time job so that will cut down on my fanfiction writing time. And I will be starting college in the fall, so I'm writing as much as I can now while I have a lot of free time on my hands.

Disclaimer: Not mine...

Last Time:

"Come on, I'll walk you to the door," Edward offered. I waved goodbye as we walked towards the door. He opened the door for me but before I left the house, he grabbed my wrist and stopped me. "Wait," he began as I turned to look at him. "Can I see you again?" I sighed and walked closer to him, kissing his cheek.

"I'll be back tomorrow. Promise," I whispered in his ear before I ran back home.

I didn't sleep well that night. My mind just kept racing, full of thoughts that revolved around Edward. He had every right to not forgive me, to hate my guts, I knew that. After all, he lost me for twenty years weeks before our wedding and then, merely days after we were finally reunited, I left him. The logical side of my braid kept telling me that he had done the same thing to me after my 18th birthday. He left in order to keep me safe, which was exactly what I did for him and everyone else i loved, and I had forgiven him. The other side of my brain, however, argued that I was gone for three years and then, after promising to come back once I knew they were safe, I still didn't. If it weren't for the fact that I hadn't run into Edward on the street we would still be...separated.

I thought about what I would do if Edward didn't forgive me, which I would completely understand if he did and I would not try to get him back if that was the case. When he left me, I was basically catatonic, but when I left it was different. My first year I spent all of my time and energy tracking down Ayden that only the night, when I laid down in motel room after motel room to sleep, was plagued with the memories and sorrow. The second year I spent my time working to control myself so, by the time night time rolled around, i was so exhausted that I just crashed in bed and fell into a dreamless sleep the moment my head hit the pillow. And then, once i could finally have a normal existence again, as normal for me as possible anyway, I was so used to not being around Edward that the separation became only a memory that haunted the back of my mind all day.

I wish I had someone to talk to, a friend who knew everything about vampires and about what was going on so I didn't have to bother explaining anything.

I thought about what Alice might say. "It's fate," she would exclaim with that wide, excited grin of hers, "think about how many times you've been broken up and you two always seem to find each other again. Obviously it's meant to be."

But how many times do we have to separate before it's finally for good? What if something else happens to us and we break up, only to never find each other again? It's a big world, it's possible. Even as vampires.

The next morning was sunny at first, and I wished so bad that I could go out and enjoy the warmth of the sun's rays, but, by mid-morning, rain clouds had taken over the sky. It was Saturday, I didn't have classes and I had the day off, so I spent the majority of the day rearranging my entire apartment - not because it needed to be done, but because I knew the planning and hard work it took would distract my brain long enough to keep me sane.

It wasn't until much later in the afternoon when I heard my door open and a very familiar voice called out for me, the sound soft and cautious. I was in the middle of moving my bed across the room and I froze on the spot.

It was Edward, and he called my name out one more time before he entered my bedroom.

What in the world was he doing here? It couldn't be just to see me. No, that was impossible, something must be wrong. It was the only logical conclusion that my brain could come up with.

"Yes?" I looked up at him and saw the expression on his face.

Yup, something's definitely wrong.

"You have to come back to the house."

"Why?"

He shook his head and held out his hand to me. "I don't even know how to put it into words. You just have to come to the house with me." I didn't move, just merely raised an eyebrow at him. I watched him sigh, then his expression changed and his eyes smoldered at me. "Please?" He all but whispered.

I wanted to yell at him about how unfair it was that he dazzled me, but I couldn't find the words. So I left the bed exactly where it was, slipped on my sneakers, and followed him out of the apartment and to the Volvo.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of his face, which he kept expressionless, as he drove. I couldn't even think about why he would need me at the house, if nothing seemed to be the matter. If something was wrong, if his family was in trouble, wouldn't he have just said it? It would have gotten me out of the apartment faster.

When we reached the house I noticed a car in the driveway that I didn't recognize. So either they got a new car or they had visitors. I was guessing it was the second one. Now, the question was, were they welcomed visitors or not?

I didn't wait for Edward to turn off the car before I opened the door and hopped out. When the voices from the house reached me as I stepped onto the porch, I froze on the spot.

"Perhaps Bella should be the one to tell you," Carlisle was saying and I could tell it was someone from my past.

"I hope she gets here soon." It was Roxy. The vampire who had become my sister in the twenty years after I was changed into a vampire and I couldn't remember anything about myself but my name.

I spun around and looked at Edward, who was standing right behind me with a guilty look on his face. I couldn't even form words at first, my mouth just opened and closed a few times. It was hard enough to face the Cullens, how could I face the Raine's? I lived with them for twenty years! And then left them without even the smallest goodbye. This isn't fair. I shouldn't have to do this.

But, I reminded myself, it's my own fault. They deserve to know what happened to me. After what I did to them, I owe them that much.

"W-what are they doing here?" I managed to ask once I found my voice again.

"Well," he began, "they call about once a week to see if we've heard from you yet and yesterday, after you left, I called them and told them that you were here."

I stared at Edward with wide eyes. I couldn't not believe what he was saying. "You did what?" I exclaimed.

He fidgeted a little, but tried to reason with me. "I felt obligated, Bella." I didn't say anything more to him, because I didn't really know what to say. There was no way out of this, and, as much as I didn't want to go in and face them, I knew that I had to. "Please don't be mad."

I hadn't expected to hear him say that. Me mad at him? I should be asking him him not to be mad at me. I took a deep breath and half turned to peek at him from the corner of my eye. His eyes were smoldering again. "I'm not mad." I said quietly. "Just...I don't want to face them. They must hate me."

Edward put his hand on my shoulder and spun me around to look at him. "Bella," the way my name rolled off his tongue, my breathing stopped momentarily, "they're not going to be mad at you. They understand why you had to leave. They love you and they're just happy that you're back."

I couldn't tell if he was talking about the Raine's anymore or if he was talking about himself now. Either way, it gave me the courage that I needed to turn around and walk through the front door.

Only the Raines, Carlisle and Esme sat in the living room and, as soon as I walked into the room, every head snapped up to look at me. There was unbearable silence for a while until Carmen, letting her emotions get the best of herself as she sometimes did, crossed the room within a millisecond and threw her arms around me. The only thing she said was "I missed you," and I felt like I would break down into tears right then and there.

All the memories and feelings of the night I first left, when I was hurting and I knew how much I was hurting them, came back and hit me like a wrecking ball. And now, seeing them again and seeing the expressions on their faces, the reminder that I had left to keep them safe didn't help my emotions at all. I kept thinking that I could have done it differently. Kept in contact, gone to visit, something. Though I knew wishing would do nothing. I had wished to change the past over and over again and, obviously, nothing happened.

"Bella," William began as Carmen released me from her embrace. I bowed my head just slightly in shame, knowing I had disappointed my 'father.' "Are you - " he stopped for a moment, "what did you find out."

I took a deep breath and remained where I stood as I told them exactly what I had told the Cullen's the day before. I was halfway through the story when I realized Carlisle and Esme had left the room, no doubt to give us privacy. I sat down in a near by chair and continued my story, each of them looking at me curiously.

"Wow..." Max was the first to respond once I had finally finished.

"That's...not what we were expecting." William concluded, but then smiled and gave me a warm, proud expression I didn't deserve. "But we're so glad that you figured everything out. We've been so worried about you."

"I - " I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry didn't seem like strong enough words. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't apologized to the Cullen's either, and they deserved it as well. "Everyone," I said, not bothering to yell. Within minutes they had joined us in the living room and were waiting for me to speak. "I'm sorry..." I said lamely, cringing slightly as I spoke them. They sounded so...insignificant. They weren't enough! "I'm sorry I left and that I hurt you. I'm sorry I disappeared and didn't tell anyone anything. But I was so...scared. I was so terrified that I might change again and hurt you...or worse." I shuddered at the thought. "You have every right to hate me for what I did, and if you tell me right now to get out and never come back I will completely understand. I - "

" - Bella! Bella! Bella!" Carlisle held up his hand and stood up as he cut me off. "We don't hate you." I blinked a few times as the words sunk in. At first I thought Carlisle was just speaking for himself, because he was so forgiving as it was, but I looked around and everyone was shaking their heads. Even Rosalie, and I wasn't even that close to her. I couldn't even speak.

"Carlisle's right, Bella," Roxy said. Normally she was energetic and cheerful, but she was completely serious as she spoke. "We understand why you left. As a matter of fact, if i was in your position, I would have done exactly the same thing. Sure, a phone call now and then would have been nice, but it must have been hard on you too. "

"We all love you, Bella, and we're happy that we've found you again." Esme said with a loving smile.

And, once again, I was speechless. I didn't feel as though I deserved their love or forgiveness, and here they were handing it to me without even thinking twice about it. Edward, who had been standing next to me ever since he got downstairs, placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him and the love that was reflecting in his eyes was just...too much for me. I bolted out of the house and back to my apartment as fast as my feet would carry me.

The fact that they were so forgiving made everything harder. It would be easier if they were angry with me, because I deserved it. It was so very wrong for me to hurt the people who were nothing but wonderful to me - yes, I'm including Rosalie in that - the way I did.

I couldn't sleep again, my mind twisted with regret and guilt. I played through the events over and over again in my head before I decided that I couldn't keep avoiding everyone. I couldn't run away again. It was time to talk about this, and I was starting with Edward.

Author's Note: I really hope you liked it. I do.

Preview:

"Jane, wait."

"I'm tired of waiting. I'm hungry and I would like to go home. Felix, take care of this...and fast."

~Jyssica~