It took every ounce of my self control not to run out to her to help her. As soon as the Jabberwocky struck her, making her fall to the ground, with hate burning in my eyes, I took an instinctive step forward. I wanted to continue, to stab with my sword, to make him pay, but I couldn't.

If I did then it would mean destroying everything we had been working towards. It would mean that the battle would rage forward. It would mean fighting all over the field.

And worst of all, it would mean that I would have abandoned everything I had been planning since I first realized that she was going to have to fight. It would mean that I would be shattering the protective wall I had been forming in my mind, trying to keep thoughts of her, me, us, out. It would mean finally admitting that I was in… wait, no. I would not even think it.

The Jabberwocky struck again. I took another step forward, wanting to run, hold her, make her see some sense! But I couldn't. Not now.

The Jabberwocky struck a third time, and could not stop. I ran up to it and stabbed it. That momentary triumph was interrupted with a shrill cry of 'Off with his head!' This was not going to be good.

As he came running at me, I realized who he was. The heart shaped eye patch, the scar, the dark mane of wild hair, it was him. The man who had taken a fancy to her. Her, my Alice. But that's the thing. She wasn't my Alice. But that wasn't the point. It was him.

I ran towards him. I wanted to make him pay. I tried to strike at him, but he was too fast. He almost got me, because I was watching her. She was running up to the tower, almost falling every other moment. I wanted to help, I wanted to scream, I wanted to destroy the Jabberwocky and scatter his bones so he could hurt her no longer.

Even in armor, she was beautiful. Her hair streamed out behind her. Her skin was fair and pale as moon light. I wanted nothing more but to protect her.

My attention turned back to the battle. I had a score to settle.

'Don't do it' I told myself. 'It'll only hurt you both. What will you gain, asking her?' I kept saying to myself. I had been building up this moment. I would let her leave, not even offering. Why did this have to happen? Why? I could have kept pretending, kept telling myself it was just because she had come back, that there were no feelings. It was only happiness. I had to offer though. She had to know her choices.

"You could stay you know." I said I walked up to her. 'Bone head, bone head, bone head!' I told myself. Why would she want an mad old hatter like me? I was an idiot.

"Now that's an idea." She said. My heart skipped a beat. She might stay. She might stay and be mine, forever. 'Don't hope.' I told myself. 'You'll only be hurt more when she doesn't.'

"Well, why don't you go with it then?" I said. I wanted her to stay. To love me. To be here, in underland, forever.

"I have things to do up there. You have things down here." She said. My heart sunk. I really hated this part. When she left, and came back, and didn't remember me. I moved closer to her. She hugged me.

"How are a raven and a writer's desk the same?" She asked. We pulled apart.

"I really have no idea." I said. I leaned closer to her.

"I'll be back before you know it." She said. I got hopeful again. She was coming back at least.

"How is that possible?" I asked. I really wanted to know.

"Things are only impossible if you believe they are." She said. I couldn't stop myself. I leaned forward and whispered in her ear,

"I love you Alice." I was too late to hear her reply. The last thing she saw though, was my face.

You know how you think you will be prepared when someone you love, truly love, leaves you. Well you won't be. As soon as I knew she couldn't see me, I crumpled to the ground an cried.