This one shot right here was written for a couple of reasons, the main one being the ridiculous notion that Ichigo favors Orihime more than Rukia. I've been browsing around IchiRuki and Ichihime forums for a while now just to see which has the stronger "evidence" and I'm sorry Ichihime reasons don't cut it for me.
However I do agree with them on the basis that Ichigo does indeed care for Orihime but is it romantic? I highly doubt it is. So just to help convey my thoughts on Ichigo's relationship with both Rukia and Orihime I wrote a one shot that conveys neither in a bad light (cause I love the both of them!). I hope you enjoy and see my reasoning behind it.
I do not own Bleach. It belongs to the wonderful Tite Kubo.
Naïve. Ignorant. Dense as a brick. She knew he was all these things when it came to love. Still she couldn't help but lean over his desk that afternoon in class when they were alone ( a rare occasion), look timidly into the dark chocolate eyes that made her think of hot fudge sundaes and, without thought, without a beat, place her trembling lips on his own.
It lasted only a second; one small, tiny, tender second that would forever change the ocean's tide that she so badly wanted to crash onto his shore. She quickly withdrew and sloppily sat back down into her seat, blushing the dark red of an apple, eyes suddenly avoiding his. She had felt so confident when she went in for the prize she had wanted for ages (Or was it a much shorter time? She used to just giggle at quirky, distorted images of his face in her head. When did she begin to long for him, to want to hold his hand, to kiss him, to kiss…?) She finally looked at him.
"Kurosaki-kun…"
His face…looked stupid. With eyes wide, his lips pressed tight, sitting up straight like a nail that the carpenter forgot to hammer in, he looked absolutely, completely, stupefied.
"Inoue…"
He said her name out loud, with no undertones of either pleasure or distaste. Just…he seemed to sit up even straighter and the girl who had quickly gained a degree of interpreting his emotions was soon failing at the test she had placed upon herself.
It was surprise and yet it wasn't. It was a puzzle though the puzzle pieces had been figured out a while ago. It was sense that didn't make sense.
"Kurosaki-kun…Have I upset you?" Panic at all the contradictions were already setting in her pores and inflaming them with vigor. She painfully wrung her slim hands in her lap and babbled like a sheep. "I'm really sorry. Really. Really, I am. It was wrong of me, I shouldn't have invaded your personal space like that. People don't normally do that you know. Only weirdos. Ah, I guess that makes me wired but forgive me for me weirdness please. I didn't mean−"
Blankly staring at her with the mute emotion she couldn't decipher he suddenly took her hand and she instantly stopped talking.
"It's not weird." He stated with assurance yet his eyebrows did not bend to their rare stance of understanding and sympathy at all. The hand that held hers did so limply and he seemed to be searching the floor for something. Anything.
"Kurosaki-kun…" At her voice he looked up into the beautiful round face that could only belong to a princess.
And yet,
"Inoue…is there something you want?"
Another beat, another moment, a question. A question that made her search deeply into her chest only to find that her heart had stopped beating some time ago.
She now knew what his expression was.
And then she couldn't stop herself from suddenly thinking if this confession had been Rukia's…
"I'm sorry… I…!"
She took her hand from his and fled. She refused to let him see her gushing waterfall.
She watched as the young man walked in limply like a broken soldier and flop down onto his bed facedown. The Kuchiki, violet eyes large yet focused turned in her seat and waited for it.
"Get out.", was his order.
"Like hell I will." she defied. She passively put down the manga she had been reading and crossed her arms with that superior attitude she had whenever they were together. "What's your problem now?" When he didn't answer she got up from her seat and began to walk over slowly.
"Do have to knock it out of you?" The boy peered up, tired. "Rukia…" "Don't Rukia me." She set herself at the edge at his bed and tried her best to ignore the irritating mismatched socks he had on his feet. "Well?"
He looked at his desk for a moment before answering with an uncanny embarrassment. "Well it's just…Inoue kissed me."
Rukia felt her eyebrows raise and her heart skip.
"Well…that makes sense." She said after a pregnant silence. It was strange experiencing a small pool of feelings that had been overlooked before start stirring in her stomach up to chest but she pushed them down again for another time. Going on, Rukia, move on.
"She never said it explicitly but…I always figured Inoue had something for you. Never thought she'd kiss you up front like that though."
"And what makes you think I did?" he snapped.
"I never did." The shinigami woman snickered. "You're so dense sometimes you put Renji to shame." Ichigo sat up fluidly, veins pulsing in agitation. "I'm not dense. I knew…sort of…"
"Barely. Like somewhere deep hidden within your subconscious. But at least it's out in the open now. Feel better?"
Another tick mark. "You're not helping. At all." Rukia sighed, frustrated and pensive, bringing her small knees to her chin. "I'm not aren't I?"
She remained silent and began to look eerily melancholy. Her orange haired friend set his jaw into a deep frown. He could only take so much.
"What the hell Rukia."
"What?" Her spark came back instantaneously and she glared at him, hard. "If anything I should be saying that to you. Orihime kissed you. So what? You know how many guys would kill you right now if they knew?" Ichigo growled furiously. "That's not the point!"
"Then what is Ichigo? Stop beating around the bush and tell me already!"
"It just that," His eyes became unfocused as he played the scene over again in his head. "It happened so fast! One minute we're talking about Shakespeare the next minute she's kissing me!" Rukia, eyebrows knitted together, kept her steady gaze on him. "And then?"
"And then…and then she couldn't stop talking and I…" He lowered his eyes in shame.
"You did what Ichigo?"
"I asked if she wanted something."
This time there was no pause on her part. Like a spiked lightning bolt, she slapped him.
"Damn it Rukia!"
"You're shitting me right? It should be obvious to you what she wants! Baka, baka, baka*!" She got up from his bed and noisily sat at the desk again. In a sort of daze, and confusion, Ichigo felt his head racing in circles. "Rukia!"
"You're jerk! I don't want to talk to you right now."
"But−!"
Twirling viciously in her chair she faced him. "Why would you ask Orihime the question that you yourself need to answer?"
And just like that it began to make sense. Sucking in a breath, his eye widened as the truth hit him with ferocious speed.
"That's the only reason you feel guilty." Rukia continued, not ready to stop. "You didn't know what to do. No, you knew what you wanted to do but because you like to play hero so much you didn't want to see her break. So you asked her what she wanted just so you could simply play along and deny you're desire for her sake."
"I care for Inoue!" he shot back but he was already losing the battle.
"Of course you do you idiot! You wouldn't have gone to save her from Aizen if you didn't. So do Ishida, Chad, Renji and I. But do you think if Orihime kissed any one of us we'd suddenly be willing to lie to ourselves just to make her happy?"
"I…I just…" The words he wanted to bark back at her died. Lamely he ran his fingers through his seemingly course but soft hair and stared stubbornly stared at the floor. He could argue all he wanted but when it came to Rukia he was just another book she could read with startling accuracy.
Then it clicked.
"…I saved you too you know."
"So?"
They stared at each other, the once guilty ridden eyes becoming intense when they settled on her. Rukia desperately avoided them. Next time, Rukia, next time, go on.
"You care for her Ichigo but do you love her?"
Looking at the girl before him suddenly made the answer as clear as day. "No."
"But you feel bad that you don't right?"
"Yeah…"
It was annoying but she softly smiled anyway with understanding. It was so like him to feel this way. He always wanted to be the one to protect and make the people he cared for happy. He was almost a noble character in that sense but one could only go so far (But Orihime loved that. She admired him greatly because of it. It had its faults but is could be loved and maybe, just maybe she too…).
"Rukia."
She returned to the present and gripped onto the back of the chair with all her might. "If you care for her Ichigo than you have to tell her the truth. If you just go out with her to please her, your relationship isn't going to end on a good note. You'll lose her."
He chuckled dryly. "I'll lose you too won't I?"
She quickly turned around in her seat, eyes staring hard at the desk. "Of course. I probably care more for Orihime than you ever could. I would never forgive you."
The room settled into a comfortable silence that only the two of them could create. It was a wonderful feeling but she couldn't help but hate herself for feeling this way. Because even though she criticized that part of him that always sunk to despair and guilt in reality she would have done the same thing wouldn't she? It was always like that. The only reason she understood him, why he understood her so well, was because they both shared that horrible habit of putting the blame on themselves. A burden that only the two of them could ever understand. And as the few years they knew each other developed into something more, and more she couldn't deny, this bond they had didn't exist anymore, pretend not to notice the need for him in her world, couldn't help but place herself in Orihime's shoes. Because she…she herself…
Strong arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders and a fine chin nestled itself on top of her raven head. She didn't even let out a gasp.
"I know I can be a pain in your ass and I hate to admit there's still a lot I need to learn but you…you always clear up my rain don't you?"
She couldn't take it anymore. Her hands shot up and hung on tightly to the arms that embraced her.
"Ichigo…"
"In the future, when I get stronger and grow up a bit more…I want to ask you something Rukia."
She closed her eyes and all the pent up feelings inside her cooled down into a wondrous emotion called by one name and one name alone. She could wait.
The sun was bright and sunny the next day, a careless breeze flapping the hem of her skirt. On a morning like this things seemed right in her world where she could eat ice cream with curry for hours, run a gazillion mile race and never get tired, grow wings and fly; a world where all her wildest dreams and wishes came true without logic, without care, without so much as a protest.
But no such world exists for anybody and certainly not for her.
She didn't remember what time she woke up that morning, barely tasted the food put into her mouth and only sighed when she saw over four voice messages from Tatsuki on her cell phone. She pressed the device near her red cheek and ruefully smiled.
"Now I know how you feel Tatsuki. He's a heartbreaker ne?"
At first Orihime reasoned that she was going overbroad. After all he never gave her a rejection, a dismissive wave of the hand or a sneering frown of disgust. He cared enough to take her hand and ask her what she wanted. She wanted him she could have said and he would smile and agree.
But it would be a lie. If he loved her, loved her the way she loved him, he would have known what to do after her kiss. Perhaps he would have even relished in it like they did in those romance films and dive back for some more. But he didn't. He probably never would.
A part of her, that small wretched part of her she tried to dismiss but never could get rid of, screamed the blame: RUKIA, RUKIA, RUKIA! And it hurt so much. She loved the girl. It could never be her fault for her own tragedy.
But today she wanted to pretend she was a shadow on an empty street, and invisible force not meant to be captured or contained. She'd walk on for miles and miles to different towns and cities without anyone noticing her very existence. And she wouldn't mind one bit. It hurt too much to exist right now.
But bitter reality wouldn't let her. Everything seemed more vibrant, sharp, and tangible. It was all so pretty but she felt so numb, so trapped. Alone. She wanted to be saved from it all.
And there was only one person she believed could do that.
She had always viewed him as a hero, a protecting prince charming of some sorts. She loved that about him, loved it so much it sometimes drove her mad. So maybe it had been a foolish wish of hers to become strong enough not to depend on him anymore. With her way of thinking it was bound for failure for in her mind he would always be the hero and she would be the princess. It wasn't like he wasn't refusing her unconscious whims either. He played the role perfectly to every last gritty factor. She realized that on that horrible day he died yet still called out his name.
It was because she knew that that she decided to kiss him when he was awake. When he was asleep he could dream dreams where he had no titles, no roles. But when he was awake he lived solely for his placed purpose in this world. To protect.
There was only one thing Orihime wanted to see when she leaned down and placed her lips on his: An Ichigo who wanted her not out of protection or duty, but a boy who wanted her solely as his own. For years her feelings flew under his radar without the detector going off. Just once, just once she wanted her desires to be granted. He was practically her whole world.
But when it came to her the only word labeled above her head was "protect". Nothing more. That was the unnamed emotion that ran through his eyes. It was the only one that ever did.
He never did give her the look she wanted, did he?
Closing her eyes she stretched her arms wide and bore herself to the sun.
By the time the sky morphed itself into an orange hue of colors glowing brightly above her head he finally saved her.
"Inoue!"
She turned without much thought behind it. She already knew it was him. Long legs jogging quickly and with much haste came her way, his mess of orange hair flying madly in the wind.
"Kurosaki-kun."
Skidding to a halt he stood before her like the brazen hero she idealized him for, eyebrows knit together and focused. It seemed so surreal, him being here with her after the devastating blow he had unknowingly given her. But happiness still welled deeply within her. It was crazy, ludicrous, bonkers, and she couldn't help but suddenly open her mouth and burst out laughing. The young man took a step back, obviously perplexed.
"Wait, Inoue. What's so−"
"You came."
He became silent as tears began to fill her honey brown eyes once more. She kept wiping them away with the back of her hand, but they kept coming. Her high shaky laugh turned into quick sobs that shook her shoulders. "You came for me Kurosaki-kun! I thought you hated me, confusing you like that yesterday! I'm−I'm terrible aren't I? I shouldn't have−!"
"Inoue hush up."
The order he gave her had been used on others but never on her. Eyes wide, she looked up at him to see him, his face firm.
"I could never hate you. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have asked you that question."
Slowly Orihime's gaze softened, her lips opening. "I want you."
"I know. But Inoue−"
Delicately she held up a finger for his talking to cease. Another breeze blew by and she shivered along with it, amazed that she could be so calm right now. "It's okay. I already know your answer. If it makes you feel better you don't have to say it. So please…the last thing you can do for me is not give me that look. You have nothing to feel guilty about." He lowered his eyes in recognition.
"…You're right." It proved difficult at first but he eventually rearranged his face into its normal fitting. He stared peacefully down at her, a half smile playing on his mouth. "Better?"
"Much better!" she yelled out with a bit too much enthusiasm but things were beginning to turn back into their normal functions and workings and all she could feel was utter relief. It had been a long, bumpy, horrific ride but finally she could get it all out of her system and walk on with her head held high.
Ichigo held out his hand generously. "Let me walk you home?"
To his surprise the girl slapped it away and turned her nose in the air.
"Are you trying to make me fall deeper in love with you?"
"What? No! That wasn't my intention!"
Her mock anger could not last for long and she linked arms with him, her smile a wistful but true. "I'll let you treat me like a princess. Just for today."
As they walked towards the sunset Orihime was tempted to play pretend again. They would romantically be walking to their castle were they would greet their pet dragon and sit in front of the fire place and make garlic flavored s'mores. But today she would finally stand up and listen to the music she had been so deaf to. He was not her prince and she was not his princess. This would be the last time he would walk her home like this and allow her to believe in a life together. Tomorrow he would be he would be someone else's.
"Kurosaki-kun."
"Hmm?"
"I still have a lot of growing up to do. But you'll be there to grow alongside with me right?"
He smiled a hard yet determined smile that lit brightly for all to see. "Of course."
Because even real heroes weren't perfect.
*baka means idiot/fool/stupid in japanese in case you didn't know. I felt writing it in the native language would convey a little more emotion.
I seem to like long one shots...Hopefully you can spot some parallels/symbols that are also in the manga itself.
I do hope you enjoyed. If you did, then please review. Even if you hated it still send a review (but you had better be mature about it). Feedback is always good for a humble writer such as myself.