Behold! I LIVE!

Sooooo, it might have been one or two weeks since I posted last…

Okay, it's totally been two years, how did that even happen?! Life is crazy and I stopped having time for writing, but you guys kept sending me wonderful reviews, asking if I'd died and if I would ever just god damned finish this story already! Well I'm back, and I'm going to try my damnedest to do so!

I had to read this all over again from the start to remember what I'd written, and it took me FOUR HOURS to do so! We've now officially made it to 63 thousand words on this mother, and the story has barely started, so thank you so much to everyone who has read this far, and to all those that sent the reviews that ended up spurring me back into action. I love each and every one of you a million. 3

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.

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Draco woke ravenous, a deep hunger curling in his stomach in a way that had his head reeling.

He sat up slowly, only to be overcome by a wave of nausea and dizziness. Feeling the urgency sink into his gut he threw the covers back and stumbled out of bed, running as quickly as his ungainly legs would carry him into the bathroom, where he unceremoniously hurled himself at the toilet, body arching as he hacked and heaved, convulsive retching yielding little more than bile from his empty stomach.

He huddled there for what felt an age, head spinning and arms weakly hugging the cool porcelain, afraid that so violent was the retching he would somehow manage to cough up his own stomach.

After a while the queasiness settled, and he was left lying weak and boneless on the cold stone floor.

He needed.

Draco groaned, the knowledge sinking into his sour gut like a weighted stone.

Oh God how he needed.

It had only been three days; it was too soon. His body thrummed with it though, the sickness urging him to his feet in a way that could not be denied. His skin was feverish and blood on fire with it, boneless limbs somehow steely as it forced them into motion.

Before he knew it he was up, bare chest not even registering to him as he left his room, no hint of embarrassment or caring in his desolate mind. Had he felt it little would have changed, as his limbs were not his own, his thoughts clouded and vision foggy.

His steps were silent, like a predator in the night he made not a sound, in the common room his pale skin glowed in the gentle light cast by the fire's dying coals.

There was a young woman sleeping in one of the chairs before it, books piled around her on the soft pillows, a heavy tomb lying awkwardly in her lap.

He slid towards her like silk, brushing a hand against her cheek gently as he knelt on the rug before her, hands clasping around her face as he tilted it down to meet his eyes.

She stirred, eyelids fluttering as she was pulled from sleep, irises instantly fixing on his own. Her pupils blew wide, impossibly so, and she sat transfixed.

'Glenn, what are you doing up?' she asked softly, her voice a monotone whisper in the quiet of the night.

'Shhhh' he purred, 'Sweet thing, I desire you'.

She blushes slightly, but the reaction was slow 'Now?' she slurred slightly, 'We are in the common room love.'

His reply was velvety, 'No my love, we are in your room, it is safe.'

'Oh' she nodded slowly, 'You're right.'

She lifted an arm, trying to move the cumbersome book out of the way, but her hand hung limply from the wrist, as if she were a marionette commanded by a clumsy puppeteer.

She released a distressed whine as her attempts proved useless, prompting him to rise higher on his knees and shift it for her.

'Hush darling' he purred, 'did you miss me?'

'Of course I did Glenn', her voice was breathy, 'you know I always do.'

'How much?' his voice was cool, 'Will you show me?'

She shivered visibly, weak fingers tangling in her robes as she spread her legs, pulling the dark material between them closer with embarrassment, 'I ache for you lover' she whispered.

The man's hands slid up her calves and along her thighs, thumbs circling surely on their sensitive inner flesh, so close as to nearly brush against the heat that pulsed between them. He bent lower, hot tongue sliding up the length of her right leg, filling him with taste, with sense, with life.

His strong hands pushed her willing legs wider, the motion forcing her body to slide a little lower on the couch, closer to his heated mouth. He was touching her then, sure thumb venturing deeper between her legs, sliding against the pert nub that stood out against the silken material of her undergarments, hot tongue questing lower to lave at the dewy softness beneath it.

She groaned headily and he broke away, looking up hungrily to meet her eyes. They swayed unsteadily, an almost imperceptible flicker to her irises that seemed inhuman.

With a sudden surge of awareness Draco was flung back into his body, slammed back into reality with such abrupt force that he pulled away reeling, gasping for air.

He stared up at the dishevelled girl before him, a sudden sickness washing over him with such violence that he began to feel his body clench once more in the early signs of a purge.

'What's wrong Glenn?' she asked quietly, her head tilted drunkenly to the side and legs spread unabashedly wide, 'Don't you want me?'

Draco felt bile rising in his throat again as he stumbled to his feel, 'It's not that sweetheart', the words caught in his throat as he reached forward, tears threatening to build in his eyes as he clumsily pulled her robes down, putting the book back in her lap, 'But I think you should sleep.'

She nodded wearily, eyelids already closing, 'Okay lover' she sighed.

Draco unsteadily made for the door, his head spinning and gut wrenching as he tasted the trace of her still left on his tongue.

'Am I tainted?' she whispered behind him as he left, 'Come back and touch me...'

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Harry woke early, groggily making his way out of bed a little before lunch, the sunlight streaming unhindered through his bedroom window an unwelcome reminder of the time.

He had purposely left the curtains open in the hopes that the daylight would wake him, but that did not take away the discomfort of having to rise so much earlier than he would like.

He gently picked up the two immobile doxies from the bed beside him, inspecting them with the scrutinous eye he had adopted, checking for signs of life or emaciation.

So far they seemed stable, but he knew with a sinking in his gut that that could change in an instant.

He had decided the night before to take them to Snape, and that was what he was going to do. He didn't know if he could trust the Potions Master, but he had exhausted his own knowledge and was quickly running out of options.

He showered and dressed quickly, before gently tucking the little creatures into an inner pocket of his robe, and heading for the door.

'Are you sure this is a good idea Harry?' Orion asked quietly as he passed her frame, 'There may be no way to save them, and revealing yourself like this could put you in serious danger.'

Harry turned to her, knowing that the risk was very real, 'I just have to try Orion', his voice was defeated, 'I feel responsible for these two; I haven't know them for long, but they're like family.'

She nodded once, 'Then go, and do whatever you have to do in order to keep that professor on your side.'

Harry nodded solemnly, 'I will'.

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Harry entered the dining hall right as lunch started, meaning that for once he was able to slip in amongst the rest of the students relatively unnoticed. He made his way up to where Snape was sitting, trying not to look too conspicuous as he caught the professor's eye.

Snape looked surprised to see him so early in the day, 'Black, what can I do for you?'

Harry tried to look unhurried, 'I'd like to have a word with you about a potion, if you have a moment Professor?'

Snape frowned at him, 'I'm afraid I don't right now', he gestured to the teacher sat beside him, 'We are having an important discussion.' Seeing the sour look on Harry's face he continued, 'but you can come by my office after lunch if you would like.'

Harry nodded, trying not to look too annoyed, 'Thank you Professor, that will be fine.'

He made his way back down to the Gryffindor table, knowing that it would look strange if he didn't stay and eat along with the rest of his house, but also feeling the urgency that the weight in his pocket leant him.

He sat down heavily beside Ron, unabashedly staring at Hermione across the table, all but daring her to say something about it; come hell or high water, he was not about to give up his friend because of some petty grudge she had against him.

Hermione stared, but surprisingly did not rise to the challenge, instead choosing to continue her meal in silence.

Noticing the sudden silence Ron looked up, still shoving food in his mouth without the barest hint of embarrassment. 'Well, isn't this nice?' he somehow managed to get out around the bread and cheese rolling around in his mouth, 'See, we're all just one big happy family.'

Hermione scowled a little, but she seemed noticeably softened.

'Hermione.' Ron said stolidly.

She put her fork down with a clatter, 'Fine! Okay, I'll talk to him!' She fixed Harry with still angry eyes, 'Look, I'm sorry for being so hard on you lately, but I'm a bit mad, a bit jealous, and really just a bit angry about the way you've been behaving, okay?!'

Ron stared at her, taking a meaningfully huge bite of his sandwich.

Hermione sighed, some of the heat leaving her eyes, 'Look, you've changed a lot Harry, and I'm not sure how to take it.' Her voice was softer now, and Harry finally found himself able to hear her words beyond the ringing in his ears, 'You seem to have turned against Dumbledore, your clothes and your attitude make it seem as though you've turned against us, you've started hanging out with Malfoy, and taking this crazy potions class' she shook her head, 'I'm just a bit lost in it all, and I'm sorry for taking it out on you. I just don't know where we stand anymore.'

Ron smiled stupidly, and Harry couldn't help but grin at his friend internally; he wondered how long it had taken him to convince Hermione to voice her feelings.

Harry nodded slowly, 'I think I understand, and for what it's worth I'm sorry I snapped at you last week, but I'm going through some stuff right now, and my mood hasn't exactly been stable lately.'

He shook his head, running the fingers of his right hand tiredly through his long hair, 'I can't really explain it to you; my feelings are my own, but I can assure you that I have not 'gone bad' as you put it the other day, I'm just starting to see the shades of grey that are all around us.'

She nodded, but stayed stonily silent, clearly expecting more from him.

Harry shrugged, 'Fine, I'm angry with Dumbledore because he would not trust me enough to tell me what was going on last year. If I had been clued in, if he's just opened up and told me what was happening, Sirius might still be alive. The more I think about it, the more angry it makes me, and the more I realise that he's been like this for years.'

He sighed tiredly, 'He seems like a gentle and loving old man, but I'm starting to see that he's just as calculating as everyone else, and no matter his final intentions, I do not like to be used.' His tone turned cold as he ran out of words, his ability to talk about the issue utterly spent, 'That's all I can tell you for now.'

Hermione nodded, her face softening a little, 'Okay Harry. I don't know that I understand, but I'll try to. I'm sorry I snapped at you too.' She returned to eating, and apparently the conversation was over.

Ron grinned and clapped Harry on the back, waggling his eyebrows and giving an open thumbs-up as he ate hungrily.

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Draco felt like throwing up, his stomach roiling as he tried to put food inside of it, chewing dryly like a cow on cud as he tried to get it down. His eyes were red, blinking slowly as he stared, sleep having evaded him after the events of the previous night.

She was sat across and just down from him at the table.

God, he didn't even know her name.

He felt sick with the knowledge of what he'd done to her, of what more he had intended to do.

Rapist

A little voice whispered it in his head.

You're a rapist, and you liked it…

He groaned, dropping his fork with a clatter as he put his forehead in his hand, the taste of her hot wetness rising in the back of his throat, unwanted heat coiling in his gut as his eyes prickled.

'Glenn!'

He startled, looking up just in time to see her greet the boy; he was tall and well-muscled, with dark hair and deep brown eyes.

He looked nothing like Draco, and yet she had seen him, had welcomed him.

God his fingers itched with it, with a burning, prickling fire more intense even than that which curled constantly within the flesh of his arm.

He wanted her, he owned her.

He felt the familiar taste of bile rising in his throat, and violently pushed his plate away, standing shakily to put some distance between himself and the table. With trembling legs he slowly made his way out of the dining hall, and back down to the Slytherin dorm.

'Draco?' The familiar voice greeted him as he walked through the entrance into the common room.

He groaned, trying to turn away as Pansy stood up and made her way over to him, but she had already seen him.

'Are you crying?'

She grabbed his face with a surprisingly strong grip, turning him towards her, soft eyes inspecting his own, 'You poor thing, what's wrong?'

Draco wouldn't speak, he couldn't; he knew that making a noise right now might break his resolve, and he refused to stay anything but strong.

She brushed away the tears threatening to fall from his lashes, and pulled him into a hug.

He resisted, his body rigid and mind utterly afraid of contact, of what he could do to her.

'It's okay' she whispered, 'I'm immune'.

Draco startled, pulling back from her to stare in shock.

Pansy released him awkwardly, letting her hands fall and join in front of her, fingers twisting nervously as she looked back at him.

'What do you mean immune?' Draco's voice was cold, 'immune to what?'

Pansy looked afraid now, 'To your…um, desires? They won't work on me, so you're safe…' she petered off, her gaze falling to stare at her fingers as though she suddenly found them fascinating.

Draco could only stare, 'How…how do you…' he could barely get the sentence out, but she knew what he meant. She always knew.

'I've seen you', she whispered, lowering her voice as another student entered the common room, 'All of the times, so many times…you skip a meal, and then you seem…hungry.'

Draco felt sick, the churning in his stomach rising again, but she continued.

'It's getting worse, isn't it?' she pulled him unresisting into a corner, 'You used to go after them, you had to put some effort in, but now they just come to you. It's…it's bleeding out of your control, isn't it?'

Draco could feel the tears again, burning at the back of his eyes. He swallowed thickly, 'No one knows about this, h-how can you know so much?'

She shook her head, 'My aunt, she treated one of your kind once', she reached out and tapped at his head, 'Such strength in here, behind those eyes, it's hard to control, isn't it?'

Draco's eyes fell, 'I can't stop it, and you're right, it's…bleeding through. I can't tell when it happens until it's too late; sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it.' His voice cracked and he faltered, '…I-I don't want to be this way.'

She shushed him, again leaning in for a hug as she tried to comfort him.

Draco pulled away, 'Don't touch me!'

Pansy shook her head, putting her hands up, 'I told you, I'm immune.'

'How?' was all he could ask, afraid to believe that he could really have a friend it was safe to be around when he got like this.

She shrugged awkwardly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, 'I'm asexual; I have no desires for you to manipulate.'

He stared, 'Oh'.

She hugged him then, and he let her, that tiny voice in the back of his head still whispering.

Rapist it said.

Rapist.

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'Come in Mr Black'.

Harry pushed the door open, the hinges shrieking loudly in protest as he shut it again behind him, moving in to take a seat at the table.

'Thank you for seeing me Professor' he remarked, trying to keep the nervous tone out of his voice, 'I must confess this is not about a potion.'

Snape sighed, leaning forward on the desk to steeple his fingers, 'No, I hadn't imagined it was. What is it you wanted to speak to me about?'

Harry watched him warily, an entire war going on inside of his head as he debated, right up to the last second, on whether or not he should trust this man.

Sirius trusted him a voice at the back of his mind said, and suddenly the decision was made.

'I have two…friends that are in a lot of trouble.' Harry reached into his pocket, carefully extricating the two doxies he had kept hidden there for hours, 'Can you help them?' the desperation was clear in his voice, 'Please?'

Snape stood abruptly, walking around his desk to get a closer look at the little creatures held so carefully in Harry's hands.

'These are doxies' he stated.

'Yes, I had noticed' Harry quipped, his worry getting the better of him.

Snape lifted them gently out of his hands, ignoring the tone in favour of examining the creatures, 'Then you know it would be better to ask Hagrid about these creatures, not me,' he sighed, 'but I will see what I can do. Why do they matter to you, and what caused this?' he asked as he moved back around the desk to take his usual seat.

Harry fought to find the right words, 'They're friendly, I found them at Grimmauld Place, and they stowed away in my trunk.'

'So they're pets?' Snape queried, gently prodding the little figures as he laid them out on his desk.

'No', Harry shook his head, 'Not even slightly, they're very intelligent; they're friends, not pets.'

Snape looked up at that, 'What makes you say this?'

Harry shook his head, 'It's hard to explain, they're just like tiny, mute people with four extra limbs; they're nothing like a cat or an owl.'

The professor stared at him, but nodded. 'What happened to put them in this condition?' he asked, 'They seem comatose.'

Harry lowered his eyes, 'I don't know, I just found them like that.'

Snape didn't look convinced, but he moved on, 'Do you know if anything happened to either of them in the days leading up to this? Any fights or stressful events?'

Harry thought about it for a moment, then nodded slowly, 'Flx', here he stopped to point to the smaller of the two doxies, 'He panicked and bit me a few days ago.'

One of Snape's eyebrows rose, 'You named them?'

Harry shook his head, 'No, they told me their names; spelt them out with some ink.'

As soon as he'd closed his mouth on the last word Harry knew he'd said too much; Snape was staring at him with intensity now, examining his face with sharp eyes that seemed to bore right through him.

'And this bite, did it hurt you?'

Harry frowned, 'Yeah, it hurt a lot. I passed out for several hours, but I was okay after that.'

Snape nodded, 'This is an alpha isn't it?' he said, pointing to the prone form of Mex, 'Which would make…Flx here, the beta. Alpha doxies and their partners have more potent venom than the rest. You're lucky you got off with relatively few side-effects from that bite; it should have killed you.'

Harry nodded, staring at Mex and Flx in wonder, finally understanding a little more about them.

'Then where is the coronet?' Snape asked pointedly, his eyes fixed on Harry in such a way as to send shivers running down his back.

'What sorry Professor?' he asked, still lost in though.

Snape gestured to Mex, 'If this is the alpha, it should have a coronet tied around its head; it is a symbol to doxies of all subspecies that this creature is one to be feared and obeyed, he should not be without it.'

Harry stared down at his hands, a sudden weighty feeling of love and responsibility settling around his shoulders, 'I think he lost it.'

Snape frowned, 'Highly unlikely, but I will continue on as if I don't know you're lying about something; they're going to die.

Every word of that sentence had Harry's heart clenching, the last part forcing him out of his chair, 'No! They are not going to die!'

Snape continued to sit calmly, his fingers once again steepled, elbows resting on the desk, 'They are under a spell, an intensely powerful one at that. There is no potion I can think of powerful enough to undo this kind of enchantment; it appears to be a blood oath, forged in their very bones.'

He looked up then, dark eyes fixing firmly on Harry, capturing his gaze and not letting it free, 'Only the person who did this to them can undo it, and if they don't undo it soon, these creatures will die.

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Whelp, there you go! It's literally been two years since I've properly written a story, so I don't know if I've still got 'dem skillz', but please let me know what you think!

It really was the reviews that pulled me out of my slump and back to this story, so if you want to see more please write one, and help kick my arse back into gear. :)

You've made it this far, is it really that hard to push the button?