Summary: Koko's trying to piss Natsume off. How? By hitting on Mikan. With pick-up lines. Oh God, please help us.

Dedication: Hamano-chan & Koko 'cause he's so awesome. :) He's so OOC here, haha.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.


Kokoro Yome walked around the Academy with an annoyed look on his face which was surprising to everyone, considering that he was known to always have a smile plastered on. The sixteen-year-old blond stomped to an ice cream stall, where he saw his pal, Kitsuneme. He took a seat on one of the counter seats.

"Yo," Kitsuneme greeted in between licking his ice cream cone. "What's up? You seemed pissed."

Koko pouted. "That's because I am." he pointed out. "And what's up? Two words, dude, two words. Natsume Hyuuga."

Kitsuneme stopped licking his ice cream for a while. "Natsume Hyuuga? He's not much of a threat with you, after all, you are a mind reader." But Kitsuneme just saw Koko sigh. "Woah--wait, what happened?"

"That's the thing, dude. I'm a mind reader but then I'm still powerless against him." Koko drawled, tapping his fingers on the counter. "I mean, yeah, I can read the guy's mind and all but then I can't escape his fire. Also, he's gotten stronger thus blocking me from even reading his mind, which means I practically--wait, I don't have any hope against him!"

Kitsuneme raised a brow as he licked his ice cream. "And what's your whole point in this?" he asked.

"I wanna beat him." Koko muttered. Kitsuneme froze and looked at him as if he were a mad man. "Y-You wanna w-wha--?"

"You heard me," Koko stated. "I wanna beat him. Or annoy him, at least."

"What the hell did he do?" Kitsuneme asked. "He got the latest edition of the manga I wanted, which is supposed to come out after three months!" Koko cried. "I woke up early to get to Central Town that day for that piece, you know. It's a race to buy the only piece so the time to get it was 3 AM. I woke up at 2:45."

Kitsuneme sweat dropped and was about to remark but Koko stopped him. "I got to the store at 3 but then nooo, they said that you could have just ordered the piece because it was a race to see who asks for it first in any means. They said it was in the brochure. I showed them the brochure, saying that there wasn't anything about ordering but then they moved my thumb and there it was! Now I blame Hyuuga 'cause he ordered it!!! "

He sweat dropped at his friend. "Isn't it your fault for not reading the brochure's title, then?" he pointed out.

"I DON'T READ TITLES, I READ MINDS!!!"

Kitsuneme sighed but then put a grin on his mouth. "You've come to the right person, then, mate!" he exclaimed in an Australian accent. He threw in the last part of the cone in his mouth, swallowed, and let out a big burp. Koko blinked at him. "Huh?"

"Well here's what ya gotta do," Kitsuneme started. "You've gotta use whatever you had obtained when you were able to read his mind against him." Koko raised a brow at him. "Like, a secret, maybe? His email account password? His bank account records? Things he'd done in the past? Get his crush?"

Koko's eyes lit up at the latter. "That's it!" he shouted happily. "Kitsu, you are a genius! Go get another ice cream, man, it's on me!"

Kitsuneme grinned and they both high five-d each other. The girl handed him another ice cream and he started licking it. Koko's eyes twinkled. He was so going to beat Natsume Hyuuga.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go now--I'll beat him! Bye, Kitsu!" Koko exclaimed, running from the stall.

"W-W-Wait!" Kitsuneme protested, waving his arms around. Koko saw him and grinned at him, thinking it was a 'good luck' wave. "Thanks, man! Good luck to me, too!" Koko then ran faster.

"THAT'S NOT IT!!" he shouted. "MY ICE CREAM PAYMENT--YOU FORGOT TO PAY FOR MY ICE CREAM!!"


Koko went inside the Alice library.

"ID," the robot said. Koko swiped his ID in and the door to the section for two-stars opened.

Koko entered and started searching for what he needed.

"C...Co... Aha!" he exclaimed happily, blowing off the dust from the book.

"THE ULTIMATE BOOK OF CORNY PICK-UP LINES--USE THIS TO GET THE ONE YOU LIKE" was what the title read. Koko grinned and borrowed it.

Oh good Lord, what was going to happen?


Koko opened the door, brimming with happiness. It was his third period, the same one he had with Natsume and Mikan. Well, it didn't really matter because all of his classes had the two, but it wouldn't hurt making that moment feel as if Lady Fate was being good to him, right?

He entered the classroom and instantly saw the two of them bickering, as usual.

"Evil perverted jerk!" she retorted.

"Freak who wears polka-dotted underwear."

"Meanie!"

"Childish."

"Rude!"

"Annoying."

"I am not annoying!" Mikan defended. Natsume raised a brow. "All those in favour of the idiot being annoying, raise your hand." Practically every one in the class except for Yuu and Ruka had raised their hands. "HOTARUUUUU!" Mikan cried. "HOW COULD YOU, HOTARU?!"

"I rephrase that," Natsume remarked. "Utterly annoying." Their hands were still raised, except Hotaru even programmed her inventions to raise their hands.

"MEANIE!" she cried. Some of them chuckled at her innocence.

She pouted and trudged to the seat beside Koko. "Hey Koko-kun, is it all right if I sit here?"

Koko's face lit up. Lady Fate was being good to him!! "Sure!" Mikan smiled and sat beside him.

He then subtly opened the book, reading a random line and then closing it.

"Can I have your picture?" he asked. She blinked at him. "Okay, but what do you need it for?"

"I wanna show Santa Claus what I want for Christmas."

Her eyes sparkled. "YOU KNOW SANTA CLAUS?!" she squealed in happiness. Koko blinked at her oddly but then shook it off because he knew her innocence. He'd just pick another line. "Uhhh... Forget it." he told her. "Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag." he told her.

"Why?" she asks. "Isn't that called kidnapping?"

"Because I asked Santa Claus to give you to me for Christmas." he answered, smirking. He was sooo going to get her.

"B-But I thought you didn't know Santa Claus!" she cried. Or not. He slapped his forehead and noted not to use any more Santa Claus lines.

"What's wrong? You look sad and gloomy," Koko comforted. Mikan nodded and he knew it was because she thought he knew Santa Claus. "What you need is vitamin ME." He winked.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the tip," Mikan thanked. "I'll buy it later."

"H-Hey, no, uhhh..." he stuttered. "You know, never mind. That vitamin wasn't really good in the first place."

Mikan nodded and thanked him once more. "How would you arrange the alphabet if you could rearrange it?" Koko asked.

"I dunno," Mikan replied. "I don't think I'd rearrange it. Poor other souls.. they'd have to memorize it again," Koko smiled at her innocence. "Well if I could, I'd put U and I together." YES, IT'S GOING TO WORK!!!!

"U and I, huh?" Mikan asked, putting a finger on her chin. "That'd be funny. 'cause it's it's supposed to be u then v then w, like a transformation or something, but then with the letter I--"

"I was kidding!" he squeaked. "Is your dad a terrorist? 'cause you are the bomb!"

"Aren't bombs bad? Wait, I'm a bad person??" she cried, making Koko sweat. "N-No, of course not! I didn't say bomb.. I said, uhh, flower, yes, flower!" Mikan stared at him. "But what was with the flowers and terrorists--" "You heard wrong, I said--uhh--florist, there, florist. Not terrorist but florist," Koko jabbered. Phew, that was close! "See, is your dad a florist 'cause you are the...flower." The blood in Koko's head drained at the last thing he said. "You know what, let's just pretend I never said anything."

"Said anything about what?" Mikan asked, making Koko sweat drop. "Uh, nothing."

This is awfully hard, Koko thought. I have to think of something quick! In desparation, he opened a random page and picked the first thing he saw. "Your name must be Mickey, 'cause you're so fine," he blurted out. I did it, I did it!!

But Mikan blinked at him weirdly. "But my name is Mikan," she reminded. He froze. Fudge, her name is Mikan!

"Anyway, Koko, I'm gonna go now. Math's next," she droned. "Bye!"

"WAIT!" he cried out desperately. Just... one... more... chance!! "I'm a Math teacher. One plus two equals me and you!!!"

She looked at him weirdly. "I thought one plus two equalled to three."

His jaw dropped. "Yes, Miss Sakura, one plus two is three." Mr. Jinno said, entering the classroom. "As for you, Mister Yome, who does not know what that is, detention for two hours after dismissal."

Koko sadly nodded, plopping on his seat. That was a failure.


"Bye, Koko-kun!" Mikan waved off. She then looked back. "Anyway, I'll be waiting outside, Hyuuga. Bye again, Koko-kun! "

Koko waved at her and she exited.

"That's too bad," Natsume commented. "Your lines would've worked."

"What lines?" Koko asked, his eyes wandering off to a far far land.

"Your weird corny pick up lines," he pointed out. "Except, you made the same mistake as you did with the manga."

"What?" Koko spat, confirming the pick up lines, making Natsume smirk. "Look for yourself, look at the cover."

Koko took out the book and put it on the table. "See, look: THE ULTIMATE BOOK OF CORNY PICK-UP LINES--USE THIS TO GET THE ONE YOU LIKE. Hah, nothing wrong with that."

Natsume rolled his eyes. "Yome, remove your thumb." Koko took it off and gasped in horror.

"HYUUUGA! What's taking you so looooong?" Mikan singsonged outside.

"You should learn to read titles next time, Yome." Natsume remarked, picking his bag up. He was about to leave until he paused. "Oh yeah," he started. He snapped his finger and Koko's sleeve caught fire. "That's for a while ago. Ja." He left.

Oh great, now Koko was left to wait for two hours, doing absolutely nothing, and he was on fire. Literally.

Also, Koko now had a problem with reading because of his stupid thumb that covered words. He learned one, never to blame Natsume Hyuuga for your thumb's wrong doing and two, not to mess with Natsume Hyuuga.

He sighed, eyeing the book on the table.

"THE ULTIMATE BOOK OF CORNY PICK-UP LINES--USE THIS TO GET THE ONE YOU LIKE AND FAIL"


I know, I FAIL AT HUMOUR. Also, I haven't updated in the loooongest time. It's good to update, I love GAFFN. :) I hope you liked it. :D

Oh yeah, I edited this.. Added a punctuation mark and changed a pick-up line 'cause the other one didn't make sense. :)

Btw, see an error? This hasn't been beta-d, so please tell me. Thanks.