Disclaimer: Really now, if I owned it do you think Naruto would have stopped using his hate.

Talking: "Total slaughter, total slaughter"

Thinking: 'I won't leave a single man alive'

It was a beautiful day in the Hidden Leaf, and the most beautiful girl in the whole village (at least in her own mind) was headed towards her team meeting with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. You may ask just what had put this girl in such a great mood. The answer is this, she had managed to become the first ninja in her family, was on the same team as her crush, Uchiha Sasuke, and that damn orange pest had finally stopped bugging her for a date. Yes, everything was going fine for Haruno Sakura on this day. Things were so good for her that she didn't even mind having to wait the usual three hours for her idiot, pervert sensei to show up. Not that she would ever say that out loud. No, that would be very unladylike, and she had to show her beloved Sasuke that she could be a perfect lady, one worthy of being the matriarch of the reborn Uchiha clan.1

Moving along, and out of this psycho-bitch's mind, Sakura was drawing close to the bridge her team always met at, planning just how she was going to get Sasuke's attention today, when she saw something that made her stop dead in her tracks. The thing was a person, a ninja if the kunai holster strapped to the thigh of his black pants were anything to go by, lying on his back on one of the bridge's rails, reading a small book he held in one hand. What stopped Sakura in her tracks, though, were his looks. He was tall, at least from her perspective, and looked a bit older than her. His hair was long and wild, his eyes fierce, his face sharp and aristocratic, the markings on his cheeks giving it a rugged, animalistic air.2 Shaking her head to remove her blasphemous questioning of Sasuke being the end all be all of hotness, Sakura walked up to the stranger to ask him to leave, politely of course.

"Excuse me, um, I'm sorry but this place is kind of reserved." When this managed to produce nothing from the stranger, she tried again. "Um, my team meets here about now to receive our orders from our sensei so ah…" she trailed off as the boy turned to give her a blank stare before returning to his book. Losing her patience a bit, Sakura tried once more, "Listen sir, this is my team's spot so if you'd…"

"I'm well aware that this is where we meet, Sakura." Hearing the stranger use her name gave Sakura pause, and as she looked at him, the color of his hair and eyes finally managed to register.

"N-naruto? Is that you? No, no way, you can't be Naruto; I mean your tall, and not wearing orange, and handsome." As soon as she said that, her eyes widened in horror. 'Damn it, now he'll probably ask me to marry him, and he had just stopped asking me out too.' Surprisingly, to Sakura anyway, she got no reaction at all from her blond teammate, save him turning a page in his book. This was enough to crash her OS once again, and she remained there, staring openmouthed at the herald of the apocalypse3 until Sasuke arrived.

The Uchiha took a moment to survey the situation before saying, "What the hell have you done to yourself, Dobe?"

Shifting an eye towards the Uchiha he said, "No idea, I collapsed on Friday, spent Saturday writhing in pain, and woke up yesterday looking like this. Far as I can tell, it's some kind of Kekkei Genkai, probably some bastardization of the Inuzuka bloodline."

The Uchiha took all this in, as well as the calm voice it was delivered in, and gave a simple nod and took his usual place leaning against the rail opposite Naruto. Throughout all of this, Sakura just continued to look from one teammate to the other. They remained in these positions for the two hours it took for Kakashi to arrive.

Looking around at his genin, the legendary Copy-nin could think of only one thing to say. "Okay guys, I think we need to have a little Q&A session before we begin today. First of all, what happened to Naruto?"

The blonde closed his book and with a put upon sigh that would have made Shikamaru proud, if such feelings weren't too troublesome to bother with anyway, replied, "Seems like I have a bloodline that decided to activate over the weekend. I've got the senses to go along with the animal look and my healing has shot through the roof. I think it's some kind of bastardized version of the Inuzuka bloodline, except I think my traits are from a fox since I'm slimmer than they usually are and I've been craving chicken since Suday.4"

Catching the hint and not liking where things were going, the scarecrow continued, "Alright, that's at least your new looks explained, so what's with the new clothes Naruto?"

Smirking, the blonde said, "You know I could be a real asshole right here and mention my new measurements but I'm not. I didn't have much to do on Saturday except lay on the ground and wish I was dead, so I ended up thinking about a lot of things and I came to the realization that really loud ninjas, wearing really bright colors, tend to end up really dead, really fast. Add to that the fact that I don't feel like I've got so much energy bottled up in me I'm going to explode anymore and you end up with a rather calm person."

As his blonde student spoke, Kakashi made sure to hold his gaze and he couldn't find any lies, nor did it seem like the blonde was being controlled. When all this came together and the jonin realized that another of his students had decided to take being a ninja seriously, he nearly broke out into a rendition of the happy dance. Fortunately he restrained himself, for dancing in public could be interpreted as being "youthful" and then Gai would never again shut the fuck up. So, while resolving in his head to get shit faced and pick up a pretty little chunin tonight, the overjoyed sensei continued his questioning. "Alright then, just remember that you can always come to me if you need some advice or guidance.5 By the way, what exactly are you reading there?"

Blinking, the young shinobi held up the book in question and said, "What this? This is just a basic primer on how to make and use poisons and how to develop immunities to them."

'Jackpot! He's actually showing initiative and practicality! I knew leaving him to his own devices would make him learn how to teach himself, but I thought I'd have to beat the worth of the basics into his brain with a damn boulder.6 That's genius 77, world 10.'7 What Kakashi actually said was, "Hmm, that's always useful for a ninja to know, just don't forget to build up an immunity to the recreational stuff like hallucinogens.8 You wouldn't believe how hard it is to fight an opponent who can't decide between being a purple dragon on roller skates and a demonic bunny-man.9" His students now sporting that "what the fuck" look he loved so much, he decided to wrap up the questioning and get on to today's training. "Alright now guys, time to fess up. Which one of you broke Sakura?"

Now some of you might be wondering just how the hell Naruto, having acquired so many techniques and manuals was able to content himself with just one. The answer is that he was not and would have gone homicidal if he had been deprived of all the opportunities to grow stronger those scrolls and manuals provided him for even a second. This is why a small army of clones had been practicing a good portion of them since shortly after Naruto left his apartment this morning. Unfortunately for the young ninja, most of the jutsu in the Forbidden Scroll were in there for moral reasons, mainly those involving respecting other people's souls and not making people's blood turn into a rather slow acting acid. A few however, were there only because they endangered the user's life, and hell what's life without some risk, right? This is why one group of clones was off to one side of the field the Naruto's had commandeered trying to hit ten targets with a single shuriken and liberal use of the Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, which was only slightly less draining than the original, and then only due to the difference in mass between humans and shuriken. The technique itself had taken about an hour for the first clone to perform, but after a further three the high score was still only seven targets, and that had not yet been duplicated.

In another part of the field, a single clone was busy making more clones and then making them explode. Bunshin Daibakuha had been ridiculously easy to pull off, possibly because of the naturally destructive nature of the youki in Naruto's system. This was lent credence when after achieving the optimal chakra to force conversion the jutsu was capable of the clone had continued to send his copies out to make more craters in the once pristine field, especially since the original clone felt every single explosion.

Past the edge of the field in the forest, another Naruto was working on a technique that was banned for political reasons. The technique was basically a rip off of the Jyuken, and not a very good one at that. The whole of the technique was simply shooting a spike of concentrated chakra out of the palm of a person's hand, resulting in basic kinetic force. The technique was fairly useless as you had to be holding on to whatever you were attacking or have it pinned to something for the attack to amount to anything more than a hard push. The Hyuuga, however, had never been told that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or were possibly embarrassed at how worthless the attack was, no one's sure, and had demanded it be forbidden before the creator had even managed to name it. Naruto was learning it simply because he thought it would be badass as hell to grab someone by the head and then blow the back out of it.10

Back in the field proper, a group of Naruto's had finished with the tree climbing exercise and had split in half, one group heading to a nearby stream to begin the water walking exercise while those that remained each picked up a leaf and began training the blonde's newly discovered wind affinity. The final group of Naruto's was studying the basics of seals, creating storage scrolls and paper bombs. And setting off a lot of those paper bombs, accompanied by a great deal of maniacal laughter.

The clones worked tirelessly, training until they're chakra ran dry or the stress of the training was enough to disperse them. They were joined by the original after a surprisingly good training session, the tree walking exercise, and another shitty D rank mission, catch the damn daimyo's damn wife's damn cat while his lazy damn teammates sat on their damn asses. Once he reached the field, he refreshed the ranks of clones with enough left over for him to have a battle royale to vent his frustrations and loosen up, followed by tai and kenjutsu katas, wrapping up with a review of the techniques his clones had learned once he dispersed them.

Due to the wonders of shadow clones, this training regiment managed to last for a week before Naruto was down to wind manipulation and clone free for alls. The lives of many clones were lost. They were then immediately replaced and promptly blown up to a chorus of mad cackling. This of course led to one of the most frightening things possible occurring. A bored Uzumaki Naruto began experimenting with his techniques and the rather large stockpile of explosive tags he had made. This led to the wondrous discoveries that Bunshin Daibakuha did in fact work with Shuriken Kage Bunshin, that a paper bomb folded into a paper shuriken and charged with wind chakra could sink itself into a tree and still detonate, and that with enough youki, Naruto was capable of regrowing a limb, almost instantaneously if he used enough. The last one was discovered at the same time as the maximum amount of wind chakra Naruto could enhance his claws with.

Now though, Naruto was fresh out of ideas. While his taijutsu skill was fast approaching parity with Sasuke's, his ability with a sword seemed to have stalled just before it would be a useful skill in battle. This was mainly because he had no real style and had been unable to find one at Soujiro's that would fit him. He had been trying to adapt his taijutsu style to using a sword but progress was slow and not really something you could throw a lot of kage bunshin at and be done with after an hour. His wind manipulation training was also slowly grinding to a halt, mainly because he had gone as far as possible with what training techniques he had. He had no futon jutsu, and Soujiro didn't know how or carry a book on creating jutsu from scratch, nor did the old smith have anything on pushing an alignment to the point of pure seal less jutsu. Heck, as a civilian, the old man wasn't even allowed to carry any actual jutsu scrolls, only styles and manuals. Really the only place you could find anything other than a few D rank and underpowered C rank jutsu was the Shinobi Library, a different place entirely from the public library the book that started all of this came from.

The Shinobi Library was the repository of all the jutsu donated by ninja to the village.11 It contained countless techniques ranging from the most meager D ranks to even a few S ranks left by those grizzled old farts who'd been too busy killing and learning how to do it better than anyone else to have a family or pick up an apprentice. It was of course restricted to only those of chunin rank or higher, and Naruto wasn't about to reveal all his extra training to Kakashi, mainly for fear of waking up an orange loving dobe again after an evening spent with a Yamanaka. So his progress had stalled, leaving him with two cloning techniques, a method to make those clones explode, an awesome looking but mostly useless execution technique, a lifetime supply of paper bombs and storage scrolls, above average chakra control, the ability to form wind chakra and use it to sharpen anything to the point where paper pierced wood and his claws and steel could pass through stone like water, and a skill in taijutsu that would let him kick the ass of most ordinary chunin.

Unfortunately, he did not have any real measuring stick to go by so he wasn't really aware of just how ridiculously overpowered he was getting in comparison to the usual rank and file shinobi. All he knew was that he had taijutsu skills nearly on par with the rookie of the year, emphasis on rookie, had mastered the basic chakra control exercises that everyone knew, and could use wind manipulation to make stuff sharp. The last was the most disappointing, mainly because he had hoped to be able to form a hundred blades of wind to slice up his enemies at will after reading about the capabilities of his element. Unfortunately, he later discovered it took a master to be able to form even a rudimentary shape without something to form it over. Fortunately for our young protagonist, and the plot in general, that was the exact train of thought he needed to be on. As lightning rent the suddenly stormy sky and wolves howled in the distance, an evil smile to make the devil proud slowly… you know what, I think you've got the picture and if you don't then the boy's just had an idea.12

In the Gilgamesh Armory, the proprietor was in the back of his shop working on a custom order that had been on the books for nearly a month. It pained Soujiro to admit it but he was really starting to feel his age, especially since his granddaughter had graduated from the academy last year and had been too busy to help around the shop much anymore. 'That reminds me, I've got to remember to warn her about Naruto, wouldn't do at all to have her piss him off and get her damn fool self killed. On second thought, better ask Naruto to spare her, knowing her she'd challenge him to a fight just to prove she isn't one of those little, oh what'd she call 'em, fan-girl ninjas. Poor lass, one day she's gonna have to realize that she's gonna have to diversify to survive in this world. As nice as it is to see her appreciate my work, I don't want her to die just because she thinks it's the end all be all of the shinobi arts to be able to hit ten of ten targets at fifty yards with anything with an edge to it. Maybe I should have the boyo meet up with her. It'd do her good to see what an army of assassins is capable of, especially when they're all hopped up on youki.

Ever hear that phrase speak of the devil? Well thinking of them and half-demons both count, which is part of the reason why Soujiro heard the bell on his shop door ringing followed by a call of, "Hey Soujiro, you in here old man?"

Shouting back a quick, "Just a sec, boyo," the old smith went back to work on the much delayed order. After a few minutes, he had finished the weapon itself and set it aside for later decoration. Taking off his soot stained apron, the old man walked out of his forge into the store front to greet his favorite customer. "So boyo, what'll it be today? Come for some more books or have you already run through your supplies again?"

Naruto merely shook his head, and with a look of utmost seriousness said, "I've come for a chakra weapon."

As soon as he said it, the boy braced himself. He expected an uphill battle to convince the old man to make him a weapon, and right now he was getting ready to either be laughed at or run out of the store by a hail of stabbity death. This is why his friends answer caught him completely off guard. "Alright then boyo, just tell me what you want the thing to do, and I'll tell you what I can get it to do. I'll warn you now though, there's about a month's waiting list at the moment and these things don't come cheap either, and I've got to make a living, friend or no friend."

Still somewhat stunned, the young shinobi still managed to put forth the plan he had concocted on the way over. "Actually, I had been hoping to help around the shop to pay for it, you know like store credit."

The old man considered the teenager in front of him and his proposal. There really was no reason not to take the deal. With the way the boy threw kage bunshin around he could have someone working the shop around the clock, and it would free him up to work exclusively in the forge. The only thing to decide would be the length of time he'd make the boyo work for whatever weapon he wanted. "Alright then boyo, that sounds fair, now tell me what you want and we'll figure out just how long you'll have to work for it."

Still rather stunned at how well this had went, the boy told the smith what he was looking for and quickly agreed to sending a handful of kage bunshin to serve as stock boys and cashiers every day for two weeks as payment. Once the business was settled, Soujiro remembered his earlier musings and decided to broach the subject to the young demon container in front of him. "Say boyo, would you be willing to help me with a bit of a problem I've noticed recently?"

Looking up at his friend, the younger of the two replied, "Sure Soujiro, what kind of problem is it?"

"Well, you see boyo, I have a granddaughter," the revealed grandpa explained. "Her parents were merchants, traveled all around the Elemental Countries in a caravan with a bunch of other merchants. Unfortunately, the men in charge of the caravan were greedy bastards and refused to hire proper guards, which led to most of the caravan being wiped out in a bandit attack. Some of the few to survive were my granddaughter and a friend of her parents who brought her back here to me. I've raised the girl for all her life that she can remember and it shows. She's a bit of a tomboy, and she developed a love of good steel when she was very young. That's why she decided when she joined the academy that she was going to be a weapons mistress. Unfortunately, that's all she'll train with, hell her taijutsu is still shit and she's been on the same team as a Hyuuga and a boy who's only able to use taijutsu with Konoha's premier taijutsu master as a sensei for over a year now."

Blinking a bit from the sudden rush of new info, the blonde could only think of one thing to say. "So what exactly do you want me to do about it?"

"Well boyo, the girl only uses weapons, and she only knows how to throw them for the most part as well, and you happen to regenerate and use a great deal of ninjutsu, taijutsu, and old school dirty tricks, things I want my girl to learn the worth of. She's over confident because she's never fought any other ninja's outside of her teammates and only has the little bimbos who get into this game to bag one of those bishonen geniuses that we get every few years to compare herself to. I need you to show her just how stupid it is to have only one skill and just what a jack of all trades can pull off. I'd also like you to take a couple of hits to show her what happens to over specialized ninja when they get a bad match-up. The only question is just how good is your regeneration?"

Grinning that madman's grin he'd recently developed, the blond took a kunai out of the pouch on his belt, and stabbed it through his left hand. Before Soujiro could move to help, Naruto raised his hand in front of the left side of his face, the boy's eye visible through the hole, and the old man watched as the flesh and bone quickly knitted back together, leaving behind unblemished flesh just a few moments later. Whistling, the old smith said, "Well then, I guess we know just how many hits you're gonna be takin'."

A little while later, we find the young shinobi walking towards the training grounds frequented by Team Gai. After seeing his regeneration, Soujiro had asked Naruto not only beat Tenten, but that he do it after taking everything she could possibly throw at him. Other than that, he had carte blanche to school the girl however he wanted to. He had yet to stop grinning and had he passed a mirror, he would have been surprised to see how much it resembled the Kyuubi's at this point. Actually, he probably would have started laughing like a loon and been in an even better mood if he knew of the similarity and probably would have gone out of his way to increase it. You know, it's probably a good thing he hadn't passed a mirror.

As our developing psycho reached the edge of the field, he stopped to take stock of the genin and their sensei currently using it. In the center of the field, two green blurs were clashing and separating in what Naruto guessed was a heated taijutsu spar. During the brief pauses that sometimes followed these clashes, he was able to make out a man with a bowl-cut and ridiculously huge eyebrows, wearing a full-body green spandex suit, along with a chunin vest and orange leg warmers, his hitaite was worn as a belt, and a boy about his age that was basically a clone of the older man, minus the vest. These he assumed were Tenten's sensei, Maito Gai, and his protégé, Rock Lee. On the far edge of the field sat another boy watching his sensei and teammate spar, this one wearing a grey jacket and black shorts, his black hair, worn long, and his white eyes, the Byakugan, marked him as a Hyuuga, which meant he was Tenten's teammate Neji. And finally, there was the girl herself, hair in buns, wearing a pink sleeveless blouse and blue pants, practicing her aim on a set of targets near where Naruto watched.

Target in sight, Naruto stepped out into the open and called out to his friend's granddaughter, "Hey, your name is Tenten, right?"

Broken from her concentration on her nth shot of the day, the weapons mistress turned to regard the unknown blonde approaching her. She tensed up, ready to put the kunai in her hand in his head, and checked to make sure her teammates were making their way over. Seeing they were, she turned and challenged the blonde with, "What's it to you blondie?"

She had meant to piss him off. Hell, Naruto was wondering why he wasn't at least a little perturbed, but the truth was the honest bravado from a ninja he knew to be weaker than him only served to amuse him. So it was with a smile even bigger than the one he'd worn on the trip to the training ground that he replied, "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I have come here as a favor to your grandfather. He has asked me to deliver a message whose meaning he felt he would be unable to adequately impress upon you."13

"Yosh, how youthful to see a young ninja helping both the elderly and his comrade! I, Maito Gai, the Green Beast of Konoha, commend you young Naruto! Ah but I have forgotten my manners, allow me to introduce my youthful students. You already know the lovely flower of our team, so allow me to introduce my other youthful students, the hardworking Rock Lee," he gestured to his clone on his right, "and the genius of our team, Hyuuga Neji," this time he gestured to the clearly annoyed bishonen on his left. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are the student of my Eternal Rival Hatake Kakashi, are you not?"

Caught a bit flat footed by the outburst from the asylum escapee in front of him, it took him a moment to respond, which gave him the time needed to process the title given to his sensei. Hating himself for it, he still asked, "Eternal Rival?"

Teary eyed, the jolly green giant turned his head to the sky, raised his fist to the heavens and declared, "Curse your hip ways Kakashi! You act so cool that you haven't even revealed the identity of your eternal rival to your own student!" Turning back to Naruto, he explained, "Yes young Naruto, Kakashi and I are Eternal Rivals, we compete in all things, both ninja and otherwise. Currently the scare is 47 to 46 in my favor."

Upon learning this Naruto couldn't help but think, 'I can't believe Kakashi actually tried hard enough to beat this guy that many times.' What he said was, "I'm sure Kakashi would have mentioned you sooner or later, my team was only formed a few weeks ago. Anyway, if you don't mind, there's still that message I need to deliver." He winced a little bit at the bluntness and hoped he hadn't pissed off the jonin capable of kicking his ass to Cloud and back again.

Gai of course, being Gai didn't even recognize that what Naruto had said could even be considered rude. Striking yet another pose, he grandly gestured at Tenten and said, "Of course young Naruto, I will not hinder your quest to deliver the sage advice of the Master Smith Soujiro to the youthful Tenten."14

Tenten, feeling a bit put out at being spoken of like she wasn't there when the message was for her, chose this moment to but in. "So exactly what is this message you have for me?" She began to worry that that might not have been the best thing to say when the feral grin returned to the blonde's face.

Turning back towards her, the young shinobi explained, "Well you see, I can't just tell you this message, there is a demonstration that goes along with it. For you to truly understand your grandfather's advice, you're going to have to fight me."

Smirking a little, Tenten couldn't help but taunt, "And what exactly am I going to learn from some kid who's fresh out of the academy. I doubt you've even left the village on a mission yet. Sorry but I'm not interested."

She had expected him to get angry or start whining or just leave or something, but what she hadn't expected him to start chuckling like the bad guy in an action movie. Looking her in the eye, the blonde managed to stop his chuckling to say, "Sorry but that's not an option. I owe your grandfather too much to not make sure you got the message. So if you're not interested in fighting me, I'll just have to liven things up a bit then won't I?"

Tenten was about to ask what he was talking about when he suddenly lunged at her with a knife hand thrust. Caught off guard the only thing she could manage was to jump back towards the training logs, but before she could get her bearings, he was upon her again with another thrust. She rolled to the side and heard the sound of breaking wood. As she came out of her roll, she looked back toward the crazed blonde and couldn't help but to gape in awe at the hand he had tried to strike her with. At least she tried to look at it, but that was a bit difficult as it was buried to the wrist in the hardwood log she had been standing in front of.

Naruto, still wearing that crazed grin of his, kicked the log half-way up its length, breaking it, and then flung the top towards the stunned girl to his right. The sight of the impromptu projectile was enough to snap Tenten out of her daze as she once again leapt back and away from the log. Deciding to give her a minute to get situated, Naruto called out to the girl, "So tell me hun, you interested now. And by the way, you should know I'm actually a year older than you, so you might want to learn to mind your mouth around your elders little girl."

That was enough to get Tenten ready to start fighting for real. Snarling at the blonde bastard in front of her, she began tossing a barrage of kunai and shuriken at his head, in hopes of wiping that damn smile off his face. Unfortunately for her, our favorite psycho was not only able to parry every single projectile, he was also going out of his way to cut them in half, further infuriating the weapons mistress.

That was the last straw, the bastard had the gall to destroy her weapons and he was gonna die. Taking a scroll in hand, she unfurled it around her and began unsealing a rain of stabbity death she then directed at the bastard who would dare hurt her beloved weapons. As the wave of kunai, shuriken, kama, and various other sundry edged weapons came flying towards him, the jinchuriki merely shook his head a bit and put his kunai back in the case strapped to his thigh. He made no move to dodge, and even put his arms out in a welcoming gesture as the wall of steel connected with his flesh.

Tenten was once more staring in shock, but this was quickly fading into disgust at the fact she had just killed a person, a fellow Leaf ninja at that. There was no way he could not be dead, his body was riddled with blades and there was a hatchet imbedded right in between his eyes. The girl's disgust abruptly returned to shock when the presumed corpse began chuckling. Then it just flexed, and with a slight burst of chakra, the various weapons were out of its body and littering the ground around it, save for the hatchet, which it reached up and casually pulled out of its head, like it wasn't a mortal wound. The fact that it wasn't was driven home when the very much alive teen in front of her chuckled again and said, "Nice try sweetie, now let me show you how it's supposed to be done." With that, the blonde flipped the hand axe into the air, ran through a quick series of seals just in time to catch the hatchet and throw it with a cry of "Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu" turning the single axe into a cloud of twenty.

This did little to intimidate Tenten, especially after she noticed there were only three axes that even had a chance of hitting her. As she dodged the first one and was preparing to dodge the second, she happened to look over at the blonde and noticed he had formed another seal. Then she heard him yell "Bunshin Daibakuha" and was immediately assaulted by a since of pain and vertigo from the explosion that sent her flying. As she saw the ground coming, her training kicked in, and she curled into a ball to roll off her momentum. Coming back up to her feet, she turned back to where her opponent had been just in time to see his clawed hand grab her face. Feeling a building warmth in his palm she quickly used a kawarimi to escape.

Naruto sensed the girl preparing to substitute her self and went ahead with his execution attack. The chakra spike lanced out and blew a hole the size of an orange into the broken training log from earlier. Looking around and seeing that his opponent had gone into hiding, he lifted his nose in the air and took a few sniffs. Picking up her scent, he took a brace of his paper bomb shuriken out of the holster on his left thigh and threw them at Tenten's hiding place without even looking. Then he brought his left hand into a seal and said, "Boom".

Meanwhile, Tenten had been looking on in horror at what her opponent's last attack had done to a log she had seen survive her sensei's attacks. Her moment of terror was broken when she saw the crazy blonde flick his wrist in her direction, followed by the sound of kunai hitting the trees around her. She was on her feet and about to move deeper into the woods when she was once again sent through the air by an explosion. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to control her landing this time, and ended up skipping across the ground a few times before coming to a stop. As she slowly stood up on unsteady legs, she saw the psycho her grandfather had sicced on her standing barley twenty feet away, arms crossed over his chest.

Naruto, smiling wider than ever, decided it was time to end the girl's lesson. Spreading his arms wide he declared, "This has been fun sugar, but I think it's about time we ended this. However, I'm the sporting sort, so I'm gonna let you have one last shot. Hit me with your strongest attack, hold nothing back. Because after that, I'm gonna stop fooling around and finish this."

Tenten was scared. Tenten was terrified. Tenten was only a few seconds away from wetting herself. Despite that, she stood before this monster her grandpa must have summoned from hell and prepared her strongest attack. She took out the two scrolls and placed them on the ground next to her. Running through the seals, she cried out "Soushoryu" as the battlefield was briefly covered with smoke. As the twin dragons formed from the smoke and rose spiraling into the air Tenten jumped between them. As the dragons dissipated, revealing the scrolls, she began throwing everything she had at the blonde demon with the kind of strength one can only gain with the knowledge that their life is about to come to an abrupt and painful end. Kunai, shuriken, kama, katana, yari, swords and knives both domestic and foreign, hell even a damn tetsubo went screaming threw the air towards the waiting shinobi. She couldn't see him due to the smoke from her attack, but she remembered where he was and prayed to any god that would hear her that she did enough damage to finally put him down.

Finally, she ran out of weapons, and dropped to the ground, waiting to see the outcome of her attack. When her opponent came into view, she could only think, 'Looks like I did remember right where he was.' His body was covered in weapons. The only places a weapon wasn't embedded were the numerous gashes that covered his body. Blood loss aside, she could see three fatal wounds, a kama in the thing's neck, a knife in both eyes, and a spear that had pierced right through the monster's heart. Tenten breathed a sigh of relief and was about to start picking up her weapons when she heard a sound that almost made her break down crying. It was a low, gurgling sound not immediately identifiable as laughter, save for the fact that its source was immediately identifiable.

The thing continued laughing as it ripped the kama out the side of its neck, spraying the grass with even more of its blood, even as the wound began to heal. Once its throat had healed, it looked at her with its stabbed out eyes and began commenting on her attack. "A nice try with the kama sweetie, but my bones are too strong for plain steel to cut, and blood loss doesn't really affect me. The eyes though, were a good try, always a good idea to blind someone. Unfortunately, they're too small to do any real damage to my brain. And of course," it began as it reached up and yanked the knives and its own eyes out, "there's no real use in blinding someone who regenerates," it lectured as it opened its eyes to reveal not empty sockets but the same pair of blue eyes it had just pulled from its skull. "This however," it said s it grabbed the spear in its chest, "was completely useless." It accentuated this by pulling out the spear, reopening the wound that had already healed around the shaft. "I will admit that aiming for the heart is generally a good strategy, but really now honey," it questioned with a smirk, "when have you ever heard of a monster that actually needed a heart." With that said, the self proclaimed monster wound back and threw the spear back at the horrified Tenten.

The speed of it was almost too much, but she still managed to barely dodge to the side, going into a roll. Coming up, she looked to her opponent to see the spear… 'Shit,' was the only thought she had time for as she whirled around to the sight of an oncoming fist. The punch knocked her off her feet and across the field. Rolling up on to her feet, she took a stance that her opponent flowed around effortlessly, and commenced with what can only be called an ass-wuppin'.

'Soujiro was right, she's barely any better than most of the kids at the academy,' was the only thought on Naruto's mind as he beat the shit out of his friend's granddaughter. He was a bit worried that he'd gone kind of over the top with his performance but he quickly rationalized it away. 'The more traumatic this is, the better the lesson will stick. Not to mention that bet me and Soujiro made.' In case you're wondering, Naruto bet Soujiro a week of work around the shop that he would either make Tenten afraid of the dark or make it so she started sleeping with a stuffed animal again.15 'That'll teach that old man to doubt just how scary I can be.' Feeling that the lesson was done, and that the girl's ribs were about to give, Naruto sweeped her off her feet and then grabbed her by the face before slamming her into the ground.

While she was still dazed, Naruto quickly knelt down on top of the girl's arm, preventing another kawarimi, and charged up his execution move. Leaning over her face, and noting the fear in her eyes between his fingers, the blonde told her, "It's over. Now it's time I delivered my message, so listen closely little girl. The reason you lost today, is not because I am strong, but because you are weak. The reason you are weak, is because you rely solely on those weapons of yours. Anyone faster than you, anyone skilled in the use of futon, doton, or even suiton jutsu, or anyone who can regenerate like me will be able to kill you without breaking a sweat. If you are set on being a kunoichi, and you wish to live for long in this world, then you must diversify. Learn some ninjutsu or genjutsu, improve your taijutsu, learn to use some of those melee weapons you were chucking at me for actual melee, I don't care. Hell, you'd be a hundred times more deadly if you would poison your weapons and use some exploding tags. Whatever you do, you must at least pick something, because you won't always have those teammates of yours to hold your enemies back while you pick them off one at a time." Message delivered, the young shinobi released his grip on the girl's face, rose, and turned to leave.

The solemnity and badassness of the moment was ruined however when Gai burst into tears and began sobbing, "I have failed you Tenten. In my quest to aid the youthful Lee in fulfilling his dream, I have let your training fall to the wayside. I swear, from this day forth, I shall do all in my power to help you become a strong kunoichi. Though my vow to Lee prevents me from teaching you ninjutsu I will"

"Wait, Gai-sensei," interrupted Lee. "It would be most unyouthful of me to hold you to your vow if it would mean that one of my teammates would be hurt because they lacked a technique you could have taught them. I would be unable to live with myself if such a thing was to occur. So please, forget your promise to me, and teach Tenten and Neji all that you know of ninjutsu and genjutsu."

Fresh tears streaming down his face, Gai turned to his pupil and said, "Oh, Lee!"

Equally teary eyed, Lee returned, "Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

And with that, the two met in a manly embrace, while waves crashed on the beach and the sun set in the distance. It took a moment for Naruto to remember that he had just been in a forest clearing, and another minute of attempting to dispel whatever genjutsu he was under before finally he broke down and asked the still crying duo, "How the hell are you guys doing that?"

Breaking their hug and the illusion, Gai looked at the teen and said, "You mean the Manly Sunset of Youth16? That is merely the result of people's brains trying to interpret the youthfulness that Lee and I give off when we embrace. Such is the passion of the fires of our youth that it tricks the mind into seeing us against a more youthful setting than what is actually around us!"

Many people, including Kurenai Yuuhi and the third Hokage, had heard this explanation and written it off as Gai having stumbled across something interesting and attributing it to youthfulness. Naruto, however, by virtue of being just a tad insane, actually listened and noticed something no one else ever had. "So it works kind of like killing intent, but instead of directing it, you just super saturate the area immediately around you?"

Somewhat surprised that someone had finally gotten it, Gai said, "Y-yes, of course the amount needed is very great, to the point where it takes the entirety of both my and Lee's youthfulness to accomplish it."

With a thoughtful look on his face, Naruto further questioned, "The way you were talking, you guys can't actually see the illusion, can you?"

"No, since it is our own youthfulness producing it, we are not affected," was Gai's response.

Now smirking once again, the blonde then requested, "Would you mind if I tried it and could you tell me if I pull it off?"

Beaming, Gai was quick to reply, "Certainly, Naruto, you're more than welcomed to attempt it, but just do not let disappointment dampen the fires of your …"

Gai was interrupted, however, by the sun choosing that moment to die, as everything became pitch black, and the temperature dropped drastically. The only thing he was able to see was Naruto, a Naruto who looked even more animalistic and demonic than ever, surrounded in a corona of evil light that seemed to twist his features into something more…vulpine. His face was sharper, the lines harder, and it seemed to be beginning to stretch into a muzzle. His eyes though, were the worse. They were now red as blood, no trace of humanity remained in them, and Gai was sure he could see the souls of the damned trapped within them. Averting his eyes from the boy's face, he sought relief from the nightmare and realized that's what the boy was. For behind him, outlined by the flickering light, stood the Kyuubi no Kitsune, its crimson eyes and fanged maw the only discernable parts of it in the gloom. Spotting him, it lunged forward and…

Suddenly, the light returned, the Kyuubi was gone, and Naruto Uzumaki was back to the way he was just moments ago. Looking back over to him, the boy asked, "So, any good?" Gai being Gai, there was only one thing he could say.

"Yosh, magnificent Naruto! Though it seems as though the flower of your youth springs forth from the crimson soil of the battlefield, it has in no way diminished the spring time of your youth! With such youthfulness, and with all that you have done to aid my youthful students, you must begin training with us at once!"

Naruto was a bit taken aback by Gai's little speech, but when he thought about it, he really couldn't find a reason not to train under Gai. His taijutsu needed work, he might be able to pick up some much needed ninjutsu, and he actually found the whole spring time of youth thing rather amusing. So, decision made, he bowed and said, "I would be honored to train under you Gai-sensei. I am ready to begin just as soon as we see to Tenten."

Unfortunately, this drew attention back to Tenten, and to the fact that Naruto's illusion had made her pass out and piss herself, though no one was quite sure of the real order. Seeing her in such a state, Naruto quietly made a clone and had it take Tenten back to her grandfather. After it was gone, the four remaining ninja stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, until Naruto decided to bight the bullet and said, "So, training?"

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Gai said, "Right, training. Yosh, come my youthful students, if we cannot run 100 laps around Konoha before nightfall, then we shall do jumping jacks until dawn!"

'Ah, what the hell,' Naruto thought, pumping his fist into the air and proclaiming, "Let us go forth and stoke the fires of our youth!"

With a chorus of "Yosh!" from the green duo, the three bounded off through the woods towards the wall surrounding the village, leaving the last of their number behind. Neji stood there a moment before sighing, and turning to return to the Hyuuga estate, thanking whatever deity responsible that it had been his fate to learn where the clan elders stored the hard liquor.

AN: Many many apologies for the over long wait, I can't believe I let this go for so long. This chapter being in the period between the bell test and the Wave mission and all, it took me a while to plot it all out. On the bright side if you liked any of the stuff with team Gai I only thought of it last week so some good did come of the wait. Also, wave arc begins next chapter and should run straight up to the Zabuza fight and I've more of less planned this out 'til just pass the Chunin exams from there. Also, if anyone can translate or knows a program that will give me spellings using english characters, let me know because I need to translate a few technique and weapon names.

Also since tripfall managed to guess that Naruto's new style is from Spike of Cowboy Bebop, and I now know someone reads these little sidenotes I put here, the pairing for this fic is FemHakuxNarutoxHinata. There may or may not be side pairings, depending upon requests and my whims. Read and review and hopefully I'll be back much sooner next time.

1. Delusional little bitch, ain't she?

2. Gotta admit, I felt a little gay writing that.

3. For the record, since I've mentioned it before, the true herald of the apocalypse is when Tsunade starts chasing Jiraya after he takes a vow a chastity and poverty, at the same time Naruto swears off ramen, Hinata starts trying to hook-up with Ino and Sakura at the same time and Pein decides to give up the whole god shtick and settle down with Konan and start a family.

4. If you want the chicken craving or some other fox trait made into a running gag, say so in a review. If something gets enough support, I'll try my best to start using it.

5. He's had some safe sex pamphlets and a few copies of the kama sutra stashed away since he first started testing teams.

6. See Naruto is paranoid, Kakashi just wanted to teach him a valuable lesson. For those of you who are here for the bashing, don't worry, I'm not gonna stop with the emo and the fangirl and a good part of the rest of the Rookie 9 are gonna get some too.

7. Those ten losses were some of the funniest shit ever.

8. Got the idea off of Innortal, may use it some more.

9. This was one of those ten times, and these I almost assuredly will put down some day.

10. It looks like what Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist does, but the physics are from that assassin in "No Country for Old Men"

11. Mainly the shit the Uchiha had a better version for stashed away in their library.

12. Really I'm serious, that's the last of that particular joke.

13. Don't worry, he's only talking that way because he's trying to sound like an asshole.

14. Yes, you can hear the capitals.

15. For those of you who want to know, the results of the bet will be one of the first things covered next chapter. For those of you that like Tenten, that will be the last time I pick on her.

16. Wasn't sure if it had a name or not, but that sounded like something Gai would say.