Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. When I die, bury me, fully outfitted with the melee weaponry in my home. I hope I retain some semblance of everything I've trained for years to do fighting-wise, because I want to be buried with my broadsword, katana, daggers, etc.

That way, if I ever come back as a zombie, at least I won't be your standard level 1 monster you find outside of the first village in an RPG… and whoever kills me a second time can get some sweet-ass loot.

What even is this disclaimer?

Chapter 52: With Our Powers Combined

Despite working out of a headquarters and some having offices, many mercenaries for Kaisha Hien didn't have to work from their desks. A lot of them preferred to take most of their business outside of the building, receiving calls and messages, and only really coming in when needed. It was a loose policy Jiraiya had instituted to make the people who worked with him feel more comfortable.

People had desks and offices because as a licensed business there had to be some kind of physical location for the private military company. That people sometimes actually treated it as a place of work was a mere side-effect. In most cases, it was like a fraternity that helped you get paying work, and sometimes had to deal with other people hating you and trying to kill you because of your affiliation.

You know... like a fraternity.

Naruto sat in a darkened room next to his would-be former guardian Obito, a laptop hooked to a projector situated right next to them. Neither man was excited to be there, and yet they were, simply because they lacked the spine to say no to the person who told them to attend.

Standing at the front of the room with a beaming smile on her face, Shizune stood, patiently waiting to begin. She reminded Naruto of a brand new teacher. All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to positively affect some young lives – to mold the minds of tomorrow.

He liked that look. It made for a great 'before' picture before idealism was broken and they realized that all public school kids were monsters.

But that was neither here nor there. After all, he wasn't about to commit emotional terrorism to break the spirit of one of his favorite people in the world the way he would have to some random teacher back in middle school. She wasn't some filthy, horrible professional educator trying to make him read, write and... (ugh) do math.

No. She was Shizune, and she was awesome.

"Well, we're all here. Any questions before we get started?" Shizune asked, seemingly much more enthusiastic about working with the team that had been assembled than she had been previously. It wasn't too odd though. Shizune was a pleasant woman, "I just want to make sure everyone knows all they need to make this a success."

Obito raised his hand like he was in class. Good. It wasn't just Naruto who was reminded somewhat of school by all of this, "Yeah, why aren't you just telling us what we need to do, or passing a file around? That's how we usually get briefings."

When he normally got missions that didn't include the entirety of Team Kakashi, Kakashi or Rin would usually throw a folder at his face, laugh when the contents spilled everywhere, wish him luck, and tell him not to die. And he would do the exact same to them. They would all do it to each other, including Kakashi and Rin, and they were a legit married couple. That sort of behavior was expected and encouraged. That was true friendship right there. The good shit.

Not this sitting down, explaining things carefully crap. Who had the time or the patience to set this up?

...Right, Shizune.

Said woman regarded the question with a big smile, clapping her hands together around the clicker, "Yes, but I like making PowerPoint presentations for things like this, so that's why we're doing it this way. Any other questions?"

"One more, actually," Naruto asked, scratching his cheek before pointing to the back of the room. There, Zabuza sat, balancing on two of his chair's four legs with Kubikiriboucho stabbed into the floor for extra stability, "How'd you get Zabuza to sit in on this? Because I know he couldn't care less about a briefing."

"Haku," Zabuza prompted, without even being asked. True to form, hovering behind her adopted father, Haku stood, pleasantly waving at the others in the room.

Naruto didn't get it at first, "...Aren't you her dad?"

"Yeah? And?" Zabuza shot back, not getting Naruto's point. Either that, or not caring.

"Isn't she supposed to listen to you, and not the other way around?" As far as Naruto knew, that was how parents worked. At least, that was the rule of thumb as far as he was secondhandedly led to believe. It wasn't like he had personal experience to draw upon.

The tall swordsman leaned his head up and stared Naruto down, raising an eyebrow at the young blond. He was about to explain, but then remembered that Haku was supposed to have been tutoring him soon as a mission she had accepted, "Sure. Whatever you say, kid."

Theoretically, Naruto was right. But in essence, he was so very wrong. Zabuza figured Naruto knew better by now, but he would find that out soon enough. However, that was neither here nor there.

"Okay! Down to business," Shizune said brightly, bringing up the first image, a man walking to a government building in downtown Konoha, flanked by two black-clad, no-nonsense bodyguards, "This is our target. Danzo Shimura."

"That's Danzo?" Naruto interrupted skeptically at the sight of the figure on the screen, "He's the target? He looks like he should be taking his pills with his applesauce at the retirement home."

Obito flicked Naruto on the ear, ignoring the sudden yelp of pain from his surrogate younger brother, "You'd better check yourself, kid," He warned, not willing to take any guff this time around. While Obito was always one for acting the fool, it went out the window when the lives of his loved ones were at risk, "That old man used to a grade-A, bonafide bad motherfucker back in the day. Like, on the level of the Hokage."

The old man war hero who led Konoha? Not a chance. Hiruzen Sarutobi was the baddest-ass old son of a bitch that ever threw a punch. Period. No one was going to say that he wasn't, in this city or in any other, whether they hated him or not. The oldest sitting Hokage in the history of the office, taking the seat at the earliest age, and surviving the whole time. Movies were made about the things he'd done, and the older people who'd lived through the actual times in question say the filmmakers, with all of their budgets, special effects, and high paid actors still didn't make it intense enough.

To think that Danzo was on that level was absurd, and Naruto let it be known, "Then why have I never heard of him until I figured out he was the one who fucked with me?"

Zabuza informatively chimed in from the back of the room, "The real hard cases don't want people keeping their names in their mouths. You'd better remember, the deadliest animal isn't always the biggest, loudest, and most colorful."

Obito took Zabuza's interjection to add to the discussion, "Danzo's not the type to ride into your town, slaughter all the villagers, cut the chieftain's head off and put it on a pike with his balls hanging out of his mouth-."

Shizune recoiled and Naruto raised an eyebrow at the rather specific example, "Okay... first of all, graphic. Second of all, what?"

Obito didn't break the cadence of his description, "-He's more of the type to poison your town's water supply, get it quarantined off, pick off anyone who tries to leave, and then watch everyone else die nice and slow."

Zabuza lifted his hefty sword and pointed it Naruto's way, "You don't get old doing this crap unless you're really fucking good at it. Remember that."

Shizune tapped the wall to get everyone's attention back on the matter at hand, "So, as for why he's important. Our mission is to gather more information on Danzo's activities. NOT to kill him," She specified with a pointed look meant for Obito and Zabuza.

"-Yet," Obito whispered to his spiritual younger brother, only to be fixed with a sharper glare from Shizune, "Sorry," She was tired of the interruptions.

Once she was certain that Obito would keep his big mouth shut so she could speak, she continued, "He's extremely tough to get to for any extended period of time," She said, pointing to the projection, "This is the only image we've been able to take of him in the last sixteen months. But... we know where he's going to be. A very public place where there will be lots of people, which means plenty of opportunity to get a bug on him or his top guards."

"A tournament," Zabuza revealed, prompting Shizune to angrily point her clicker at him, "What? You're the only one that can say anything?"

Shizune all but gave up on trying to keep the conventional briefing order that she had originally tried to establish. The lot of unruly jerks... "Yes, a tournament. A tournament for young fighters. You literally can't enter if you're 18 or older," She smiled at Naruto and Haku, "And that's why we need you two and a third person to enter. Danzo likes attending things like this to scout for young talent to recruit."

How he recruited them, they were sure it was by force. But that was neither here nor there.

Obito reached over and rubbed Naruto's head as though he were a pet, "He'll already be checking Naruto out because he wants to get his hands on him, but just in case Naruto sucks and loses in the first round, we need someone else to get his attention, or to watch Naruto's back."

Naruto grabbed Obito by the finger and bent it back to an uncomfortable angle, getting the man to holler in pain, "I don't need anyone to watch my back. You guys decided that I did," He pointed to the back of the room where one of his oldest friends say, "You could have just used Haku-neechan as your in. She's good. Way more than good enough for this."

Zabuza growled from his seat, "No one goes alone, and we can't be with you while we're doing our thing," He said, glaring straight at Naruto, "If Haku is too good, she'll get Danzo's attention, and might go after her. If she's by herself, then what will she do? That man doesn't take 'no' for an answer."

Which meant he would take her by force. Naruto meant what he said when he said that he believed Haku was talented enough to do this by herself, but he would never put her in a potential position of danger just because he thought it was a waste of resources.

They were using Haku because she wasn't the most well-known of the young mercenaries. The things she tended to do weren't the most visible. It was also why Naruto had recruited Neji instead of Sasuke. Had he gone with his usual circle of allies to fill out the roster of his would-be team, it would have set off alarms in the head of anyone savvy enough to realize they were all Kaisha Hien contractors.

"Fine. Whatever," Naruto eventually relented, letting go of Obito's finger, "No kill like overkill I guess."

"I personally find that to be the best way to go about doing anything," Zabuza remarked, visibly relaxing in his chair once more.

"Right!" Shizune said, turning everyone's attention back to the briefing proper, "Now let's go over everyone's roles and the overall plan."

XxX

(Some Time Later – South Konoha High School)

Sasuke was annoyed as he sat in his first class of the day. More annoyed than usual. It didn't have anything to do with the curriculum, or the day's topic of study. Class hadn't even started yet. It was more to do with his own activities outside of the school.

Yes, he had agreed with Naruto in the end about postponing his plan to make a move on a location that Karin swore had something to do with Orochimaru, the man he had been on the trail of for the better part of a year.

Every time they got involved with anything to do with the man, they almost died, true. But they had always come out the better for it. They learned more. Sasuke could feel that he was breathing down Orochimaru's neck. He could finally prove himself.

He wasn't the runt. He wasn't in his father or Itachi's shadow. He was his own man, and he was at least as good an investigator as either of them.

The dark cloud hanging over his head made people keep a wide berth from him all morning long, except for one brave soul.

Sakura had seen something was wrong with Sasuke the moment she walked in. Having kept an eye on him as often as possible for years, she had become an experienced hand at determining significant shifts in his mood. What there was she could do about it was still up for debate. But anything was better than nothing, right?

Sasuke noticed her with a sideways glance when she stood by him, hands behind her back with a gentle smile, "Hi, Sasuke-kun."

"Sakura," Sasuke greeted on his own end, "Good morning," He said simply.

It wasn't much, but a few months ago, Sasuke would have ignored her completely. That was before she helped Naruto on a mission in Takigakure. Before she took the summer police trainee program and lasted the entire thing. Sakura felt that Sasuke respected her more now, saw her as more than a lovesick airhead.

...Even if she still couldn't get him attracted to her. That was a work in progress.

"Is it a good morning?" Sakura asked, venturing to sit down at the desk closes to him, "You don't seem very happy today."

Sasuke let out an amused snort, "I don't ever seem very happy."

Sakura rolled her eyes, beginning to ease into the conversation more. He wasn't some god among boys. He was a human being, "That's not true, and you know it," She said, "Is something wrong? If you stare down at the floor any harder, you might set that tile on fire."

The joke wasn't great, but it was enough to ease Sasuke up a bit. Just from doing his part to train her during the summer, he knew she was an attentive girl. She'd already figured out he had a problem, and he couldn't convince her to drop it without snapping at her.

From training with her, he also knew that she was a good girl. A little too emotional in some ways, but people were who they were. There was nothing wrong with that. The point was, she had a good heart and a good head on her shoulders. She was smart.

Naruto was a good friend, as was Kyuubi. Neither of them were good for advice, though one was significantly worse than the other. Itachi just wanted Sasuke to be safe. He very nearly babied him, which made him bad for the kind of advice Sasuke needed. In that sense, Sakura was perfect. She seemed to care, and she was intelligent enough to offer good insight.

Throwing all hesitance to the wind, Sasuke decided that there were definitely worse people he could talk to, "If you want something really bad, and it's just within your reach, what do you do?" Sakura raised an eyebrow, but waited patiently to hear him out, "You made a promise to wait, but if you wait, you might lose it."

"Can I ask what you're talking about?" Sakura asked, wondering if the topic was a bit out of her depth.

Sasuke shook his head. Not a chance, "I think it's better for you if you don't know."

Fair enough. But that didn't mean Sakura couldn't understand and try to help, "I wanted something that like that. But I wasn't ready for it," The pink-haired girl admitted, "I had to take a step back and work on myself a little more before I went for it again. I haven't lost it yet, I don't think... so I guess I might just be lucky."

She was talking about the boy right in front of her. That much was thinly veiled. Taking a step back and focusing on something else for eight weeks gave her some perspective.

Sakura still wanted Sasuke. She wanted him badly. But no one liked a person who came on as strongly as she did. As Ino did. As so many other girls did, just to get his attention. There were better ways to do that, and she chose to try and stand out by excelling.

They were friends... at least she thought so. He invited her to Naruto's ridiculous party, after all. If nothing else, she was friends with people she knew were Sasuke's friends – Naruto and Kyuubi. That was a start for the new direction she was going in.

"In any case, I think it's all up to you," Sakura concluded with a heartfelt question, "Would you regret it if whatever this thing was got away? Do you think you're ready for whatever it is now?"

Sasuke turned to look directly into her emerald eyes, and found her looking back at him with as much meaning as she could muster, '...Yes,' He thought to himself, 'Yes, I do,' "Thank you, Sakura."

Sakura's heart fluttered. He thanked her for something. He had never done that for any of the girls at school. Ever, "You're welcome, Sasuke-kun."

At the front of the classroom, the teacher Gen'yuumaru smiled to himself as the tardy bell rang to signify the start of class, "Alright, everyone. Take your seats, and get out your notes. If you recall, we last left off on the beginning of what we now know as the five great powers in the Elemental Nations..."

XxX

(Later That Day – South Konoha High School)

Lunchtime was a time for winding down, and Naruto only had one period of the day at school with his girlfriend this semester. Thus, on this day it was spent with Naruto and most of his guy friends present huddling around his phone and watch old fight videos, just as an idea of what he would be getting himself into when this tournament rolled around.

Kiba let out a low whistle at the bombastic ending to the fight that they were all watching, "That's intense. How is this not on TV?" There was a part of him that was miffed that he wouldn't be taking part.

Naruto closed the app allowing them to check out the past tournaments and pocketed his device, "Apparently, sometimes it gets too violent to be allowed on network TV. People have died during this thing, like, a lot," Not that this particularly bothered him, given his line of work.

A bloodsport of an event that their friend was now involved in. That was interesting, but only so far as what was actually in it for Naruto to take part, "What's it worth to actually win this thing?" Kiba asked, 'There's no way mom will let me get involved...' He thought to himself.

Naruto grinned before relaying the figure to the others with no small amount of smugness in his voice, "1,000,000 ryo of cold, hard cash."

Ino reared back, a bit startled at the potential sum of money that could be obtained through what she saw as a barbaric display, "That... is a nice little nest egg," She said, seeing how others could be swayed into getting involved, "Well worth blowing your whole weekend on to try and win, I'd have to say."

Naruto grinned across the table at his fellow blonde, "Right?" And it was a good cover reason for Naruto to be there, because he was keen on winning the whole thing and taking the prize for himself. What he was actually being paid for the mission was nothing compared to that much money, "My bank account will thank me when I make that deposit. Is it tax free if you're underage?"

The question went unanswered by everyone at the table. Shino went into another line of questioning for his friend and his family's tenant, "You really think you can win? Just like that? I only ask because it is a mystery to me if you have recovered."

"Yup!" Naruto responded immediately, smacking the stoic teen on the arm, "I'm fine. That whole clusterfuck in Ame was a few weeks ago, and I haven't been beaten up that badly since then," Granted, he had taken a few lumps, but nothing he couldn't sleep off with a half-decent night's rest, "I say it's time to get back on that horse."

Ino laughed to herself and gave a wide cattish smile, "What if the horse kicks you in the head while you're trying to climb back up on it?" She asked, knowingly trying to needle Naruto.

"Then you punch it in the eye and saddle that sucker up," He responded, making a punching motion in the air, "...Right? That's how it works, right?" No one responded, causing Naruto to drop his head in embarrassment, "I don't know a lot about horses."

"Well, good luck anyway," Ino said honestly, "It'd be nice to have someone who goes to this school actually do something positive for once," Her positive sentiment vanished when she noticed Naruto looking back at her strangely, "What's the matter?"

Naruto realized that his staring could have been considered rude and waved his hands, "Nothing, it's just... I can't remember the last time someone I wasn't dating or someone who didn't raise me said something encouraging."

"That's a sad story," Kiba said, getting the rest at the table to nod in agreement silently, "...So do you get entrance music for this thing? What are you coming out to? Oh, dude! Can you shout me out on camera? That would be sick."

XxX

(Kaisha Hien HQ)

Obito was used to getting chewed out. It happened from friends, co-workers, and sometimes even random people he came across on the streets. That was the price you paid to live the life of a scoundrel. But he didn't expect to get it from a person with arguably lower moral fiber than he had.

Granted... that person was also his employer. However, that had never been an issue before. To be scolded by Jiraiya of all people. What was life?

Jiraiya glowered at Obito. Normally when he called the man to his office, he did so for company. The man was a tremendous drinking partner/club buddy. This was not one of those joyous occasions, "Why did you recruit Naruto for the mission?"

Obito felt like a third grader being called into the office by the principal, "You said I had my pick of the place!"

Jiraiya swept his arm wide to express his displeasure, "I want him nowhere near this whole thing!" The closer to Danzo he was, the more dangerous things would be. It was already known that the man wanted Naruto to get the results of the artificial half-demon research back, "Nope. This isn't happening. You're going to find someone else to do it."

Obito sighed and slouched down in his chair, annoyed at the order he'd been issued, "There's no time. If I have to swap out Naruto, I have to find a second other person too who can handle this. We leave tomorrow morning," He argued. This rarely happened. Usually Obito was given full autonomy to run his own missions the way he saw fit, as long as nothing catastrophic happened. "You normally trust me. Even with all of the fuckups."

At that, Jiraiya momentarily relented in his taskmaster demeanor, if only for a moment, "You don't fuck up in the field, Obito. You've been rock-solid as one of my mercenaries for years. That's not what this is about."

Exactly. The best part of working for Kaisha Hien was the lack of executive meddling. The only reason Jiraiya was saying anything was because he was personally invested.

That was all the opening Obito needed to begin diffusing everything. It would be done with all of the subtlety of a sledgehammer, "Jiraiya-sama, you can yell at me about this all you want, but I've got to say this," He wondered how badly this would blow up in his face before deciding to go for it, "...You've gotta stop babying Naruto."

If Jiraiya had expected any kind of response from his soldier-for-hire, that hadn't been it, "What?" He responded in confusion.

Obito doubled down, "You heard me. You have to cut it out. You and Tsunade-sama. Both of you fret over the kid like he's made of glass," He put a hand to his chest to signify how heartfelt his words were, "Speaking as someone who has dropped him multiple times back when he was supposed to be fragile, I can tell you for sure he's not."

Though stunned momentarily by Obito's blunt words, Jiraiya swiftly recovered the plot of the conversation, "You're marching him right to Danzo."

Obito raised an eyebrow on the eye that he still had, "I dare Danzo to take him. I double-dog-dare that old sack of shit to try anything," There was no concern whatsoever that Danzo would use the opportunity of spotting Naruto out of the blue to take him, "He won't. You know why? Because he didn't plan it, and he won't have time to come up with anything."

Danzo was a master schemer. This was historically true. The man could enact a plan that lasted years and steer it his way in terms of success. But the chief weakness of his strategies came whenever someone threw a monkey wrench straight into the complex machine of his ideas.

Jiraiya had proven this long ago. After the incident that had resulted in Minato's death and Konoha nearly burning, Jiraiya had cut a bloody swatch right to Danzo, and there was nothing the man could do to stop him or get away until Jiraiya had taken an eye and an arm before his retreat.

Since then, he had rarely ever been in the public eye. Every move he made was consolidated three times over with contingencies. He didn't take risks, even when what he wanted was dangling right in front of his face. It was why his operatives didn't attempt to capture Naruto when he went right for them all on his own not too long ago.

Obito tapped his own temple, signifying that there had indeed been plenty of thought put into using Naruto as a diversion. How else would he have ever gotten Shizune to sign off on it? "After Danzo sees Naruto at the tournament, he's gonna spend the first hour focusing on the fact that he's there to begin with," He explained, "The old fuck is smart, but as far as I'm aware, he's not known for his ability to adapt on the fly. The most he'll do is divert some of his guard to keep an eye on Naruto, maybe. And he'll have a Hyuuga with him. If – and this is a big if – something happens, he'll see it coming a mile away."

True enough, Jiraiya had been training Naruto, and he hadn't been skimping on the difficulty. He made it hard for the boy because that was what he needed. And it had worked out. He was getting stronger, and rapidly so.

After all of the other dangerous things Naruto had been involved in since becoming a mercenary, the only thing that made this any different was that it involved someone who they knew was targeting him. That was all.

"He can handle this," Obito assured his boss, "Besides, you're about to put him on academic probation anyway. Give him one last good job before you chain him to a desk and glue a textbook to his hands."

Jiraiya snorted back a laugh. Yes, if Naruto's grades weren't trash by the time they were judged, he would be more surprised by anyone, "Fine. I guess I should treat him like everyone else," Which meant letting him work as though this were any other mission, "If he's okay with getting his ass put in the fire, he'd better not expect me to cry over him when something happens."

Obito grinned, having come to an understanding with the head of his PMC, "Remember; even though he's supposed to be your godson, he's my little brother. If any part of me has rubbed off on him, it's that's it's more trouble to kill him or capture him than it's worth."

"Good. Those are the best kinds of people for this job."

"Don't I know it?"

XxX

(The Next Day – Obito's House)

Getting up early was annoying on school days, but it was different knowing that he was getting up in order to do one of his favorite things – be a mercenary. Even if he had to do it earlier than normal, it was still a treat for him.

With a pep in his step, he got off of his motorcycle, parked in front of Obito's house, where he found Obito and Shizune waiting near an SUV, one of the vehicles that Team Kakashi used for mission traveling.

"Good morning!" Naruto greeted his surrogate siblings energetically. Shizune just laughed and opened her arms for a hug. Naruto couldn't run over to her fast enough. Gently of course.

"Yo, runt," Obito rubbed the top of Naruto's head as he finished loading things into the back of the SUV, "Looking fresh and wriggly this morning, just like good bait should."

Naruto let go of Shizune and gave Obito an odd look. The man was upright and spry. It was weird, "Why is he alert?" Naruto asked.

"Huh?" Shizune didn't know what to make of the question.

Naruto sighed and pointed at the black sheep of the Uchiha Clan as he took a deep breath and greeted the day with his chest puffed out, "The only thing Obito hates worse than getting up early, is getting up early and still missing McDonald's breakfast. Why is he happy?"

Obito didn't bother stopping his activity, instead addressing Naruto as he worked, "Ha! Jokes on you. They serve breakfast all day at McDonald's now!"

"There are plenty of reasons to be happy when you wake up, Naruto," Shizune brightly argued for Obito's benefit, "It's a new day with new possibilities. It's a gorgeous morning. There's a lot to look forward to."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at her, but other than that, did nothing to call the woman out on the fact that it was Obito Uchiha they were referring to, "If he's like this all day, it's gonna be a long ride to the show," And with that, he grabbed a seat in the back.

It was just the three of them for the time being. Zabuza and Haku would head up together, while Neji would find his own way. It was fine as long as they met up to sign in for the tournament together. It was also probably better for their cover if they arrived separately as well. A complete party of them rolling up to the venue six-deep would probably set Danzo off before any of them even climbed into the ring.

Whatever happened from then on out was up to the senior operatives – Obito, Zabuza, and Shizune. Naruto was meant to serve as a diversion, and Neji and Haku would support him, just in case.

That meant he didn't have a lot procedural-wise to think of. All he had to do was fight and win, to give the others time to do what they needed to. Other questions then permeated his mind, "Question," He eventually asked as they got onto the freeway proper.

Shizune looked at him through the rear view mirror, beaming his way, "Yes, Naruto-kun!"

It was good to see her in high spirits, while it was odd to see Obito feeling the same. He still wasn't clear as to why that was, "Why were you at Obito-nii's house when I got there?"

Silence reigned over the car, with the exception of the radio playing softly in the background. Shizune made sure that the lull only lasted a handful of seconds, "W-Well, we figured it would be easier to leave from one place than it would be to pick everyone up."

Naruto understood, however there was little evidence to back up this line of reasoning, "Yeah, but there wasn't another car there, and buses just started running when I got there," No response, "Plus, I mean, who drives Uber at six in the morning? Did you get a taxi or something?"

Shizune struggled to come up with another excuse, other than the one that she had prepared in advance. Obito was no help, silently snickering to himself as he busied himself with driving, "Stop laughing," She whispered, smacking him on the arm.

"I'm not laughing," Obito argued, his massive grin saying otherwise, "Are you embarrassed of me, Shizune?"

Naruto had almost put two and two together by this point, but hearing his suspicions more or less confirmed by his brother figure still put an uncomfortable chill down his spine, "Aw, eww..." Shizune kept her eyes straight ahead on the road, but Naruto could still see the red on the back of her ears, "Come on. Just... come on. Shizune-nee, you can do better than that! He's-... come on!" He didn't even know how to put his feelings into colorful language, "I'm so disappointed in you right now. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Right?" Obito exclaimed, glad that his own beliefs were seconded by Naruto, "I did too. It's weird, isn't it?"

Shizune promptly chided both other occupants of the vehicle, "You two both hush. And what did I tell you about that?" She added for Obito, "I didn't want to say anything because we're working today, and I knew it would distract Naruto-kun. Look at him."

Obito spared a moment to look into the backseat where he found Naruto staring at the two of them with a thousand-yard stare. He let out a content bark of laughter, "Heh, he's imagining what it looked like."

Shizune turned around in her seat and snapped her fingers in Naruto's face to break him from his poisonous thoughts, "Whatever you're thinking happened, didn't happen."

This was shaping up to be one of the greatest car rides in Obito's career thus far, "Don't listen to her, Naruto. Everything you think happened absolutely happened, and then some."

"Uuuughhh," Naruto gave up trying to reconcile the reality of his most sensible influence and his most irresponsible influence hooking up, "Why does some combination of all of my surrogate siblings bang?" Kakashi and Rin did, but they were married, and Naruto had basically grown up with the two of them being together. This... whatever it was with Obito and Shizune was brand new.

Shizune pouted in embarrassment, crossing her arms over her chest, "We went on a date last night. We've been on a few dates, actually. I'm not that kind of woman," She did make him put in some effort to get it.

Naruto scoffed and leaned forward into the front seats to get a good look at Shizune's face, "Did you not bang at the end of the night?" Shizune simply turned away from him completely instead of answering, "That's what I thought."

Obito scoffed, "End of the night? We did it this morning too before you got to my house," He looked over to the stunned look on his new girlfriend's face, "Why are you embarrassed? You're grown. He's a kid."

Shizune rolled her eyes, "Why are we talking about this?" She couldn't complain. She had chosen him, knowing full well what she was getting into... or in this case, letting get into her.

Obito cackled and took his hands off of the steering wheel to do creepy fingers, "I can hear his skin crawl. This is great," He turned his attention to their little brother, "Naruto, Shizune is fine as fuck. You know this to be true."

It was true. However, this was not the point. Naruto's sisters were family to him. The lack of blood relation didn't matter. They were not erotic creatures, and nothing in his life had ever or would ever convince him otherwise, "How do you think you'd feel if I told you about me and Kyuubi-chan?"

Shizune made it appear as though this was news to her, "You've had sex?" Her lover had none of this masquerade.

Obito dropped his head onto the steering wheel in exasperation, "You know he has! Don't play dumb!" He exclaimed, "I swear to God, you and Rin both. He doesn't have to tell you. You two know he's done it!"

He and Kakashi had known within days. Back when Naruto had been recovering from the Takigakure mishap, Kyuubi had stuck to him like glue, and no one was more attentive than Kakashi. He had been the one to smarten Obito up.

"Plausible deniability, Obito," Shizune shot back before switching over to big sister lecture mode, "You're too young to be slinging your stuff around all willy-nilly. One mistake, Naruto-kun-."

Obito cut in and put his vote toward teenage debauchery, "-Ask Kakashi how old he and Rin were before you go saying that."

Shizune gestured with her hand wildly, "Why are they the standard for this?"

"Because they were the first people our age to hook up," Obito reasoned. That and they were still going strong, nearly ten years later.

Shizune grumbled to herself, "You could have been first before either of them. Like I said before, that's your fault," It was clear that a pivotal point in the verbal joust was reached, because Obito closed his mouth for the first time that morning.

Naruto perked up, immediately taking a new interest in the conversation, "Oh-ho! Now we're getting somewhere!"

Obito scowled and tried to shut this down as quickly as possible, "Shut up, runt. This ain't about you," Shizune now held a rather smug expression, "I thought we had this conversation already. In private."

The dark-haired medic batted her eyes at Obito innocently, "We glossed over this conversation in private," She specified, "Also, Naruto-kun is family. And it's not like he'll go around spreading any details."

Naruto held his hands up defensively, "I'll be good. I'm not even taping this. My phone's not out," But his smart goggles were front and center on his forehead, and he'd already hit record. There was no way he was letting the opportunity to obtain blackmail material on Obito slip out of his grasp.

XxX

(Kuminari no Kuni – Ginheiya)

The town that would serve as host to the tournament wasn't as big as Konoha, but was a pretty serviceable place with a good number of people in it. Of course, comparing most places to Konoha wasn't fair. That city was massive.

When Naruto arrived at the arena, Obito and Shizune dropped him off. With his nose, he was able to quickly find his partners, "Neji! You made it! Hey, buddy!" He hadn't been so happy to see Neji ever in his life.

Unfortunately, the feeling was not mutual, "Of course I made it. I was the one who agreed to do this in the first place," He looked around at the rabble as they started getting in line to wait to register, "I thought you had a third."

"She's coming," Naruto assured him before catching the distinct kimono-clad figure of one of his oldest friends approaching, "Hey, Haku-neechan."

Neji turned to get a look at this mystery person and stopped. He had no idea that Naruto knew anyone who looked so dignified.

Naruto gave Neji a pat on the back and gestured to their new arrival, "Neji, this is Haku Momochi. Haku, this is Neji Hyuuga," He said, introducing the two before beginning to hype himself up, "Alright, the dream team is all together! Who's ready to go in there and make Naruto look good?"

Neji scoffed at the idea that he was doing any of this for Naruto, "I'm here to win."

Naruto let it roll off of him like water from a duck's back, "-Which will make me look good, because I put this motley crew of talent together."

"You say motley crew, but you're the only one who looks to be the odd one out here," Neji said, gesturing to Naruto's normal casual attire as opposed to their more traditional, formal garb.

"He does have a point, Naruto-kun," Haku admitted, walking a circle around Naruto and grabbing at his clothes, "If team continuity is what you're looking for, you should have asked me to help you find something more in line with our clothes."

"Uh, I'm good," Naruto replied, squinting his eyes at his teammates, "Kimonos and stuff might look appropriate on you two, but I can't pull that off, guys. That's all you."

"Hm," Haku said, smiling pleasantly as she finished perusing Naruto's chosen garb, "As you wish."

"What is the format of this competition?"

Naruto grinned, as he had been watching past tournaments so he could get an idea of what he was getting into, "Each round, the way it's fought is random," He explained, "You can get one-on-one, two-on-two, or three-on-three. If the entire team isn't fighting, they pick the ones who are by random draw too."

Haku frowned at Naruto's rundown of how things would work, "It sounds like something that's easy to fix in someone's favor."

Corruption in prize fighting was extremely common, but something that rarely had enough obvious evidence to be called to the forefront. Also, there were scary people who had their hands in these sorts of things, so intelligent people didn't find it worth making a stink over.

Neji brushed the entire thing off, "I'm sure the people who put this together have individuals they would like to see advance and win. But if you're talented enough, it shouldn't matter."

"And you believe you are, Hyuuga-san?" Haku asked, trying to get a feel for this outsider brought in for the sake of the mission she was on.

Neji crossed his arms, hiding his hands within the sleeves of his robes, "If I thought there was anyone here who could defeat me, I would be beaten before I fought, wouldn't I?"

There wasn't much to do while the line to sign in moved forward slowly. Neji did not wish to converse with him, and Haku was busy making sure she was fully outfitted for combat. Thus, Naruto occupied his time with the most important thing he could do at that moment.

…Coming up with the name they were going to go by as a team.

The blond mercenary rattled off name after name that came to mind, looking for the right one that stuck with him, "The Powers of Pain. No, the Penthouse Express. How about the Golden Triangle? No, that name makes us sound like drug dealers."

The more names Naruto went through, usually some kind of stupid reference to a show, movie or music he liked, the deeper Neji's usually stony countenance twisted into a frown, "We are not referring to ourselves by any of those names," He asserted.

Naruto was barely listening. He was on a complete roll, "Team Punishment. Ooh! I like that one."

"No," Neji said, putting his foot down.

Again, Naruto was barely listening, "Wooooo! Yeah! Team Punish-ment!" He had decided.

Neji had enough and turned Naruto around in line to grab him by the collar of his shirt, "We are not Team Punishment. Are you going to name us Team Punishment?" He needed to know if he had to temporarily paralyze Naruto now or not.

Naruto stared at Neji owlishly, "…I'm going to now once Haku's done signing in," Which he didn't really have to do, as a spot had opened up in line. Naruto broke Neji's grip and jogged up to the next open attendant before the older boy could stop him, "Hey, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, teaming with Haku Momochi and Neji Hyuuga. We'll be going by Team Punishment."

The attendant over with Haku spoke up before the one with Naruto could mark it down, "Sorry, kid. Your teammate here already named your team. Good luck in the competition," Haku waved at Naruto and stepped out of line.

Naruto felt defeated, stalking off like a downtrodden puppy. Neji was relieved that Haku had beaten Naruto to the punch. From what he had seen of her so far, she was reserved, with a much more level head on her shoulders.

"Haku…" Naruto complained as he and Neji got out of line and caught up with her, "I was looking forward to that. Coming up with the team name is the funnest part of this kind of thing."

Haku's eyes shone with a controlled sense of mischief, "I know. I was looking forward to it too. That's why I did it."

With that, Neji's comfortable attitude went right out the window, "…Momochi-san, what did you name our team?" He asked carefully, hoping that it was something sensible.

Haku took great pleasure in letting him know, "Best Friends."

Neji was promptly disappointed, "…We're not best friends."

"Ah, but Naruto-kun is my closest friend. And though we don't know each other just yet, we could be." Haku said, smiling and held a finger to the tip of her nose as she began to walk away, "I think it's a good name."

There went Neji's port in the storm of Naruto's brand of lunacy, right out the window, "And here I thought you were more mature than this."

Had Haku been rude enough, she would have had cause to roll her eyes, "Relax, Hyuuga-san. Try to have a little fun," She otherwise ignored him and looked around through the crowd beginning to gather for the competition, "I'm going to go find Zabuza-tousan. I'll return soon."

Naruto threw an arm around Neji's shoulder, much to the latter's chagrin, "You thought she was more like you than like me, didn't you?" He asked, "It was the kimono, right?"

Yes. Appearances were deceiving, it seemed. Then again, Neji now figured Haku was one of Naruto's mercenary friends, "She seems so reserved and polite. I was really getting along with her," He lamented.

Naruto laughed. It was meant to be with Neji, not at him... but in reality it was at him, "Her dad's such an animal, she's as proper as she is to balance him out," That being said, Haku could easily be just as goofy as Naruto. She enjoyed it much of the time, "Haku lives more like me than like you. She just isn't as..."

"-Obnoxious about it?" Neji finished in Naruto's stead, slowly accepting that this was the way things would be today, "Well, that's fine, I guess. And she can fight effectively in this tournament?" He asked, peeling Naruto's arm off of him.

Oh, if only he knew. Naruto shook his head. To be fair, why would Neji know how good Haku really was? He didn't run in their circles, "Let me put it this way. I'm more worried about you pulling your weight than I am about her pulling hers," It was then that Naruto saw familiar figures making their way through the crowd, "...Why are your cousins here?"

Neji quickly activated his Byakugan and with it saw two more people coming their way using their own, "Ah. My family wants to watch me compete. My father and uncle are here as well."

Naruto wanted to yell. This wasn't the time for the family to come down to cheer someone on. Even though it would help their cover, it was dangerous. If something happened to Hinata and Hanabi on a mission he was supposed to keep hush-hush, He would never forgive himself.

Then again, it wasn't Neji's fault. He didn't know. As far as Naruto told him, the only notable thing happening was the tournament he recruited him to fight in.

Well, if everything went well, a fighting event was all they would see. Besides, it was always nice to see Hinata and Hanabi, Naruto's two favorite rich girls.

As they saw them coming, Naruto and Neji headed their way to meet them in the middle. Hanabi jumped around in place when got close enough to confirm Naruto was present and dashed over for a big hug. Naruto was all too happy to oblige, "Hey, Princess! Hey little Tsukime-chan!"

Hanabi placed her head against Naruto's stomach, squeezing him tight around the waist, "Naruto-oniisama! What are you doing here?"

Naruto laughed and ran a hand through Hanabi's silky hair, "I'm your cousin's teammate. I'm sure he told you all about it."

Hanabi pulled away and looked up at Naruto with a furrowed brow, "No. He never mentioned you at all."

Naruto turned his head slowly to give Neji a deadpan look. The older aristocratic fighter didn't apologize, "I did tell them that one of my partners is an idiot."

Hinata smacked Neji lightly on the arm, "Be nice to Naruto-kun. You know he's good to us," She walked over to embrace Naruto as well, good friend that he was, "How have you been?"

"I'm doing fine, Princess. Last time I saw you, you were asleep in my house."

Neji immediately glowered at the reminder of the party that he should have prevented Hinata from attending, "We don't talk about that."

"Yes we do," Naruto shot back, turning all of his attention to Hinata, "Deputy told me to tell you he wished he remembered more of the party, because he liked the parts he could piece together."

What went unsaid was that most of what he could remember was that he had spent a lot of the night with Hinata. She knew this, and turned ruby red as she came to that conclusion, "I remember having fun, and Neji-niisan hitting Sasuke-kun," She finished with a small glare Neji's way, "I'm still upset with him for that. He didn't do anything."

"I regret nothing."

"Of course, you don't."

Hanabi looked over at her sister and tugged Naruto's arm to pull his ear down closer to whisper to, "Does Hinata-neesan have a boyfriend, nii-sama?"

Well, she could, if she stopped being shy enough to make a move, or if Sasuke stopped being so passive when it came to his personal relationships, "That's up to her and him."

A strong, composed voice interjected, "I wasn't aware Hinata had any suitors that I didn't arrange," The teenagers turned to see the regal forms of twin brothers Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuuga approaching, "Hello, Uzumaki-san. We meet again," The eldest brother said.

Naruto Uzumaki called no man master, and would never openly admit to fearing anyone, even to himself. But even he had to tell himself, there was something imposing about the two most prominent figures of the Hyuuga Clan. Where Hinata and Hanabi's eyes held softness, where Neji's eyes held youth and confidence, the eyes of these men were hard and uncompromising, reflected nothing.

He could usually read whether or not someone liked him fairly quickly after meeting them. He had run-ins with Hiashi and Hizashi several times already and still couldn't really tell one way or the other. They probably tolerated him because of Hinata and Hanabi though, which was good enough for him. If being friendly wasn't available, cordiality would do.

Naruto greeted the older Hyuugas and stood back to let the family talk to Neji. It was probably some last minute advice and well-wishes before he went off to prepare to compete. That was nice. It was good to see that even a salty S.O.B. like Neji had people who cared about him and were proud of him. There would be plenty to be proud of.

After all, the only concern Naruto, Neji, and Haku had was to fight. The real mission was up to the adults.

"This whole thing's gonna be a blast," Naruto said to himself.

Merry… whatever holiday you guys just so happen to celebrate on the back end of December. Oh, and Happy New Year. New Year's Eve is also known as one of the many sanctioned drinking days on the American calendar, so I will absolutely be getting turnt that night. One of three days out of the year I tend to do it. (New Year's, my birthday, and depending if I work that day, St. Patrick's Day)

If you plan on following suit come New Year's Eve, please be careful, be safe, be smart, and woe be to you if you have to work the next day with a hangover.

Listen to old uncle Kenchi. With all of the mistakes he's made, you can learn from his example! But that's fine. All of my mistakes have made me a more invincible version of myself, so it all works out!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. I'll be back with more eventually.

Kenchi out.