Chapter 23

Stephanie dropped to the bench with a weary sigh pushing down on the handle on her small black suitcase. As it rested at the side of her feet, she stretched her legs a little and briefly glanced up at the big clock on the opposite wall. The hands felt like they were mocking her predicament as the seconds ticked by almost in slow motion, reminding her that she had a long five hours to wait before the ticket counter would open and she would be safely on the first bus back to Boston. Back to a life she had been perfectly content with; or at least she had been before she had made this trip. Then Paul had come along with the possibility of something really amazing.

Pressing her lips together tightly, Stephanie tried not to think of any of that as her blue eyes swept over the deserted bus station. She noticed a young couple sitting over in the far corner huddled against one another fast asleep. She took little solace in the fact she wasn't the only person trying to travel at such a ridiculous time of night. She even felt a little envious that they had each other and wondered what they were doing here so late. Maybe they had missed their last bus or maybe they were trying to escape this place just like she was. God knows she was desperate just to go home although in all honesty right now she wasn't sure where that was anymore. Home was supposed to be where your heart was and she knew her heart was here, with one person only. Paul. Leaving him felt like she was leaving a huge piece of her heart behind; the piece of her heart that would always be with him. But she had no choice but to go. All her options had disappeared the second she had made the decision to omit the truth about her relationship with Ethan.

Stephanie leaned forward with a heavy sigh, resting her elbows on her knees as she stared down miserably at the linoleum floor. Her loose ponytail fell around her neck and the knots of guilt twisted in her chest as she thought about the man she had so easily forgotten the last few days. Ethan was so sweet and kind and sincere. He was such a lovely person. He didn't deserve her lies and her betrayal. That's why she was going to be completely honest with him and end it the second she got back to Boston. He deserved to be truly happy. He deserved to be with someone that wasn't her, someone that would love him and really care for him. She just wasn't that person any more. She could never be with him now and settle for less.

Stephanie felt her eyes gloss over with her tears as she remembered those were the same words she had hastily scribbled down in her letter to Paul.

"You've made me realise what I could have in my life. Being with you has taught me that I can't settle for any less."

And it was true. What she had felt with Paul had been so wonderful and exciting and she had never felt so much or been so overwhelmed by someone like that before. What she felt for him was so incredible and real. So real she knew she would never find anything like it again. She knew those kind of feelings only came by once in a lifetime if you were really lucky. Her luck had officially run out tonight. The second Paul had confronted her, she knew it was over. He had been so angry with her and not only that, he had been hurt too. Hurt by her and hurt by her inability to be completely honest with him. Even now, she could still see the pain in his eyes. It was a pain that meant he would probably never ever forgive her mistake.

But honestly, while she understood that, she also felt pretty hurt and angry too because not only was she paying for her mistake, she knew she was also paying for Andrea's lies and betrayal. That bitch had screwed him up so badly Paul couldn't let himself trust her when she had told it was over with Ethan. Instead he had been perfectly content to tar her with the same brush as Andrea. He obviously couldn't see she would never break his heart like that. She loved him too much. Something inside her told her that Paul just might love her too but she would never find out. Not when he refused to take the chance on them. He just wasn't prepared to put himself out there one more time and the simple fact of the matter was he was terrified of getting hurt again.

Pushing her hands through her hair, Stephanie felt the dull ache in her chest. She now knew what a broken heart felt like too. This was the last time she got personally involved in business. What the hell had she been thinking agreeing to this in the first place? It was against all her professional rules and now she knew why. She should never have let Paul talk her into coming here. Instead she'd been suckered in with the allure of his generous payment. Although who was she kidding? This had never been about the money. That's why she had never cashed that damn cheque. From the moment she had met Paul, there had been something about him that pulled her to him. The second she had heard his soft, deep voice, the hairs had stood up on the back of her neck. And when he had smiled at her, her knees had gone weak and there had been a strange sensation in her chest.

"Hey."

As if on cue, her chest fluttered madly and Stephanie dropped her hands stunned by the familiar low tone. She slowly raised her head, her mouth falling open in surprise as she saw him standing there in front of her. She swore he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life.

"Paul?" she breathed, her eyes blinking in disbelief. "Where...what are you doing here?"

His handsome face gave nothing away as he stood there, his big hands stuffed inside his trouser pockets. Even his eyes were a mystery to her as they narrowly avoided her surprised gaze.

"Honestly? I have no idea."

Stephanie tried not to feel the little flicker of hope as she slowly got to her feet, somehow finding it in herself to stand and face him without her legs giving way beneath her. They were actually trembling. God, she couldn't believe Paul was here. But why was he here? She couldn't let herself believe that just maybe he had come for her.

"So, are you really planning on taking off like this?" he asked, his brown eyes eventually drifting over her and she swallowed thickly as she lifted her shoulder in a shrug.

"Well I don't exactly have an option now, do I?"

Paul's gaze regarded her for a brief second before he tilted his head to the floor. Stephanie sighed sadly wishing he would just look at her, like really look at her so she had an idea of what he was thinking. She couldn't help but hope that the fact Paul was here really meant something. After all, he had no other reason to be here other than the fact he came looking for her. But why he had come looking for her?

Licking her lips, Stephanie felt her heart race as she hardly dared to trust the voice in her head telling her that this might not be over. That there was the tiny chance they could work this whole thing out.

"You know I had it all figured out." she admitted softly as she clasped her hands together in front of her and watched Paul's head lift ever so slowly.

"What?"

Stephanie bit down on her lip, the wrinkles creasing in her forehead as she glanced at her shoes. "What I would say to you if I got lucky enough to ever find you again."

There was a beat and her words seemed to hang in the air of the silent bus station as she pressed her lips together, trying hard to compose herself. The tears were burning the back of her throat. She had to try and not completely fall apart right now. She needed a chance to explain everything and pray Paul was prepared to listen this time. And the fact that he was here right now told her there was every chance that he just might.

Feeling encouraged by that, Stephanie slowly lifted her head. Paul's brown eyes were watching her intently and she swallowed thickly under the weight of his piercing stare.

"Well you've found me." he told her matter-of-factly

"Yeah I have." she replied, the corner of her mouth lifting in a hesitant smile as she exhaled calmly. She swore she was trembling all over, her nerves completely shot. "I can't believe you actually came here to look for me."

"Yeah well, I'm not sure why I did exactly."

But as her big blue eyes stared back at him, Paul knew that was a lie. Standing here in front of her, he knew why he had come. He couldn't let Stephanie go. Not just yet. Not without at least hearing what she had to say. He figured he owed her that much. He had been completely wrong just walking away from her and making the assumption she was capable of lies and blatant dishonesty just like Andrea had been. And deep down, maybe he was hoping she would say something, anything that would help him find that leap of faith to believe her and trust in her and what they had. God knows he wanted to especially reading that note she had left.

"I never expected to come here and discover the possibility of you."

He hadn't expected it either and part of him was scared to just let that possibility go knowing it might never exist for him again. He couldn't shake the feeling that if he let Stephanie in, this might turn out to be something great; something really great.

"I'm so sorry, Paul. This whole thing is entirely my fault and there's no excuse for not telling you there was someone else."

Stephanie's voice wavered with emotion and she sniffed as she pushed back a few loose strands that had escaped from her messy ponytail.

"I guess I just got swept away by you and what I felt for you. I forgot this whole other world existed. A world where I wasn't actually your girlfriend and a world where I didn't get to wake up and fall asleep in your arms because that's where I want to be, you know. Waking up and falling asleep every single day with you."

Her ocean blue pools were shining, brimming with her unshed tears as she pressed her lips together struggling to control her emotions as she glanced around the empty terminal, not able to look at Paul or see the cold indifference she dreaded he might feel despite her heart felt words.

"I know I'll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you or for totally ruining any chance we had of making this work." she said regretfully.

Stephanie was completely unaware that Paul's facial expression had shifted, softening under the dim lights of the terminal.

"And what makes you so sure you've ruined this?"

Her wet eyes shot back in his direction, not quite daring to believe what he might be telling her. The blood was beating in her ears as she stood there watching him waiting for him to continue.

"Look, I don't know what's happening here or if we really do have a shot together." sighed Paul as his big hand lifted to nervously rake through his blonde hair. "I just know I can't throw it all away like this, whatever it is that's happening between us."

Stephanie's lips curved up in a slow, watery smile unaware that just that simple action wrecked him inside.

"Well you know this really amazing guy once told me that there's no rush to figure anything out. We can take the time to just be us."

Paul nodded absently as he stared gently back at her. She saw a myriad of emotions swimming in his deep brown pools mirroring the internal battle that raged on inside him. She knew this wasn't easy for him. Despite his grand gesture in coming here, Paul was still confused and scared about this. She could almost sense his hesitancy to trust her words in his desperation to protect himself. It appeared Andrea had really pulled a number on him but it was up to her to try and convince him to at least give her a shot and let her prove to him she was nothing like that spiteful bitch.

"It's over with Ethan, Paul. I swear that to you."

Stephanie reached out tentatively for his hand. He didn't flinch away and she let her fingers gently curl around the tips of long digits.

"You can trust me. I'm not Andrea. I'm not going to hurt you. I never could."

She paused feeling her composure shake as she looked up at him, a tear finally slipping from her lashes to fall down her cheek.

"Not when I'm this crazy about you." she whispered, her lips twitching with her shy admission.

Paul swore his heart melted as her big wide eyes stared back at him. There was no doubting the sincerity they held and slowly he felt his earlier hesitation slip away as he realised he believed her. More importantly than that, he trusted that her words were the absolute truth. Stephanie wasn't Andrea. She never would be and he had been an idiot for even thinking she would try to deceive him. And okay, she hadn't been honest about already being in a relationship but this had all happened so quickly and unexpectedly. They had barely had time to catch their breath never mind anything else. After all, this was supposed to be just business. Falling for one another hadn't been part of the bargain so did he really have the right to be upset that she had kept her personal life from him? And she had been planning to tell him everything tonight. At least that's what Lynn had told him. She had also told him things were over between Stephanie and that other guy. Stephanie had seemed pretty sure about that too and he really had no reason to doubt her other than his need to protect himself. And his anger had probably been nothing but a convenient bluff anyway. The truth was he was scared to death about this. If Stephanie hurt him, he knew it would totally end him.

But Paul's silent contemplation was cut short as he heard the delighted voice behind him.

"Stephanie, you're here! Thank God!"

He rolled his eyes and his fingers slipped from Stephanie's as he turned to scowl at his sister. "I thought I told you to stay in the car."

"Yeah well I was freezing my butt off not to mention I need the bathroom." Lynn's heavy brown eyes narrowed in disapproval in her brother's direction. "I'm pregnant, Paul. You try holding it in while your baby squeezes down your bladder."

His nose crinkled with his grimace. "Okay. Well, that was a little more information than I was looking for."

Lynn chuckled at his obvious discomfort. "What? You can't handle a little bladder pressure? God help the woman you have children with."

Suddenly her forehead crinkled as she hopped from foot to foot.

"Shit! This is getting serious. Where are the bathrooms in this place?"

Paul rolled his eyes as Stephanie gestured just ahead of them.

"There's a sign just down there to your right."

"Then wait here. I'll be back in a second."

His face flickered with amusement as he watched Lynn rush across in that direction.

"Sorry about that." he smiled as he turned back to Stephanie.

"Hey, when you've got to go, you've got to go, right?" she chuckled albeit a little nervously.

"Apparently so."

Stephanie lifted her hand behind her head, adjusting her ponytail. As her arm fell to her side, her expression had turned serious as she wrapped her arms almost protectively around herself.

"Anyway I just want to say thank you."

Paul's brow furrowed with his confusion. "What for?"

"For giving me the chance to explain things to you." she said. "I know I would have regretted leaving when I really felt like there was a lot left unsaid between us."

He nodded. "Me too."

"Not I expect it to change anything. I mean, how could it? I still hurt you and I still withheld the truth about….."

Stephanie's words were quickly silenced by Paul's lips as he wrapped his arms tight around her, sweeping her up in a passionate kiss. Her heart began to pound madly as she kissed him back, her fingers tangling his hair and pressing him even closer. She couldn't get him close enough as his tongue delved into the heat of her mouth, brushing temptingly against hers. Her whole body was tingling and her head felt like it was spinning with his embrace.

When they eventually broke apart, she could barely catch her breath as Paul's hand lifted to push back her messy strands. His brown eyes entranced her, making her feel a little dizzy.

"For what it's worth, I'm crazy about you too." he admitted softly.

Stephanie couldn't contain her happiness as she felt her whole face erupt with her elated grin.

"So maybe when we get home we can still have that dinner and see where it takes us?" he asked her almost shyly.

Her grin faded to a soft smile as she slowly nodded her head.

"So I take it you two have made up then."

Paul groaned at Lynn's interruption but Stephanie could see the affectionate twinkle in his eyes as he turned to look at her.

"Like you weren't eavesdropping on every single word from over there?"

"Not every single word." she smiled. "You know I can't wait to see bitch face's face when you two walk hand in hand into that church tomorrow."

Lynn saw Stephanie's tentative expression and her brow furrowed curiously in her direction.

"You are still coming aren't you?" she asked.

Stephanie quickly glanced at Paul unsurely. But she didn't have to wait long for his response as he winked at her making her heart flip in her chest. Her blue eyes sparkled with delight as they turned to settle on Lynn.

"Trust me. I wouldn't miss it for the world." she grinned.