Title: One Dewy Morn' or The Day Missing from the Brig's Book of Life

Authors: Tu as Three, Jo, and Benton, Demon as Delgado!Master and the Brigadier

Rating: M for strange weather patterns at inopportune moments

Summary: The third and final installment of our EPIC Three/Delgado!Master RP trilogy. And, no matter how hard we wibbled at the beginning, we always end up at the same crack and fluff we know and love. Hope you've enjoyed.

Warnings: BRIG!ABUSE, SO MUCH BRIG!ABUSE, rather explicit secksy-tiem, mild OOC, thick!Three (ACK! NOT… erg…), panic!Jo

Doctor: *closes his eyes a little tighter against the sunlight and cuddles closer to the warm body next to him, it's chilly, smells foggy and there doesn't seem to be enough blanket*... *wakes up enough to hide his face a little from the light, in the Master's hair* *grumblewhines* Jamie, turnitoff--*little snore as he settles back into his dream*

Master: *hmmph* *wraps the Doctor's arm tighter around him* *realizes that he just grabbed someone's arm* *opens eyes* *sees arm* *realizes it must be attached to a body* *looks behind him* *...* *stares for a moment* *with great restraint, manages to make no noise at all* *lies back down and attempts to remember WHAT THE HELL happened last night*

Doctor: *freezes as soon as he feels the Master shift, he was having a very pleasant dream, but now that he's this close to consciousness he can't ignore all the things wrong with the situation* *little, muffled groan, because it was such a nice calm morning* *slowly stretches and reluctantly opens one eye* *snaps to consciousness and struggles to cover himself with his jacket--so that's why the blanket seemed so small...* What--!? What in the name of every system are YOU doing-- *noticing just how naked they both are* What have you done to me?!

Master: *rolls over* What have I done to YOU?! *didn't notice quite HOW naked the Doctor was before...* *snaps out of it before he notices (hopefully)* My dear Doctor, I haven't the faintest idea how we came to be in this situation but I'm perfectly sure that YOU dragged me into it.

Doctor: *scoffs* A likely story, this is JUST the sort of thing you're desperate and depraved enough to attempt-- do you mind? *turns, trying to get a hold of some of his dignity while covering himself as well as he can* Though I thought even you had scruples enough to avoid anything so... base

Master: You think I'M to blame for this situation?! *notices they have yet to scoot away from each other, despite the nakedness* My clothes aren't even here! What possible advantage could I have had in this situation, or point at all, might I ask? *is SO going to make him say it*

Doctor: *eyebrow quirk* My dear fellow, it is obvious, even to a human, that you are some what... shall we say...infatuated with me *looks down pointedly to where they're still touching* *moves away to look for his shirt* Though up until this point I would not have imagined you so desperate

Master: Is that so Doctor? Then why did I wake up with your arms around me? *looks into the backseat in case that's where their clothes ended up*

Doctor: *slightly flustered* Clearly I was not in my right mind, I can't remember anything after... *horrified gasp* oh, Rassilon, Omega and the Other-- *has found his shirt* What did you DO to me?

Master: *glances at the shirt* *snickers slightly* I always did think you looked a bit of a poof in it... You know I can't remember anything either, Doctor *frowns* Perhaps some terrible third party was taunting us...

Doctor *puts down the ruined shirt with an absolutely poisonous glare* You are not seriously suggesting that some alien presence forced us to--to *frustrated shirt-fling as he goes after his trousers* you've been spending too much time in the Matrix

Master: *smug!grin* And why is that such a horrific possibility? Would you rather believe that we... *glances at the rather stained shirt* of our own free will?

Doctor: *goes a little pink* No, of COURSE not! Of all the childish--HERE *tosses the tie he's just found at him, a little more violently than is necessary*

Master: *catches tie* Oh good, while I'm otherwise completely naked I'll at least be able to clothe my neck... *tries not to watch the Doctor bending over*

Doctor: *tries to ignore the fact that he can feel the Master staring* *rummages around before finding a pair of trousers* Yours, I believe...Ah hah! *unwilling to wait to find his pants, slips on the pair of black trousers he just found stuffed almost completely under the seat* That's better, *with one last, longing look at his ruined shirt, slides on his jacket over his bare chest. Hopefully he can sneak into his TARDIS to change before anyone notices*

Master: *is tempted to point out that because those pants are too small for him they REALLY aren't helping* I see... you want to get dressed, but you'd rather keep me naked... *reclining on the seats in the back, isn't even looking anymore* Really Doctor, how ARE you going to explain this?

Doctor: *focusing on buttoning his trousers, not going to look at the Master, not going to give him the satisfaction, not going to--Rassilon* I don't plan on explaining it. *retrieves a rumpled but relatively clean shirt from beneath the driver's seat* As far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen! *clears throat, calms himself, still holding the Master's shirt* I--I will, of course, look into the matter back at Unit, and attempt to recover my memories... *sends mixed messages*

Master: *leans forward, under the pretext of taking the shirt* Are you saying you... want to remember? *brushes the Doctor's hand accidentally!on-purpose as he takes the shirt*

Doctor: *stays far too still as the Master touched him, shivering slightly before jerking away* I like to keep my mind intact, when at all possible. *looks around for his socks, determined not to watch the other man dress* Especially given my situation, I'm sure you understand

Master: Yes, yes, I suppose... *buttons shirt* you know I could... look for you... in case something was locked

Doctor: *straightens up suddenly at that* No. *cold, tightlipped scowl* No, I feel I have been violated enough for the time being, wouldn't you agree? *has managed to get his shoes on* *starts the engine perfectly calmly, not even looking to see if the Master's finished dressing*

Master: *pouts* *tries not to feel hurt* *feels hurt* Hold on, what's this... *sees something small and gleaming on the floor of the backseat* *picks it up* Doctor! *slightly furious now*

Doctor: *is trying to get them out of the ditch, getting fairly into it and slamming the pedal down* *still seething* Yes, what is it now?

Master: How do you explain THIS on the floor of your car then? *holds out the aspirin tablet*

Doctor: *manages to get them out of the ditch with only slight jostling* Hmm? What have you got-- *stops them in the road and reaches out to take it* *drops it, eyes wide* What are you doing with aspirin, you know perfectly well the effects that would-- *sudden, horrifying conclusion* You must have been planning to kill me! *Oh, of course, it wouldn't be the first time, but poisoning is so impersonal and so--so-- unlike him* Killing me in my sleep, I knew you hated me but I honestly never thought-- *trying not to sound hurt* *contemplates kicking him out and making him walk*

Master: *splutters* HATE you?! My dear Doctor, I-! *realizes it would be a VERY BAD idea to finish that sentence* Well anyway, how do I know YOU didn't bring it to kill me? *judgment!brow*

Doctor: Kill you? *honestly shocked, to the point that, if he were driving, they might have ended up in another ditch* *shakes it off* don't be preposterous, I never would. *Because he disapproves of senseless violence, of course, not simply because the Master is... the Master* *swallows* *starts the engine once more*

Master: *raises eyebrow* So why IS there aspirin in your car then? *sits back down, sighs* Neither of us can remember anything from last night, there is aspirin, and we both woke up naked... *will not add 'in each others arms', will not add 'in each other's arms', will not... WILL NOT!*

Doctor: *eyebrows hiding in his hair, focusing on the road* ... in each other's arms. Yes, I admit, your suggestion of third party involvement may not be so far fetched after all

Master: *slightly touched that he managed to say it* *small smile that he knows the Doctor can see* It may not... perhaps I was trying to kill you and you... convinced me not to *is really just saying this for his own amusement, doesn't believe it for a second*

Doctor: *slightly softened by the Master's reaction to his accusation of hating him, and calmed by having Bessie back on the road* My dear fellow, if you had your mind set on killing me for good, I hardly think you would have let yourself be distracted by my...*coughs* *really shouldn't be going there* Yes, well. Besides, aspirin? It lacks your usual flair

Master: So you HAVE given up your belief that I was trying to kill you? What a comfort. *it actually is* *smiles again* *whatever happened last night, even if he can't remember it, he's glad it happened*

Doctor: *slightly flustered* Yes, well, poisoning me in my sleep after an ill-conceived rendezvous is poor planning, even for you. Especially since you appear to have drifted off as well-- *bites back a remark about stamina and their days at the Academy... it's far too easy to forget that this man is not Koschei*

Master: *sniffs* No doubt after a long and sweaty struggle through the night... *will not look at the Doctor, will not look at the Doctor, will not-- Rassilon* *blush*

Doctor: *chokes* *manages not to drive them off the road again* No doubt. *quietly* Though I'm hardly sore... Now, where have you left your TARDIS this time, hmm? Disguised as the Brigadier's dresser or something equally inventive?

Master: *gulps* *STAAAAAARES* *is going to ignore the implications of that* *or TRY to...* *trying REALLY REALLY hard* *FAILING really really hard* I'm sorry Doctor, what was the question?

Doctor: *slightly exasperated* Your TARDIS, or were you planning on staying on as my scientific advisor *Decides that the look he just gave the Master was NOT a leer... he was just...uhm... seeing if he'd got his trousers on* *No, Rassilon, that's WORSE*

Master: *recovers himself* *smirks slightly at the Doctor's leer* Well Doctor, I suppose you do need as much technical help as you can get... *would not secretly love just helping the Doctor mend his TARDIS and then flying all around the galaxy with him*

Doctor: *slightly thrown by how easily he accepted--or nearly accepted the offer--or almost offer* Mocking my technical skills? Unwise. *decides to call him on it, before this can get out of hand* I'll just take you back to Unit, then, shall I?

Master: Doctor, hadn't we already established that I... well, that I would fix some of your design problems back at UNIT? *knows they've already been through this run around once before and really doesn't want it to end the same way*

Doctor: Yes... *not brooding, just thinking while he negotiates a particularly tricky bit of straight roadway* Yes, but after this... incident, we can hardly just-- can we? Besides, *changing the subject quickly* cooped up at Unit, dealing with the Brigadier and life on a single planet, you would hardly want to put yourself through that when you have the option of escape *not bitter* *speeds up significantly*

Master: *leans forward, could always claim he was thrown forward* Yes, but if you were listening when we discussed this... I included trips in the TARDIS if... *leans back again, he can't say it twice*

Doctor: If? If I play by your rules, wasn't that it? *really needs to find a nice, quiet corner of one of the storage rooms and meditate for a bit* If is a powerful word, and after... this I'm not entirely sure that's wise

Master: You really do have the dullest of memories, don't you? *can't believe he doesn't remember this* *groaning* Doctor... *in a low voice than can hardly be heard over the engine and the wind* please, don't make me say it again...

Doctor: *little shiver that he can and will blame on the early morning wind* *softly, resisting the urge to close his eyes as that would most likely land them in the middle of a field* I'd quite like to hear it.

Master: *clenches fist, he knows the Doctor takes it for granted that he'll do anything for him* *weighs the pros and cons of denying him...* *just a little infuriated with the smug bastard, but inevitably, can't say no* *gets right up close to the Doctor, and in his ear, whispers* if you let me stay... *pulls away quickly, pretending that wasn't almost intimate*

Doctor: *shivers at the feeling of the Master's breath on his ear* *NOT letting him get away that easily* *darts out quickly, grabbing him by the collar. Venusian Aikido does wonders for the reflexes* *pulls him into a rough kiss, not particularly caring that he should be watching the road and that anyone driving the other way will get an eyeful* *softly* I still need to know what happened...

Master: *was not totally willing to be swept away by that kiss* *in fact, would enjoy crashing this car if it meant they died together in each other's embrace...* *SNAPS OUT OF IT* *actually manages to hear what the Doctor said* *weary sigh* And you're sure you wouldn't let me... *looks him in the eye, almost pleading*

Doctor: *doesn't manage to hide just how uncertain and, yes, frightened this whole situation has made him* *turns his attention back to the road in time to avoid sending them through a fence* *takes the curve a little faster than he would have liked* Let's focus on getting back to Unit and finding out what did this to us, hm?

Master: Very well... *because he's hurt* So you wanted to give me one last snog before you turned me in?

Doctor: *licks his lips slightly... realizes what he's doing and stops* Of course not, nothing of the sort!

Master: *notices the lick* *tries not to feel flattered/aroused/tempted* Really? You sound so sincere... yes, I think I see it now, kissing me to distract me from your real motivation...

Doctor: *resisting the urge to do something terribly immature like roll his eyes* Honestly, your tendency towards the dramatic is going to trip you up one of these days. If I were going to let Unit have their way with you I would have done so when you first blundered into their custody

Master: *ignoring him* Distracting me with your chest, a little juvenile, don't you think? *unsubtle!bare-chest!grope* *nuzzles the back of the Doctor's neck, and again, really doesn't care if they drive off the road*

Doctor: No-- I mean, yes, but I am not attempting to-- I could hardly wear my shirt in its current-- do you mind! *swerves and squirms slightly*

Master: *chuckling* You like it... *moving his hands in small circles* Or pull over and prove to me you don't...

Doctor: *swears in Gallifreyan, under his breath, because his hand did twitch on the wheel* Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you? *glares at the road, doesn't shift away*

Master: Oh, yes please... *kisses down the Doctor's neck*

Doctor: Oh-- *shivers but doesn't pull away* stop it, can't you see I'm trying to drive?

Master: Yet another good reason to pull over... *doesn't stop*

Doctor: *unamused, warning tone* Master...

Master: *groans pathetically, indulging himself* *leaves his breath tingling on the back of the Doctor's neck and withdraws to the backseat again* You'll regret not pulling over...

Doctor: I will, will I? *shifts, grumbling and trying to regain his composure*

Master: *stares at the back of his head, knowing it's making him uncomfortable* Oh yes, I daresay you will. *slightly smug*

Doctor: *shifts uncomfortably, trying to ignore him while not ignoring him, because ignoring the Master is dangerous* *hums to himself a bit* *taps the wheel* *can't take it any more* ... will you STOP that!

Master: *tries not to laugh* *snorts uncontrollably* Doctor you know me well enough to know I have a thousand other tricks to annoy you... one of the hazards of taking a road trip with a childhood friend. *winks*

Doctor: That's as may be, but I hardly think you'd resort to something so juvenile

Master: Who was being juvenile? I was being nostalgic. *small smile*

Doctor: *swallows* Yes, well, I suppose you were being both. *stubborn*

Master: Ah, Doctor... you know, this could almost be called pleasant... if not for the fact that we're both half naked and have no idea how we came to be in this state of affairs *really kinda wishing for those memories now as he really is starting to believe that they did have a gay old romp in Bessie, emphasis on the happy part of gay...* *can't remember the last time he and the Doctor were so at peace with each other, if you can call this that, and he's pretty sure the LAST time things were so stable was after...* *almost glows at the memory*