A/N: Here's your fluff

Epilogue

The sky is cerulean blue and littered with white cumulus clouds. The perfect spring day, the weather is warm and the gentle breeze is perfect. I close my eyes for a moment and just imagine sitting here with him. Enjoying this perfect moment with the one I left behind. I sigh and try to push the thought away, looking back to the sky.

I hate being away from my work. It leaves me to my own devices and as of late that has generally been daydreaming of him.

It's a useless tool really, daydreaming. Most of the time daydreams, mine at least, leave me with nothing but sadness and regret. The same as my dreams. Cruel dreams of his reflective brown eyes full of devotion and trust. Even after years of separation I still dream of him. After several, purely sexual, encounters I still ache for him.

'The one that got away.' By my own doing no less.

I hear the soft footfalls of someone approaching moments before the creak of the worn wooden bench I'm inhabiting.

I wonder who it is? I should look, but the sky is so beautiful today. Does it really matter why they are here even if it is to do me bodily harm? I have successors to take my place should the need arise. I can't shake my curiosity, which could very well be what will end me.

I can't do it, I need to see.

His hair is longer than I remember, not quite brushing his shoulders, still just as impeccable.

Oh, no. When did I become delusional? Have I really deteriorated so much to be seeing things? My heart beats strongly in my throat and makes it hard to swallow.

"Nice day," his voice is deeper, not by much, just enough to notice. I probably shouldn't speak; it's always strange to see someone talking to themselves. But if he is real it would be impolite to say nothing.

"Yes," I say, making sure it sounds as though I am speaking to myself. My thumb rests between my lips and I look back to the sky.

Every one of Light's features is ingrained in my mind, from the small mole on his left shoulder blade to the childhood scars on his knees. Why doesn't my hallucination look and sound like my memory of Light?

"I've been waiting for you."

Instantly my gaze is fixed on him and the first thing I see are his honey-brown eyes, half hidden by auburn hair, watching me. There's so much of him in them. It's as if he's baring his soul to me. I don't want to see him like this. This is how he always was, even as I was breaking his heart. I won't be able to resist the temptation, I don't want this right now.

"Watari told me you would be here," my figment Light explains. It is strange though, Watari has been in none of my daydreams before now. I turn my gaze back to the sky, I don't wish to see those eyes nor the soul reflecting through them.

The silence builds, stretches, and settles.

"Ryuzaki, please look at me."

No. I will not. He's not real. If I just keep watching the sky will he leave me be?

"L," a soft whisper on his lips and then his gentle fingers brush my hair out of my face and tuck it behind my ear. "Speak to me," a soft plea.

"It's generally considered taboo to talk to oneself aloud," I inform him. Silence follows my statement. Is that all it took for the figment to disappear? I look again.

No such luck.

His brows are furrowed, one higher than the other, watching me with a bewilderment I don't know if I've ever seen on his face before.

His shoulders shake with his deep sudden breaths and at first I think they are sobs, but their timing quickly grows closer until Light begin outright laughing me. The last thing I had been expecting was for him to laugh at me. In fact he laughed like this so infrequently in our time together that I'm not sure I would have remembered the sound. Almost as quickly as the laugh built up it begins to fade and he smiles at me. It's the smile he reserves only for me. It's exactly how I remember.

"Watari did not inform me," I tell him.

"Hm, strange," he replies, continuing to watch me, a soft smile curving the corners of his lips. His tongue darts out to gently stroke his bottom lip and I cannot take my eyes off the lithe muscle and desirable lips. It does not escape his notice.

"Would you like to go somewhere? Just the two of us," his voice is a low purr.

Yes.

"That would not be wise. Light-kun, you have not changed at all," I inform him with a disapproving scowl. "Your efforts are all for naught if you came all this way to try to get into bed with me," I inform him. He shrugs unashamed.

"I'm merely willing to do whatever it takes to get you to listen to me."

"I have always listened to you," I tell him.

"I know. You just don't like to listen when it really matters. You can be so stubborn."

"Hm," I agree without words and turn my eyes back to the sky.

This is my fatal mistake.

In one swift movement Light is in front of me, hands cupping my face and his lips are on mine. We kiss slowly, lips moving languidly in a familiar dance. Lips yield and I feel his supple tongue against mine. I don't notice when my feet slip off the bench or when he crawls astride my lap. All I know is when we break our kiss Light is in my lap and his hands are buried in my hair, cradling my head, and my arms are wrapped around him holding him close.

It suddenly doesn't matter if he is a hallucination. I want him in my bed naked, aroused and pleading. I want him in my kitchen in the morning, sharing a morning cup of coffee and snuggled up to me at night. It doesn't matter that Light had been Kira because I want him.

He dips his head again and we share another slow, passionate kiss.

I am a junkie and Light is my fix.

"Get a room!" and I remember where I am. I push at him and he quickly slides off my lap.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," he apologizes and sits next to me. I nod in acceptance and glance at the child that yelled at us. At least now I no longer have to worry about him not being real.

"Perhaps we should move to somewhere more private," I say thoughtfully and stand.

"Wait," he says and I obey. "I want to talk about us first."

"There is no 'us,' Light-kun," I inform him automatically while climbing back into my sitting crouch next to him. An offended and pained look flashes across his face and I regret my choice of words instantly.

"There could be," he offers, almost a whisper. I open my mouth to speak and he cuts me off. "And don't give me that 'I can't trust you,' shit either," practically snarled at me.

"I wasn't" I inform him with an amused smirk. It's entertaining to see how quickly his anger transforms to surprise. "I was going to say that either your feelings are very strong to have traveled this far after we've been separated so long, or very misguided."

"As long as I'm happy does it matter what the why is?" Light questions speculatively.

I can't stop myself from baiting him.

"Well, when one starts killing-"

"As it pertains to us," he snaps, then adds as a precaution, "in a romantic relationship."

"As long as you are willing to leave if you stop being happy," I answer. He smiles at me. It's his charming, lying smile.

"Alright, I will," he agrees.

I want to contest this and make him understand how it important it is that he listens to me. But it's not a battle I wish to face right this moment. I will have to save it for later.

"Do you have a room here?" he questions, glancing at the large orphanage behind us.

"I have an office, would Light-kun like a tour?" His half-lidded eyes and seductive smile sends a shudder of arousal through me. He stands and faces me, offering a hand to me. With less than a split second of thought I lay my hand on his and allow him to help me down. His hand is warm and fits mine perfectly.

We walk back to the orphanage in silence, the backs of our hands brushing as we move. I can hardly keep my eyes off of him, I feel as though if I look away too long he'll disappear.

Over the term of my life I've allowed myself a limited list of indulgencies, the most prominent being my consumption of sweets. The only thing that has ever matched said indulgence with such intensity is Light-kun. A dangerous addiction to a man who has the propensity to become just as dangerous given the correct tools. His mind working to the point of predicating even my objectionable methods and actions, which in the end will give him power over me. It's a turn on in so many different ways.

I am just as sick as he is.

oOo

Light's Pov

oOo

I try not to stare at the young boy, white hair half hiding his large dark eyes.

"Professor Liam," the boy's tone is soft, but confident. My brows raise at the name directed at L and I glance surreptitiously at him.

"Why don't you wait inside, Raito-kun?" my mouth curve upwards without my consent as my name slips from his lips in my native language. I nod and continue towards the large oak door, turning the brushed gold lever handle, slipping him one last glance. His dark eyes meet mine and I feel my heart pound and my stomach twist.

I close the door and lean on it, inhaling the scent of the room deeply and resting against the door for one long moment. I wonder briefly at the ability of a smell to rouse such memories and emotions in me. I make my way through the office, noting the soft carpet large oak desk, and placement of the chairs. Two in front of his desk, one large armchair behind it. The walls proudly displaying various degrees and awards, and I wonder at L's aliases and true education. Would I ever learn what truly lay beyond the man's thickly veiled identity?

Probably not. I was Kira, after all.

I bypass the guest chairs for the large armchair, running my hands over its velvet fabric. Even the chair smelled of him. I close my eyes allowing feelings of anticipation to wash over me. My lips widen in a larger grin as I sit in his chair, slouching down and resting my feet on his pristine desk, crossing them at my ankles. I wonder briefly if L will condone surprise office visits, and clandestine meetings during school hours.

I sigh and rest my elbow on the chair's soft arm and rest my chin on my hand. My thoughts become vague and disordered, visions of our coming encounter causing the knot in my stomach to tighten and my chest restrict. I exhale slowly and close my eyes briefly, savoring the feeling. How I missed this feeling of anticipation.

I bite my lip and allow my unhindered hand to rub my growing arousal, hoping fervently that the boy does not accompany him inside.

Finally the door handle begins to turn, and I rest my hand on my abdomen, awaiting my would-be lover.

"I will look into, Near," I hear him say, his tone barely hiding his impatience. Curious, wide, dark eyes peer around L's hunched form to land on me. I can see curiosity blossoms in them and then the door is shut and I hear the lock click. L's back is to me for a long moment and he finally turns around, his eyes widening marginally as they set on me. He smiles, just barely.

"You," he says softly while approaching me, "look like a god."

"Well," I reply in kind, looking at him through my lashes, "I am Kira." He stops for a moment, his face inscrutable.

"Indeed," he murmurs softly, continuing his short journey slouching against the desk next to my feet. He cocks his head and his eyes rake over my form. "Impeccable, as always," he muses softly.

"My greatest strength," I inform him, lowering my feet to the ground and standing before him. I move closer to him, my face a mere hairsbreadth from his. I feel desire rush through me, the knot in my stomach beginning to feel like molten fire within me. "Surely you remember," I murmur.

"Quite," he replies, unwilling to close the distance between us. I give in to him and close the distance, lips brushing awkwardly against him. I feel him exhale against my lips and suddenly his arms are around my waist, pulling me closer, lips powerful and relentless against mine. Tempting me to give myself over to him. I am unable to resist.

His hair is soft between my fingers. I take the advantage and grip it tightly, pulling hard, plundering his mouth when he gasps in surprise. He fights back in kind, lips and tongue demanding control.

"Clever tempter," he breathes against my mouth.

"Hn," I sound in agreement, gasping when his mouth trails down my neck. Nips turning into bites, kisses into long licks. He leaves a trail of saliva that cools in the air and causes my skin to prickle. "L," I whisper, and he sighs against my throat.

"I've dreamt of your voice, Light," he sighs against my skin, his fingers unbuckling my belt and untucking my shirt and baring my abdomen. His fingers slide up my body.

"I've dreamt of your mouth." He looks up at me, again his face an inscrutable mask. I can feel his fingers push against my skin. His mouth parts, almost imperceptibly, and I can see his breathing quicken at my words. I curve my lips in a confident smirk, watching as his black eyes darken.

Oh yes, L. I've been analyzing our time together. I know the truth behind your advances on me, and the power you felt when you had with Kira under you. Kira begging you.

"Fuck me, L."

oOo

I lean over his desk, fingers clutching the far edge as I push back into his thrusting hips. A constant string of uncontrollable whimpers sound in my throat as his hardness slides in and out of me again and again. My whimpers turn to loud cries of abandonment when his cool finger enclose over my weeping cock. That's all it takes to drive me into my orgasm. Moments later he follows suit, hot fluids spurting into me.

He leans against me, his sweat cool and slick against my back. We both pant heavily, relishing the post-coital tranquility.

Three loud, sharp knocks shatter our peace.

I shoot up so quickly that it causes L to stumble back into the guest chairs toppling them and sending him to the ground. He gives me an incredulous glare and I shrug a silent apology.

He quickly pulls his pants up and I find my own, sliding into them quickly and trying to rub the wrinkles out of my black button-up shirt, but the heat and perspiration from my body has effectively ironed them in. I run my fingers through my sweat dampened hair trying to tame it.

Red catches my eyes, but he's already turning the latch and unbolting the door.

"Wait," I hiss but the door is opened.

I quickly school my expression into one of impassiveness. L's body blocks the view of the person on the other side of the door, which is just as well because it means they cannot see me. I sincerely hope he doesn't invite this third party in because it would mean that somewhere between the door and the chairs the visitor would see L's back. The way L slouched only helped the dotted lines of blood seep through his white shirt more clearly. Then there was the fact that I would need to move from my current potion so that the two could converse, which in turn would mean that the splotch of semen running down the front of L's desk would be clearly visible.

"Hey I just saw Whammy was back and I thought-" The voice stops suddenly and asks incredulously, "Is-is that a bite mark?"

My stomach drops. I'd been so busy straitening myself out I hadn't even thought to examine the places where I had bitten him. There's a long pause.

"Yes, it is," L says in a voice so devoid of any discernable connotation that it's almost a challenge. I can only hope the person on the other side of the door either gives in to the challenge and leaves, or doesn't recognize it for what it is.

"Oh," is the stupefied response and I'm relieved.

"If you'll excuse me, I have something to take care of," and without letting the other get a word in L closes the door.

I sigh with relief and begin looking around the desk for the supplies that had been pushed off in my haste to have L inside of me. I find a box of tissues and pull a few out, wiping up my mess on the front of his desk. When I stand he's crouching on his chair behind the desk watching me with a cool, detached gaze.

"What is it?" I question, walking around his desk and throwing the tissues in a small waste basket. I hop on his desk, sitting in front of his chair. I seek out the bite mark and note its redness, relief flooding me as I see that I had not broken he skin.

"Light, it has been a very long time since we were together. It's not uncommon to begin to have feelings for your captor." I can't believe he's speaking to me about this, I can't hold back the burst of sordid laughter.

"I've been through all of this already," I inform him.

"You have? I always thought Light would be too proud to speak to someone about this," he contemplates aloud.

I shake my head inhaling deeply before explaining.

"Two years after you left Matsuda let slip at a staff party that he'd found us together-"

"Idiot," L mumbles.

"Yes," I agree and continue, "I managed to convince my father that nothing improper had taken place between us. My mother was another story… Eventually I gave in and told her what had happened between us. She chooses to believe that being confined so long with a limited number of people, and all of them being men, that I must have started having feelings for you because you were the closest to me. She begged me to seek help from a professional."

"And you still has feelings towards me?" he questions skeptically.

"Would you rather I didn't?"

"Yes," is his blunt answer. I watch him curiously. Is he really willing to send me away again? I don't know if I could handle that a second time.

"What will it take for me to prove that I love you?" his eyes widened. "What is it?" I ask, I don't believe I've said anything to be so worrying to him.

"You love me," is his stunned reply. I cock my head puzzled.

"Of course, why else would I want to be with you so badly?" I question.

"Because you are confused."

"In love," I correct.

"Obsessed."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I inform him sliding off the desk.

"Delusional," he counters and I brace myself on the armrests of his chair.

"So be my enabler." I lean closer.

"Addict," L grumbles leaning into the kiss.

"I'll prove it to you," I murmur breaking away.

"Oh? I expect that will take a while," he says in mock thoughtfulness.

"Damn straight."

The End. For real this time.