These are from the Hetalia Kink Meme prompt: "Because I somehow associated the "Roderich, no!" quote with the just sheer awesome possibility of a crossover between Hetalia and The Fairly Odd Parents."
Crossovers are my guilty pleasure, and the possibility of crossing one of my oldest fandoms with my newest fandom was just too delicious to pass up. So for the next six days, let the insanity commence.
Charcters: Norway, Denmark, America, Seychelles, England, Cosmo, Wanda.
Warnings: This might be too Norwegerific for most readers to handle...
Norway was sitting in his room with a good book, perfectly content to spend the rest of the day relaxing at home, not a care in the world, when suddenly the phone rang. A quick look at the caller id let him know that it was Denmark.
He tossed his options around in his head. He could ignore it, but what if it's actually important, or (more likely) what if he takes more direct measures to get in contact with him? But Norway really wanted to relax today, something that couldn't be done with Denmark in the picture, even if they were friends.
In the end, he picked up the phone. Big mistake.
"Norway! What the hell? You know how I feel about supermodels!"
"I do, but what does that have to do with anything ever?"
"I thought we were friends, man!"
"We were, right up until you ruptured my eardrum there…"
"Then why haven't you introduced me to Gah! yet?"
"…who?"
"Don't try to get out of this! Gah! is only the greatest thing since sliced bread, and he's Norwegian so you have to introduce me!"
"I do not know of any Gah. That is not a Norwegian name, in fact, I'm pretty sure it's just not a name. You've been lied to, Denmark."
"I think the nation of Norway would know about Norwegian male supermodels. So when can I meet him?"
"Never, because he does not exist."
"You know Norway, I thought we were friends. Friends who introduce each other to Norwegerific supermodels."
"Denmark, I think you've finally snapped."
"If you're going to be like that then friendship over!" with that he hung up the phone.
Norway sighed, but wasn't really bothered by Denmark's threat; after all he could always make it up to him later by paying for drinks. The whole conversation had got him curious about who was spreading false rumors like that, when his phone rang again, this time from America.
He seriously considered letting it just ring, knowing America it was probably something ridiculous, but there was still the whole 'strongest nation in the world' thing to consider, so he picked up the phone.
"Hey, Norway, how's it going? Listen, Canada and I were at Adrenaland the other day at we totally ran into Gah! but he went back to Norwegia before we could get his autograph. Can you get something signed and sent over for us?"
"First of all, who is Canada? Next, where the hell is Adrenaland? Third, it's Norway. Fourth, Gah doesn't exist."
"My brother, America somewhere, sure it is, and of course he does, we saw him."
"I don't know what clever scheme you've fallen into, but-"
"Hey man, I know what I saw, so don't try to tell me any different!"
"I'm just telling you, there is no supermodel named Gah from Norway. I would know."
"I get it," Norway perked up, thinking he had finally seen reason, "you're just keeping him all to yourself!" So close…
"I'm not –"
"That's a dick move Norway. I mean, I'm always sharing my stars with the world."
"I think you're misunder-"
"Canada!" He heard him shout to someone else, "I forget, does Norway have nukes?"
Norway decided that the best course of action at this point was to just hang up the phone. Not that it did much good, as it was ringing again five seconds later.
"Hello, what is it?" he snapped.
"Um, hi," a female voice said, "it's Seychelles. You probably don't know me, but I'm friends with England and France…"
"Ah, no, I remember you," and he did vaguely recall a girl from somewhere off the coast of Africa fighting with the two Europeans at the last meeting, "how can I help you?"
"Well, I was talking with Liechtenstein before, and the conversation somehow got on our favorite supermodels, so of course Gah! was mentioned, and she thought that you might be able to, you know, introduce us, or at least get his autograph, if he's too busy."
Not this again. "I'm sorry to inform you of this, but there is no Gah. At least not from Norway."
"Oh, I see," she sounded disappointed, "America said you might try that…"
"Try what now?"
"Try to keep him to yourself."
"I just got off the phone with him ten seconds ago….how did you talk to him so fast?"
"I thought it was just, you know, because America is a bit aggressive, but if you're really going to be a bitch about it, then we'll just have to come to Norwegia ourselves and meet him."
"What? I'm not being a bitch, he just doesn't exist. And it's Norway."
"Pff, whatever." And she hung up.
After Seychelles, Australia called, then China, Spain, Belarus, Cuba, Estonia, Sealand…France somehow managed to call his private cell while he was on the phone with Cameroon, all of them asking for Gah. It was getting ridiculous.
Somewhere in the middle of trying to get a drunk Prussia to tell him how he had gotten his Scandinavian-Nations-Only cell number and trying to calm down a distraught Korea, Iceland came into the room.
"Is everything okay?" he asked as Norway simultaneously hung up both phones, unplugging the house one from the wall and popping the battery out of the cell.
"I'm pretty sure the world's gone mad, but other than that, yeah, everything's fantastic."
"What's up?"
"Everyone keeps asking for this 'Gah' person, who I've never heard of and I'm pretty sure doesn't exist."
"…"
"Oh not you too."
"I can't help it, he's Norwegerific."
"He doesn't exist! And I'm pretty sure that's not a word."
"I know you're trying to keep him to yourself, but I thought being brothers meant something to you!" He turned and ran from the room, tears in his eyes.
"When I find whoever is responsible for this, I swear to god…"
He was startled by a loud rapping on the window, and looked over to see England standing there nervously.
"That's it! I've had it!" He stormed over to the window, yanked it open, and shouted, "There is no Gah! Just leave me the hell alone!" as well as a few choice curses in Norwegian.
"Calm the bloody hell down! I am perfectly aware that there is no Gah!"
Norway did calm down, as if a switch was flipped. "Oh, then why are you here?"
"I may know the source of your problems," he stepped aside to reveal two fairy godparents.
As a bridge between the magical and human worlds, Norway was well aware of the existence of fairy godparents, not that he particularly liked it. Making beings with unlimited magical power the slaves of children never really sat well with him and these two in particular seemed to only confirm his unease about the whole system. Actually the pink one was alright, but that green one…
"What did you do this time? You can only sink Atlantis so many times you know."
"Tell him…" England demanded, giving them a Britannia Glare©.
They both wobbled their bottom lips and burst into tears, hugging each other as the screeched, "We're sorry Norway! We didn't mean to cause you any trouble!"
"Wait a moment…Gah was…"
"It's our fault, but you can't blame us!"
"Then who can I blame?"
"How about…the internet?" Wanda offered.
"Yes! The internet! And Timmy, it's his fault too!" Cosmo agreed.
"Your godchild is your responsibility; whatever he wishes for, no matter how Norwegerific, is your responsibility as well."
"We're sorry! It won't happen again!"
"It better not. Just fix this and get out of here."
The bumbling fairies nodded and poofed off to do damage control.
Norway muttered some more curses under his breath and England patted him on the shoulder.
"Hey, it could be worse. Remember Super Toilet?"
He did, so he shuddered. Yes, all things considering, it could be much worse.