*cowers* Please don't hurt me! I know I haven't updated Cloudy with a Chance of Channy or A Summer to Remember in forever, but I'm sort of having writers block on those stories. :(
Enjoy this fluffy one-shot though! It basically focuses on the cute, nervous, insecure side of Chad. I love that side of him. And I bet Sonny does too. ;) After all, what's not to love?
Disclaimer: So... I don't have a funny disclaimer for you today... I don't even have Chad, he's off... somewhere Probably making out with Sonny. So, I don't own SWAC. Boohoo.
Huh. Chad Dylan Cooper thought as he sat in his dressing room, staring at his computer screen. 10 fool-proof ways to win the girl of your dreams...hmm...
Chad pursed his lips, deep in thought. After hours of searching on the internet, he'd finally found a website that had some good tips. All the other ones had stupid ideas such as "Act like a Jonas brother" or "Act like Zac Efron".
Why on earth was Chad searching tips for winning over a girl? This was Chad Dylan Cooper, the hottest teen heartthrob in America, winner of over thousands of girls' hearts. Why would he, of all people, need advice for impressing a girl? That was practically his sixth sense.
The problem was, none of Chad Dylan Cooper's skills came in handy while dealing with this particular girl. No, this particular girl had a mind of her own, she wasn't like the millions of other screaming fan girls Chad was used to. She was smart, funny, confident, witty, and cute. Stupidly, aggravatingly, cute.
Who was 'this particular girl', you ask?
Why, none other than Miss Sonny Munroe, starlet of his rival show, So Random!
Chad was sure his CDC charm wouldn't work on her. In fact, he knew this, because it never worked on her before. It looked like this time, Chad was going to have to seek some outside help. So that's why he was currently contemplating whether or not to trust Google.
Well, Chad thought, printing out the list. It's worth a shot.
1. Compliment her. On anything. Girls love to be complimented.
"Hey, Sonny,"
"Oh, hi Chad. What are you doing here?" Chad leaned up against the doorway of Sonny's dressing room, a confident smirk on his face. Inside, his heart was racing a hundred miles an hour.
"Can't I visit my favorite Random?" Sonny looked slightly surprised.
"Uh, sure," she said uncertainly. "You can come in, if you want. I'm just working on a new sketch." Chad walked in and sat down on the orange couch, looking for something to compliment her on.
"I like your shirt," he blurted out. Sonny raised an eyebrow at him, before glancing down at her shirt. It was one her mom bought her, with a bee on it and the slogan 'Bee Happy!'
"Um, thanks?" Sonny said, but it came out more like a question. "I think it's kind of lame, personally. But I was running late this morning."
"I think it's cute," Chad said honestly. Sonny nodded another thanks at him, before going back to her script. "I like your jeans." Sonny smiled tentatively at him. This continued on for a few minutes, and before long, Chad was running out of things to compliment her on.
"I like your... hair clip."
"Err... thanks."
"You have really nice elbows." By this point, Sonny looked a little more than freaked out.
"Are you okay, Chad?" she asked, peering at him.
"You have a pretty forehead." Chad smacked himself internally. Sonny just looked scared.
"Are you sure you're feeling alright, Chad?" she asked, concernedly. Chad nodded a little too vigorously. Sonny didn't look convinced. "Okay... I'm gonna go get some fro-yo. See you later..." Sonny cast one last glance at the drama actor before hurrying off to the cafeteria.
Step 1: Failed.
2. Call/text her throughout the day.
8:30 am:
"Hello?"
"Hi, Sonny!"
"Chad? Is that you?"
"Uh, yeah."
"What do you want?"
"Just wondering where you were."
"Chad, it's 8:30. I'm driving to the studios."
"Oh. Uh, okay. Um... bye!"
"Bye?"
11:41 am:
hi sonny!
chad, i'm in the middle of rehearsal!
oh, what sketch are you doing?
baby waa waa, now stop texting me!
3:30 pm:
"Hey Sonny, what it do?"
"Chad, why do you keep calling me?"
"Can't I talk to my favorite random?"
"You used that excuse yesterday. Now seriously, what do you want?"
"Uhhh... gotta go, bye!"
7:15 pm:
hey sonny, watcha having 4 dinner?
chad, i'm eating, not now!
watcha eating?
y do u care? spaghetti. now leave me alone.
2:03 am:
"Hiya, Sonny!"
"Chad. Dylan. Cooper. Why the heck are you calling me at 2 am?!"
"Just wanted to see how you were doing."
"I was doing just fine until you called and woke me up."
"Well, don't forget to get a good night's sleep!"
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Now stop calling me!"
Step 2: Failed.
3. Give her an endearing pet name.
"Hi Sonny bunny!" Chad blurted out the next morning in the cafeteria. Sonny stared at him weirdly.
"Sonny bunny?" she asked, as if fearing for his sanity.
"Yeah, how do you like my new nickname for you?" Chad grinned dumbly.
"Um, well..." Sonny trailed off. "It's interesting, that's for sure." Just then, Tawni raced into the cafeteria, looking for Sonny.
"There you are, Sonny! Pooper," she nodded towards Chad, giving him a sneer. "We need you in the Prop House in five."
"Kay, Tawni, I'll be right there," Sonny replied. "Bye Chad."
"Bye Sonny bunny!" he yelled loudly, causing several people (including Tawni and Sonny) to give him odd looks.
Step 3: Failed.
4. Ask for her opinion on different things.
"Do you like apples or bananas?"
"Um, apples."
"Do you like puppies or kittens?"
"Both..."
"Do you like Coke or Pepsi?"
"I don't really care..."
"Do you like.." Sonny cut Chad off.
"Chad, why are you asking me all these totally random questions?" she interrupted, before he could fire another question at her. Honestly, what was this, 20 questions? More like 20,000 questions. Chad panicked slightly.
"Uhh... well, um, I... just... wanted to get to know you better?" he stammered, wringing his hands together. Sonny smiled at him.
"Aw, that's sweet. I didn't know you cared," she joked, punching him lightly on the arm. Chad smiled weakly in return. I've always cared. he wanted to say. But of course he couldn't say that. So he chose to say something else.
"Do you like stripes or polka dots?"
Step 4: Failed.
5. Be a gentlemen. Help her, even if she says she doesn't need it.
"Chad, I don't need you to carry my Baby Waa Waa bottle," Sonny insisted, hurrying after Chad as he walked down the halls, carrying a giant baby bottle.
"Nonsense, Sonny," Chad said, his arms aching slightly. Who knew a baby bottle could be so heavy? He looked at Sonny for something else he could carry for her. "Let me get your bonnet too."
"Chad, that's really not necces-" Sonny was cut off as Chad untied the bonnet from under her neck and draped it around his shoulders before walking towards the So Random! set again. Sonny ran after him, confused.
"Here, I'll get the door," she said, deciding just to go with Chad's strange behavior for now.
"NO!" Chad yelled spastically, causing Sonny to give him a really bewildered look.
"O-kay...?" she said uncertainly, stepping away from the door slowly.
"I'll get it," Chad said confidently, striding over to the double doors. Unfortunately, opening a door with a giant bottle and bonnet in your hands isn't the easiest thing to do.
"Chad, I don't think that's the best ide-" Sonny cut off as Chad pried open the doors, causing the baby bottle to fly out of his hands and crash onto the floor, spilling the fake milk everywhere. Sonny's jaw dropped in horror at the huge mess now on the floor. Chad smiled sheepishly.
"Uh... let me clean that up for you?"
Step 5: Failed.
6. Use a pick up line on her. Not a lame one, but a cool one.
This one. Chad thought as he strolled towards Sonny, who was currently filling up a frozen yogurt cup. This is the one.
Chad had his pickup line all set and ready. It was cool, it was witty, it was charming, it was totally and completely Chad Dylan Cooper. He confidently strutted up to Sonny and tapped her on the shoulder.
Chad opened his mouth, ready to use his pickup line, but then closed it in shock. Sonny was wearing a gorgeous red dress, which accented her tan skin perfectly. Her hair was curled and she had just the slightest bit of makeup on.
In Chad's opinion, she looked gorgeous.
"Hey Chad," Sonny smiled at him, blushing a little at how obviously he was gawking at her. "What's up?" Chad opened and closed his mouth a few times stupidly, before speaking.
"W-what are you wearing?" he finally managed to choke out. Sonny gave a little giggle and twirled a lock of her beautiful hair self-consciously.
"Do you like it?" she asked innocently, giving a little twirl. "It's for our Prom Sketch." Chad nodded slightly, unable to say anything else. "So what did you want to tell me?"
Just like that, Chad's brilliant, witty, charming pickup line flew right out of his brain. Right now, his thought processes resembled those of a caveman, all he could think was: Soonnnyy. Preetttyyy. Chad shook himself mentally as he caught sight of Sonny's puzzled expression. Pickup line, Cooper, pickup line! But there was no way Chad was gonna remember that one. So, on an impulse, he blurted the first thing that came to his mind.
"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first,"
Sonny blinked once, as if not quite sure what he had said. Chad blushed at least twenty shades of red and looked down at the floor. Boogers? Really, Chad, really? Sonny raised an eyebrow at him.
"Was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" Sonny asked, as if trying to hold in laughter. Right now, Chad was embarrassed beyond belief. So he did the only thing he could do.
He mumbled something incoherently and got the heck out of there.
Step 6: Failed.
7. Sing to her. Any song will do. Girls love it when a guy sings to them.
"H-hey Sonny," Chad choked out. Sonny stared at him questioningly. She was wearing purple flannel pajamas with flying cows on them.
"Chad? What are you doing at my apartment at 8:15 at night?" Sonny inquired. "You've been acting really strange all week. What's up with you?"
"N-nothing," Chad mumbled, looking down at the ground and scuffing his feet against the floor.
"Do you want to come in?" Sonny offered, holding the door open. Chad nodded and walked into her apartment. It was quite nice actually, and very cozy.
"So, what brings you over?" Sonny asked pleasantly. Chad blushed again.
"Um, I have a song for you," he managed to say. Sonny's eyes lit up.
"A song?" she giggled. "For me? Aw, Chad, you're so sweet. Go ahead, sing it." Chad stared into Sonny's eyes, prepared to sing the song he had written. It was romantic, heartfelt, and at the moment? Long forgotten.
"Uh-er... I...," Chad racked his brains for any song he could think of. "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, here me shout: Tip me over and pour me out!"
Chad was ready to die from mortification once he realized what he had just done. To add insult to injury, he had done all the embarrassing little hand motions as well. And he had sung it in a funny voice, all squeaky like.
Sonny stared at him for a moment before breaking out into giggles. She wasn't laughing at him, more to him. Chad let out a few forced laughs as well.
"You're so funny, Chad!" she laughed. "I didn't know you had it in you. Thanks for making me laugh. Do you want some juice or something?"
"Um, no, I have to go now," Chad mumbled, his face red. Sonny gave him a confused wave as he dashed out the door.
Step 7: Failed.
8. Show her you are caring and sensitive.
Sonny Munroe had been worried about Chad's odd behavior all week. First he had been complimenting her on everything, then he had called her at the most random (and inconvenient) times, then he had come to her house... to sing about teapots? Sonny was beginning to wonder if Chad needed some help.
So, it freaked her out inevitably when he came over and started touching her hair.
"What the heck are you doing, Chad?" she exclaimed, scooting a fair distance away from him.
"I'm being caring and sensitive," Chad replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh, gosh, you're just like Tawni," Sonny groaned, remembering the time Tawni had tried to be caring. "You can be done now, Chad." But Chad didn't stop like Tawni did. He actually enjoyed the feeling of running his fingers through her soft hair. Sonny kind of liked it too. She got these strange tingles whenever he touched her.
"Um, Chad," Sonny said, scooting farther away. She couldn't ignore the little tingle of disappointment she felt when his fingers parted from her hair. "Please stop that, you're freaking me out."
"Okay," Chad said dejectedly, before brighting suddenly. "I'll be right back!" Chad dashed out of the cafeteria, leaving a very puzzled Sonny behind. Less than five minutes later, he came back, carrying a small puppy.
"Sonny, this is Cupcake," Chad grinned holding the puppy out to Sonny. Sonny folded her arms over her chest and glared at him.
"That's not going to work on me again, Chad," she informed him. "The last time you did that I found out you were using me for publicity." Now very angry, Sonny stormed out of the cafeteria.
Step 8: Failed.
9. Get her a gift, but not a cheesy one. Get her something that's extraordinary, that she would never expect.
Chad strolled by Sonny's dressing room to see if she had gotten his gift yet. He had spent hours picking it out, and he was sure it was the perfect gift. It was something that Sonny would definitely never expect.
"Ew, ew, ew! Sonny, get these things out of here!"
"I'm sorry, Tawni, it's not my fault! You're the one who broke it!"
Chad stuck his head into the dressing room to see a horrifying sight. Tawni was standing up on her vanity, shrieking at the top of her lungs. Sonny was crouched on top of the bookshelf, staring at the ground in horror.
The ground that was now covered in black ants.
"Chad!" Sonny screeched as she caught sight of him in the doorway. "This is all your fault!"
"My fault?" Chad stammered, unbelieving. "How is it my fault?" Sonny squealed in fright as an ant began to crawl up her leg. Flicking it off, she turned to glare at Chad.
"You're the one who sent me that stupid ant farm!" she yelled. "Tawni accidently pushed onto the ground, and now look what happened!" Chad stared in horror as he realized what his so-called-perfect gift had done.
"I'm sor-" he began, but Tawni cut him off.
"Don't just stand there!" she shrieked in a panic. "Call the exterminator!" Nodding furiously, Chad dashed out of there and quickly called an exterminator.
Step 9: Failed.
10. If all else fails, just tell her. If she rejects you, remember that you're too good for her anyway.
There was only one problem with this plan. Chad was not too good for Sonny. If anything, the beautiful, peppy, optimistic exploding ball of sunshine was too good for him. But, since all else had failed, Chad was now standing outside Sonny's dressing room, more nervous that he had ever been.
The door flew open before he could knock, revealing a very tired looking Sonny.
"Oh, it's you," she said coldly, causing Chad's heart to drop. "You'd better have a good explanation for why you infested my dressing room with ants yesterday."
"I wasn't trying to infest it with ants!" Chad protested. "I just thought an ant farm was a unique gift that you would like." Chad gazed at the floor in dismay. Sonny's cold glare softened and she hugged him briefly.
"Aw, I'm sorry, Chad," she apologized. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you, you were just being nice. Come on in." Sonny sat down on the couch and Chad sat beside her. "So, what's up now?" she inquired, her brown eyes shining with curiosity.
"Well, er..." Chad stammered, not exactly sure where to start. "I know I've been acting kind of weird lately..."
"Oh, yeah," Sonny laughed. "Do you mind telling me why exactly you were calling me every five minutes? And why you came to my house to sing 'I'm a little teapot'? And why you had the sudden urge to touch my hair? And why you just buy me an ant farm out of the blue?"
Chad blushed and looked down at his knees. As Sonny said them, he realized how stupid all of those things must have looked.
"Well, see, I found this list on Google," Chad mumbled. "And it had 10 fool-proof ways to win the girl of your dreams..." Sonny's eyes widened as she realized what Chad was saying.
"And what did the list say?" she whispered. Chad looked up at her and Sonny found herself being lost in his mesmerizing blue eyes.
"Compliment her. Call/text her throughout the day." Chad listed the items. "Give her a pet name. Help her out. Ask her opinion. Use a cool pickup line. Sing to her. Show her you are caring and sensitive. Get her a unique gift."
Sonny's heart raced faster as she realized that those were all of the things Chad had been doing the past few days. Frowning slightly, she spoke, counting the numbers in her head.
"But... but that's only nine things," she said, puzzled. "What was the tenth?"
"Tell her," Chad whispered, his face red. Sonny's breath caught in her throat. Did Chad... like her?
"So..?" Sonny prompted. Chad took a deep breath.
"Sonny Munroe, I really like you," he confessed. "And I had no idea how to tell you, because you're so different from every other girl I've known. Different in a good way, you're funny and smart and caring and so stupidly cute, and I didn't know how to tell you, so I looked some stuff up on Google, and it came up with this list, and I decided to try it, but I ended up looking like a fool and giving you a stupid pet name, and embarrassing myself in the cafeteria and...
Chad's babbling was cut short as Sonny leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek. Chad stopped mid-sentence and stared at her, his cheek burning. Slowly, tentatively, he reached up to touch the spot her lips had made contact with.
"What was that for?" he breathed.
"You were rambling," Sonny shrugged, her cheeks a light pink. "But that was really sweet Chad. And I think... I think that I really like you too."
Chad blinked once before Sonny's words fully sank in. His heart soared and the biggest grin lit up his face, both of his eyes sparkling madly. Before Sonny knew what had happened, Chad crushed her into a huge hug.
"Oh, um, thanks Chad," Sonny patted him on the back awkwardly. The feeling of Chad holding her was incredible.
"Sorry," Chad breathed, pulling away. "Uh, pick you up at seven?" he cleared his throat hopefully.
"Sure," Sonny giggled. Chad mentally pumped his fist, and stood up to leave. "Oh, and Chad?" Sonny called just as he was walking out.
"Yes?"
"Never buy me an ant farm again." Chad grinned and nodded before skipping (yes, skipping) off to his dressing room. He took the list from beside the couch and crumpled it up.
Screw Google.
Chad was walking on sonshine.
And boy, did it feel good.
Long, fluffy, and extremely pointless. I feel so accomplished. ;)
Who's gonna watch the SWAC season two premiere tonight? *raises hand* Who's already seen it on YouTube? *raises hand* I know, bad me, but I couldn't help myself.
Oh, and Happy Pi Day to anyone who celebrates it! You know, cuz pi is 3.14 and today is 3/14...?
Peace, love, and pi (and pie!),
~TeddyLuver