Reid was astonished with pain jolting up and down his whole body. He wasn't sure if it was from the dissapointment from the team, more importantly, Gideon. He tried to move, he was just held down with Gideon's wrinkled, pale hands.

"Reid, you need to relax." Gideon said frowning in disapointment at the skinny, raggedy, man who used to be Reid. "Just relax and listen, we have a lot to talk about." Gideon motioned for the team to leave the room.

"Where am I?" Reid asked the stupidest question. He, of course being his fault, was in the hospital. "Nevermind, I know. P-please forgive me, I was weak." Reid said staring at the design of the ceiling.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, kiddo, I forgive you. What I want to talk about is how you feel." Gideon knew Reid felt sick. He was just trying to get it through Reid's thick skull before he'd try again.

"I feel like hell... let me explain something Gideon..." Reid waited for Gideon's permission to explain. Gideon waited a moment and shifted in his seat to start listening. "I know I've betrayed your trust about this many times before, and I've apologized, and made up excuses, and..." Reid didn't notice he was avoiding his point.

"What is it?" Gideon said shifting in his seat again. He was eager to hear what he needed to say that was so important that the rest of the team had to leave the room.

"I hid the phials, from you. I feel terrible about it. I had a major withdrawal and knew I shouldn't because I've already dissapointed you enough... but the urge to just hold the phials wasn't good enough. I didn't want to dissapoint you... or the rest of the team again so..." Reid didn't want to go on to the topic of his solution.

"So you tried to OD... to runaway by killing yourself?" Gideon was calm. He'd already knew the reason for attempting suicide. "You just lost a lot of trust... almost all of it. But you can earn it back, the trust I have in you may take vacations, but it never leaves forever, you know that. The same with everyone out there... even Morgan."

The name Morgan dissapointed Reid. Just to hear his name made Reid feel ashamed. A few days ago, Morgan had visited Reid during one of his episodes. Morgan tried to stop Reid from getting the phials... Reid pulled a gun on him. Luckily, Gideon got there in time to talk Reid into putting the gun down. Morgan was very ashamed of Reid and no longer trusted him.

"He'll never trust me again. Not once, not after pulling my gun on him. He doesn't understand." Reid had tears building up in his eyes.

"Besides that, you will be able to earn the trust you used to have back, after that, it should be easier to break your addiction." Gideon saw Reid's eyes avoiding his. "And, you'll be able to go back to work."

"I don't want to give up the drugs yet... not yet. P-please don't do that to me. I can't quit all at once, please don't make me quit cold-turkey. I promise I won't abuse the drugs ever again." Reid begged knowing he wouldn't like the answer Gideon was giving him just by his eyes.

"I'll think about it. But for now, think of it as a punishment for lying to me about not having any left." Gideon's eyes avoided contact with Reid's because Gideon was tearing up. He didn't like punishing Reid, but it had to be done, tough love had to be present to cure his soul of the cursing addiction.

Reid smiled and looked away. "Thanks Gideon... for your support, everything." Reid trailed off in his thoughts. "When am I getting out of here?"

"This afternoon." Gideon was looking at Reid's limp body, wondering if he'd be able to sit up without falling over.
"I'm taking a month off work to stay with you... to help you through your addiction." Gideon finally said.

"Are you sure about taking that much time off? That's a whole month of babysitting me... are you sure you know what you're getting into?" Reid asked in surprise.

"Yes, I do know what I'm getting myself into. Withdrawals. But if you're going to get over this addiction, you're going to need a hand..." Gideon was thinking in his head about something important to Reid's recovery. "First when we get you home, we're going to eat. Then you are going to hand over all your phials and syringes..." Gideon knew Reid was going to interupt. "No ifs ands or buts... I mean it. Then we are going to have another long talk of what I expect of you during everything. Cravings, withdrawals, everything."

Reid could see the seriousness in Gideon's eyes and decided not to argue. Reid closed his eyes once more before he'd be leaving the hospital.

Reid woke up to a light in his eyes. A doctor was checking the dilation in his eyes. Reid flinched a few times and covered his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Are you alright?" The doctor asked slightly giggling.

Reid looked around the room a few moments and noticed the whole team there, including Morgan, who wasn't looking at him. The doctor stopped checking his eyes and left him be. "Can I talk to Morgan alone for a minute?" Morgan didn't look up. "Please, let me talk to you Morgan." Morgan lifted his head in agreement. The rest of the team left.

"Morgan, I'm sorry for what I did. You were just trying to help. I hope I can earn your trust back... I hope I can earn everybody's trust back." Reid started getting uncomfortable, and his palms were shaking with sweat.

"It's alright, kid. And yes, you can earn my trust back... I hope you will be able to get this addiction by it's neck, kill it, and bury, no cremate it." Morgan smiled in a joking way.

"Yeah, but even profilers won't be able to catch it easy, not without the whole team." Reid joked back.

"See, I like this Reid... not the one always worrying about his next fix... I want this Reid I'm talking to to stay." Morgan stopped joking.

"Not exactly a simple task, but I do promise, I will become clean... and stay clean... I promise." Reid had a sincere look in his eyes. Morgan believed him although he didn't have much trust for Reid after a few days ago.

"I believe you are strong enough to do this... I believe in you." Morgan kept his eyes fixed on Reid when the door opened. It was Gideon.

"Everything alright in here?" He noticed everything was fine. "It's time to go Spencer." Gideon walked in and grabbed Reid's belongings.

Reid got out of the hospital bed and got dressed. He was glad he was going to finally get to leave the smell of the hospital. On the other hand, he knew what lie ahead on his journey to recovery, he was ready, but he'd already experienced the mild withdrawals before, and even those seemed to be unbearable... but it was something he was going to have to face one way or another, so why not now.

Reid walked, no limped out of the bathroom. "I feel like hell Gideon." Reid was holding his stomach. It was an early withdrawal symptom.

"That's the consequence of your actions. You made a choice without thinking of the consequences. Hopefully, you learned to think about your actions before you decide to go through with it or not." Gideon didn't like saying stuff like that to him. It nearly broke his heart to say things like the sort, but he knew he'd have to show tough love.

Reid started stumbling, but Morgan caught him and held him up. "Are you alright?" Morgan asked in an odd tone. Morgan knew the answer was no, he wasn't alright at all. He was the exact opposite.

Reid caught his balance and let go of Morgan. Reid and Gideon walked out of the hospital to the car saying goodbyes and good lucks. The ride to Reid's house was unbearably quiet. Reid was the first to break the silence. "So... Gideon... what are we going to do about my withdrawals?" Reid was nervous to ask the question.

"We'll deal with that question when the time comes, why, do you feel a craving?" Gideon asked worried about the answer.

"Well not completely. I just want to know what it's going to be like with you there when the time comes. I'm more scared than anything... about the withdrawals... about failing... giving up again." There was a worry in Reid's voice that worried Gideon.

"I'm going to be here for you, Spencer. Don't worry about that, just worry about how you are going to react to what I have to talk to you about later." Gideon didn't exactly know what he'd meant about that.

Reid didn't say anything for a few minutes. He just wondered through his thoughts always leading up to only one thing, the withdrawals. Reid was terrified... worse than terrified, so scared, there isn't a word for it.

"Gideon..." Reid tried to pull the right words out of his mouth. "I'm terrified... of the withdrawals somewhat, but I'm mostly terrified of failing you... everybody." Reid looked back out the window.

"Reid, we'll talk about that later, right now, just relax until we get home." GIdeon didn't know what kind of advice to give him. Gideon didn't seem terrified about helping Reid... he was scared of failing him. He was as terrified as Reid.

Gideon softly pulled to a stop in front of the apartment complex. Reid didn't move. Gideon tapped on Reid's shoulder but he didn't answer. Gideon moved him away from the window and he was awake.

"Oh no, not now." Gideon knew just as well as Reid that he was going through withdrawal. "Spencer, please just get out and go inside. We'll get through this one together. Reid didn't move. Reid started to cry.

"G-Gideon..." The words were forced out. "I can't do this, I can't... I need them... please. Just this once." Reid already knew the answer but he still begged like a hungry ally puppy.

"You know I can't do that... now we can get through this together, but you're going to have to cooperate." Reid didn't move. "Reid, you have till the count of three to get movin or you will have to deal with the consequences... remember Reid, we talked about this." Reid still didn't move. "One... two..." Reid got out of the car angrily. Gideon got out and walked around to him. "Now don't you feel better?"

"No... the only thing that will make me feel better is what I can't have." Reid rolled his eyes. Reid was annoyed and wished he could just get inside and go to his bathroom to what he wanted.

"You are seriously pushing it Spencer." Gideon said with an aching heart that he knew he'd have to do and say that stuff a lot. He didn't know how much longer he could take talking to Spencer like that... even if it was for the best.

"I don't care at this point... you know the only thing I care about at this point. But noooooo! I can't have it!" Reid was getting an attitude without even realizing it.

"Reid, calm down, please. I don't like to punish you. I really don't." Gideon tried his hardest to stay calm but he started shaking under pressure.

"I don't care." Reid repeated. "I'm going inside and I'm going to do something that you won't like... don't like it? Too bad, I don't care anymore." Reid wasn't angry but defiant at this point.

"You don't want to do that. You know either way I won't let you do that. As soon as you take out that phial and syringe, it's gone, it's long gone... forever." Gideon had seriousness in his eyes. He knew Reid wouldn't use right in front of him.

"Why does it matter? It's gone either way... you said earlier that I was going to give the phials to you. I don't see why it matters now." Reid was confused and frustrated.

"If you're forgetting, I said I was going to think about letting you stop step-by-step, not cold-turkey." Gideon had a point. He knew Reid wouldn't argue with the possibility.

"I just want to get this over with. Right now. I hate feeling this way, I hate feeling period. Right now, I feel like tearing down the empire state building." Reid wasn't joking. He had his fists clenched and he was gritting his teeth so he wouldn't have an outburst at Gideon. Reid was in pain, mostly because of withdrawal, but some of the pain was because of the agony of disappointment and failure.

"It will be over, maybe not as soon as you want, maybe it won't happen for a long time, but that all depends on how you deal with it. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Gideon was surprisingly calm.

Reid sat down and started occupying himself by tossing rocks. "Yeah, I get everything you're saying, but it's not exactly a sugar coated fix, it's going to be painful, I'm going to have days where I wish I could just curl up into a ball and die. Do you understand that." Reid looked up waiting for an answer.

"I do but I don't. I understand what you're trying to get me to comprehend but I don't know how it feels. All I know is that you are strong enough to overcome this. And hopefully, you will." Gideon was gazing at Reid who was staring at the sun high in the sky.

"We should go inside, I'm hungry." Reid changed the subject. Gideon knew he changed the subject intentionally... so they didn't get talking about where the phials were. They walked inside.