Chapter VIII: Si vis amari, ama (Namimori, Japan / Present Day) and (Venice, Italy / Vongola Estate / Ten Years Later)

It had been an emotional evening with Lambo, and Reborn wasn't surprised when both the little boy and Tsuna dropped off into sleep curled up together on the bed soon after they arrived at the apartment. They'd been unable to get Lambo to let go of Tsuna, and so the older boy had simply snuggled up with him. Instead of scolding either of them about their homework, Reborn just pulled the covers over both boys, tucking them in snugly. After making sure all the locks were locked and checking the security points of the apartment, he contacted the guard detail to indicate they were in for the night. Then Reborn called Nana.

It was a brief call, but he could tell that she'd been worried about the Lambo's emotional state, and he reassured her that they'd be returning Lambo in a much better state of mind when they brought him home on Sunday. When she asked how her other boys were doing, Reborn took a moment to reassure her that while he both he and Tsuna were getting along well enough, but that nothing compared to her cooking. Then he asked her to let the school know that both Tsuna and Lambo would be missing school on Saturday. It was his belief that they needed their time together more than they needed lessons or training at the moment.

Lambo was, by far, one of the most fragile of Tsuna's Guardians. His age made him vulnerable, something demonstrated clearly in the rounds of contention for Tsuna's role as heir. They'd almost lost him completely in the fight with the Varia, something that still pissed Reborn off if he lingered on it too much. It was Lambo's emotions, however, that put him truly at risk.

While he hadn't mentioned it to Tsuna, Reborn was concerned that if Lambo wasn't able to continue to form a solid family base for himself, the boy would never fully trust anyone. A Family could not survive if the warriors that protected it couldn't trust each other. Somehow, even without discussion or guidance, Tsuna has known how to find the most damaged parts of the little boy and expose them to the fresh air and sunlight that came from being with Tsuna.

More and more, Reborn was finding that his role as teacher was less necessary as Tsuna learned to listen to his instincts and stopped being so afraid of rejection and pain. There were days now, although he'd never admit it to anyone, that Reborn feared that Tsuna might not need him at all in the future. It unsettled him, especially as he was about to take the biggest emotional gamble of his life and put himself fully into someone's hands for the first time; heart, body, mind and soul. Even through his own insecurities, Reborn realized that to be close to Tsuna forever would demand nothing less than absolute surrender. He just wasn't sure how he was going to be able to manage to do it. He had to admit that he was honestly scared, to the core of his being, of these next few steps.

He was brooding on the sofa, sipping lazily at a cup of cappuccino while Leon sprawled over his lap when it came to him that just maybe there was an easier way to come to this decision and understand his risks. Reborn was a gambler, after all. Knowing the odds would reassure him, even if they weren't in his favor. He'd turned around more than one underdog situation in his long life, and he was sure he could do it again. If he could find something, anything, that would help him better grasp the scope of what this decision would bring him, then it was worth trying.

Settling Leon back on the brim of his hat, Reborn finished his drink and hopped down, making his way to the bedroom. It took a little rummaging to find where Lambo had been storing that ridiculous bazooka of his but he finally pulled it out successfully and carried it out to the living room. He took a few minutes to write a very firm note outlining instructions and laying it on the table in clear sight before checking the time. It was just past eight, early enough that he'd be unlikely to find himself in an embarrassing situation, although there was always a risk. With a sigh, he pointed the thing at himself and pulled the trigger.

It took a long few moments for the flashing lights and smoke to clear as he landed softly on his feet, feeling a rug beneath them. Glancing around curiously, he realized that he was in his old suite in Venice, tucked away in the abandoned back halls of the castle. There was a fire burning merrily in the fireplace and the lights were set low, giving the room a soft illumination. Unlike his last visit over the summer ten years in the past, Reborn noticed a few changes here and there. There was a new picture in a frame on a side table, a new piece of artwork on the wall by the door. The rug beneath his feet was new, a fiery pattern that spoke to him inherently of the sun and the power that hid within him, tucked away on most days.

"I should have known you had something like this planned, when you lured me down here tonight," a gentle, familiar voice spoke from behind him, coming from the doorway to the bedroom. "When you said you'd show me something interesting, I thought you'd come up with something too wildly inappropriate for the others to see."

Turning slowly and glancing up, Reborn felt something in him relax slightly at the sight of Tsuna in the dim glow of the warm lighting. He'd seen Tsuna like this once before, but had been more focused on how the younger Tsuna would react to his adult form than in collecting details on the Tsuna in the future. This time, Reborn allowed himself a few moments to look him over. Tsuna's hair was longer but still had that golden brown warmth to it, even as his bangs flopped into his eyes a little. He was taller than Reborn had thought he'd end up, almost the same height Reborn remembered being himself.

Those warm, bright eyes were the same, though. They spoke of welcome, acceptance and of love. Nested within them, however, and along the leaner lines of Tsuna's adult face were shadows. Reborn was familiar with these types of shadows, carrying many of them himself. They spoke of deciding the lives and deaths of others. His Tsuna and this Tsuna both showed the signs of understanding that they could take a life without question, but not without pain. It was those shadows that helped Reborn decide how to handle this encounter. He chose honesty rather than diversion because he couldn't lie, even by misdirection, when Tsuna was looking at him that way.

"I doubt I'd pull you all the way down here to hide something inappropriate. I'd just chase everyone else out," Reborn told him, smirking up at him. "But it was clever of me to do so. I'll have to remember to remind myself to do it."

"This time traveling we're doing makes my head spin some days," Tsuna grumbled, before making his way over to the bar in the corner. "Would you like a drink, Reborn? I could really use a drink. Xanxus and Kyoya have been bickering all day and it escalated into a full out brawl on the back lawns. Then the others joined in. I had to lock everyone's spending accounts and cut off their internet access to shut them all up so that I could work. I think the staff is still putting out fires back there."

"Are they all off sulking in their rooms, then?" Reborn asked, hopping up into one of the armchairs by the fire. "Scotch, please." He blinked when the glass appeared in front of him almost before he'd finished speaking, exactly as he liked it. It made him unsteady, realizing how well this future Tsuna seemed to know him. It made him wonder what else this Tsuna knew about him that he hadn't revealed to anyone else, ever. He accepted the glass with a nod of thanks and took a good long swing of it before setting it down on the table next to him.

"They're all out drinking together," Tsuna answered, settling in the chair across from him. "I gave Basil my credit card and told him I didn't want to see them again until Tuesday. Then you snuck me off down here to cool off and discuss something 'interesting'."

"Why were Xanxus and Kyoya fighting in the first place?" Reborn asked, curious now.

"I have no fucking clue. You know why, but when I ask you, you just keep telling me that's what tigers do when they're mating. I'm not sure I can handle the idea of those two getting naked together, because it would probably come with a lot of demolition to buildings that I'd have to pay to replace." Tsuna looked disgruntled at the thought. "If they're going to fuck, they should just get it over with."

"For some people, emotional changes can be terrifying," Reborn said softly, staring into the fire. "When you've been alone for a long time, focused on very simple things, the addition of complexity and people to your life can unsettle you in ways you'd never have expected."

Tsuna looked at him thoughtfully for a long moment before knocking back his own drink and smiling at him. It was the same warm, affectionate smile he'd gotten from his Tsuna this morning over breakfast and it settled something inside Reborn. Then he blinked as Tsuna stood up and moved over to settle at the foot of Reborn's chair, leaning his head back against the seat next to his legs.

"Do you know, after all our time together, there are still things I'm afraid to tell you," Tsuna admitted, looking up at him through his lashes. "Don't get me wrong, I love you, Reborn. You're my world, here in this time. You're the stability that allows me to be the rock everyone else needs. Without you here, in my life, I would never be able to do this. But there are things I'm still too shy to talk about, because I want you to see me in this time as strong and capable. I want to be the person you can rely on, because I've always felt that you've never had that in your life."

"Tsuna…" Reborn wasn't sure what to say in response. It felt like his lungs had turned to lead and his brain was spinning madly as he tried to absorb all of that.

"It's terrifying, you know. Falling in love with someone who has seen so much of the world, who knows so much and has done so many different things scared the hell out of me. But all of that was tempered by the fact that it was you." Tsuna laughed softly. "I had moments where I wondered if I was a huge pedophile, to be honest. But then I realized that to me you've never been anything but an adult, just one in a wrong-sized body. I wondered if maybe the whole purpose of all of this, the curses, the bloodlines, all of it was to bring us together, because we've done so much now for so many Families. We've been able to save so many people."

"I'm scared," Reborn admitted softly, shifting to sit on Tsuna's shoulder, leaning his head into all of that fluffy brown hair. "If you tell anyone, I'll kill you myself."

"Isn't that natural right now, to feel that way? In your time, everything is changing. You and I are sitting on the edge of a very deep relationship, Reborn, and we're both afraid of what that might bring. We're still struggling to pull our Family together, to strengthen them and heal them, in ways that won't hurt us as well. I'm keeping secrets from you, to protect you. You know that. You're too smart to not know that. But you're showing me the respect of letting me work my way through it." Tsuna smiled at the memories, relaxing against the chair fully.

"It makes me want to kick you repeatedly, in case you're wondering," Reborn informed him, flicking the side of his head sharply.

"I know. Please try to understand that it's done out of love. When I'm ready, you'll know everything. If it makes you feel any better, you did kick my ass around the training room for hours to work out your frustrations after I told you. But all of those steps are leading to the future here, and all of the good things we've managed to accomplish."

Tsuna reached up and slid Reborn's hat off, tangling his fingers in that wild, spiky hair and smiled at him, his eyes warming and filling with a glow Reborn struggled to identify. "I love you, Reborn. I haven't worked up the courage to say it then, but I tell you every day, every chance I can, now. I make sure that when we're apart, you know I expect you to come back safe and sound to me. When I'm upset, when I'm broken, you're the one I turn to. You're the one who helps heal those wounds until they're strong enough to scar. If we're in the same country, we fall asleep together, in each other's arms."

Blinking at him, Reborn wasn't quite sure what to say in response, overwhelmed by the emotion of the moment. "Tsuna…"

"We probably won't have much longer," Tsuna said, fingers continuing to slide through Reborn's hair. "You can tell me anything, Reborn. Anything at all. Then, and now. I will always listen. I will always try to understand. You might have to beat some understanding into me, but I'll get it eventually."

Tsuna looked over at him, his eyes serious now. "Trust in me, Reborn. Please. I will never let you down again. I know I was childish and weak and selfish, but those days are over. You've changed that in me, by showing me what it means to be with other people. Believe in what you taught me."

Reborn stared at him for a long moment and was about to reply when the world around him exploded in color and smoke, and he was suddenly back in the living room in Namimori, sitting on the sofa and staring at the note he'd left behind. The note that now had an addendum. Reaching out to pull it closer, he read it thoughtfully and chuckled, before folding it up and tucking it away in his hat.

"'Don't be an idiot', my ass," he grumbled as he hopped down and headed to the bedroom to get ready for bed. "You better not have molested my Tsuna again."

A quick change into his pajamas later, he hopped into bed to shove Tsuna's head over slightly and claim the pillow for himself. He couldn't help but smile when Tsuna's hand moved over and tangled in his hair, even in his sleep. The soft whisper of his name warmed him in a way that was almost embarrassing.

Reborn had a lot to think about over the next few days, but spending a Saturday at home with Tsuna and the baby of their Family wasn't a bad way to start working himself towards where he needed to be mentally and emotionally, to prepare for the future. After all, even the best hitman in the world has to train regularly. This was just a different form of training, in an area he had to admit he'd allowed himself to remain weak in. That was going to have to change, because he couldn't let Tsuna down, not after hearing those words tonight.

* Title translates to: If you wish to be loved, love.