Pirates In Wonderland

based on Tim Burtons version...with some things from other Alice in Wonderland versions

also I own nothing and eunich is pronounced U-Nick as in a man with his package chopped off...just in case you didn't know...

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It was hot. Too hot. The sun was beaming down death rays of heat and the supply of drinkable water was dwindling. Captain Jack Sparrow was rotating the maps pieces that would eventually lead the crew out of Davy Jones' Locker. Jack sighed then growled in frustration as he heard two voices rise in argument. They had not stopped screaming bloody murder at each other since his friend/eunich Will has found out that Elizabeth had been the cause of Jack's death and since Elizabeth found out that Will thought she was in love with Jack and obviously didn't trust her to stay with him. 'Even I didn't go on about her killing me for that long,' he groaned inwardly.

"We know mate, I can't believe Will doesn't trust Elizabeth," Said one of the mini Jacks on his shoulder.

"What do you mean, of course he doesn't trust her he SAW her making out with our dear Jack here," The other said while gesturing to the real Jack who was at that moment not liking where the direction of this argument was heading.

"Yes but she loves him and only kissed said charming Captain Jack Sparrow here to save Will's scrawny, ungrateful, eunich butt," The other said in a louder tone. Jack smiled to himself, '...Captain Jack Sparrow...'

"But if she had trusted him enough to tell him before hand, They would be better off." The first said. Jack was still smiling to himself but now his thought was'...Eunich...'

"Oh so you're blaming Will for this,"

"Of course it IS his fault for not being understanding."

"No it's Elizabeth's fault for being a cheater."

"HOW DARE YOU." Jack tuned out as his two mini-me's started fighting. He then looked at Will and Elizabeth who were now pretty much screaming the same things.

"I DID IT FOR YOU, YOU STUPID BLACKSMITH. IF I HADN'T OF DONE THAT WE WOULD ALL BE IN DAVY JONES' LOCKER, " Elizabeth screamed at Will.

"THEN LETS RESOLVE THIS AT HOME OH WAIT WE CAN'T BECAUSE WE ARE IN DAVY JONES' LOCKER, YOU PRISSY ARISTOCRAT." Will screamed back, his face turning an unpleasant shade of purple.

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A EUNICH."

"YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER BRING THAT UP." Will yelled as Jack smiled to himself, 'score one for Jack' This went on for several more minutes as Jack finally lost it between the arguments of Will and Elizabeth, and his two mini-me's.

"ENOUGH ALL FOUR OF YOU," Jack yelled as Ragetti leaned over to Pintel and said, "Four?" Pintel only shrugged, some questions were better left unanswered. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF ALL OF YOU ARGUING. YOU'RE ALL GOING TO THE BRIG."

"Even us?" The mini-me's asked, "Especially you, Will and Elizabeth I can kill, you two don't die." Jack said. The rest of the crew looked on disturbed as Jack started yelling at two spots on his shoulders. Jack walked over to Will and Elizabeth and then appeared to pick up two objects that no one could see and put them on Will and Elizabeth shoulders. Then he shoved them down to the brig and ran to his cabin.

"Finally, peace and quiet." Jack said contentedly as he laid on his hammock.

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It was night when Jack woke up. He got a strange feeling and walked around the ship. He then started trying to figure out a way to one-up Barbossa. He wandered around where his crew were sleeping, He searched through their things and found two telescopes that would work if he held them together. He went up on deck and tried it out then dropped them in surprise as he saw an island. He then walked over to the helm and took the wheel from Cotton.

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And that's the end of Chapter 1 ladies and gentleman, plz review. It gives me warm and happy feelings.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Hahahaha EUNICH...

*backs away slowly* I didn't do this to him, He was like this when I found him.

Captain Jack Sparrow: eeuuunniiccchhhhyyyy...snip snip...