Disclaimer: I am in no way in possession of Harry Potter or its copyrights as I'm only a young, mediocre, female writer who has nothing to do with her spare time.

Well. This was… supposed to be humorous, and I'm quite hoping it was. (: Forgive me if it burns your eyes out of their sockets? I'm currently obsessing over Harry Potter (when am I not?) and wishing November 19th would come faster.

-;-

"Is this some kind of joke?" Ron splutters incredulously. His eyes are wide and disbelieving; his cheeks an orange color that clashes with his ridiculously red hair, which seems to have turned even redder, if possible. His fingers twitched toward his back pocket where his wand sat, already sparking slightly. "You've got to be kidding me. YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

By now, Rose is clutching Scorpius' arm with a death grip, trembling. She was never good at confronting her father. "Daddy, w - why would I j - joke?" she stumbles over her words and there are tons of things to say that flow into her extemporaneously. What happened to the speech she'd practiced in front of her mirror for weeks on end, counting down to the holidays? She turns pink at the thought of having to kick poor Scorpius out after so much excitement of getting to spend Christmas together. It's all because he's a Malfoy, she grumbles in her head. I should never have said 'Yes' to this goddamned boy, look at all the trouble he's causing. And then she looks down and sees his fist clenching, eyes half-shut as he endures the infinity and one insults her father is now flinging at him about how he's no good, he's a Malfoy, Draco sucks ass, and how he's just silently taking all of this. Had it not been his girlfriend's father, he probably would have broken Ronald's nose by now. She strokes his thumb softly, and he looks down, smiling slightly, his courage boosted.

Ron, however, cringes at this show of affection between his daughter and this… (shudder) pure-blood. "Stop it!" he yells, unable to control himself. "Stop! Now! Get off each other!" He looks as though he's about to cry, and pulls out his wand, practically shoving it down Scorpius' throat.

Rose shrieks, her fingers losing contact of Scorpius. "Daddy, stop, please!" she begs, nearly crying now because her boyfriend will be dead, her father in Azkaban for using the Killing curse, and her mother will fall into a deep depression and become an alcoholic and Rose shall have to raise her little brother all by herself and… "Scorpius, don't let him kill you! He's got terrible aim, just dodge it, please don't die…" She screeches helplessly, awaiting her damned fate.

"What's all the ruckus?" Hugo walks in casually, dressed in Muggle jeans and a striped sweater. His hands immediately fly to his wand pocket when he sees the white-blond hair. "YOU!" he accuses, pointing the sharpened tip of his Cedar and dragon heartstring wand at Scorpius' nose. He glanced wildly at both Rose and Scorpius, the tip of his wand wavering. "How could you bring him here, Ro? Into our home?!"

The red-headed girl rolls her eyes at her brother and father, who are matching in both hair and face color, not to mention their expressions and current positions. Like father, like son. "Didn't I mention I'd be bringing a friend—who's a boy—over the holidays?" she reminds them both, exasperated. "Or do you two really just tune out what me and mum say at dinner, and talk about Quidditch?"

They both have to resist the urge to agree with her statement. "But… you said you were bringing over a boy!" Ron insists, stamping his foot quite girlishly.

For the first time in a bit, Scorpius speaks. "And I'm not considered a boy?" he replies, offended, crossing his arms.

"NO!" Ron and Hugo both shout at him together.

And at that moment, Hermione walks in through the threshold of the kitchen door which leads into the living room, where this had all taken place. "Why are you making all this noise?" she screams at all of them, annoyed. Her brown hair is tied into a messy bun and her bushy eyebrows are turned down dangerously, her eyes flaming. "Will you boys please shut it? I bet the neighbors could hear you clear across the street!" She puts her hands on her hips and glares at her son and husband. Then, she catches the eye of her cowering daughter, and her gaze slowly moves to the boy beside her, who's crept out of the wrath of Ron and Hugo's wands, and is now clutching his girlfriend's hand, pressed against her as though she'll keep him safe from her psycho family. "Oh! Who's this, Rosie?" she asks sweetly, smiling at the boy as though she can't recognize the hair color, the icy blue eyes, the weak chin, the structured cheekbones.

"Ah, Scorpius, ma'am," Scorpius responds politely, stepping forward and extending his left hand, as his right refuses to let go of Rose. However, a dirty look from Ron makes his gesture shrink back, afraid. "Scorpius… Malfoy."

Hermione's eyes widen for just a second, and then they go back to their natural size. Her cheeks pale and color for such a fast millisecond that no one except Rose notices. Ron and Hugo sneer at Rose and Scorpius, as though Hermione's reaction's just settled it. Scorpius begins to calculate all the places that are available to stay in while his parents are vacationing in Bulgaria, as it's quite obvious he won't be lodging at the Weasley home. And then she talks. "Well, it's great to meet you, Scorpius!" Hermione hesitates for a second, and then takes the tall boy in for a short hug. "I'm sure you'll be a great guest we'll have here. Now, how about you put your things just over there beside the sofa, and then we'll have dinner, and Ronald," she glares at her insolent husband, "will show you where you'll be sleeping for the next two weeks." She grins widely, her straight, white teeth gleaming. "Come on, now. The chicken's finished."

Rose shrugs and looks at the two boy residents of her immediate family, whose mouths are both resembling O's, and wands have fallen to the carpeted floor, singeing the fabric. "Didn't you hear, Daddy, Hu? Dinner's ready." She sneers at them both and then interlocks fingers with her boyfriend, cheerfully strolling towards the kitchen.

"He's staying for two weeks?!" Hugo asks, right eye twitching.

Ron can only gulp and try not to collapse on the floor.