Enjoy the epilogue of this epic!fail!

Roderich stood in front of a grave, his head bowed. He was wearing his best suit, the satin tie blowing in the wind. He hadn't spoken yet; there was nothing he could think of saying. The tug at his heart reminded him though. This boy had more to do with him than he had expected. He would never admit it to anyone, not ever Gilbert, but he felt slightly envious. He sighed and pushed the hair out of his eyes. It was childish, it was something he was ashamed of, yet he couldn't stop that small piece of jealously that sat heavy on his chest—not too heavy, but just enough that he felt it. Here was someone he never met before, aside from seeing him at the meetings and he was jealous. This was someone that Gilbert had loved before him, here was someone that Gilbert had touched, held hands, and joked with…

Roderich swallowed heavily, the clouds overhead becoming darker. If he had been the one to—Roderich couldn't bring himself to think it— would Matthew have been jealous with him. Would he have stood here just like Roderich, looked down at the cold stone grave and feel jealous?

And was that wrong?

It was such a selfish feeling, but at the same time, he wanted to reach out toward the boy and ask him, 'What would he have done? How would he have felt?'

Roderich opened his mouth.

"You…I never got to meet you…but I've heard so much about you…from Gilbert." After a pause, he added, "He loves you. He still does too…I'm…jealous." Roderich screwed up his face like it was hard to chew the words, "I…you were probably…so much better for him than I ever will be. I…when he gets sad…when he gets angry, I sometimes never know the right words to say…" Roderich leaned his weight onto his left foot and sighed. Looking up at the sky, wind blowing his hair away from his face.

"But…" he said, his voice quiet, "You…would you hate me if I loved Gilbert too?" He looked back down at the grave and closed his eyes, smiling sadly, "You must have been such an amazing person…I also envy you for another reason…" he paused, "You are what I can…could never be. If I could…if I could just be selfish for one more time…let me love Gilbert…at least try to love him like I'm sure you did…and still do. I promise that I'd never do anything to harm him…If I disagree with him, we may sometimes fight…but I'll try my hardest…"

"What are you talking about?"

Roderich turned toward Gilbert as he walked over to him. He was dressed in a black suit, his tie once crooked, now corrected when Roderich re-tied it for him. He smiled slightly and tried to look casual.

"Nothing, I was just thinking out loud."

"Lair." Gilbert said without missing a beat. He walked up to Roderich and stood beside him, looking down at the grave.

Roderich looked at him wordlessly, but Gilbert continued to stare fixated at the grave, his face expressionless.

"Hey Mattie." Gilbert finally said and crouched down in front of the grave, running a hand over his name, "How are ya doing?"

Roderich watched as Gilbert continued the one-way conversation until he stopped, sat up and held his hand out to him. Not needing any words, Roderich gently reached out and encircled their hands together. Gilbert's hand felt several degrees cooler, but it still felt nice.

"Do you think he's happy?"

Gilbert looked over at him. There was a silence between the two of them. Roderich was beginning to think that maybe he had asked the wrong thing until Gilbert opened his mouth.

"I think that wherever he is, he's having one hell of a party."

Gilbert noted Roderich's confused look and he reworded himself slightly, "I mean, sure his body's here, but he's not…there. You know?"

Roderich nodded and both stared back down at the grave. After a few moments of silence, Gilbert squeezed Roderich's hand slightly and turned to him.

"You ready to go?"

Roderich was surprised. Of all the times—especially the first—Roderich had waited hours and would eventually have to pull Gilbert away, the guilt was almost overbearing for Roderich. And now it was Roderich being the one hesitant to pull away.

"Uh…sure…" Roderich said and glanced sideways toward the graves in which flowers, cards, and even a few stuffed Polar bears (one of three being from Gilbert, telling Roderich his name was Kumajiro) decorated the grave.

Gilbert nodded and kneeled down beside the grave again, this time placing an object down in the grass.

"I have to go now…and I want you to know Mattie…that I still love you…and you'll always be here in my heart, but I…I love Roderich. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him…" Gilbert stood up and held Roderich's hand out thrusting it in front of the grave. "Please, at least give me your blessing, Mattie. It would mean so much to me…"

Roderich stared at Gilbert wide-eyed, too lost for words. He knew that what Gilbert was saying right then probably took so much willpower.

"He's a really great person, Mattie. Sure, he's a bit annoying and complains too much sometimes (Hypocrite Roderich hissed in his mind) but he's been there for me, and helped me to realize so much about myself…and he's never selfish (Liar Roderich groaned in his mind) and it's just that…he's as special to me…as you were…can you forgive me, Matthew? For all that I've done…?" at the end, Gilbert choked up slightly. It was still hard after all this time.

Roderich lowered his eyes, and saw that the object in the grass was a small lollipop in the shape of a maple leaf. Was it maple flavored too? Roderich squinted. It was.

When Roderich realized there was a silence in the air, he looked at Gilbert. After a moment, Gilbert raised his head and smiled slightly at Roderich. The pain was still there, but he was slowly trying to overcome it. Roderich returned the smile and squeezed his hand. Quietly, they both turned away from the grave and began walking out of the yard, their hands still linking them together. Neither of them said a word. They had nothing to say.

What must Gilbert be thinking? Did he feel overcome with guilt? No matter how many times Gilbert had been told, it wasn't his fault, it was just an accident, Gilbert looked like he himself wanted to believe it. Even after all this time, when they were sure they could accept it by now. But they had to keep telling themselves that even though he couldn't erase the past, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't go back and prevent whatever happened to stop.

The only thing that you can do is to just

keep

moving

forward.

Roderich suddenly felt something land on his nose. He looked up toward the sky and saw little puffs of white slowly fall to the ground.

"Hey…" He said in a sort of childlike mystification, "Hey, it's snowing…"

Gilbert looked up at the sky.

"Yeah…yeah, it's beautiful."

Then he closed his eyes and smiled.

It was as they were leaving that they didn't see the slightly transparent figure sitting on top of the grave, watching them live with a smile on his delicate face, his golden blonde hair curling around his face, his body wrapped in the baggy red hoodie that he always wore. He brought the stuffed bear closer to his chest that Gilbert had left at the grave.

"Be happy, Gilbert. Be happy, be happy…" the boy said, his voice barely above a whisper. And then he was gone, as if he were never there to begin with.

If you're lost on the whole 'OMG it's snowing and then Gilbert smiles' whole thing, it's supposed to show that he's starting to accept and move on. That the snow, though may bring back some memories he's not too fond of, he's starting to see that it's not something that should hold him back forever.

UGH.

I'm sorry guiiiseeee! You probably expected a better ending…don't expect anything from me…I fail. I so fail. FailfailfailfailFAIL.

I'm going to rewrite this story ;o It'll be better. Like Unicorns, but with wings.

Oh yeah, annnnd. If you guys caught the lil' quote thingie that Matthew says at the end, it's from the movie 'Tekkonkinkreet'. Yeah…go watch it…I guess…LAWL.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! I'M SO HAPPEEEHHHH! ;A;