Harry Potter and the Order of the Chronic

Return

I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.

XxX

A piece of rubble came crashing down from the ceiling. Professor McGonagall shrieked in surprise as she stumbled backwards falling into a soggy mess of cans and bottles of alcohol.

"Let me help you up Minerva." Dumbledore said as he reached out and helped McGonagall to her feet.

McGonagall began to dust the slop of her robes shaking her head "I can't believe Potter did this to Hogwarts! He has gotten out of control. I daresay we-"

A loud laugh and shriek echoed through an open doorway where a large wood door hung by the hinges. Then a naked girl streaked by laughing in drunken hysterics and a moment later a naked boy streaked by giving chase. Neither seemed to take any notice to the return of the headmaster.

"Put some clothes on! How dare you run about like animals!" McGonagall shouted as she gave ran after the students.

Dumbledore sighed as he brushed some debris from a nearby bench and sat down taking in the damage and horrid mess. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he heard a loud retching sound from around the corner.

"Ah Mr. Davis I see you have indulged in a little to much Fire Whiskey." Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes.

Davis looked up groggily from his hunched over position on the ground. "Oh fuck."

"Where is Harry Potter Mr. Davis?"

"Ughh something about a father and a prophecy... might have been a jedi in there. I really can't remember... remember..." Davis let out a torrent of vomit before passing out at the headmaster's feet.

"Oh dear." Dumbledore said before making his way hastily out of the castle.

XxX

Harry was sure he was going to die when he heard the killing curse. Instead the green killing curse hadn't come from Voldemort or that traitorous bastard McLaggen. It had come from behind him. He watched as it smashed into the large fountain in the lobby sending up a small explosion shattering the basin as water spilled out everywhere.

Voldemort had ducked behind a pillar on the other side of Ministry of Magic lobby. Cormac hadn't gotten away quick enough and had taken a piece of debris to the side of his face knocking him to the ground. Cormac groaned and began to drag himself away through the water as Harry sat their staring in disbelief that he was alive.

"Would you get a move on you git!"

An arm grabbed Harry's robes from behind and dragged him behind what appeared to be the receptionist's desk. A moment later a killing curse streaked over head smashing into the wall.

"Wood? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I came to save Katie. No thanks to you for dragging her into this mess."

"How the hell did you even know we were here?"

"She sent me an owl of course." Wood said firing off a spell over the desk before ducking back down. "Where is Katie? Is she hurt? I swear Potter if you put her in harms way I'll-"

"Well win one for carrier pigeons. Yeah she is fine" Harry said before quietly muttering "probably."

Harry looked over the desk. "You see him anywhere? I can't believe you are dueling with fucking Voldemort man. A killing curse to boot never knew you had it in you."

"I didn't cast the curse."

"What do you mean? Then who cast it?"

Harry felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey Harry."

Harry turned and his eyes grew wide.

"Fucking Chaz!"

XxX

"See man and I even had these great costumes, but you know you had to go and ditch me so that didn't work." Harry said before taking a puffing on what was left of his crumpled joint.

"Oh yeah and I think I'm cheating on Fleur, which is probably a bad idea so I'm going to need your help with that. And I totally wrecked the fucking school and I was getting straight A's."

"A's?"

"O's... Owls... Outstanding whatever the fuck it is called."

"Listen you two trolls! Would you fucking help me out here! Half the lobby is destroyed. The reception desk is on fire and the other half of our cover has been destroyed. He is going to kill us!" Wood said his forehead thick with perspiration.

"You know Wood this exactly what happened last year. Your temper got out of hand and you came rushing in to save the day when nothing was wrong in the least." Harry said with a hint of dissatisfaction.

"Umm... Harry I think he may have a point." Cedric said as Harry peered through the flaming debris of the desk to see Voldemort staring back with a triumphant smile.

"It is time to die Potter or will you sacrifice your friends instead!" Voldemort shouted.

"Well I thought Wood did rather well. Good job Ollie." Harry said giving Wood a pat on the back.

"See. He said you did a good job." Cedric said with a nod.

"Thanks as we are about to fucking die." Wood said.

"What the bloody hell is going on here!"

XxX

The lobby was quiet except for the crackling of flames and a dripping sound from the shattered fountain. Fudge stood in shock with a host of Ministry personnel behind him waiting for him to give an order.

"You! You... you can't be!" Fudge sputtered as he pointed a wavering finger at Voldemort.

Voldemort let out an evil hiss before skirting away vanishing with a swish of his cloak and a loud apparation crack.

"You! Potter! I want an explanation about all this right now!" Fudge demanded marching forward his hoard of guards in step behind him.

"Ah Cornelius. I believe I can explain everything."

"Dumbledore! You... I... You!" Fudge continued to sputter.

"You tell him Minister." Harry said strolling up to them.

"Harry. You will remain silent and head to the Order's location." Dumbledore said sharply.

"Barbara is waiting outside for you and your friends. He should have a note in his mouth."

"Right you are sir." Harry said with a mock salute.

"Wait I need to talk to him! I need answers!" Fudge shouted.

"I will give you all the answers you need Cornelius." Dumbledore answered calmly as he watched Harry stroll away with Cedric and Oliver.

"If I go down you go down Potter!" Fudge shouted after him.

XxX

End Chapter