Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool, Spider-Man, Kim Possible or any characters featured in this story. Marvel and Disney owns both.

Highway

Deadpool and Spider-Man, the former mercenary and superhero turned store clerks, were driving down the highway in the tumbler. After God knows how long of working at the Marvel Quick Stop, the two hero clerks finally got some vacation time. They didn't know who was going to look after the shop while they gone or how long their vacation time was; and in all honesty they didn't care. All they cared about was that they got some time off to make other people's lives hell.

"So where are we going, again?" Spider-Man asked his best friend, who was driving the tumbler.

"Wherever the road may take us," Deadpool answered in a calm matter.

"What the fuck does that mean?" cursed Spider-Man. "We've been driving around for a day and a half and we've never discussed a final destination."

Deadpool sighed. "Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. If I told you where we were going that would ruin the surprise."

"We're not going to Disney World again, are we?" asked Spider-Man. "We're still not allowed there after that whole 'kicking Mickey Mouse in the balls' thing.

"Not exactly," replied Deadpool. "Spidey, you remember when Disney bought Marvel for four billion dollars?"

"Are we going to have that 'Gargoyles' crossover at last?" Spider-Man asked like a hyperactive fan girl.

"Oh no. I am NOT going to relive that moment again," Deadpool cringed.

"Are we going to the Disney Princess' bordello?" Spider-Man continued his childish questioning.

"Whoa, my little horny buddy; first we walk," lectured Deadpool as he drove into his destination: Colorado.

"What are we doing in Colorado?" Spider-Man asked as he looked over the landscapes.

"You'll see," Deadpool replied with an ominous tone in his voice.

Middleton- Half an hour later

Deadpool parked the tumbler outside of a seemingly random house and he and Spider-Man got out of the car/tank.

"What are we doing in Middleton? Better yet, why are we at this house?" Spider-Man asked his best friend as they began to walk up to the house they were in front of.

"It's crossover time my friend. Disney has to start using us Marvel characters or else they lose the rights and Marvel keeps the money," the former mercenary explained.

"Really?" Spider-Man raised an eyebrow as he asked his question.

"No, the author of this fanfic just needed a good excuse for us to be here," Deadpool admitted.

"I thought so," Spider-Man said as the two former heroes walked to the front door and rang the doorbell. "But out of all the crossover possibilities, why a 'Kim Possible' crossover?"

"How did you find out?" Deadpool asked, bewildered and slightly disappointed that the surprise had been ruined.

"I read the name on the mail box. Also, it's, uh… one of my guilty pleasures," admitted Spider-Man as he bashfully put his hands behind his back and looked to the ground.

"Dude, I knew there was something going on with you when I heard you jacking it to Shego!" Deadpool teased his best friend.

"Deadpool, shut up!" demanded Spider-Man but Deadpool continued his torture by putting his hands together and moving them up and down in an inappropriate action.

"OH-OH-OH Shego! Yeah, yeah, YE-AH!" Deadpool said in a mock-orgasm voice before clucking like a chicken to drive his point home.

"Why I ought a…" Spider-Man growled but calmed himself down once the door opened and Dr. Anne Possible came out to greet her new guests.

"Can I…" Anne was bewildered by what she was seeing; two grown men in spandex and masks. And one of them was armed to the teeth; as evidenced by Deadpool's habit to carry his swords and guns wherever he went. As weird as it was, she decided it was best to remain calm. "…help you? Better yet, do I know either of you?"

"You do now! I'm Deadpool and this here is my best bud, Spider-Man; and we're your new family!" Deadpool explained before grabbing the nervous redhead into a hug.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Anne questioned as she pushed the mad, former, mercenary off her.

"Didn't you hear? Disney bought Marvel for 4 billion dollars and, technically, that makes us crossover buddies," explained Deadpool, but unfortunately, Mrs. Possible wasn't as fourth wall savvy as he was.

"What?" asked the confused Anne. Now the man in front of her really wasn't making any sense and she was trying to hide that she was losing her patience.

"Oh, yeah; you're not well educated in the fourth wall, are you?" Deadpool pointed out.

"All right, that's it; I'm calling the mental hospital," Anne began to close the door but Deadpool put his foot at the bottom of it.

"Miss, I don't think you understand the severity of this. You see, my friend and I were screwed over by the Super Human Registration Act of 2007, we serve the assholes of the Earth in a convenience store for minimum wage, and this is our first vacation time in a while. Also…" Deadpool took out his pistol and aimed it at the frightened brain surgeon. "…did I mention that I'm so clinically insane that Sigmund Freud would piss his pants if he spent 2 minutes with me?"

Anne rapidly shook her head no.

"Then here's the deal, you will let us stay in your home for as long as we need; if anyone asks, we're your nephews; and if you call the cops- BANG BANG!" Deadpool pretended to fire, startling Anne. She calmed down once she realized that she was still alive. "Feuer Frei."

"Welcome to my house," she squeaked as she moved aside to let her "nephews" in. "The guest rooms are upstairs to the right."

"Thank you," Deadpool bowed in respect and walked to the room.

Before following him along, Spider-Man stood in front of the shaking red-head in a comforting manner.

"Miss Possible, I'd like to apologize for my friend's behavior. He's, uh, a little touched in the head…well actually, I think touched is the wrong word. I think it's more like Thor took his hammer and smashed it into Deadpool's head while he was getting a blowjob from Storm," Spider-Man stammered before taking out his wallet. "Anyway, for your hospitality, I'd like to give you $100 advance."

Spider-Man gave her the money and ran after his best friend. Anne looked at the bill and shrugged her shoulders; maybe having them around wouldn't be so bad.

"Seriously, dude; Feuer Frei?" Spider-Man asked as he and Deadpool walked towards the guest room.

"Meh, you try coming up with a witty pop culture reference while threatening someone," explained Deadpool.

"Eh, I really don't care anymore," responded Spider-Man as they entered into the guest room.

"Hey, check it out!" Deadpool pointed to the bunk beds. "Bunk beds! Hey, I get dibs on top."

"Yes dear," Spider-Man joked. To stretch out his legs after the long trip, Spider-Man jumped up to the ceiling and used his powers to walk upside down. "What do we do now?"

"Well, we still have to get our bags out of the car, man. I'm not spending the whole day in spandex," Deadpool explained.

"What do we do after that?" Spider-Man was desperate to enjoy his vacation.

The two hero clerks stood in silence for a few seconds.

"You wanna get high?" Deadpool broke the silence.

"Yes please!" Spider-Man exclaimed.

1 Hour Later

Kim Possible came into her house along with her boyfriend, Ron.

"Mom, I'm home," Kim greeted her mother.

"Hi, honey," Anne hugged her daughter and then her boyfriend. The warm welcome was cut short, however, the sound of a very familiar song.

What you say about his company
Is what you say about society
Catch the mist, catch the myth
Catch the mystery, catch the drift

"Mom, what's going on?" Kim asked her mother.

"Uh, it's just that my…" Anne remembered what the psycho in the red and black spandex told her. "…nephews have come to visit for while."

"Since when did your sister have kids, Mrs. Dr. P?" Ron asked.

"She…uh… likes to keep things private," Anne lied.

The world is, the world is
Love and life are deep
Maybe as his skies are wide

"I guess I should say hi… and tell them to turn down that music," Kim said, making her way to the guest room.

"Wait!" Anne called out, fearing for her daughter's safety. "One of them is, uh, touched in the head."

"He's retarded?" Ron asked bluntly.

Anne put her chin in her hand and began to take in Ron's theory.

"You know? I wouldn't doubt if that was one of his problems," she replied.

"Don't worry, Mom, I'm sure I can handle it," Kim reassured her mother as she and Ron made their way to the guest room.

Today's Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
In the space he invades
He gets by on you

They reached the guest room and Kim opened the door. What she and her boyfriend were met with was a room full of green smoke and more of Rush's "Tom Sawyer".

Though his mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent
He knows changes aren't permanent
But change is

"Dude, I was wondering…" the two teens heard a voice within the smoke. "If we're all part of the Disney family, would it be considered incest if I fucked the Little Mermaid?"

"Dude, don't worry. We're only part of a working family; you can fuck whoever you want, you horny little butt hunter," another voice within the smoke commented.

"Good. Now I don't have to feel guilty for jacking off to the Pink Ranger."

"Dude, you're beating your meat to her too?!" Kim and Ron followed the two arguing voices.

"What? She had a nice butt," the first voice argued.

"She looked like she was twelve years old!" Kim and Ron could feel themselves getting closer.

"She was twenty-something at the time!" once Kim and Ron made their journey through the smoke, they finally saw who was having the strange conversation; Spider-Man and Deadpool were sitting down on the floor, in their masks, white t-shirts, and their boxers. And they were sitting in front of a large bong, which helped to describe the green smoke that filled the room.

"Who the fuck are you?" Deadpool demanded.

She just met them and Kim was already starting not to like her new "cousins".

"I'm Kim," she answered but the two former heroes looked up at her blankly. "Your cousin!"

"Cousin?" Spider-Man asked.

Deadpool punched him in the shoulder to remind him of the plot details.

"Oh, right…cousins…crossover…fanfiction… Disney…Marvel…zombies," Spider-Man incoherently revealed every plot detail of the first chapter and probably the rest of the story.

Kim just stared in disbelief at Spider-Man's drug induced behavior.

"O…K," was Kim's only reply before she decided to introduce her boyfriend to her extended family. "This is…"

"RON STOPPABLE!" Ron yelled and jumped in front of Spider-Man. To say he was star struck would be an understatement. "Spider-Man, I'm one of your biggest fans! You're my favorite superhero…"

"Shut the fuck up you needle-dick pussy faggot!" Spider-Man screamed at his, now, shocked fan. He always hated it whenever someone would come up to him and gush over him. "Where's my fucking medicine?!"

Deadpool reached into the bag and pulled out his best friend's "medicine"; a bottle of Jack Daniels. He handed the bottle to the alcohol deprived ex-hero, who broke off the handle with the bed post and began to chug the whiskey down like there was no tomorrow; much to the shock of Ron, who stared wide eyed with his jaw hanging open

"It helps him relieve his pain," Deadpool said about his friend's drinking as he took another puff.

"Don't hog the fucking bong!" cursed Spider-Man as he yanked the bong out of Deadpool's hand and began puffing away. As he was enjoying his Bermuda grass, he shot a look at the two teenage heroes. "What are you doing standing around here for? Get out! We'll see you in the next chapter."

"What…" Kim was really getting confused now. The stuff they were smoking must have really gone to their heads.

"Dinner time; by the time we're done here, we're going to have the serious munchies," Deadpool explained.

Kim and Ron just decided it was best to leave and closed the door on their way out. Somehow, they felt things were going to be getting pretty strange from this point on.

Deadpool's Note:

Deadpool: Hi, it's me, Deadpool. And I'm here to remind you all to read and review! Because if you don't, I'll come over to YOUR house and I will hurt you. Stay tuned for more or else.