Greetings and salutations faithful readers! So I have returned and have had a tough time picking a new story for ME2. So, since Joker is the only returning character that I have previously written for I am continuing the All Joking Aside storyline. So please read that first so you know what the blue hell is going on.

Previously: "Shush now, for once the great Commander Shepard can be silent and rest."

"But Joker, you have one last mission to carry out."

"Oh? And what would that be?" queried the pilot, lying next to Laura in her bed.

"Kiss me and fall asleep next to me."

"Aye aye ma'am."

Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau slowly untangled himself from the bed sheets and sat on the side of bed rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Stretching, Joker slowly made his way to his feet before pain gripped his body. The pilot quickly grabbed the nightstand nearby as he waited for the pain to subside.

"You're getting worse," said a voice from behind, causing Joker to turn around quickly.

"Thought you were asleep," Joker replied, as he gathered clothes.

"You're not as stealthy as you think," teased Laura Shepard, copying his actions from before. "What did Liara say?"

"Well," the pilot started with a sigh. "It always was an experiment. According to her, the degeneration will continue, but I should be able to walk without crutches."

Laura encircled her pilot around the shoulder and rested on his shoulder. "It doesn't matter to me. I want you to know that," she said softly. "Just you being you is enough."

"Mmmm cheesy," Joker chuckled and placed a kiss on Commander Shepard's head before standing. "But I'm not going to let anything keep me away from you." Now properly in uniform, Joker slapped on his baseball cap and struck a pose as the doors leading to the crew deck opened. "How do I look?"

Following the pilot, Shepard smacked at the brim of the hat. "Dashing I believe is your favorite word. Are you ready to hunt geth?"

Joker shrugged and made his way towards the steps. "Do we really have to? We know that the geth are not the real problem."

"True, but I'm Alliance and they want me to cooperate with the Council. And," she said before Joker could argue. "I'm a Spectre and must listen to the Council. So if they say to fight geth, that's what I'm going to do."

"Things were much easier when we mutinied," responded the pilot once he settled into his seat. "I can do that you know. I could kidnap you and whisk you away."

"It's not kidnapping if I want to go with you," she whispered, before placing a light kiss on his cheek and handing him a slip of paper. "For now, let's go to these coordinates and maybe we'll get a shore leave soon."

"Looking forward to it ma'am," Joker replied as Shepard walked away. After plotting the course the Normandy sped towards its destination.

After arriving, and finding nothing it came time for the great scanning. By day four, a lull had fallen over the crew. "Disengaging FTL drives," Joker almost yawned. "Emission sinks active and the board is green which means ladies and gentlemen that we are running silent.

"We're wasting our time," Pressly commented. "We've spent four days circling every planet in this sector, and we haven't seen a single geth headlight."

"Council and Shepard said three ships have gone missing. Those things don't just go off around space, they're not us," Joker noted.

"The smart money is on slavers. We are in the Terminus Systems after all."

"We've picked up something on our long range scanners," cut in Liz, one of the usual system operators. "An unidentified vessel, a cruiser maybe."

"Doesn't match any known signatures," Joker pondered. Who or what is it?

"Whatever it is, the cruiser just changed course and it's," she paused. "On an intercept vector."

"Check those readings, the stealth systems are engaged. There's no way a geth ship could pick us up," Pressly reasoned.

That's right, no geth ship.

"It's not the geth," Joker said, grabbing the controls. "Brace for evasive maneuvers!"

Too late.

Try as he might, Joker could not avoid the weapon of this new foe. An explosion rocked the ship and Pressly fell to the floor in a heap. More and more fiery pops sounded as Liz joined Pressly. The terminal in front of Joker was screaming and flashing warnings. "Multiple hull breaches, weapons are offline. For crying out loud, somebody get that fire out."

Who are these guys?

"Alright, I'm calling it. Evacuate everyone," Joker said grimly and hit the dreaded Big Red Button. But Joker had no plans of leaving and set to the task of preventing the Normandy from falling apart. Everything fell silent as Joker focused all his attention to his beloved ship. The pilot only released the control to put on his atmosphere mask before returning his attention where necessary.

"Come one Joker, we need to get out of here," came Laura's plea as she was now behind him.

"No," he said stubbornly. "I won't abandon the Normandy! I can still save her!"

"The Normandy is dead Joker. And so are we if we don't get the hell out of here," Shepard argued. "And if I die, I'll make sure your personal hell is me naked but you can't reach me." The strange beam weapon tore right behind the cockpit. "Come on," she said, grabbing his arm, which shattered.

"Crap, watch the arm!" he winced as Laura helped him hobble to the pilot's escape pod. Just as Joker settled into the seat, another explosion sent a shudder through the ship and thrust Shepard against the far wall, followed by the beam cutting off Shepard's escape. "Shepard!" Joker shouted out the pod and then if possible things got worse. Shepard started reaching for the emergency release button. "Don't you dare Laura!"

But it was too late. The doors hissed and sealed shut before rocketing away from the wreck that was the Normandy. From his pod, Joker was forced to watch as his beloved ship and Laura turned into a fireball. "Laura!" he shouted, pounding on the sides of the pod. "God damn it!" he screamed before crumpling to the pod floor. "Laura," he sniffed.

I love you.