Kind of bleak and morbid, yes. And yes, I don't have many stories in which I don't kill Thalia. I don't know what about her seems so killable, but…

Dear Annabeth

I'm not going to say I'm sorry. That was what I was supposed to say, right? That's what everyone says. But I can't do it, because I hate lying to my friends.

You're going to call me a coward, and you're probably right. But I don't look it, do I? I'm Thalia the Unbeatable. Thalia the Hunter. Thalia Grace, Daughter of Zeus.

I've never been that scared of monsters. I've never been scared of death.

I'm scared of being alone.

And I guess I just realized how long eternity was.

Zoë never let go of Hercules. But I thought I would be different. I had figured my memories would fade as I got older, but they haven't. And I can't go on, being tormented by faces until the end of time itself.

Luke.

Mom.

You and Percy, even. Because you're going to go too, someday. In a few short decades you will fade away and become nothing, just like my mom has become nothing.

Sometimes I feel like I've already lost you, by agreeing to go on this eternal run with Artemis. I love the Hunters, I do. But it's a different kind of love—I love them because I must in order to survive. I love them because they're my sisters.

But you and Luke are still closer. You, Luke, Percy… and since I'm never going to be able to leave any of you behind, there's no point. I can't wake up for endless sunrises wishing only to be somewhere else. With someone else.

It's all my fault. If I hadn't knocked him off the cliff—could I have saved him? If I had caught him and spoken to him, forced him to see sense. If I hadn't so stupidly given myself up all those years ago. I was trying to save you, but it killed him.

And now he's dead, and part of me has died too. A part that will never come back, no matter how long I live.

I think Artemis knows, or at least has a sense, of what I may be planning to do. I wonder if she will try and stop me. She's been keeping an annoyingly close watch, but right now I'm going to the bathroom. At least, that's what she thinks. I probably won't be able to fool her for much longer.

Do I want her to come save me?

Yes, because it will show that she cares that I exist. But no, because it's that existence that has been torturing me.

I tried to figure out how to do it. For awhile, I was just being stupid. I would charge monsters, get into dangerous situations. But I can't kill my instincts, and they always fought back. I always survived. That's when I fully realized that I was never going to die. That—and I think the word makes me sound arrogant, but it's true—I'm almost invincible. I could live forever if I tried.

So it's all up to me and a knife in the middle of the forest.

And this note left to explain everything.

Please understand. Please.

In my own selfish way, I kind of want you to miss me. But I'm so selfish anyway. That's why I'm doing this.

Don't spend too much time being sad, though, because that would annoy me. There's nothing you could have done to stop it, because I would have figured it out soon enough. Just like Zoë did.

And maybe in Asphodel I'll finally be able to forget.

Yours,

Thalia

Lieutenant Hunter

Daughter of Zeus

Failure

Review!