CPOV

Tick. Tick. Tick. The clock in the waiting room was a frustrating reminder of how long I've been waiting to hear news on my mom. She's been battling breast cancer for three years now, and it's finally taking its toll on her. In the back of my mind, I always knew that there would be a day when the end of her suffering would come, but I've never imagined it. I never pictured what I would do, or what I would say to her given the chance.

The walls white, and the chairs were a nice light pink color to honor all of the patients currently fighting for their lives. The room had a slight chemical smell to it, as though someone cleaned it with bleach only a few hours earlier. The smell was making me sick to my stomach. But what was much worse, was the family sitting across from me; a dad and two young kids. Neither looked older than five. I know this is going to sound horrible of me, but I'm lucky my mom got breast cancer when she did. I was able to have her in my life growing up, shaping me into the person I am today. Those kids may never have that chance.

Trying not to stare at the family in front of me, I started looking around the room. Glancing at all the bouquets of flowers brought in to cheer people up, the rickety tables filled with magazines, or coloring books for the kids.

God I hated this room. No matter how much they tried to brighten it up, it always gave me a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach whenever I came here.

Hearing a soft pair of shoes on the pink and white tiled linoleum, I look up. It's my mom's surgeon, Dr. Roget. She was a nice older lady; always had a caring smile on her face, bright green eyes that somehow always made you feel better and short pepper hair.

"Caiden dear, your mother would like to see you," she said in a soft whisper. Nodding, I got up from my seat and walked the familiar steps to my mom's hospital room.

Dr. Roget and I walked in silence. She probably had a sixth sense during moments like these, when the family of the patient is trying to gather all their courage for the last goodbye.

My heart was tearing in my chest.

Reaching my mom's door, I took a deep breath before I slowly pushed the dark purple door open; and there she was. My mom was lying down in her hospital bed. The scratchy pillow case rubbing against her cheek, she looked like a child getting ready for a nap. I didn't want to wake her. Being as quiet as I could, I grabbed the white folding chair from the far corner of the room and sat down next to her.

As if sensing my presence, my mom opened her eyes and smiled at me.

"I have something for you dear," she said in a voice barely registering on human ears.

Today's date is August 8, 2008. Today's the date of my mom's funeral.

Spending the last few minutes with my mom while she was battling death, was the hardest I'm ever going to have to face in my life. My mom was my best friend, and I had to watch her die while I could do nothing about it. I tried my hardest to keep the smile plastered on my face while she reminisced about her favorite memories of us together. I tried not to cry when she handed me a box with her favorite pictures and mementos. And I tried not to flinch each time I heard her breaths getting heavier and heavier.

My mom wanted to be buried back in her hometown Forks, Washington, where my dad currently lives and where I just moved to. I can see why though; even though it rains all the time, it's beautiful here.

My dad holds my hand as Pastor Weber says the eulogy. I'm not really listening to it. I had to sit there and discuss what should be said, and no matter what he says it's never going to fully describe the life of my mom. It won't do her justice.

My mom was a kind soul. She was thoughtful and caring. Never in my seventeen years of life had she ever raised her voice against me, even though at times I could tell she wanted to. She taught me how to play guitar and how to be self sufficient. She also taught me to be whoever and whatever I wanted to be, what values matter in life, and how to make a mean meatloaf. My mom was the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. She had dark chestnut curly hair, vivid green eyes and a bright smile. She was small in frame, even before the chemo, but very graceful.

Her name was Kaeleigh O'Riely, and I miss her more than air.