A request from blackteaplease. I hope it's alright...Tell me what you think, please!
Axel-arate
Ichigo: Come on you guys! We need to get going, now!
Rukia: Oh, calm down, Ichigo! We're coming!
Renji: Hey! Wait for me!
Ichigo: Tatsuki!
Tatsuki: I'm coming, I'm coming! Sheesh! I wish I was in Orihime's car…She and the others must be there, now…
Ichigo: Everybody ready?
Rukia, Renji, Tatsuki: Let's go!
Ichigo: Alright…
Ichigo started up the car. It spat and juttered, until the engine powered up. He revved it, before driving out the garage. They were on the road. Finally!
Renji listened to his 'crappy' music, Tatsuki was using grippers and Rukia was reading the map, trying to figure where they were and what way the map goes. Leaving Ichigo to drive.
Rukia: Which way does this damn map go?
Ichigo: There should be a compass at the top. North should be up.
After a few minutes, she had the map the right way.
Rukia: Got it!
Tatsuki: Rukia, why did you take a map? Ichigo knows this route, anyway!
Rukia: Now you tell me…
Ichigo: D'you think Orihime and the others are there?
Tatsuki: I'll call her.
Tatsuki drew out her phone and dialled a number.
Tatsuki: Hello? Hi Orihime! Where abouts are you?
Ichigo: Something's wrong here…
Rukia: Why?
Ichigo: It's not driving as smoothly as it should be…
Tatsuki: Alright, see ya there!
Tatsuki hung up.
Rukia: well?
Tatsuki: They've stopped at a gas station. It seems Uryu has diarrhoea…
Ichigo scrunched up his face: We all know why that is, right?
Rukia, Tatsuki, Ichigo: Orihime's cooking!
Renji: WHAT!?
Tatsuki slapped Renji across the face: Turn your music down, FOOL!
Renji: WHAT!?
They headed to a country lane. The car started to jutter, then came to a complete stop.
Ichigo: Awww, for f*** sake! Not now!
Rukia: What happened?
Tatsuki: I'll check…
She jumped out the car and looked under the bonnet. She then checked the underside of the car.
Renji leaned his head out the window: YOU FIND ANYTHING!?
Rukia: Renji, turn off your damn music!
Tatsuki: The Axel's broken.
Ichigo: You're kidding!?
Tatsuki: Nope…Looks like we'll be stuck here for a while…
Renji jumped out the car: I gotta go pee!
Ichigo: Do it behind a bush or tree…not in view.
Renji: But….
Ichigo: Faaar away from here!
Renji nodded and ran behind a tree: Oh! Yeeaah!
Rukia sweatdropped: We don't really want sound-effects…
Ichigo: I'll call a tow truck…
He dialled on his phone. The other end beeped.
Ichigo: Yeah, hello? We need a tow truck…The car Axel's broken. When is your quickest arrival?...Alright, thanks.
He snapped his phone shut and looked at Tatsuki
Tatsuki: Well?
Ichigo: The quickest they can get here is about an hour and a half.
Tatsuki: WHAT!? We have to stay here for an hour and a half!?
Renji: Aaahhhh!
Rukia: I hope he shuts up soon…
Ichigo: *sigh*…Guess we are stuck here for the time being…
Tatsuki: I'm hungry…
Rukia: Hey! Orihime cooked us some food for the trip!
Rukia ran to the boot and took out a picnic basket. Inside, was…
Ichigo turned green: Sashimi, wasabi sauce, chocolate sauce, eggplant, red bean paste…
Tatsuki: All of a sudden, I don't feel hungry anymore…
Rukia: Hhmmm…Maybe I should have asked Yuzu to cook us something, instead…
Renji: I smell food!
He ran to the picnic basket and stuffed his face with the…concoction.
The others watched with green and pale faces.
Renji lifted his head: Wot? U ant fum of fis?
He handed them some sashimi with chocolate sauce and red bean paste on it. Yumm…
Tatsuki almost threw up. Rukia…did throw up.
Ichigo: Renji! Put it away or shove it in your gob!
Rukia suddenly felt very sick. She ran behind a bush and hurled.
Ichigo: Rukia, you alright?
Rukia: Uuhhh…Never better…
She strolled out from behind the bush, with a very green face.
Ichigo: Rukia!
Tatsuki: This is not turning out to be a good trip!
Renji walked up to the three, holding his stomach: Ooohhh…I don't feel so good…
He ran behind a tree and stayed there.
Ichigo shook his head: Serves him right for eating Orihime's cooking!
Tatsuki: How long to go, now?
Rukia's face turned pale.
Ichigo: About…an hour.
Tatsuki: Oh, for f*** sake! Hurry up!!
Ring! Ring!
Tatsuki flipped open her phone: Hello? Oh, hi Orihime…Yeah, we're fine.
Orihime: You should be here! Where are you, guys?
Tatsuki: Well…The Axel broke….Renji ate your food and has Diarrhoea, Rukia doesn't feel so good, I'm losing my nut and Ichigo is stressing out.
Orihime: Oh, dear! Well, get here soon! Send the others my apology.
Tatsuki: See you later…
Tatsuki hung up and sighed.
Tatsuki: They're already there. And Orihime apologises for her cooking.
Rukia: I…Don't feel too good…
Ichigo: This is just f***ing great! We've been stuck here for 45 f***ing minutes, we're all f***ing pissed off and we still have to wait another 45 F***ing minutes!
Tatsuki: Calm down, Ichigo. Are you alright, Rukia?
Rukia: Yeah…I can't believe this. Shinigamis don't usually eat or look at food that horrible…
Renji: I hear ya! Oooohhhhh….!
40 minutes later…
Ichigo's slamming his head against the car bonnet, Rukia's throwing up behind a bush, Renji still hasn't come out from behind the tree and Tatsuki is having difficulty keeping sane.
The sound of a truck could be heard in the distance.
Tatsuki stood up: Hey! The truck! It's here!
Ichigo lifted his head, Rukia came out of the bush, Renji stayed put.
The three waved to the truck: Hey!
As the truck stopped, a man hopped out.
Man: Sorry we're late! We had another round.
He clipped the front of the car to the truck.
Tatsuki ran to the man: Thank you!
Renji finally came out from hiding, with a sad face: I still don't feel right…
Rukia's complexion had returned to normal.
Man: Come on, guys! Let's get you to your destination!
Tatsuki and Renji climbed into the car and Ichigo and Rukia climbed into the truck.
Man: You on a double date?
He started up the truck and began driving.
Ichigo and Rukia blushed.
Rukia: We're just friends!
Man: Oh, just friends, eh? Okay, whatever you say! Here we are!
The group's mouths dropped.
Ichigo: We were…Right out the town…?
Rukia: We could have walked?
Renji: All that for nothing?
Tatsuki: We could have just walked a few meters to the town?
The group: I am sooo pissed off right now!
Man: sorry…!
Orihime: Hey guys! What took you so long?
Uryu: It looks like Ichigo has lost his sanity…
Chad: So have the others…
The group laughed.
Ichigo: I want to go to bed…
Rukia: Right behind ya…
Tatsuki: Yeah
Renji: I feel hungry...
On the way back…
Tatsuki: I'm glad the car was fixed!
Chchchchchnk!
Ichigo looked round to the others: Please tell me that was just a noise…
Rukia: Here we go again…
Oh dear...Please Review! Any requests are appreciated!