Ruinous

Authors notes: Well, this was a longer delay than normal, but then again, it was a longer chapter than normal. To those who are reading this for the Chaos, enjoy, there's quite a bit in here for you. For those of you reading for Kim Possible, heh, enjoy. There's a good bit in here for you too. There's either one or two more chapters left, depending on how the writing goes. Readers, enjoy.

Nurgle

It was majestic. It was enormous. It was a monument to the perseverance that dwells within man, slumbering at his very heart. It was the ability of humankind to reach up and say, "Lo! Look upon my works! Tremble in despair, nature, for there is no majesty that I shall not aspire too!"

And then a phone went off.

"Just a sec," Bonnie told the rest of the cheerleaders from the base of the human pyramid they were forming. Without a second thought she stepped away from the formation, and sure as dominoes, the rest came tumbling down in a series of feminine groans, oofs, and exclamations. Bonnie didn't seem to notice, and started buffing a fingernail against her top while she chatted into the phone. "Brick? Hi," she drawled out the greeting for a good four or five seconds, her eyes lighting up, and her lips pulling back in a grin. I can't help but take a second to admire that smile. It just looks so much like an iguana or a lizard that I can't help but be impressed by the sheer malevolence it displays. It's almost inspirational.

Hey, wait a sec…She's in a cheerleader outfit. Where was she holding the phone in the first place?

I take a second to consider, than realize that it's Bonnie I'm talking about, and decide I'm probably better off not knowing. Seriously.

As the rest of the poor girls start extracting themselves they mumble muffled groans and mild curses, glaring at the self absorbed brunette that had nearly caused them serious harm. Falling even from a distance of no more than three people tall can have serious effects for the ones on top. And for the ones on bottom, being hit by people falling from three people up can have serious effects. I honestly can't understand just how Bonnie fails to realize this. Is she truly so self absorbed that she never even considered the possibility of broken limbs and concussions that await her cheer-mates when she pulls a move like this or does she secretly hold some desperate malicious urge to destroy all that is around her like me?

I mean, not that I ever pay attention to that malicious urge.

Mostly.

And when I do, that's what self destruct buttons are for.

From my place on the stands watching the whole ordeal, pep sweater on and Mad Dog mask resting besides me, I can see the rest of the cheerleaders in the squad grumbling and glaring at Bonnie as Bonnie mentions something about 'not showering' and 'glistening' which makes me very glad I have developed an automatic Bonnie filter to keep me from ever paying attention to anything she says too closely. Very handy to have around sometimes. However, before any of them can even make an effort to try and call her on it, they all see something which makes them pull back and make desperate attempts to seem like innocent pieces of the scenery.

Even sitting a dozen yards or so back from the mess, I make the same effort.

Kim does not look happy.

Well, rather Kim doesn't look happy in comparison to how she had looked for the last few days. And considering how she's looked for the last few days, I think everyone present besides the unobservant Bonnie was praying for something marginally less dangerous to intervene. Marginally less dangerous as in: a masked serial killer, an earthquake, an invading hoard of aliens, or the Armageddon. That kind of less dangerous.

It might be a bit of an understatement to acknowledge that the last few days, Kim hasn't been very freaking happy at all.

The onset of this unhappy mood can be clearly marked to when I had made my confession of suspicion about Eric to her in the tree house after I bared a significant portion of my soul to her. That had gone over surprisingly well, all things considered. Apparently the reluctance I had displayed when parting with that little insight combined with the changes in her perception of me had been enough for her to at least wait for me to finish giving her my arguments before she passed judgment on my accusation. She didn't know Vanessa well enough to take her word for gospel, desperately misleading and self serving gospel but gospel none the less, like I did, but I was able to point out a few things that could lend credence to my accusation. Like how focused he was on her, to the exclusion of all else. In the months that he's been here, not once has Eric made any attempt to befriend anyone else. I mean even me and Kim, joined at the hips as we've been since pre-K, have other friends. Kim spends time with Monique and some of her fellow cheerleaders, and me and Felix have regular zombie killing marathons. More than that, Eric's attention to Kim was perfect: never a misspoken word or awkward moment. How often does that happen? Kim might have less experience in playing the field then I do, but she has enough to know that people screw up, especially when they're desperately trying to impress a potential love interest. Tack that on to the fact that Eric had never introduced his father to her, despite the fact that Kim had already invited Eric over a couple of times to meet her folks and eat with her family, and I thought I had formed a pretty solid case.

Turns out I was wrong.

She had reacted like I was launching some kind of personal attack at her, and an argument had started to brew. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case might be, Eric himself had taken that moment to interrupt, calling for Kim from the base of the tree. She had left to go to him, and I had stayed behind, alone except for a napping Rufus. Well, at least she had thrown the tennis ball back up before she had gone. Though I'm pretty sure the only reason she had done that was so she could beam me in the face with it.

That had been three days ago. Kim hasn't spoken a word to me since then besides 'hello'. She's also been avoiding me, going out of the way not to cross my path during the breaks between classes, and sitting away from me during classes we share. She'd also been noticeably grumpy. I mean that as in even with as little contact as I've been having with her, even those brief moments have been enough for me to tell that Kim has spent the last few days on a proper warpath. Heck, Monique's even started spent today sitting next to me rather than her so she wouldn't have to bear the wrath of Hurricane Kim.

I suppose that means that I've finally crossed the line into a level of weirdness that not even twelve years of history can overcome. I'm not really surprised. If I hadn't been there and someone started crazy talk of old gods it would have been enough to make me call the nice people in white to come and get whoever was doing the talking before they finally snapped and came at me with a butcher knife or something. Add onto that me leveling an accusation that her nice guy boyfriend was in some way just using her? Yeah, that might just have been enough for Kim to finally decide that it was time to give me my walking papers as her best friend.

None the less, I'm not going to just let this avoidance thing drag on which is why I'm currently lounging in the back of the gym watching Kim and Bonnie start what looks to be a truly epic cat fight. Ostensibly I'm here in relation to my position as mascot, so I can work my routine out so that it doesn't get in their way. In reality the moment this session is over, I'm gonna corner Kim by hook or by crook and force her to get whatever's bugging her out in the open, even if that means it's out the door with me afterward.

Better to lance the boil quick than to let it to fester.

As me and the rest of the uninvolved parties watch, Kim closes the distance between her landing point and Bonnie and without saying a word plucks the cell phone from the brunette's hand. Before Bonnie even has time to blink, Kim had the phone to her ear,

"She'll have to call you back. Don't worry. She should have plenty of time. She's about to have a large open space in her schedule where cheer practice used to be," Kim grinds out into the purloined phone before shutting it with a brisk flip of her wrist.

"What do you think," is as far as Bonnie managed to get into what no doubt promised to be an enlightened and well reasoned argument justifying her endangering the entire cheer team in order to make doe eyes at a phone, when Kim interrupts her fiercely.

"Bonnie. What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kim half growls half shrieks in that way that only a pissed of female can manage when they're trying to make a violent vocal point while still maintaining their inherent high pitched femininity. "Interrupting practice, mid routine, in the middle of the fucking pyramid? Are you trying to get someone hurt?"

Oh dear. Kim just swore. I wonder if this is what it was like the first time she heard me drop a vulgarity? I mean, in all the years that we've been together, she's always been a consummate good girl. And everyone knows that good girls don't swear. I mean at least when I finally broke the naughty word wall I at least had a history of goof-offedness to buffer everyone around me for the occasion. Kim sweating? That's like unheard of, unthought of, and completely uncontemplatable.

At this point, several of the cheer squad thought it might be a good idea to start inching their way towards the door. I did the same. Escape seemed like a very good idea at the time. Several other cheerleaders apparently had less finely honed self preservation instincts. Either that or their addiction to drama caused them to discard their common sense, because they decided it would be a better idea to stand around and watch what promised to be spectacular fireworks.

"Excuse me?" Bonnie also seemed to lack self preservation instincts, because rather than make desperate obsequious pleas in an attempt to stave off a very pissed off sixteen-forms-of-kung-fu, she instead decided to strike a pose that spoke of nothing but self-absorbed shock. Everything from the line of Bonnie's shoulders to the angle of her hips screamed that yes, she really was the center of the universe, and how dare Kim for not understanding that already. "Could you be any ruder? Interrupting my phone call is so not cool Kim. And what do you mean, saying I'll have plenty of time to call him back? Are you going to be canceling cheer practice so you can go off and save the world or something again?" Bonnie's teeth shown again and I had to admire how many animals her smile can resemble. This time it looked like a shark rolling its eyes back so it can bite.

"No," Kim ground out, and for a moment I can't help but compare the noise to something Jason would make. Alright, screw dignity. I start scampering towards the same exit the cheer leaders with enough brains to see a storm brewing are still inching towards. They can afford to look inconspicuous. They were closer than I was. If I'm gonna get out of here before World War III gets enacted I'm gonna have to cover a hell of a lot more ground first. "Cheer practice is going to go on as scheduled. You're just not going to be showing up. After all, you have to be on the cheer team in order to attend." The phone Kim had taken from Bonnie was beginning to creak beneath her gradually whitening knuckles as Kim put more and more effort into squeezing the phone and not doing the same to Bonnie's neck.

Bonnie's eyes widened as she finally got just what Kim was saying. "You're kicking me off the team?" Dear dead damned gods, her voice sounded like it could shatter glass. "You can't do that!" I had closed to maybe five feet from the door, my complete lack of subtlety in my escape allowing me to cover ground faster than the girls still inching away at a more inconspicuous pace.

"After all the times you've screwed up a formation and a practice, and all the times you could have seriously hurt someone when you did?" Kim growled. I was two feet away from the door. I could probably be out it in another second, but when I saw the girls right behind me, all of which had somehow developed a puppy dog pout, desperately pleading for me to help them, I sighed internally and knew I was gonna end up holding the door for them so they can bugger off to safety. Looks like I'm gonna be the last one with enough sense not to stand near a lightening rod in a storm out of the room. "I think I…"

It was during the middle of Kim's proclamation, and when I was reaching for the handle of the exit to the gym, that she was interrupted by the door swinging open and banging into the wall with a resounding 'clang'. Well, it should have been a clang. Seeing as I was right next to the door and thus caught up in its path while it was swinging open, and thus between it and the wall when it reached the end of its proscribed journey, the clang was more like a meaty 'thunk' than anything else.

Pinned between the door and the wall, and trying to ignore the handle in my spleen, I hear a voice from the other side of the door call out, "Pardon me. I'm looking for Ron Stoppable. Someone told me he was in here?"

Everyone in the gym turned to face the intruder at the door, and judging by the looks that swept up on their faces when they saw the speaker, I can take a good guess on just who it is that had accidentally walked in on what had promised to be a truly epic hair pulling cat fight. Despite the fact that I think my kidneys had ruptured, I grinned.

"Um, howdy?" the voice said again, and then broke down into a deep rumbling cough that sounded like it came from deep in the speakers chest. "Is Ron here or not? I'd really like to find him before he heads off for home." The speaker shed a few more wracking coughs, and then made a sniffling noise, like he had a runny nose and was trying to keep it at least in the nasal cavity.

I peeked my head from around the door, and waved at the speaker. "Right here Eddie."

"Ron!" the speaker exclaimed, sounding positively jolly now that he had found me. A few members of the cheer squad shuddered at that. All things considered, I can kind of see the reason for their reaction.

The man that filled the frame of the door could be described succinctly with one word: enormous. Not like Jason enormous, all hard muscle and scary scars. No, Eddie was the kind of enormous more accurately described as fat. Enormously fat. Grotesquely fat even. Standing at just above average height, he was nearly as wide as he was tall. Even the enormous long sleeved shirt that he wore, which probably had enough fabric to be converted into a credible sail for a boat, couldn't properly contain the great jowls of his stomach, which hung over his enormous jeans. The circumference of his arms was barely contained by his sleeves, and the seams seemed to be fighting a losing battle to hold the flesh they contained within them without rupturing. Besides the standard clothing you'd expect to find on any decently clad person like shirts, pants, and shoes, Eddie had a few more accessories to his outfit. A large medical face mask stretched tight across his face, and somehow his enormous hands had managed to be crammed into a pair of medical latex gloves. All this on its own would be enough to draw the distaste of the prim and slim members of an elite social group like cheerleaders, but added to the image was a general feel of unkemptness as well. Dotting his clothes were various leftovers you'd expect to find on a general slob of a person: ketchup and mustard and various other stains peppered the front of the shirt, trailing down the enormous belly like a road map of meals past. Great sweat stains dominated his arm pits and various other places of his body, some not quite where you'd expect to find sweat. His hair was thick and greasy, falling down into his eyes, which were a shockingly light shade of green, leaving a sheen of sweat all over his exposed forehead, and dark streaks stained the white of the surgical mask where his locks brushed against them.

In short, Eddie looked like a fat dirty slob. And that wasn't even counting the fact that he had a very distinct odor: part BO, part something musky and sickly, like you'd find in the bad parts of a hospital.

Ignoring everyone else in the room, which had suddenly fallen very silent when confronted with what many in the squad would consider the antithesis of their very souls, Eddie started to enter the room. He came up short when his enormous girth caught on the metal door frame of the entrance. He took a deep breath, sucking his gut in as much as he could and tried to push his way through, but still couldn't quite fit. After a second of desperate pushing and squeezing, he stopped, and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and used the stained and ratty thing to wipe the sweat that had managed to form of his forehead. By then, I had managed to get myself out from behind the door and stood watching the scene with an amused smile. Eddie finally backed away and turned himself sideways. He got about halfway through the door this time, using his arms to shift his enormous belly up so he could squeeze even further before he got stuck again.

By now, the expressions of the cheer squad members were stuck halfway between disgust at the sheer repugnance of the figure that was before them, and a kind or morbid humor at watching him attempt to make his way through a door, an act that just about anyone else wouldn't have any trouble with. A few of the cheerleaders were starting to show concern. The sight was so disturbing that Kim had actually forgotten her argument with Bonnie, and was beginning to show genuine worry for the figure in front of her as he tried to force his bulk through the door frame. Tara was also beginning to look distraught, her hands clasped in front of her mouth as the blond watched with something resembling horror at the scene. A few others on the other hand were beginning to look incredibly amused at the plight of the big man before them. Marcella looked like she was trying to hide a smile at the sight, showing much more restraint than Bonnie. Bonnie's face was displaying a smirk that could only be described as malicious glee at watching Eddie struggle.

"You need a hand, Eddie?" I offered, my own grin fond as I watched the scene before me.

Eddie showed no embarrassment or even discomfort as he tried to force his bulk through the too thin opening. "Nope! Just about got it!" His voice was filled with cheer, as though he too found the whole process just as amusing as some of the observers. With a final heave he managed to twist himself around so his back was to us, getting the majority of his bulk through. With a last effort, and an almost audible pop as his belly finally cleared the space, he turned around with to face his audience. His face was covered for the most part by the surgical mask he had on but I could hear the humor in his voice, and see his eyes crinkling from his smile. He gave what could almost be a bow, though there was very little lowering involved, seeing as that might set his center of balance off and cause him to start rolling. "When you get to be this size you learn all the little tricks to get into those tight places!"

"Yeah," Bonnie snorted. "Tight for a hippo." The utterly tactless announcement and vicious attack on Eddie caused Kim to remember just what was happening before this interruption had thrown her for a loop. It also served to act as a chastisement for being needlessly cruel to the rest of the cheer leaders who had been finding the whole scene to be a little too amusing for what would be considered strictly proper in a polite setting. Several of them desperately schooled their expression to be more conciliatory then amused at what they no doubt considered to be a highly crippling condition. That condition: weighing more than a feather.

"Bonnie," Kim said sharply, sending a nervous look at Eddie in order to gauge just how badly the thoughtless jibe had damaged the poor boy's self esteem. "We really need to have a discussion over what is considered 'polite behavior'."

"Whatever, Kim," Bonnie drawled, examining her finger nails and looking superior to all the poor lowly mortals that surrounded her obviously divine presence.

"Now, now," Eddie interrupted, clasping his hands to his belly and laughing. "No need to be concerned, little lady," he assured Kim. "No crime in saying a big man is a big man." Turning to me, he extended both his arms. "Now get over here Ron! I ain't seen you in a dog's age!" With a chuckle, I took a deep breath, held it, and gave my old friend a hug. "You're still a skinny little fella, ain't you? You need to eat more! Pack on a bit of weight." The huge arms that enveloped me pressed me tightly against the enormous folds of his fat, and I held off escaping as long as I could, ignoring as best I could the strange sensations of being pressed into his large rolls of flesh. Finally, I tapped out, and after backing away a few feet, risked taking a breath again.

"Not all of us can pull it off like you can, Eddie," I tell him, grinning unashamedly despite the fact that I was almost positive that it would take me a good showering to get the smell that lingered around him off of me. The nearby cheerleaders were torn between trying to be polite to my friend, and cringing away in disgust at the thought of even being near something as repulsive as Eddie. "Looks like you've been taking care of yourself." I say this with an absolutely straight face, drawing disbelieving stares from more than a few onlookers.

Eddie threw back his head and laughed, before suddenly interrupting his joviality with yet another deep and wracking coughing streak. "Oh, I've been surviving! You look like you've managed to keep your head above water. Life treating you well?"

"As can be expected," I confirm. He let loose another rolling set of coughs, and it finally proved too much for Tara, who had been watching the whole thing with the kind of vapid wide eyed ignorance that actually served to make her more endearing.

"Um, excuse me," she said meekly, "but are you okay?"

Kim jumped in as well, though her expression was more cautious. "Do you need to sit down for a bit? You don't sound too hot," she offered, coming up to stand next to Tara. Her eyes darted to me and I could tell see the question in them. Was this another one of my strange friends? Then she seemed to realize that she was acknowledging my existence, and her eyes moved steadfast back to Eddie.

Bonnie proved unable to ignore the little hateful voice I've no doubt speaks to her in her head piped in. "Yeah, hauling all that weight around must be, like, so hard," she drawled.

I've no doubt she was expecting a certain type of reaction. The pretty common one when a socially elite and physically attractive person mocks a less well known and physically unappealing person is usually shame. The importance of the food chain and the valuable lessons on social inequity that high school seems so determined to impose on us dictates that Eddie quickly realize his own unattractiveness and vacate himself from the presence of the rest of the normal people. The reaction she got was not quite what she was expecting.

Eddie threw back his head, his lank hair tumbling at the motion, grabbed his belly, and let out another peal of laughter. "Now, now. It's a labor of love, carrying this around," and he patted his gut, causing the flesh to jiggle. "But if I ever got rid of it, why, I'd have to give up my position as an EMT!"

"You're on an emergency medical treatment team?" Kim asked, sounding shocked, and then realized just how much disbelief was lacing her voice, and quickly tried to cover her faux passé. "I mean, not that you couldn't, I'm sure…" She trailed off again, looking nervous as she committed the same error over again right away.

"Certainly, little lady!" Eddie proclaimed. "I'm a valuable member of the team!"

Tara spoke up slowly. "So, like, what do you do?"

"I wear a big shirt with an 'X' on the back and serve as an emergency landing pad for helicopters," he pronounced solemnly.

There was a moment of complete silence, which was then promptly broken by Liz and Marcella getting the joke and breaking out into snorting giggles. They quickly covered their mouths and turned away, trying to cover the fact that the unfeminine sounds had come from them. Kim's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and Bonnie looked a little miffed at her shot as Eddie's weight not quite working out the way she planned. Self deprecating humor instead of embarrassment? What madness is this?

Eddie continued on, showing no acknowledgment of the responses he had garnered. "Still, I don't rightly know how I managed to keep it all on me. Why, every time I sit around the house, I make at least two laps around it. With that much exercise, I should be shedding pounds like leaves." Jessica whose expression so far had firmly been on the 'concerned' side of the reaction fence, found herself inexorably being driven to the 'amused'. "Still, it makes ordering at restaurants easier. When they give me a menu, all I have to do is say 'yes please'." And now Tara was losing the battle against amusement, though she looked like the entire time she was giving ground she was berating herself for being a horrible, horrible person. "But sometimes it makes it so hard for me to do other things. I mean, when I tried to go to the beach, all the animal rights activists kept trying to drag me back into the water!" Now even Bonnie was smiling, and it looked a lot more sincere then it was when she was taking cheap shots.

By this point, the only one in the room, including me, who wasn't enjoying the stream of jokes was Kim. And it looked like the only thing keeping her from doing just that was her determination not to give in to peer-pressure. The corner of her lips kept twitching, and it looked like she was physically working her jaw to keep herself from succumbing to laughter. Eddie naturally saw this, and gave a low 'Hmmm' while leaning forward to peer at her. He rubbed his jaw in deliberation, before finally saying, "I'm so fat that when the weatherman said it'd be chilly outside I ran out with a bowl and a spoon."

And that did it. Kim let loose her own snort/giggle, and quickly covered her face with her hand when she started blushing. Eddie pumped his arm in success and proclaimed, "Victory!" before he was once again rocked with great wracking coughs. This spell was so bad he had to lean forward a bit, placing his hands on his knees to support himself as his tremendous frame shook. This time all the previously grinning cheerleaders showed concern, although Bonnie only marginally.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked again, moving closer to Eddie. I stood nearby, and was the only one not looking a little worried. "You sound like you might be sick." Her big soulful eyes dripped with concern.

"Nothing I ain't had before, and won't have again," Eddie squeezed out, before another smaller fit hit him.

I spoke up then, giving the girls an explanation since Eddie couldn't at the moment. "Eddie was born with a compromised immune system," I explain to them. "He gets sick from bugs that the rest of us can just ignore." The cheer squad all looked at me in surprise as I spoke. "He can get over them eventually, but it just takes him a big longer, and he just gets sick again faster."

Eddie spoke up then, continuing where I left off. "Just a step away from a bubble boy, I was. Though I think I grew into that little stereotype quite nicely on my own." Now that the girls knew his tragic past, the fat joke didn't quite give them the same amusement as it did earlier. Pity seemed to be the predominant emotion in the group. "When I was diagnosed, just a little after I was born, the doctors told my folks that I'd be lucky to see my ninth birthday. Well," he declared his head held high in pride, "I'll be seeing my eighteenth soon enough! Shows what they knew, the quacks."

"That," Tara proclaimed, her lips trembling, "that's so sad!"

"If you have a condition like that, shouldn't you be somewhere safe?" Kim asked, and then quickly backtracked. "I mean, not that you shouldn't be out and about, but shouldn't you be in a sterile room or something?" Then Kim's eyes widened and she blushed again. She reached up to massage her forehead, and was no doubt reminding herself of just how much she screwed up with Felix when she had discovered his handicap. "I'll just shut up now."

"Well what would be the point of living a life like that, little lady?" Eddie said easily, dismissing her unintentional slight. If anything he seemed to find her telling him he should get back in the bubble to be amusing. "Ain't no point in living a life like that. If I'm gonna go someday, I want that to be a day after I've seen everything there is to see, gone everywhere I've wanted to go. And most importantly ate everything I wanted to eat!" He patted his belly again, savoring the memory of what was some no doubt exquisite cuisine of dinners past. "Best way to live life is like each day is your last. Go out, I say, and live like you mean it!" His voice had risen in passion, and his solemn proclamation at the end rang proudly through the gymnasium, but was greeted in complete silence. He looked around, apparently coming back to himself, and realized that everyone in the gym was staring at him, mostly with expressions of quiet awe. "Um. What is it?" he finally asked, trying to figure out just why it was that everyone was staring at him. He rubbed the back of his head in mild embarrassment. I chuckled at the sight. Eddie is the one I learned that move from.

Finally, Tara spoke up. Her eyes were wide in admiration. "That's, that's just so brave!" she declared, and then did something which instantly put her in my good book for life. She darted forward and gave Eddie a great big hug, ignoring the sweat and smell without a second thought. Everyone in the room was taken aback by that, most of all Eddie.

"Ah," he stammered, and gently patted her back with one of his big hands with the same care that you'd handle a crystal statue with. "Well, shucks, thanks little lady."

Tara firmly held on even longer than I did, before pulling away with a smile. "It's just so amazing to see someone living such an inspirational life like that!" she declared. "I just want to say good luck, and I hope you make it to your eightieth birthday too!"

Eddie gave a low contemplative 'hmm' sound. "Well, I thank you right kindly, little lady." He appeared to make up his mind about something and nodded. "Tell you what. You ever have a problem with one of your boyfriends, you come tell me right off, and I'll give 'em a big brother speech that'll set 'em straight right away. How's that sound?"

And just like that, Eddie, whom by social conventions could be considered so far beneath these girls notice officially received every last one of their acceptance. It didn't surprise me in the least, and I couldn't even bring myself to feel jealous that he had accomplished in under an hour what had taken me months to do. Eddie just had that kind of way about him.

The meeting quickly degenerated into a group decision to have Eddie watch their routine. With his eyes on them, they put on a truly inspired performance, one of the best I'd ever seen from them. Eddie sat beside me in the bleacher, and when it ended, he gave encouraging shouts and clapped his big meaty palms together loud enough to echo through the gym with the same kind of volume you'd expect when the bleachers were full instead of just having two people sitting in them. Afterward, before the girls went to shower and change, they made Eddie promise that if he waited, they'd take him out to the best restaurant in town so he could continue his quest to sample all the delicacies the world had to offer.

And when they were gone to the locker room, it was just him and me left in the gym. We sat side by side in silence, the bleachers bending slightly under Eddie's weight.

Finally I spoke up. "It really is good to see you again, Eddie."

"Worried that I'd finally catch the big one and fulfill the prophecy those quacks made all those years ago, eh?" he rumbled amused.

"Eddie, we both know when you finally do die it sure isn't gonna be from sickness," I told him with a wry grin. "You made sure of that back then."

His chuckle was darker this time, reflecting my own mood when I reflected back on that night at Wannaweep. "Aye, that we did. Hold up a sec, partner," he told me, and then cocked his head to the side. "Why don't you come on out, little lady?" he said slightly louder than he was before. I cocked my head at him, confused. Who was he talking too? "I know you're there," Eddie continued, not sounding angry. His voice was soothing as he encouraged someone who wasn't there to show themselves. "You were there for Stephanie, you were there for Jason, and you were there for Vanessa. It only seems proper that you be here for me too. Ain't no shame in it." My eyebrows shot up. Did he mean…

Kim emerged from beneath the bleachers, a dozen yard or so away from where the two of us were sitting. She looked embarrassed, both at once more spying and once more being caught at it. She glanced up at me, and then her eyes quickly darted to the side, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Secret listening again, Kim?" I asked. My voice was colder than I intended it to be. But honestly, it pissed me off. She spends half a week treating me like I didn't exist, and then she has the gall to once more interfere in one of the most intimate portions of my life without a second thought or a word of apology? Yeah, I think I had a right to be just a little pissed.

"I'm sorry," she says softly.

Though she was speaking to me Eddie answered her, before I had a chance to vent my opinion on just what her apology meant to me at the moment. "No problem, little missy. Or as you like to say, 'no big', eh?" He grinned as she finally managed to drag her eyes away from the distant point in the distance she'd been trying to make out so intently. "Don't be surprised, little lady. You've been a big part of our Ronnie's life. What makes you think we wouldn't know about you?" This admission surprised both me and Kim.

"But when the first girl, Stephanie, she said that they had only just found my Ron," she said startled. Now I turned my surprised look on Kim. 'Her Ron'? What the hell?

"Ah, dearie. Much as I love my brothers and sisters, they can be just a little bit oblivious," Eddie said with a tone of an exasperated patience for our kin. "Anyone who pays more attention to the news then it takes long enough to change the channel has heard of Kim Possible. I've known were our Ron," and here he made his own emphasis on the possessive term, making Kim's eyebrows furrow almost imperceptibly, "for years. But Ron could have found us on his own, if he had wanted to. If he wasn't ready yet, then it ain't no place of mine to push him. I'm a patient fellow."

I sighed at that. Well, there go all my delusions about having successfully escaped notice on my own merits. "You've always been the enduring type, I'll give you that," I admit.

Eddie let out another deep rumbling chuckle. He followed it with small set of coughs, not as deep as the ones before, more like he was clearing his throat. "Aye. Enduring. If there's any word for it, that'd be the one, I reckon." His too pale eyes turned to me. Up close, I could make them out in more detail. It wasn't that they were pale; it was more that they were clouded, as though some unknown ailment had caused them to blur. A thin sheet of fever sweat glistened on his forehead. "That's always been my way, Ron. You know it. Hell, you're a fair hand at it yourself." He leaned back, his eyes focused on mine. Stephanie's had called to me, Jason's had tested me, and Vanessa's had pierced me. Eddie's eyes, they only watched me. They held the same amused tint to them that seemed to color most of Eddie's actions, an air of non-judgmental humor that said they'd never laugh at you, but they wouldn't hesitate to laugh with you. "I've followed your exploits out there with the little lady, partner. I've seen you, always in the background. Sometimes you're limping. Other times you're bleeding. Most times, you're both. That's a lotta abuse you've taken, over the years." He settles back, and beneath him the bleachers tremble. "Abuse you'd never have taken, if you hadn't been out and about, dragged out into saving the world by the little miss here."

Sitting there like that, he suddenly didn't seem so amusing. It was as though his air of big brotherly care, that almost paternal aura he seemed to emit had suddenly been switched off. His body emitted heat, a lot of it, too much even for a person that size. His bulk wasn't amusing anymore, it was overbearing. It had the feel of a large boulder perched atop a thin spire of rock, the kind that would someday fall and crush anything unlucky enough to be beneath it. The change didn't affect me. I've known for a long time just what lay beneath his friendly stained exterior. It hit Kim harder. The only impression she had of Eddie so far was the big friendly sick guy who liked to tell fat jokes. Hearing him virtually admit to blaming her for all the injuries he'd seen me accumulate over the years, combined with the protectiveness he'd shown Tara for little more than a hug, it no doubt conjured in her head that just maybe this big man beside her hadn't been kidding when he promised to look out for the little blonde that had embraced him. That this seemingly inconspicuous cheerful fellow might have a protective streak in him even wider then his waist, and even fiercer then his hunger. And that just maybe, she had somehow evoked that streak.

We both ignored her as this realization spread through her. Eddie kept talking. "And why did you take it? Why'd you keep on going back for more and more? Because," he shifted till his elbows rested on his knees, his eyes locked on mine. "You're like me: you endure. No matter what the world throws at you, no matter what rests on your shoulders, no matter how much they try to beat you down and grind you to dust, you endure. More than that, you push on. When there's nowhere to go but foreword, you don't bother looking back. When there's nothing left but hopelessness, you smile." Eddie let loose another deep chuckle. "Which is why I'm pretty certain just what you're gonna say when I ask you to come back with me, partner. But I'm gonna ask anyway. Will you come back to us, brother?"

I smiled at that, touched despite myself just how well he knew me. "No, brother."

KP let loose a whoosh of breath, and I noticed her finally. She certainly wasn't having any trouble looking at me now. Her eyes were wide, and she had that look on her face that I'd come to recognize in the last few weeks: epiphany. The realization that there was some aspect of me, some part that she had always known was there, but never really recognized before, having been so close to me while it was developed that she hadn't noticed it growing till it was already fully formed right in front of her.

Eddie just nodded. "And that, I reckon, was why I never bothered to come and get you before. I knew that there ain't no way we were going to be getting you back less you were damn well ready to come back." His eyes crinkled in a grin, and suddenly there was nothing threatening about the fat man beside me.

"Eddie!" Tara called from across the gym. Her and a few others from the squad were clustered around the exit of the locker room. She waved excitedly at the man beside me, smiling broadly. "You ready to hit Chez Henri?"

Eddie raised his hand back, and leveraged himself up off the bench. The sudden loss of weight caused an audible groaning sound to emit from the bench as the vast tension on it was suddenly removed. "Now, if you'll pardon me, I reckon it's about time for me to head out. I hear good things about this 'Chez Henri'." He turned back to me, and in a voice that was far too cheerful told me, "Watch out Ron. You know whose next, don't you?"

"Yeah," I nod solemnly.

"Be careful. You two are a lot alike. No matter how I pick at it, up here in this old noggin, I can't see any way for this to end good." And without another word, he headed for the door, greeted by giggles from the good looking girls who were waiting for him.

And in the suddenly quiet gymnasium, with the dying light on the afternoon piercing the misted glass, Kim turned to me and said, "Ron, we need to talk."

About time. I've been wanting to talk for a week.

There's something about a gymnasium at dusk. Gymnasiums are by definition places of activity, or excitement. It is in them that the teaming masses gather, shouting their adulation for the modern gladiators on the field. It is on them that the wills and strengths of two opposing teams clash and release. But at dusk, with the reddening light leaking through the windows painting the wide space inside rosy in hue, the echoing silence of the empty place becomes something different. Like a monument to broken things, to empty gift boxes, to aging dreams. As these thoughts drift lightly through my head, I lay on the bleachers I had been sitting on a while ago. I'd moved far enough away to escape the lingering fever smell that remained even after Eddie had been gone for most of an hour.

I don't mind the delay. KP was in the showers, changing out of her somewhat damp cheer clothes before we had our overdue conversation. I was content to wait, and to reflect on my thoughts. The conversation with Eddie lingered in my head. His offer had been straightforward, honest, and without guile in it. Of all my ghosts of camps past who had visited so far, he was the only one who made no effort to convince, to persuade, to blackmail. It didn't surprise me. Eddie was, and still is, the big brother of our strange little family. I think that of all my brothers and sisters, Eddie was the one I felt closest too. Stephanie, she was the bratty spoiled little sister. Jason, he was the younger brother desperately trying to step up into an adult role, quick to anger and strike out. Vanessa, she was the older sister, a little cruel in her caring, not afraid to guide, but not afraid to get a few cheap laughs out of guiding to the wrong destination. And the other. The last of my kin. To continue the metaphor…

He was my long lost twin.

Eddie was right. The more I dwell on it, there's no way this is going to end well.

"Sorry for the wait," Kim said, quietly approaching me. She had a towel wrapped around her hair, still damp from her shower. She was wearing her usual ensemble, the pink top and baggy cargoes. Without a word, I waited for her to sit beside me, a few inches away. So close and yet so far.

We sat in quiet for a few minutes. Kim would glance at me every once and a while, obviously trying to figure out how to start this conversation. I didn't give her any help. For all that I was waiting for this, I was equally dreading it. So I let my gaze linger on the crimson highlights that twilight painted our surroundings with.

After a few false starts from Kim, I took pity on her. "In the beginning, there were no gods. Just man, crawling his way out of the filth of his animal heritage." I felt Kim's eyes on me, though she remained silent. "Those were hard times for man. He didn't have the tools for the jobs that he did later. He had less to hunt with, just crude rocks and sharp bones. He had less medicine, not even the folk remedies that would crop up eventually. He had less to shelter himself with too no lean-tos or houses, just caves. Because of that, man got injured a lot. And almost every injury festered, rotted, and people got sick.

"When people back then got sick, most of the time, that was the end. No medicine, no hope. They'd linger for a while. And while they lingered, they'd despair. They would be able to see themselves dying, feel the changes in them as the bugs and dirt slowly killed them. Not just them, but their loved ones. Mother's seeing children die, lovers watching lovers wither away. And that despair didn't just disappear. Everyone everywhere, all that despair, all those emotions that were evoked by every illness, it began to build up. And eventually enough of it gathered together, and compressed. Like, what's it called," I trailed off, snapping my fingers searching for the school word. "Like what happens in stars…"

"Fusion?" Kim supplied, saying nothing else. She was resting her arms on her legs, glancing at the floor between them. I glanced at her, and could see from the expression on her face that she was content to just hear what I was saying, waiting for me to get to the point at my own pace. I nodded, taking the word she supplied as the right one, even if I wasn't sure.

"Fusion. When it got packed in enough, when there was enough there, it was like all the feelings became alive. That was the first god. He was called Nurgle. He was the lord of pestilence and rot, of sickness of all kinds. He was born of man, and he looked upon man, and those who were wretched in sickness looked back and prayed to him.

"Sometime afterward, man grew more intelligent, more crafty, more skilled with tools. It was at this time that the second and third gods were born. No one's really sure which one was first. The first one that began to answer man was Khorne, the blood god. You see, as man got more crafty and more populous, they began to fight against each other. There were limited resources back then, and if a village or a tribe couldn't grow enough to live, then they could always go and take it from the tribe that had enough. Some even stopped trying to grow or gather their own food. People began killing people for all kinds of reasons. Just like with Nurgle, the hate and rage and blood lust gathered together, and Khorne was born from it. He was the lord of brass and iron and blood, who took the skulls of his enemies and used them for his throne."

"Then why is there confusion over who was second or third?" Kim asked. The room was very quiet, our conversation barely stretching away from us. The light of twilight was beginning to darken as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky. And in this murk I spoke of ancient times and pain and suffering.

"Because of what the third god was. At the same time that people began killing, they began lying as well. For all that the strong and powerful could survive, so could the deceivers, the manipulators, the crafty. Some of them began to learn other secrets of the world. Magic, it was called back then. Science might be a better word for it now. Most of it was just simple stuff, like what burned better, or how two elements could be combined to make something better. But even someone figuring out that ammonia hurt in the eye, or that arsenic was poisonous, or that even oil burned back then would seem amazing. And these people would lie, deceive, manipulate, whatever it took to survive, and to get what they needed to keep surviving. Just like with the other two, all the emotions coalesced, and from it was born Tzeentch, the changer of ways. He was the lord of change and magic and deception. Maybe he was born third, or maybe he just hid away, gathering power and knowledge and manipulating from behind the scene until finally he was ousted after Khorne came to be."

I paused, and Kim whispered into the dark. "Were there any others?"

"Just one more. Once more, time passed, and civilization progressed. Finally, some measure of peace was established. And when that happened, people were able to relax, to think of other things besides desperate survival. And when they relaxed, they started to find ways to enjoy their relaxation. A big way to enjoy themselves, was, well, sex," I said bluntly. Kim glanced at me startled by that, blushing slightly. I gave a little half quirk of a smile and continued. "They were able to do it for more than just procreation. People began to get, well creative. Fetishes, hedonism, different partners, different roles, well, you get the idea. Not just sex either. People began to experiment with all kinds of excess. Drugs, decadence of all kinds, even pain and masochism." Ugh. All the talk of killing and sickness and lies was easier to talk about then just how many different ways began to bump uglies. Violence really is overplayed in the media I guess. "The process went like the other three, and from it Slaanesh was formed. Slaanesh was the hermaphrodite god/goddess, the lord of pleasure, the lady of pain, the sovereign of satisfaction."

"Stephanie," Kim said. "She was pretty, um, open about a lot of things. And Jason was plenty violent. Vanessa was lying deceitful bitch." Yup, definitely some resentment over the 'red headed tart' comment. "And Eddie was about as sick as they came." She was putting two and two together and getting four.

"Yes. Eventually, new gods were raised, most of them probably just pleasant stories that some people decided to believe in. Maybe one or two of the other gods over time got enough behind them to form, but those four were the oldest, and even if there are other gods out there, those four are the strongest. Whatever it was, they didn't need worship, just that people felt their influence. Eventually, worship went out of fashion, people moved on, but they remained. The four Elder Gods. Because of how violent and vicious they all were, because of how primal they are, they became known as the Gods of Chaos."

"Ron," she said, finally looking right at me, worry in her eyes. "What happened at Wannaweep. You can tell me now, can't you?"

"Yeah. Yeah I can. That one, the one whose name I still won't say," I leaned back, propping myself up on the bleacher behind me, my voice as distant as my gaze as I continued, "his father was researching some old ruins. There were notes about the old gods, rituals, that kind of thing. Nothing really that scary or detailed. Pretty much just the creation myth that I just told you. Maybe a few old symbols and half described rituals. It didn't matter that much really. Like I said, it was just the six of us going out into the woods to have some fun. Tell a few ghost stories, see who freaks out the most and poke fun at them the next day. That kind of thing." A half grin came over my face as I gazed back in my minds eyes to that night long ago, the playful ribbing and nervous laughs. "And in the end, as old as the gods are, as half-hearted as our attempt is, they heard us anyway. Maybe it was because of how long it'd been since anyone deliberately worshiped them, or the day was just some randomly significant day to them, maybe the stars were right, or maybe they just did it for shits and giggles. Whatever the reason for it, they heard us, and they answered us."

"How?" Kim interrupted. "You said the same thing before, that they answered you. How did they answer you?" She was looking at me intensely now, her mind working to analyze everything I told her, trying to piece it together in a way that made since, that gave her a course of action, or even a frame of reference.

"I don't know how it was for the others. For me, it was as though there were four voices in my head, speaking. Also, there was just this sence of pressure," I shuddered violently at the memory. "It was like….It was like standing beneath a really big overhang of a cliff. One so big that it blots out the whole sky, and the only thing you can think of is how much it would suck if that overhang were to suddenly collapse, and how there was nothing you could do against it if it were to. They spoke to me, and I spoke back to them. In the end, it changed me, just like it changed all the others."

"Changed you how? I can see how it affected all the others," Kim said, leaning in intently, "but what did it do to you? I knew you before you left for that camp, and I was back with you right afterward. I never noticed anything different then."

"You only think you knew how it changed them," I told her sharply. She blinked and backed up in startled shock at my vehemence. "You think you have any idea what they were like before hand? You don't. And you don't understand what happened at all, you just think you do." Kim opened her mouth to protest, and I cut her off, it being my turn to lean in. "I can tell you're thinking that it was a bad thing. You're probably thinking that they ripped out our souls, that they warped us horribly, that what happened was a bad thing. Kim, it wasn't. They didn't lie to us, they didn't cheat us, they didn't trick us. Kim, we worshiped them willingly! They gave us what we wanted Kim, exactly as we wanted. We still worship now, not because we have to, but because we choose to!"

"But why?" she shouted, her voice echoing through the gymnasium. "The more I hear the more I can only think that the gods are evil! They were born from hate and pain and death! When the others started showing up, you looked so hurt and scared! What am I supposed to think? What's going on!" she shrieked, all that was pent up in her coming out. She was shaking in near rage, her eyes blurring with tears at the intensity of her emotions.

"I wasn't hurt or scared because of the others, Kim," I tell her, softly. "How could I? I love them. They are my brothers and sisters. The reason I was hurt and scared wasn't because of our faith, because of the argument we had. I told you, that fight was massive. The four you've met so far? They're like family to me. It's because of the last one, the one that's coming next, that I've been hurt, that I've been scared."

That stopped her in her tracks. I don't blame her. You don't hear teenage boys using a word like 'love' that easily. "And as for the gods, they came from a time before words like 'good' and 'evil' ever existed. No matter how they were formed, do you really think that anything as complex and vast as the gods would be so simple?"

"What do you mean?" her anger had gone out of her. She only looked lost and confused now.

"Tell me, did Eddie look unhappy to you?" She shook her head. "It's because he wasn't. Do you remember what he said to me, about enduring? In the old days, when sickness was untreatable, death was always the inevitable ending. And if something is inevitable, no matter how hard you struggle, no matter how fast you run or how hard you fight, then why fear it? If you've reached your last moments, then go with a smile and a laugh, not just for yourself, but for those you'll leave behind. Nurgle was always a joyous god, laughing and joking no matter what. He was freedom from despair and fear, he was a joyous release." This revelation struck her hard, and her beautiful green eyes were wide.

Beautiful green eyes? Where had that come from?

Shaking that random though from my head, I continued. "Khorne wasn't just a god who blessed those who were attacking and killing indiscriminately. He was also the god of those who were desperately defending themselves, who were fighting righteously. He was also the favored god of mothers."

"Mothers?" Kim said, honestly shocked by this. I could see her trying to wrap her mind around that. I don't blame her. Modern times has mother hood as an image of maternal warmth and caring.

"I'm told that childbirth is very painful," I inform her dryly, and she blushed at what appeared to be a very sudden change of topics. "I hear it's a time honored tradition for the woman going through it to swear unimaginable agony on the men responsible for it. Khorne's name was frequently used in the old days during those times." Despite herself, KP let loose a giggle at that. "His name was also used when mothers were protecting their children during hard times. Think of it as momma bear syndrome."

Kim seemed to struggle with that thought for a moment, trying to digest it. "What about the lying one? Tzee-whatever-it-was."

I gave her a small smile. "Tzeentch. Did you know, KP, that the best lies become truth? That if you do it well enough, people will believe the lie so thoroughly that even if they were confronted with the truth, they wouldn't believe it? Let me ask you something Kim. Do you know what the most beautiful lie is?" She shook her head, not interrupting, just letting me continue. "It's when there's no chance of success, when the situation is doomed, when there's no way out, and no way to save yourself or the ones you love, and you tell yourself that everything will be alright, that you'll make it through just fine. Do you know what that lie is? They have a word for it. It's called hope. And like all the best lies, if you just tell yourself it enough, it just might come true. Kim, that's a lie we've both had to tell ourselves a few times in the past."

There was nothing she could say to that. So I continued. "As for Slaanesh, it was more than just sex. It was satisfaction. Physical satisfaction was a big part of it, but it was more than just doing the horizontal mambo." Again, she blushed. "It was the satisfaction of completing a sculpture, the satisfaction of taking a canvas and making a beautiful painting upon it. It was the satisfaction of crafting symphonies, of perfecting a craft, of anything that gives one a glow of accomplishment upon completion. Slaanesh was praised by artisans of all variety, a muse to all those who would create or strive for perfection. Slaanesh is like signing up for a dozen clubs, cheer leading, and saving the world, and feeling good about getting it all done perfectly." I give her a pointed look at that, and she blushed again turning away. I know she'd never considered her dedication to her chosen tasks in that way, and now she'd always probably equate them with Slaanesh's other aspects. Heh. She's gonna be blushing a lot more at random moments after this I think!

"Fine," she stuttered, still getting over my cheap shot at her. "Maybe not evil. Then how did it change you? How did it change the rest? What were they like before hand, if what happened to them wasn't bad?"

I was silent for a moment, and I sank my head into my hands, once more gazing at nothing. Finally I spoke up. "Stephanie's mother conceived her young. As I understand, the father was a sleazy douche who used her mother for a quickie, lied to her, and then left her high and dry when she got pregnant. Afterward, Stephanie's mother joined a church, and began to focus on how horrible sex was, on how much a sin it was. She'd tell Stephanie endlessly, often in graphic lewd detail about how depraved sex was. When Stephanie arrived at camp, she didn't have a single piece of clothing that left an exposed inch on her." Kim stared at me at that. It was a big difference from the bluette sex bomb that was in the hallowed halls of Mad Dog Middleton a few weeks ago. "Stephanie didn't know how to tell her mom, was scared to tell her, that she already found boys attractive, that she when she heard the stories her mom told her she was secretly fantasizing about it. She also didn't know how to tell her mom that it wasn't just boys she was fantasizing about."

Kim blushed again at that no doubt remembering Stephanie's offer to share KP with me. "Jason…" I trailed off again, this time my fingers clenching into a fist so quickly they popped loudly at the motion. "Jason's stepfather was like every bad cliche you've ever been warned about by counselors. An abusive, jobless, angry, vicious drunk. Back then Jason was a hell of a lot smaller than he is now. He was also already missing a good number of teeth and had to wear dentures to conceal it. He," and I made quotation marks in the air, "'fell down the stairs' a lot." I snorted. "Fell down them after he got between his stepfather and his mother when the useless fucker was coming after her."

I levered myself back off the stairs behind me, looking solemnly at Kim. "Vanessa was already blind by then, but she hadn't been born that way. She got sick, she never mentioned from what, and the end result was that she lost her vision. She spent all her time angry about what she had lost, about what had been taken from her. She hated the way she had went from a normal girl to a crippled, pitied glass statue. She used to love soccer and softball, and suddenly it was all taken from her. As for Eddie, well you know the story there. He had to beg, plead, hell, by the end of it he had to threaten to get his parent to let him come to camp. In the end, I think the only reason they did was that they just couldn't afford the doctor bills anymore. I think they were hoping that he'd be able to have a few moments like a normal child, and then pass on from whatever he caught out in the wilderness happy with those brief moments."

"That's horrible," Kim whispered. "Not just Eddie. All of them. Was there a single happy child besides you in that group?"

"We were all a bit broken," I whispered back. Kim's head snapped to me in a heartbeat.

"All of them besides you, right?" she demanded.

"All of us, Kim. I was just broken more subtly then them," I whisper back.

"How?" And now she has her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to meet her gaze. "How were you broken, Ron? How?" Her eyes are narrowed. I can see her mind working behind those eyes, so close to mine. After the stories she had heard of the other four, of hearing myself compare myself to them, she was now desperately trying to figure out how. Because if I was truly broken, and she had never known, that would mean she had failed me. That would mean that just like she had worried over after Jason that while she was saving the world and helping strangers, she wasn't saving her best friend, that she wasn't helping the one she really wanted to help.

I can't let that worry fester in her. Even if we are fighting, though by now I think the fight was far from both of our thoughts, I can't let my KP have that kind of doubt in her. I reached out my hand, putting one on the back of her head, and pull her into an embrace slowly. She resisted at first, but then I whispered in her ear. "I can't tell you now, Kimberly. It wasn't like with the others. And I had help, even before then, I had someone there for me." I grin, pressing my face against her hair so she can feel me doing it. "Well, two some ones. You were there for me too. And I promise you, I will tell you Kim. I swear it."

She shook against me, and then returned my embrace, pulling me tightly, clutching me fiercely. My terrible Kimzilla, already plotting a way to drag just who it was and how they hurt me out of me, so she can track them down and return it tenfold. We stayed like that for some time, in the now dark gym, before we separated.

As Kim sniffled again, rubbing her eyes, I continued, looking away and pretending I wasn't seeing her moment. I might have been rubbing my own eyes a little bit, but no one can ever prove that. Ever. "When I said they changed us, Kim, I meant that they released us. They gave us freedom, the power to overcome what was in front of us. The power to be able to be what we truly desired. They gave us exactly what we wanted, KP, and all they asked of us was to remember them, to give them glory and prayers."

"From the way you were being all mysterious about it, can you blame me for wondering if maybe they had done something physical to you?" Kim muttered, sounding aggrieved. "I was worried that they had mutated you or something!" She said the last bit as a joke, trying to make light of the situation. Unfortunately, her gambit failed.

"They did that too," I admit, and her head whipped to face me so fast her hair struck me in the face. "We're a lot better at hiding it, but every one of us is more than we once were."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her worry coming back in full force.

"I mean, that while we can conceal it, every one of us were just as changed, some of us even more then when that meteorite nailed Shego and gave her comet powers," I said seriously. I reached out and grasped her stunned hand as she stared at me with slack jaws. "I mean it Kim. I've never used it. After we parted ways, I deliberately stayed away from it, but when I brought up Shego it was for a reason. Do you remember what Eddie said, about me and the other one, about it how it won't end well? Well no matter how hard I think about it, I can't find any reason for him not to be right. That means I might end up fighting them. If you're there when it happens, treat everyone of them as though they were at the same level as Shego. They're all at least that level."

"First of all, you can bet every naco in existence that I'm going to be there," Kim snapped at me, looking more aggrieved at me doubting her then at the revelation that I had secretly been mutated by ancient gods. With all the weirdness we'd been through, it really wasn't a surprise there. Heck, I'd been a giant beaver before. That's about as mutated as you can get. "And second of all, all of them? I mean, I can see Jason and Eddie, but I'm pretty sure I could take Stephanie and Vanessa with no trouble," she snorted, remembering the sex bomb and the blind girl, and using that as a measuring post of their danger level. I have to cut that off now, before it sets in too deep. I grab her chin harshly and force her gaze to mine.

"Those two especially. Vanessa is beholden to the god of deceit, manipulation, and magic. She doesn't need eyes to be dangerous as hell. And Stephanie is an acolyte of the sovereign of pain and pleasure. If you hit Stephanie as hard as you can, she'd probably enjoy it. And it's really hard to fight someone who's getting off on pain. They don't back off or go down like others would. Not to mention Stephanie, for all her focus on sex, is probably the most vicious of all of us when it comes down to it." I can see my words startled her, though at my blunt appraisal of Stephanie's abilities made her flush again. "If you find yourself against anyone of them, you go into it at full speed and maximum caution. It's been a while since I've seen any of them go full tilt, and I don't know what tricks they might have developed by now."

My seriousness reaches her, and her eyes harden into emerald chips. "Got it Ron." And I could see that she did. I could also see her gaze resting on me, evaluating me. If the others were so dangerous with their gifts, then what about me? I could see it there, her eyes wondering. I've never touched the gifts of chaos, at least not where anyone could see them, could recognize them. Just what was her Ron capable of, her eyes asked me.

But it wasn't time to answer those questions. We weren't just sitting in this dark gym to hear about me.

"Your turn Kim." She blinked at that, apparently not realizing what I was getting at. I filled her in. "Your turn to talk. Just what the hell has been going on these last few days?"

She looked startled, as though she was only just remembering that for the last few days she's had a glacier on her shoulder when it comes to me. She actually blinked, and had to take a second to remember just what it was she had been intending to say when she had told me we had to talk.

When she finally collected herself, she actually sighed and leaned back. "Well, after everything you've said, it suddenly doesn't seem nearly as big as it did this morning," she admitted, sounding rather embarrassed.

"I don't care. The last few days you've been treating me like shit, and I think I deserve to know why," I tell her bluntly.

She flinched at that, and then bowed her head. "I..I need to tell you I'm sorry for that first of all. It wasn't anything you did. I, well, I," she stuttered for a second, before swallowing her pride and being honest. "The other day, in the tree house, I was wrong to snap at you. I had just sat there and told you how I'd always be there for you, and then the first thing I do after that is storm out like a bitch. I was ashamed of that." Her face is matched her hair again. I know how much it took for her to force those words out. Kim doesn't handle her mistakes very well. And this one in particular must have been especially hard for her to say. That was like a big time epic super huge mistake.

"So what?" I ask her bluntly. She wilted at my response. I know she was hoping that her apology would be enough, but you know what, it really wasn't. If that was all there was to it, then it was going to take something bigger than a half hearted admittance to make up for it. I was thinking nacos. Lot's of them.

She took a deep breath, and pressed on. "Right after I stormed out, Eric asked me to the junior prom." The moment she said that she looked at me desperately and grabbed my hand with hers. "I told him I'd have to think about it," she rushed desperately, talking fast and breathlessly. I can't help but wonder what's got her all in a tizzy. I mean, yeah, if the two of them were going together it would suck for me. The two of us have been going together as just friends for a while, but I'd already kind of resigned myself to the fact that I was gonna go stag this time. "And after I had got home that night and had time to calm down, well, I did what you said. And you were right," she broke off.

Now it was my turn to be confused. "Wait, what did I tell you to do and what was I right about? I mean, just in case Rufus can't remember," I finished off lamely, covering myself nicely over the fact that I had no idea what she was talking about it. I don't think it worked completely, because KP rolled her eyes at me and gave that long suffering sigh I'm so familiar with.

"About Eric," she prompted. "I had Wade look into him. And you were right. It took Wade thirty seconds to figure out that Eric had no history."

"Wait, Eric had no history?" Now I'm really confused. How could the guy have no history?

"No birth records, no school records, no previous addresses, nothing," Kim explained. "Whoever Eric is, he's not who he said he was."

"Great googly moogly!" I yelp. "That's just wrong." Kim gave me a weird look.

"Why is this such a surprise? You were the one who suggested there was something wrong with him in the first place," she exclaimed, exasperated at what she no doubt thought was my overreaction.

"Yeah, but I thought he was just some smarmy player trying to get in your pants for bragging rights or something!" I exclaimed. Kim gaped at me as I continued. "I mean, I figured the worst you would find was that he had another girlfriend on the side or something, or that he was gonna try and get you on drugs! No record? This is big!" I proclaimed, getting up to pace the floor restlessly in front of Kim.

She did nothing but gape at me for a few long moments, before finally, she broke down and started giggling. Softly at first, and then louder and louder till she was rolling on the floor laughing out loud. ROFLOL. Heh. Monique would love this. Never thought I'd see that in real life. Now it was my turn to stare at her in consternation, something that set her off even more. Finally, despite my confusion, I can't help but chuckle a bit too. I sit down, and wait for Kim's own laughing spell to die down. When it finally does, I give her a hand to help her up, even as she used the other to wipe laughing tears off her face.

"So what happened then? What was with the cold shoulder routine?" I asked. Kim was leaning against me comfortably now, her legs splayed out on the bench besides us. Whatever tension between us was already fading.

"I guess," she said softly, her own voice echoing the uncertainty of her thoughts, "I guess it was partly because I was so ashamed of what I had done, and that I didn't know how to apologize. I'm sorry Ron." She looked up over her shoulder so she could see meet my eyes when she apologized. I could see the sincerity there.

"Accepted, KP. See, that wasn't so hard," I grinned back at her. And it wasn't. It was easy actually. Hell, if KP could take all the weirdness I brought to the table, than I could take the few bumps that her own little flaws brought to it. "But what was the other part?"

Kim kicked off of me so she could sit upright properly. She hunched over, resting one elbow on her knee, and put her chin in her palm so that her head was tilted towards me. She gave me a small smile. "I guess the other part was me dealing with the fact that I had been used." She gave a small sad snort. "I spent a good bit of time crying, and asking myself if I'd ever find someone who would honestly love me, and feeling lonely."

I let loose a long breath of air, regarding her for a moment, before reaching out and swatting her upside the back of her head lightly. She yelped and her chin slipped off her hand. She turned to me with a grimace only to find my finger in her face. "Now that's quitter talk, KP! So you had some bad luck? That's no reason to quit! I mean, look at me," and I gestured down at myself, milking the goofy for all it was worth. KP arched an eyebrow at that, trying desperately not to smile at my silliness. "I get shot down all the time, but you don't see me giving up! I get right back up on that horse and try again." Kim stops trying to hold it back, and answers my own goofy grin with a brilliant smile of her own. I reached out and took one her hands with mine. In a serious tone, I continue. "Kim. Don't let one bad experience get you down. I'm sure that there's someone out there who can make you as happy as you deserve to be. Somewhere out there, as long as you don't stop looking."

Her large eyes met mine, and she rested her free hand on top of our joined ones. In a soft voice she whispered, "Out there. In here."

What?

Her free hand came up, and rested gently against my cheek, the softness of her fingers offset by the thick calluses' that hard combat had gifted her with. The combination of gentle and rough was like electricity on my skin. I couldn't stop myself from relishing the experience, even as my startled eyes were captivated by hers. She leaned in, still speaking softly. "A lot of what I was thinking of this week was of someone special to me. I hadn't realized how special till recently. I was scared, scared that if I took the chance, maybe everything would get screwed up, that it would all get ruined. But just recently, someone told me to live each day like it was my last. And I realized that maybe it'd screw everything up, but just maybe it would be better than I ever imagined it would be. And if I never made the effort, then I'd never know." Her breath was gentle against my lips, her face mere inches away. Her eyes consumed me, even more than anything Stephanie could manage on her best of days.

My voice a dry whisper as all the saliva in my mouth deserted me instantly I manage to croak out, "Who?" Oh Gods.

I could see her smile from the corner of my eyes. My beautiful Kim. "You, Ron." Her lips met mine.