Size Isn't Everything

Sirius Black was a procrastinator par excellence.

He waited until the last possible moment to do his homework. And even then he often copied his work from that of his best friend/mate/lover, Remus Lupin. Of course Remus objected to this practice, and he hated to encourage Sirius in his slothful behaviour. But when he considered that the alternative lay in possibly allowing the dark-haired wizard to fail his classes, then it seemed a small price to pay indeed.

It wasn't that Sirius didn't know his subjects. On the contrary, he was a very intelligent young man. So much so that he didn't need to study - like James, it came naturally to him. And he managed to get all his work done and turned in on time, even if that in time was by the skin of his teeth. So all was well. Except on those very rare moments when something went wonky at the last minute, and he suddenly found himself in a situation which he would never have wished upon himself. With no time to spare to rectify the situation.

Such as today.

Remus was growing impatient. If Sirius kept dawdling, they'd surely be late for class. And this was one class which they could not afford to miss - today was the final exam for Transformations, and everything hinged on this final. Not even a typical written test, it was the sum of everything they had done the entire year. They were to transform and enter class in that form - before the professor and everybody. No exceptions, no take-overs.

Which should have been child's play for Mr. Black. After all, he (and his fellow Marauders, Messr. Potter and Pettigrew) had become unregistered animagi, a skill beyond the ken of most adults. So this was surely an easy A, right?

Wrong! For Mr. Black, having grown cocky, had taken a simple transformation, and played around with it, to the point of being sublimely ridiculous - and then had become stuck! Now he was desperately trying to undo what he had done. He could not appear in class this way, he simply could not! He was in the loo in the dorm even now, trying everything he knew to effect a change, but so far to no avail.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed, almost frantically, feeling the time pulling away from them. He had managed his own transformation quite well, and everything was as it should be, not a hair out of place. James had laughingly told him he was almost as pretty as Lily, which earned his friend a dirty look, and a near hex. "Do you want to pass Transformations or not? GET OUT HERE NOW!"

He held his breath and waited. A moment later he heard a loud prolonged sigh, and then Sirius hove into view. If Remus hadn't known who it was, he probably would not have recognized him. He had to admit that Sirius made a pretty girl, even if females weren't particularly to his liking, but this was just a bit too much.

"No luck, eh?" he said sympathetically, as Sirius made a rueful moue.

"None whatsoever, I'll be a laughingstock, Remy," he protested, as Remus led him toward the door.

"No choice, love, we have to go," Remus said insistently, "we must go...."

And go they did, their entrance into the Transformation classroom causing quite a stir, especially among the boys, who stared with obvious fascination at Sirius' chest.

"What size are those?" James wanted to know, making crude gestures toward his own chest, while Dedalus cried out, "Hubba hubba!" with great glee.

"Double H's or J's, I lost track," Sirius admitted, blushing, as the Transformations Professor entered the classroom, calling out, "Good afternoon," before stopping to stare in open-mouthed awe at Sirius' new chest.

"Don't worry, baby," Remus whispered in Sirius' ear, as they took their accustomed places together at their usual table, "I'll make it up to you later, we'll get rid of those horrible things, I promise." Remus was not a breast man, for obvious reasons. He squeezed Sirius' hand reassuringly, just before he slapped away James' hand, which was encroaching onto his territory, glaring at the boy, then placing a protective spell about his lover.

He had a feeling that it would be a long long class, the way the guys were all staring at Sirius' ginormous knockers. On the other hand, Sirius was almost assured of an A, he sighed. So at least something good would come out of it. He squeezed Sirius' hand again, for good measure, and settled in for the long haul, with a sigh.