Raph had never been one to think things through, most of his actions in the past had been based on pure instinct or raw emotion. He wasn't sure which one had lead him to follow after Don, but he found himself walking into the lab and wondering suddenly what he intended to do. He watched as his brother stood over his work desk, back turned to him, a faint tremble to his shoulders. It occurred to Raph that Leo probably would have known exactly what to do or say in his place, and he realized also how much he envied his older brother for that. How much he wanted to be that…at least just this once. This was his brother, this was Donatello, and he sure as hell was gonna try.

"Don."

"You should have woken me up sooner."

Raph was stunned for a moment by his brothers quiet accusing tone, but anger soon followed and he was on the offense.

"Why? So you could collapse in exhaustion?" he countered. "I was comin' to get ya just like I said I would. There wasn't no sense in getting you up any sooner, and ya said he'd be okay for a few more days so-"

"I was wrong!" Don yelled, turning to face him. "I was wrong, okay? I made a huge mistake, I miscalculated, and Mikey almost-" with a pained sound he turned back to his desk.

Raph frowned. "This aint yer fault."

Don shook his head, not wanting to turn and let Raph see how hard he was fighting tears.

"It doesn't change anything."

Raph felt his hands clenching anxiously at his sides, not liking how defeated his brother sounded.

"Stop talkin' like it's already too late." he demanded. "Mikey's still here, he's still fightin', and I ain't gonna just give up on 'im"

Don turned, eyes wide.

"I'm not giving up on him."

"Then why the shell are you standing here beating yerself up over some mistake, when ya should be looking for a way to fix this?"

"That's just it Raph- I don't know if I can fix this!" Don yelled, his voice anguished. "Even if I do manage to make some kind of anti-dote, I can't be certain it will even work." He turned his head away. "What if I mess this up? If I can't…if Mikey…if we l-lose him."

"That ain't gonna happen." Raph snapped. "We ain't losin' anybody."

Don looked up, eyes brimming with tears, his voice thick. "We lost Sensei."

Before Raph could even identify all the emotions those words provoked, he found himself pushing his brother back into his desk, gripping his shoulders tightly, and glaring into his still haunted gaze.

"Damn it, Don!" he yelled, giving his brother a firm shake. "That wasn't yer fault!"

"He was sick," Don replied brokenly. "It was my job-"

"It wasn't yer freakin' job! Masta Splinter was old, there wasn't anything ya could do to change that! There wasn't anything any one of us could do!" Raph shut his eyes tight, his voice lowered. "Ya think I hadn't thought about it before?..That I hadn't wanted to just kidnap some doctor or..or steal some kinda medicine for him or something. Sensie wouldn't have approved but.."

He stopped for a moment.

"Raph?"

Dons voice was quiet, concerned, but Raph shook his head- trying to push away the unpleasant emotions resurfacing inside him.

"But none of that matters now." he managed, finally looking up at his brother's uncertain gaze with a determined one of his own. "You understand, Don? This isn't the same as what happened with Master Splinter, and I'm sure as hell not gonna sit back and watch you destroy yerself over it. I can't do that, Donnie….I can't stand seein' you like that."

Suddenly feeling as if he had said too much, he released his grip on Donatello's shoulders and took a small step back. Don stared up at him with wide eyes, not as much shocked as he seemed awed and surprised; and something else that Raph couldn't quite place.

"Raph..I.." Don's voice wavered for a moment, but then he blinked and his expression became more resolved.

"I'll do my best."

Raph smirked slightly at the determined glint in his brothers eyes.

"That's all we ask, bro."

Don smiled back, expression softening.

"Thanks."

"Any time, Don."

Raph found himself once again getting lost in his brothers gaze and had to force himself to look away, embarrassed and upset at himself. 'Damn it…can't keep doin' that. He's gonna notice something's up.'

"So..uh…you need any help?"

"Oh." Don blinked, also having lost track of himself, he turned his head to hide a blush. "No thanks Raph, I really need to get working and I can't afford to be..uh.."

"Distracted?"

Don looked up, eyes wide. Had his brother noticed his reaction?

"Relax, Don. I get it." Raph smiled slightly, but it looked forced.

Don felt his heart beat pick up, "Y-you do?"

"Yeah.-I ain't much good in this department." Raph looked away, frowning slightly to himself. "Ya don't need me getting' in yer way. I understand."

"Huh?" Don blinked, frowning once he realized what his brother meant. "Raph…That's not.."

Raph turned to leave, "Just come get me when yer done."

Don barely managed to stammer out a reply before Raph disappeared from view, leaving him to get back to his research. He shook his head, trying hard to push his thoughts and feelings about his red banded brother from his mind...and wondering if Raph realized how much of a distraction he really was...even when he wasn't there.