Goth Lolita apologizes for her current obsession with one-shots. If anyone wants to continue one of them, let her know.

Ah, the horrid disclaimer, bane of my existence…No, I do not own, no matter how much I wish I did.

I wrote this in about half an hour on my vacation to South Carolina, for my Creative Writing class. Then, I realized that, technically, it's plagiarism, and I couldn't hand it in for a grade. I wrote up an amusing piece on airport security instead, so now, y'all can enjoy this.

-Youko thinking/ talking to Kurama/ Hiei-

'Kurama thinking/ talking to Youko/ Hiei'

Hiei thinking/ talking to Youko/ Kurama

Kurama wrinkled his nose, as he and Hiei walked through the Makai marketplace. Normally, you wouldn't ever find Kurama in such a place. However, as it so happens, Kurama answers to a higher power- namely, Koenma, the Prince of Reikai.

Yeah, sucks to be Kurama.

So, why, exactly, had Koenma ordered Hiei and Kurama to this black market?

The toddler-deity had received information that a highly illegal sale would be taking place today.

The items up for sale?

Humans, fresh from Ningenkai.

So, Koenma had sent Hiei and Kurama. He had not informed Yusuke or Kuwabara of it, for fear that the two ningen members of his detective team might go insanely blood rage-y, and destroy all the Makai.

Hey, it's possible.

Back to the story.

The sale had already started by the time the two arrived. "-young woman, and a boy-child. Sold separately, or as a set." the demon acting as the barker announced.

The two humans in question were shoved onto the stage. They looked similar enough to be siblings. They had the same features, though the girl was obviously older, and had blue eyes, unlike the smaller male hiding behind her. "The bidding begins at 500 ryo."

A green toad-like being scurried forward. The barker and the…thing exchanged words. The barker paled, before speaking out loud again. "These two are off the block!"

The girl and the boy followed the toad through the crowd, to a tall, aristocratic demon.

-That's Sesshomaru.- Youko said in awe. -He hates ningen. Why would he buy two?-

Kurama suddenly got a sinking feeling, as the human girl glared at Sesshomaru, and the imposing taiyoukai looked impassively back.

"You break up the sale." he told Hiei. "I'll go get the ningen." Hiei gave a short 'hn.', and flickered out of sight.

Kurama moved close enough to hear the conversation between Sesshomaru and the ningens.

"I suppose you think you own me now." the girl snapped.

"Onna, this Sesshomaru did buy you." he replied dryly.

She stomped her foot. "You do not own me, Sesshomaru." she hissed.

"Foolish wench, do not address the great Sesshomaru-sama so disrespectfully!" the toad screeched.

"Awww, shut up, Jaken." a new voice joined the discussion. A red kitsune, younger than Youko, sauntered up, a pretty young woman on his arm.

"Imouto. Kit." Sesshomaru greeted.

"Shippo-kun! Rin-chan!" the ningen woman exclaimed.

The fox blinked. "O-kaa-san? Uncle Souta?" he said in bewilderment. "What are you doing in Makai?"

-'O-kaa-san'?-

'Shhh, Youko. I'm trying to hear.'

The ningen girl shrugged. "Some low-life youkai grabbed Souta on his way home from soccer. I came after them, and, well, here we are." She ruffled her brother's hair affectionately.

"Which youkai?" Shippo growled. "Shippo-kun, it's okay." the girl told him.

"No, it's not." the fox replied. "Which one, Kagome?"

"Kit, this Sesshomaru believes the onna is referring to Koenma's detective, currently in the act of slaughtering the slave-traders." Sesshomaru said.

"Well, him…and the silver kitsune that's been listening to us." Kagome said. "And, Sesshomaru, you know my name perfectly well. Ka. Go. Me. Not 'wench', or 'onna', or whatever else you can think of calling me."

"You let yourself be captured. Therefore, this Sesshomaru will not address you by your name…onna." Sesshomaru smirked.

Kagome let out a long-suffering sigh, and said loudly, "Well, kitsune-san, unless you're here to protect us against icy youkai lords with insufferable superiority complexes, no one here is in need of rescuing, so you might as well leave."

"If he's any good of a kitsune, that'll only make him more curious." Shippo muttered.

Sure enough, Kurama stepped forward.

-Don't introduce yourself, Red.-

'I have manners, Youko. Unlike you.'

-…Don't say I didn't warn you…-

Kurama tuned out the ancient kitsune, and bowed to the group. "Hello. I am Kurama, and -"

Sesshomaru moved in front of Kagome protectively. "Youko Kurama." he said, voice dangerous. "Leave. There is nothing for you to steal here."

'Youko, did you do something to make him want to kill you?'

-How could you even think that, Red?-

'Because that's the only way I can talk to you?'

Because the avatar know you, fox.

-Ah, well…yes, there is that.-

"Come on, o-kaa-san, Uncle Souta, let's get you back to Ningenkai." Shippo said. "Give me a second, Shippo." Kagome said.

She turned to face Sesshomaru. "Don't be mad at me, please, Sesshomaru?" she asked.

The taiyoukai was emotionless for a moment, before wrapping the petite girl in his arms.

"This Sesshomaru worries about you." he murmured against her hair. "Sessho, let go of me." Kagome said. "People are staring."

"They wouldn't, if you agreed to the mating mark." he grumbled, releasing her.

"I'd agree to the mating mark, if you'd let me have a normal wedding, first." Kagome said tartly, hands on her hips.

Kurama gaped.

'I thought you said he hated ningen.'

-He did!-

Obviously, something changed, if he's mating one, fox.

-Well, aren't you an observant one, short-stuff.-

A heavily bleeding youkai dragged himself to Sesshomaru.

-Looks like you missed one.-

Hn. Like you could do better.

'Shut up, please.'

The new youkai spoke. "My lord, I beg you, protect me from the abomination." "Why should this Sesshomaru do that?" he asked coldly, as Kagome inquired, "Abomination?"

Her expression turned horrified, as Shippo gave a short explanation of the Forbidden children.

Kagome knelt next to the youkai. "Sessho, let me take care of him." The taiyoukai gave a slight nod.

"Don't worry," she told the wounded youkai. "I'm a healer."

He relaxed for a short moment, before suddenly beginning to scream in agony.

"Of course, I'm fairly good at purification, as well." Kagome continued. "Tell them in hell, that the Shikon Miko sent you."

All that was left of the youkai was ashes. And even those were soon blown away in the wind.

"If you're done, o-kaa-san, I think it's time you and Uncle Souta went home." Shippo said.

"Sorry, Shippo." Kagome said contritely. "But, these…what did you call them, Forbidden children?…they remind me of how people used to treat him…InuYasha…" Kagome, Shippo, Souta and Rin (bet you forgot she was there, didn't you?) left. Sesshomaru and Jaken departed, as well.

-The Shikon Miko?!? That lying bastard, there was too stuff for me to steal!-

'Like what?'

If you want him to shut up anytime soon, do not encourage him.

'I'm curious.'

-'Like what?' Like what?!?- Youko ranted, ignoring the other two.

'That is what I asked, Youko.'

-Have I taught you nothing, Red?!-

'I'd like to think so.'

He has you there, fox.

-Wha- no, never mind. The point is, that was the Shikon Miko! As in the Shikon no Tama! As in the jewel that grants you unlimited power!-

Get to your point.

-Why do neither of you seem to grasp the fact that the Shikon no Tama was. Right. There. AND I LET IT GO?!?!?-

What would you do with such a thing, fox? You have no hands of your own, to hold it.

-Fine. Forget the jewel. The miko was…words fail to describe such pure beauty…-

I repeat what I said about the hands.

'And she seems to have something with Sesshomaru…not to mention that InuYasha she mentioned.'

-What's she want with an old inu like him? We could change her mind, Red. And, obviously, she doesn't have anything against hanyou babies, if her reaction to short-stuff is anything to go by.-

What?