a perfectly straight line

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people moving all the time inside a perfectly straight line

don't you want to curve away, oh it's such a perfect day

--"Strawberry Swing," Coldplay

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She doesn't remember a time when she wasn't one half of the oh so perfect couple, FrankandAlice. And she doesn't remember a time when it wasn't JamesandLily, the couple that everyone wanted because isn't it romantic, and don't you think they'll get together soon?

They're all perfectly set up for the rest of their lives, Alice can see it now. Before they graduate Hogwarts, Lily will decide that why, she does love James after all, and they'll be a happy, adorable couple for the rest of their lives. And Frank will ask Alice to marry him, and she'll say yes, and they'll be happy and adorable, and be best friends with James and Lily, and nothing out of the ordinary will ever happen, because this is how their lives are supposed to be.

And just the thought of this perfect, happy, adorable life makes Alice want to scream, and she can't tell anyone because she knows that Frank would never understand, and she knows that Lily would simply scoff and say that she won't marry James and Alice will have to indulge Lily and agree, and she knows that James would beam and say he certainly hopes that's how it'll turn out.

And she knows all this, so she keeps it inside, and she sometimes thinks she's smothering in the sheer perfection of it all. And maybe that's why she craves an escape, an upset, a curve from this straight line of happiness and adorableness that she's heading down.

So when she sees James sulking in the Gryffindor common room, after Lily has rejected him and flounced upstairs for the umpteenth time, she doesn't think twice about sitting down next to him and comforting him. He's her friend, that's what she's supposed to do. And when James smiles sadly and mutters something about her always being there for him, Alice feels her heart quicken, and takes his hand.

And when that comfort leads to James turning to her and hesitantly cupping her face with his hand, she doesn't blink. And when he leans in and kisses her, and it's new and exciting and so unlike the steady comfort and familiarity of Frank's kisses, she kisses him back, and doesn't think of Lily and Frank and how she's betraying them.

She kisses him and he kisses her, and they both know it's meaningless; that James is just doing this to forget Lily, and Alice is just doing this for an escape. But they kiss and kiss, and Alice pretends that when James looks at her, he's really seeing her and not just searching for shockingly red hair and brilliant green eyes.

The next morning, Lily comes down and giggles and says she may have been too harsh last night, but sure, she'll go out with James, if he promises to behave himself. And James lights up, and in that instant, Alice can see perfectly how the rest of their lives will go, and she wants to scream no, no, no and what about me and I'll love you for who you really are, Lily won't, I will.

But she doesn't, she's silent as James lets out a roar of delight and Frank hugs Lily and pats James on the shoulder and turns to Alice and kisses her on the cheek, and Alice forces herself to take his hand and smile brightly at Lily and be the supportive best friend when really, she sort of hates Lily.

James grins at Frank and Alice, and Alice knows that he's not really seeing her, he's seeing FrankandAlice, his new girlfriend's best friends, and that he's already forgotten about last night and their kisses.

And it's FrankandAlice and JamesandLily, and there's no room for any changes, any escapes, and they can all see how their lives will turn out, and it's only Alice who has to bite her lip to keep from screaming.

It's only Alice who can't breathe in the horrible perfection of it all.


for the Love Triangle challenge (James/Lily/Alice). Review? :)