After a few days the pain and stiffness from the bites and beatings Neave and Lochlan inflicted on me seemed to improve enough to allow me to attend Tray's funeral. Amelia and I were both clad in black as we attended the sombre event, and cried the whole way through. Many had turned out, and even Bobby Burnham was there (under orders of course) to represent the vampires that Tray died serving. Amelia seemed to bond with Tray's ex-wife and son and promised to stay in contact with them following the funeral. I was not too sure she would, and doubted she'd even want to stay in contact with me.

"I don't blame you for his death," she lied as we made our way back from the funeral. She sometimes seemed to forget that she was such a loud broadcaster in range of a telepath, and although her thoughts were not malicious, the truth was that she held me responsible for Tray's death.

I wasn't surprised the next day when she announced that she was to return to New Orleans immediately to meet back up with Octavia and work for her dad. I didn't put up a fight, but was sad to see her leave. She'd been my only company of late, and now that Claudine was dead and Niall had closed the portals between the realms I seemed to have very little friends and family left. I hoped that one day she may forgive me enough to come and see me, but I felt I deserved all I got from her. She'd finally found the man of her dreams and he'd died protecting me.

I hadn't worked since the torment, and was grateful that Eric had propositioned Felipe de Castro into giving me the money Sophie-Anne le Clerq had promised me for my helping her in Rhodes. It also seemed that Eric had negotiated some extra for the fact that I'd saved his and de Castro's neck's from Sigebert's wrath. I had a feeling though that it would come back to bite me in the ass eventually.

I was becoming unwilling to go outside, and grateful when Sam called to see if he could help me at all. I'd written a grocery list and left Sam the money to buy what I needed. I was a little embarrassed that I had to rely on Sam in that way, but he assured me of his friendship and pointed out that I would have done the same thing for him if he was out of action.

He told me that Merlottes was much the same as ever, and the story of me having a car accident had been bought by most – people who were unwilling and too small minded to believe that there was such horror out there as Thing One and Thing Two. I sometimes wished I was one of them, and felt jealous at the blissful ignorance of the time before Bill Compton walked into Merlottes and changed my life forever.

I was anxious to see Bill, but as that involved leaving my house to cross the cemetery to his, it was not something I was able to contemplate just yet. I made a mental note to ask Eric on his progress next time I saw him. If I saw him, that is.

I'd felt anxious and alone without Eric, and had not seen him since he'd brought me home following my 'discharge' from Dr Ludwig's hospital. In the few days since I'd hardly eaten anything, and slept for no longer than 20 minutes at a time. I seemed to spend most of my time aimlessly wandering around my house, trying my damnest no too think about the horrors I went through, or the fact that Eric seemed to have abandoned me again since the attack. There was nothing I needed more than to feel my vampire's arms around me, to feel his support – yet that was the one thing I did not have.

Eric had told me that he was unable to give me any more blood for my healing as we were close to that undefined limit, and seemed to stay away for that reason. What he didn't realise was that his very presence healed me in ways I never thought possible. I yearned for him – every time I heard a noise outside I listed for the tell-tale signs of his corvette coming up the still gravelled drive, or listed for a gentle tap at my window. As I pined for Eric I could tell that there were vampires in my woods at night, and I suspected that there may be weres or shifters in their place during the day. I did know that Eric would not leave me unprotected.

It was two nights following Tray's funeral and the day after Amelia left that Eric finally showed up. I'd spent much of the day napping on and off and had not eaten anything all day. I was in the kitchen absently putting some soup in the microwave when I felt his presence. I hadn't heard his car so guessed that he must have flown here.

He was standing in my kitchen in his trademark black fantasia t-shirt, black jeans and boots and his hair was windswept from his flight over. His sapphire blue eyes bore into me with an intensity that made my knees go week, and I had to hold onto the counter for support. Our gaze was interrupted by the beep of the microwave, and I quickly turned to retrieve my bowl while popping in a True Blood for Eric. After the customary 15 seconds, I removed the blood, shook it and handed it to Eric. It was only at this time did I realise that my hand was shaking.

"How have you been, lover," he asked, eyes still boring into mine, ignoring the blood I'd handed to him.

"Okay, I guess. I still hurt and I can't stop thinking about what happened to me, to Claudine, Tray, Clancy and poor Bill. How is he?"

"I'm more concerned about you, have you been sleeping okay?" He'd stepped closer to me, eyes still on mine, studying me for a reaction while drinking his blood and discarding the bottle in the sink.

"On and off, I keep on having nightmares that I'm taken again, and no one can hear me and no one comes. I relive the pain, biting and torment they inflicted on me. And then I wake up alone and in tears, and I have no one to talk to." I know that I'm whining, but I can't help myself. "You never come to me in my dreams," I whispered, feeling my anger rise, "just like you didn't come when they took me."

I saw a look of pain and guilt cross his beautiful face, and felt it in the bond as well, along with a glimpse of anger. Why was he angry? Did he blame me for being taken? Does he regret getting involved with me? My emotions were all over the place and changing at a million miles an hour.

"Sookie."

I'd turned my back on him and picked up my soup, loudly slurping up the contents of my bowl even though I did not feel like eating. I couldn't face him, it hurt too much that he'd sent Niall and Bill to rescue me rather than coming himself. What was so important that he couldn't come and rescue his bonded and wife from being tortured. Wife? Was I really admitting that to myself now? It certainly wasn't how I'd planned on marrying Eric. I'd had many a fantasy in the months following his curse that we would have a beautiful wedding with friends and family. I didn't expect my marriage to be in Eric's office with the slimy Victor Madden as witness. But then that's vampire politics for you.

"What, Eric?" I snapped, turning and glaring at him.

"Please don't think that I wasn't there for you," he almost whispered, taking a seat at the table. He put his head in his hands, clutching at his hair and staring at the floor. His grief was almost overbearing, and I had to take a seat before I crumpled to the floor. I realised that tears were running from my eyes, and when Eric looked up I saw that his eyes were rimmed with pink tears.

My heart broke seeing him in such pain, knowing it was my words that caused it. "Please tell me where you were. Why did you send Bill and Niall and not come for me yourself?" I moved closer to him and he turned to look at me, a single pink tear falling down his handsome face. I couldn't help myself from running a finger under the tear and popping it in my mouth.

Eric smiled at this gesture, but his face quickly went sombre again. "When Bill called to say that he'd lost you and you'd been taken I was about to fly out of Fangtasia to join the search when I saw de Castro and Madden walk into the bar. I saw the look on de Castro's face and knew that I would have to explain why I needed to leave. Then I felt your pain, it blind-sided me, and I fell to the floor in agony. I knew that you would not survive such torment without my help, and I pushed all the strength I could through the bond, while absorbing as much of the pain as possible. I explained to de Castro and Madden what had happened and that I needed to go to you, but they were insistent that we talk through the area business they had come to discuss." He looked up at me to gage my reaction to what he was telling me.

I realised that I probably had felt Eric through the bond when Thing One and Thing Two were having their fun with body, and also realised that the torture they were subjecting me to would not have been survivable by anyone else. Did Eric save my life without me realising it? I felt a surge of guilt that I'd been blaming him, but this was quickly overpowered by more anger.

"Fine," I snapped, standing up and walking away from him to put my bowl in the sink. "But why not leave de Castro and Madden anyway and come to me, aren't I under his protection for saving his ass from Sigebert? Wouldn't you be doing them a favour in coming to rescue me? Fuck the area business! You should have come to get me." I sobbed, annoyed that I'd cursed at Eric, but being unable to stop myself with the anger I was feeling.

Eric stood up and I felt his strong hands on my waist. He lifted me up and sat me up on the counter, standing between my legs as his hands held my hips in place to stop me from struggling against him. I started to protest, but he stopped me by placing a firm kiss over my mouth. If I hadn't been so tightly wound up I would have reciprocated his affection, but I struggled against him.

He looked deeply into my eyes, and I swore he could see into the depths of my soul. He let out an unnecessary breath and continued his explanation. "Sookie... if I'd gone against de Castro at that point he'd have happily killed me for my insubordination. He'd given me a direct order in front of Madden, Pam and other area vampires that I was not to go to you until the meeting was over, and if I had tried to do so he would have had reason to kill me then and there."

The thought of de Castro killing Eric filled be with fear, and I thought I might hyperventilate were it not for the calm coming through the bond and the small circles Eric was rubbing on my back with his large hands.

"Surely you could take de Castro out? You're the strongest vampire I know, you were a Viking warrior, could you not have fought against them?"

He looked deep into my eyes and leaned in, resting his head against mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he continued.

"I was weakened by your pain and suffering, I was trying to absorb all I could to help you. I would not have had the strength to fight de Castro and Madden. It was a no win situation. I'd managed to call Niall before my meeting with the Nevada vamps and I knew that Niall and Bill would do everything they could to help you. They were the two I knew that would not stop until they had you safe."

He leaned back and looked in my eyes again, probing the bond for some indication of what I was feeling. Truth is that I didn't know what to feel. He didn't come to me to help, and sent Bill and Niall in his place, but then without his strength I probably wouldn't have survived the torment and torture Neave and Lochlan inflicted on me. I felt his guilt and his sorrow and again saw a single tear role down his perfect cheek.

It hurt to see this great warrior of a man in such a way, and it increased my guilt that it was me causing him this pain. I realised I had no reason to blame him, and his reaction to my deadly situation only showed how much he loved me. Wait, love? Niall told me that the vampire loved me, but never quite clarified which one he meant. Sure Bill had come to my rescue, yet under his Sheriff's orders – would he have risked final death to come and get me without a direct order from Eric. I know Bill still had feelings for me, but I was beginning to have my doubts he would risk his existence for me the way Eric would. Eric had always been there for me, whether I needed him to. He may have been manipulative, but since saving me from Longshadow the second time I met him and that bullet in Dallas, he had always been there for me, and chastised me for risking my life when he could not help me.

I knew I had to ask Bill these questions, I had to be sure that it was Eric who was the vampire Niall meant. But my feelings for Eric were in the here are now, and I looked back at Eric landing a soft kiss on his cheek where his tear had left a mark. He ran his hands down my legs, and I winced as his hands came across some of the bites and bruises. As I was wearing a pair of long sleep pants he was not able to see the extent of my injuries.

"You're still hurting? I can help if you'll let me," his eyes almost pleaded with me, and I couldn't refuse his help. He stepped back and I hopped of the counter, taking his hand in mine and leading to my bedroom. He quickly shred his boots, jeans and t-shirt and then gently removed my vest top and pants, sitting me down on the bed and surveying my injuries with his vampire sight.

I was watching his face carefully as he examined my injuries, gasping as he gently touched the worse ones. I could see the concern and hurt both through the bond and on his face, and when his eyes returned to mine he eyes were deep pools of blue that I felt I could dive into.

"I can heal you if you'll let me," Eric asked earnestly.

I was surprised as he'd told me we'd reached that mystical limit that could not be crossed, and asked whether it was okay for him to give me more of his blood. "I thought you weren't able to give me more blood, I don't want to become a vampire, you know that, Eric."

"I know Sookie, and I give you my word that I will never turn you without your permission, or ask anyone to do the same. I know that you do not wish to be vampire" I could tell that he was stating the truth, and I was grateful for that, but I also detected a hint of sadness through the bond. "And you have had a lot of my blood recently, we may not be able to exchange blood for another week or so, and then only a small amount, but my blood on your skin will help the healing process and will not endanger you."

I nodded my permission and he pricked his finger on his fangs and gently rubbed his blood into the worse of the my bites and bruises. I felt instantly better, not only from the blood working its magic in my wounds, but the very fact that Eric was languishing this attention on me. I winced further when his hand found its way to my sensitive area, and I lifted by bottom of the bed to allow Eric to remove my panties easily.

I felt the sorrow in the bond as he attended to these bites with care, and he was meticulous in his work, continually re-biting his fingers to apply his blood to the bites.

When he was finished he crept back up the bed and pulled me to him, my back to my chest. He pushed calming feelings through the bond and I felt at ease, more at ease than I had before I was taken by the evil fairies. He pulled the covers over us and I slipped into a deep sleep, happy and content for the first time in days.