I brought him back.

Three years late, but I did it. I finally made good on my promise to you. For me, it really was the promise of a lifetime. Maybe for you it was just a dream.

He put his chirpy bird thing through my entire shoulder- through my lung. Again. But I beat him.

For you.

I couldn't breathe, for a minute, Sakura. My heart actually stopped beating. It sounds stupid, but I saw my life flash before my eyes.

I saw you. Nowhere in space, nowhere in time. Just you, leaning against a cherry tree, smiling at me. Then I saw you crying. I couldn't take that. So I brought out a little more, just barely more than he could. Because as much rage as that guy has, I have just a little more love.

The curse mark went away too. I guess it ran out of chakra in the fight. I pushed him that far, I pushed both of us that far, for you. We both almost died in that valley. Just like it was the first time.

Kakashi didn't say anything. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He put his hand on my back though, like Iruka used to. Then he picked us up, and we came back here.

I woke up in the hospital to an empty room and bare white walls. The blinds were closed, there was no food, no blankets even. Later they'd say I had been sweating through them too often. The monitor's steady beep was what woke me up at first. Then I head a nurse coming to check on me. I didn't want to talk to her, though, and I didn't know her name, so I pretended to be asleep.

About an hour later, Kakashi and Jiraiya came in. We talked, they congratulated me, and so on. Then Baachan came in, and told me I could leave the hospital. You never came, but I kinda knew you wouldn't and I can't say I'd blame you.

I walked down the front steps and went home. Nothing to eat, nothing to do, so I went to Ichiraku's, but they were closed. Ayame's birthday, or something. I wanted to wish her a happy birthday, but didn't know where to look. Shikamaru, Choji and Ino were all on some mission to the Land of Waves, something about bomb threats to the bridge. Whatever.

Neji, TenTen and Lee were out of town on courier business, taking letters to the other Kages to change Sasuke's status from missing-nin.

Hinata, Kiba and Shino were out "team bonding" in the woods. I don't even know what that was about.

Damn, even Jiraiya and Kakashi were gone, drinking. Drinking.

So basically, I had nothing to do and nobody to do it with anyway. So, I started a garden. I mean, what other pointless task is so rewarding? You get to keep your produce, maybe eat healthier, and I was kind of proud of my work for a while.

That got boring too, so I went to go train. Unsurprisingly, I was way more tired than I had realized, so I collapsed upon making a single clone. I woke up about an hour later, to some animal taking a big one on my back.

On my way home, to shower and maybe take a nap, I saw you with him for the first time. He always looked kind of distant, but you looked genuinely happy.

So even though I was honestly pretty disappointed, I mean you could have said hello at least, I was happy for you. I had made good on my promise- the promise of a lifetime.

Then I realized that after fulfilling that promise, I had no purpose. We'd beaten Akatsuki, and most of the Biju were gone for good, either through the execution of their hosts or forced extraction. Obviously I still wanted to be Hokage, but even that dream faded into the distant future.

I'd only ever wanted to be Hokage to impress you. Did you know that? All these years, all the work, all the missions, all the bravado, I never cared about the office itself. But I thought that if I had it, people would recognize me. They'd look down at their kids and say, I want you to be just like him. And the kids would say, Okay, mommy. And my face would be carved in the rock, right next to Baachan.

Then, maybe you'd like to go get some ramen with me.

But, you see, I gave up on loving you. The second I knew I'd beaten Sasuke, I chose to let go. Because with him back, you would be all over him and forget that we'd actually become friends. And if that made you happy, I wanted it to happen. Whenever you need me, I'll still be there.

But I won't be hoping for a kind word, waiting for a friendly nudge, doing whatever you want me to do just for the privilege of being with you. It's Sasuke's turn.

When I became Hokage, the village lit up with celebration. They'd gotten over the Kyuubi mess long before, but only then were they actually willing to congratulate me as their head. I looked down upon the multitude of families, ninja and civilians, rich and poor, tired and weak mixed with strong and bright, and I saw my new love. I decided then that no matter what, the village would always be my first priority. I would work alone, although I hired Shikamaru as an assistant. I wasn't full of that idiotic self-pity, though. I just didn't have any use for sentiment. Sentiment doesn't get anything done, and I had nobody to share it with.

When Kakashi died, I admit it hit me harder than it should have. I still go to the memorial stone every week, sometimes crying, sometimes wondering why I wasn't. He was a good teacher, the kind of man you'd follow anywhere at a moment's notice.

But, so it goes.

I guess I'd always know Sasuke was his favorite. And I know it was unfair of me to think of that when I thought of him, but I can't help it. I might be the Hokage, but Sasuke is still the cool kid.

Ah, that hurt a bit. Sorry for moving.

Anyway, my time as Hokage was honestly pretty disappointing. Yes, I drafted the first universal shinobi treaty. But I'm not the kind of fool who believes in lasting peace. Not now, anyway. There were no major wars, no famines, no scandals. I admit, it was simply boring. Maybe Konoha was content with peace and prosperity, but somewhere the rambunctious ten year old in me wanted to be a savior, the kind of Hokage they write stories about as well as textbooks.

Is that the anesthetic? That's nice.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that nothing ever satisfied me in my entire life. Nothing but my promise to you.

Thank you for being the love that I lived for. But damn if I ever found anything else that was worth it.

I don't mean to burden you with this, after holding it in for so long. But I had to explain, just a little bit, so someone would remember the real me.

Goodbye, Sakura-chan. Maybe we can have some ramen in heaven.

"His heart stopped! We're losing him!"

"We're just incapable of breathing for him! It's like his system just stopped functioning, for no reason!"

"He's just… gone…"

That night, Sakura thought about the dying Hokage's last words.

About how he never stopped loving her, even when he thought he had.

About how Sasuke barely talked to her anymore, and spent hours a day training his "heir".

How his booming voice tore a her in the evenings when she forgot to wash his undercoats.

About how hard he had worked for her, and how she was his only special person.

About how she missed out on what real love was, and could never get it back.

She'd never voice these thoughts.

But by God, when it was time she'd have that ramen in heaven. With him.

My first fanfiction, hope you liked it :) please review so I can improve.