Disclaimer: I acknowledge that I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or universe. No offense is meant by the situations portrayed in this or any other fanworks.

Chapter Six

He went to Mona's for Christmas. Sometimes for Christmas he went home, sometimes he stayed at school, but this year he went to her house. Their trailer was parked in a snow drift. The inside was draped with garland and lights. Severus didn't expect Death Eaters to be so… festive, but they were. They had a tree so large that it bent against the ceiling. There was a healthy hill of presents beneath it.

Before Severus left, he dropped a small gift off at Lily's. It was a book he had been raving to her about, and she ended up giving him some piece of trash muggle-fiction. Something called "Johnny Got his Gun." Severus brought it with him since he knew Mona read muggle garbage and he hoped she'd summarize it for him to save him from reading it.

Her brothers acted like nothing had happened between them, but he noticed the bronze lurcher avoided him. Mona's mum looked remarkably thinner, but it wasn't a healthy thin. Her once full cheeks now sagged on either side of her face. Her old weight hung from her stomach and arms. But she did look happy to see Severus. She acted as if he was a prodigal son, returning. He was uneasy at how much his return to the trailer felt like a homecoming.

"Yer sure yer parents don't mind?" Mona asked, dropping Severus' bag on her bed.

"They don't mind," Severus said. "Really."

Mona nodded and sat down on her bed. Smiling, Snape leaned forward and kissed her. He crawled onto the bed beside her and they curled up together on it. Snape played with the handle of his duffle bag with his foot. "I'm so glad I'm here," he said.

"I am too," she replied, kissing his neck. "Is there something for me in your luggage?"

"I can think of a few places that are hiding things for you," he murmured.

"Oh really?" she asked, raising a brow.

The two hadn't had much time to be intimate since the Slughorn's Christmas party. Really, there hadn't been much time at Hogwarts since the Christmas party, but Snape wasn't as willing to snog in dark corners like Mona was. And he appreciated that she respected that.

But in the privacy of her own room, that he was all right with. In fact, he had been looking forward to giving her a good snog. Maybe not anything further, but a snog at least.

He lifted up her shirt to kiss her stomach. He felt her fingers run through his hair.

Severus couldn't believe how much she liked touching him, let alone teasing her fingers into his greasy hair. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate her affection, he just began doubting her sincerity.

He raised his head up, his hand now resting on her stomach. "May I ask you something?" he asked.

"Depends if yer gonna stop and get all chatty," she replied, smirking.

"I'll just listen," he replied.

"All right, ask away, Sev," she said.

"Why are you in Slytherin house?" he asked.

"Yer kiddin'," she replied.

"No," he said. "I mean, you've always been nothing but kind to me. I've never seen you be particularly cunning and, aside from trying to get a job at the Ministry, you're not particularly ambitious and-"

"And I'm not an asshole like Lu," she added.

He laughed. "Your words, not mine. It's just, you're patient. You wait for things to play out instead of being the one that makes changes."

He helped her pull her shirt over her head. He pushed her against the wall, kissing her neck again. "I'm waiting for a response," he said.

"Yeh want ter make sure I'm not playing yeh," Mona said, seriously. "That I don't have a game."

He smiled. "Maybe I just want to get to know you."

He pulled down her pants slightly to kiss her hipbone. He ran his long fingers along her ribs. "I trick Muggles out of their money fer fortunes," she said.

"Often real fortunes," he said. "That's not tricking."

"Then that's ambition," she said, "or cunning, using what yeh got and all that."

"Go on," he said, kissing the valley between her breasts.

"Oh Merlin, this feels like a quiz," she said, lifting the back of his shirt. "Feck it, ask the Sorting Hat."

"No, no," he said, sitting up to pull down his shirt. "Go on. I want to know."

She tried pulling his shirt over his head again, "I'm patient because I like seeing how things play out. I want teh know when ter act and when teh wait. That's cunning, isn't it?"

He tried pulling his shirt down again, but she kept wrestling it off. And she fell back, finally managing to get the shirt off of him. She instantly felt sick that she did. He still wore a beater, but the thin straps couldn't hide the purple bruise arching across his shoulder blade. He ripped his shirt out of her hands, snarling, "Well I guess you're in Slytherin because you're a meddling bitch."

She took the shirt back before he could toss if back on. "That's not fair," she replied. "I just wanted teh snog a bit because someone's such a prude at school. I didn't realize I'd see somethin' yeh've been hiding from me. What is it?"

He didn't reply, but he didn't take the shirt back from her either. She folded her arms across her chest. He leaned against the wall, sitting cross-legged on the bed. Sighing, Mona left to her bathroom, taking his shirt with her.

Severus stared blankly at the floor. It was as if his brain had stopped functioning. He thought about when he left his house this year, about how his father screamed that he was a terrible son to leave his mother alone at Christmas. Snape snapped back, telling him Spinner's End never felt like home. His father said something about him being ungrateful and the slugged him. In the hurry to leave, Severus hadn't bothered to heal his bruise.

But he hated how he was like his father. First yelling at Lily and now at Mona. When would he raise a fist instead of raising his voice? He already hit that bronze lurcher, but that was to protect it, right? He couldn't be his father.

"Lay down," Mona said.

He complied, an apology on the tip of his tongue. She then smoothed a cream so cold it burned across his bruise. "Merlin," he cursed.

She smiled. He was certain she could have found a cream that would hurt less. Had she picked it on purpose? When she was finished, she left to wash her hands, and then snuggled up beside him. "I guess yer parents weren't pleased that yeh came here fer Christmas," Mona said.

"They're never pleased with anything," Severus replied.

She tucked her head under his chin, resting her hand on his chest. He could feel every small breath she took. He could feel her eyelashes flutter against him. In that moment, it felt like Mona's head kept his own head connected to the rest of him. He was drifting away and she anchored him. He worried about her. He worried about her devotion and he worried about what would happen to her if she got too close. Lily, he knew, could handle herself. Lily would shout back and punch back.

But maybe Mona was handling it the right way. Calming him down. Making him feel like shit for being an asshole, but still letting him know she was there.

"Mona, I have another question," he said.

Her lips moved against him, "Go ahead."

"Why me?" he asked. "Why did you pick me?"

She could have joked about the other Slytherins being losers, which they were. She could have made a self-deprecating remark about no one else having her, which he didn't doubt. But she didn't.

"Originally I was interested in yeh because yeh were, yeh know, an individual. Yeh hung out with that – Lily as if yeh were cooler than the rest o' us, which yeh were. I guess I admired that," she said.

When she didn't speak for a moment, Snape replied, "You said originally. You've changed your mind?"

"I was gonna drop yeh like lead after yeh left," she said, though Severus was certain she said it more to convince herself. "And then Mam said teh me that I should trust yeh ter do the right thing. I was pissed fer a while because I thought she meant that doin' the right thing was leaving me, but when I really thought about it, I thought it'd be nice teh be with someone that I could trust to do the right thing."

Severus didn't reply, thinking about what her mother had said.

"I've been with losers before, Sev," she said. "Yeh may think yer one o' them, but yer not."

"I wish I could trust myself as much as you trust me," he said.

Smirking she replied, "It comes with the sight, Sev."

Severus thought about it for a moment, rubbing her arm with his hand. He felt her grow heavier against him, her breathing becoming more regular. She was falling asleep. He believed her. He thought her house was a web of support to her, but maybe it wasn't like that. Her family was Death Eaters, and maybe their loyalty was to Voldemort before their family. She did say her father left, and he took a few of her brothers with him. It wasn't impossible that her relationship with her family wasn't as deep as he thought it was.

But did Mona interpret her mother to mean that she should always trust Severus to do the right thing? Or was it that he was going to do the right thing once? And how would he know what the right thing was and when it would happen? Was he going to do nothing but wrong things before it?

Mona stirred curling herself tighter against him.

"Mona," he whispered.

She didn't stir.

"Mona," he said, louder.

Nothing.

"Merlin, you sleep like a log."

Still nothing.

And sleep didn't come as easy to Snape. He kept trying to decide if he should get up to talk to her mother, but what else would her mother say? Even if she could tell him exact dates and times, she probably wouldn't.

But he did eventually sleep. And as the days easily slipped by at the trailer, it became easier. Mona was always the first to fall asleep and the last to rise. She slept heavy and easily. When Snape woke up, they usually slept with their backs together. He had never been a deep sleeper, and he couldn't really figure out why it was so easy for Mona to just drop off.

The routine at the trailer was familiar for Snape. Generally, they'd all part ways in the morning and head to town. He'd read while Mona told fortunes and sold useless items. In the late afternoon, they'd grab coffee to warm up. They'd talk, and he'd watch Mona's features and mannerism, finding them more charming each time. In the evening she'd read the book Lily gave him, sprawled out on the bed. Sometimes he'd run his fingers against her smooth back, and sometimes he'd just leave her alone. She felt tense sometimes, but she never talked about it.

Andshe didn't bring up Voldemort. At least, she didn't right away. Voldemort hadn't asked about Snape, but Mona could see His eyes quickly scan near her to see if he was around. And Mona didn't know if that summer Snape rejected Voldermort or if he just rejected her. She didn't know how to bring it up, so she didn't. Not until she had to, anyway.

"Can we stop here for a sec?" Mona asked.

They were in Diagon Alley outside of Twilfitt and Tatting's. "Sure," Severus said.

They stepped in. Mona began looking through the clothes, waving away the shopkeeper. "I want somethin' on sale," she whispered to Severus.

"What are we looking for?" he asked, skimming through the clothes and glancing at the price tags. It was a grim reminder of the money he owed Lucius for the necklace.

Mona cleared her throat. "A dress," she said.

"For what?"

"Christmas party," she said.

She didn't continue. She pulled out a dress, pulled out the price tag, and made a face.

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked.

"Yer invited," Mona said.

Snape smiled and slid his hand into Mona's. Mona was easy to get information out of if you knew what buttons to press. "What else?"

She smiled back.

She loved PDA. She wanted everyone to know that he was hers, or that she was. Fuck it, he didn't know why she loved it, but she did. He didn't, but he used it whenever he needed to.

"It's the Black Christmas party," she said. "So He might be there."

"Lucius," Snape asked, absently.

"No, no," Mona replied, pulling out one of the dresses. "Well yes, he'll be there too." She lowered her voice, saying, "But I meant our Dark Lord. Or my Dark Lord. Whatever."

She pressed the dress up against herself. It was long, high-cut, elegant, and pale blue. Pretty much the exact opposite of what Narcissa picked out for her.

Mona continued, "I didn't know if that would make yeh uncomfortable. So yeh don't have ter come if yeh don't want teh."

It would make him uncomfortable. It would make him very uncomfortable. "No I'll go," he said. "I'll never hear the end of it if you go without me. I like that one."

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to try it on?" The salesclerk. Of course she wouldn't fuck off and leave them alone.

Severus watched as Mona tried on the dress. He said that he approved, which he did. Once Mona said she was going to get it (with Severus agreeing that he liked it), the salesclerk adjusted the stitching to make it fit Mona's (flat) form. She ran her wand down the seams of Mona's dress, with Mona looking uncomfortable. Severus offered her a smile to keep her comfortable.

As they left, Mona playfully swung the bag at her side. He liked that she was happy. "So yeh do or do not want ter talk about the Dark Lord?" she asked.

"Do not," he replied.

They didn't talk about it again until that night. Mona was hanging up the new dress in her underwear. She had gotten used to snogging a bit with Severus before bed. They never went any farther, Severus usually stopped her before, so she gave up. But it didn't stop her from walking around in her underwear. Severus had no complaint, of course.

Severus laid reading on the bed, watching her in his peripheral vision. He read the same line about three times and he was about to give up. Mona saved him the trouble of giving up by curling up beside him. She kissed him, pressing her body up against his. Laughing, he rolled her on top of him, sliding his hands down the back of her underwear to squeeze her ass. She kissed under his chin, sliding her fingers into his hair. He loved it when her hands ran through his hair.

"Hey, I've got to ask you something," he said.

"Merlin," she said. "Sev, yeh always get serious when we do this."

"It's because you make me think about my future," he said.

"Do yeh mean with me o' without me?" she asked.

"With you," he replied.

She smiled and kissed him again. She didn't know if it was the truth, but it felt good hearing him say it. "Then ask me," she said. "So we can get back to it."

"Why do you follow Him?" he asked.

"We've had this conversation before," she said, rolling her eyes. "Do yeh want ter ask me why yeh should follow Him?"

"I guess," he said.

"Do yeh like how things are now?"

"With you, you mean?"

"No," she said. "I mean, in the system."

"I don't know," he replied, worried that she didn't want to know how he felt when he was with her. It meant she was serious, it meant she was thinking more about Voldemort than about him.

"Well, with Voldemort, yeh'll be there ter change things," she said. Her eyes lit up, thinking quickly. "What're yeh going ter do after school?"

"I don't know," he said. "Work or something."

"Work where?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"Yeah, exactly," she said. "He'll get yeh a job, just wait."

"A job killing muggle-borns?" he asked.

"Nope," she said. "An honest-to-Merlin job. He hooked Michael up with one."

"Yeah, and then what?" Severus asked, folding his arms across her back. Mona was getting heavy on top of him.

"He does His thing and yeh get teh be there fer it," she said.

"You're getting a bit heavy," he admitted.

"Like conversation-wise?" she asked.

"No, like on top of me," he said.

She moved to curl up beside him, twining her legs in with his. She rested her head against his chest. As much as Severus just wanted to sit with her, he asked, "What's His thing?"

"Rumour among the Death Eaters is that Voldemort plans ter act soon," she said.

"I thought you didn't want war."

"I don't," she said, "but maybe things need to be changed."

"So you're saying it might be necessary," he said.

"This is where I can change things," she said, her hand clammy against his chest. "This is where I matter. I'm going ter be nothing without Him."

"So I'll be something with Him?" Severus said.

"Yeh'll change things," Mona said. "Hell, yeh could be able ter talk him outta the muggle-born thing."

He only nodded. There were a lot of things he agreed with, if he could undermine some of the extremities, he could create a perfect wizarding society. He kissed her forehead. She tilted her head upwards so she could bite his bottom lip lightly. He pulled her upwards to kiss her lips, to feel her tongue slide into his mouth.

He felt her body grind up against his, her hands behind his ears to kiss him deeply. He pulled away, outlining her face with his long fingers. Her eyes scanned him. He watched as her smile faded as her blue eyes clouded over. Her eyelids began to flicker closed. "Do you still doubt Him?" Severus asked.

"What?" she asked, dosing off.

"Lord Voldemort," Severus asked. "Before you didn't follow him blindly. You had doubts about some of the things he wanted done. Do you still have those doubts?"

"No," she said, curling tighter up against him, closing her eyes. "I'll be able to change anything I don't like, and anything you don't like."

"Really?" he asked.

"I'm the seer, remember?" she said. "Yeh don't touch the mudbloods, it'll feck up yer plans."

He smiled. She knew exactly what he didn't like. He didn't give a fuck about the muggles. They were all exactly like his father – closed-minded and afraid of anything more powerful than them. Lily's sister, Petunia, was exactly like that. But Lily, she had to be safe. People like her had to be safe. If he could just fix that one little rule, he could save her – he could save them all – from what Voldemort wanted to happen. He could make everything okay. He could make everything more than okay. And Mona would help he do it.

"Mona," he said.

She mumbled something in reply.

She wasn't awake. He wrapped his arm around her, folding the other underneath his pillow.

Everything would be perfect.