Rachel knew that, to everyone around her, she seemed to have it completely together. After all, with a natural talent like hers, it was hard to imagine otherwise, but there were days she seriously wondered what she was doing with her life. Was she just letting her high school years pass her by?
She told herself that every Broadway Diva needed to suffer at the hands of mediocre high school classmates who didn't get it – it made her deep and edgy, or something – but sometimes it was a little too much to handle. And usually on those days, Rachel would sit at McDonalds – yes, she knew it was totally bad for her pores to be so close to so much grease and good skin was essential in her line of work as makeup only covered up so much – and eat an Oreo McFlurry, calories be damned, while contemplating what normal felt like.
She couldn't deny that there were times she wished she wasn't so gifted, times she wished it was easier for her to say the right thing and make friends easily. Sometimes she wanted the fairy tale high school experience that she saw on television. But she only knew how to be who she was...and she was never going to be the popular girl.
Sometimes she felt lonely, even in glee club, surrounded by her peers (sort of anyway). Her dads would try to cheer her up, tell her how high school was full of idiots and one day she'd find her niche, and all that jazz, but the thing of it was, Rachel was beginning to think that glee club was as close to a niche as she was ever going to find. And the only one who seemed to even like her was Finn, which was another problem all together.
Stupid Finn. She was totally over him. Really.
"This is sad, even for you."
Rachel looked up from her McFlurry and wished she was the type of person who could fling her ice cream in someone's face. Because if anyone deserved it, it was Puck. Alas, she really wasn't that dramatic (yet) and it was perfectly good ice cream that she had no intention of wasting.
Puck didn't even wait for her to politely offer to let him sit down. He just slid into the booth across from her, picked up her McFlurry, and shoved a bite into his mouth. As though that wasn't bad enough, he wiped the remnants off his face with his hand.
"What do you want?" Rachel asked.
"Aren't milk products supposed to be bad for singers?"
Rachel eyed him suspiciously before replying, "That's true, which is why I try to maintain a strict diet regiment like Celine Dion, avoiding all dairy and caffeine products."
"But not today?"
Rachel grabbed the McFlurry out of Puck's hand, trying to ignore the slight whoosh in her stomach as her hand grazed his, and said, "There's still a lot of time before Regionals and I was in the mood to indulge myself."
Puck stared at her in this way he had. It was like he could see through every wall she had built up over time and see her. The same guy who used to throw slushies in her face and torment her...how was that fair? Why couldn't Finn look at her like that?
"I don't expect you to understand," Rachel stated, taking a bite of her ice cream.
"I get it. Some days just suck balls, man."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "That's a crude way to put it."
Puck laughed. "Isn't that why you like me?"
She rolled her eyes again. "I don't like you. However, if I did like you, it wouldn't be because you were some idiot boy who thought he had to impress everyone with testosterone-driven lunacy. It would be because sometimes you were sweet and funny and full of vocal potential." She met his smile with one of her own and blushed. God, hadn't they gone down this road a couple months ago? Why was she always stuck in these situations with Quinn's leftovers? She shook her head and added, "Not that I like you."
"I can't figure you out, Rachel."
"Excuse me?"
"Even worse is that I can't figure out why it bugs me so much that I can't figure you out. Most girls, it's really easy – say a few nice things, laugh at their stupid jokes - but it's never been like that with you."
"I'm not sure what to say."
"Finn is a loser."
"He's your best friend."
"Whatever. Doesn't make him any less of a loser. And you shouldn't be sitting here, wallowing in the back corner of a McDonalds, because he can't see how cool you are."
Rachel tightened her hands into small fists on the table, more to keep from reaching out to touch Puck. She was not that girl. "I'm focused on my career. That's what matters."
"Right."
"I mean, Vocal Adrenaline is going to be really tough competition and it's going to require dedication to beat them."
"I get it. One track mind," Puck said. He stared at her for a moment, freaking her out a bit, and then asked, "Don't you ever get lonely?"
"Yes," she replied, annoyed with her honesty. The stupid question caught her off guard. She stirred the ice cream in front of her, refusing to meet Puck's gaze, and said, "But it'll be worth it in the end. So don't worry about me. I'm totally over Finn."
"What about me?"
"What?"
"Are you over me? Because sometimes I can't stop thinking about kissing you."
"Stop it. You're having a baby with Quinn."
"That didn't stop you from throwing yourself at Finn."
"Maybe I've learned my lesson."
"Whatever. I think there are times you think about kissing me too."
"Arrogant and an idiot."
"And you hate that you like me," Puck replied. He reached out and took her hand. He said, "It took me a bit by surprise too. I didn't expect to have some Can't Buy Me Love moment with the freakshow of our class."
Rachel pulled away from him and stood up. She shook her head and said, "You're right. I do hate that I like you. Because you're a jerk and, true, I get that every great starlet has to go through some bad boy phase, but you're not a bad boy, you're just a loser who tries to make everyone else feel bad so he doesn't seem like so much of a loser."
Rachel immediately regretted the words. She had a huge tendency of saying the wrong things and it almost looked like Puck was going to cry or something and that would be the weirdest thing ever. If this were a play, she would know what to do. That was part of why she loved theater – aside from the fact that she was born for it. There was a script and blocking and no one was supposed to veer off script. Her and Puck? Definitely off script.
But this wasn't the stage. This was real life, her and Puck, and she had no idea what she was doing. And she really didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him cry. She actually cared about him, even when he was mean to her...so much for avoiding the bad boy phase with him. "I'm sorry, Noah."
He stood up, pressed right against her and lowered his head so that she could feel his breath on her face. He said, "You're sorta right, I guess. I can be a complete ass and I never say things the right way."
"Definitely not."
"I do like you, Rachel. You're pretty, funny, and talented, and it's too bad you're hung up on a guy who doesn't see that, even if you can be a nutjob."
Rachel stood on her tip toes and kissed him quickly. She said, "You're not so bad yourself, Noah, even if you can be a Neanderthal."
He nodded and kissed her again. And Rachel totally knew this didn't mean happily ever after or anything, but she was going to enjoy the moment.