A/N: Yes, I can see you looking at me as if I have gone absolutely insane. Which I probably have, but never mind. Five Times is my new (sort of) oneshot collection. All of them will follow the same pattern however: five things that that happened to a particular character. This started as a meme on LiveJournal, where the statement was: Ask me for five things about a particular character, and I will respond with a list or ficlet. So naturally, I have to write because lists are boring to me and I always want to know more than just the bare bones.

I've called it 'Five Times' because most of the prompts have started with 'Five times....'.

Feel free to give me more, too. Because I am ever so slightly mad and of course my overfed plot bunnies are rather greedy...

And a quick thanks to WildDaisies10 for checking over this first one for me, especially because I'm half asleep and it becomes hard to judge whether or not something is any good in this state.

x tromana

Title: Shed a Tear
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Jane/Lisbon
Summary: …or five times Teresa Lisbon has cried
Disclaimer: Not mine
Spoilers: 2x08 His Red Right Hand
Warnings: character death.
Notes: Prompt from boutondor

Shed a Tear

i

She was only twelve when her Mom died.

Anybody would cry if that happened to them, so it was understandable, forgivable.

She can clearly recall the moment she was told that her mother had passed away. A young Teresa Lisbon had been sitting in a hospital bed, covered in cuts and bruises, with a broken arm and mild concussion. Doctors and nurses had constantly told her just how lucky she had been to survive the crash and how brave she was for not even shedding a single tear. But the moment her Daddy had come into the room and informed her that Mommy had gone to heaven to be with the angels, she bawled her eyes out.

It was only when it came around to the funeral two weeks later that she realized the futility of her tears. Crying wasn't exactly going to bring her Mom back, nor was it going to stop her arm from hurting or get rid of the bruises. It didn't make her feel better either. If anything, it made her feel significantly worse because she was focusing on being sad. From that moment on, she vowed that she wouldn't cry unless there was a justifiable reason, though she couldn't really think of any occasion where weeping would actually help a situation.

When her Dad joined her mother six feet under, she kept her promise to herself. If anything, she also felt a blessed relief at the fact that she was never going to feel the slap of a belt against her legs anymore and that her brothers no longer had to cower at the sight of his fists. Her brothers all wondered how she could seem so cold, because regardless of the man he'd turned into, he was still their father. She was upset though, of course she was, she just didn't have the energy to cry and still didn't really see the point in it.

Now, she allows herself to cry on very rare occasions, but generally, she is very good at keeping that silly childhood promise.

ii

There were just a few things that she wanted for herself.

Financial security was one of them, especially after her turbulent childhood. Excelling at her job was another.

But the reason why she wanted to do her job well was partially because she wanted to ensure she always found the answers for those who needed it. They never caught the bastard who caused the car crash that stole her mother and had caused her the occasional problem with her right arm. She had near enough accepted the hand that life dealt her, but it was the idea that someone was never brought to justice for causing the death of an innocent that still hurt.

When she received a telephone call from Virgil Minelli, announcing that her application was successful and that he expected her to report to him on the first of the next month to start at the CBI, she couldn't help but start crying. Not through sadness, but through sheer joy. The tear just slid out from under her eyelid and as she bid the director farewell, she quickly brushed it away. It was silly, really, because she always associated crying with being sad and here she was, allowing getting weepy over something she had been so desperate to achieve.

She couldn't help it though, she was just thrilled that she was moving on with her career. Though she would be sad to leave the SFPD and especially Sam Bosco, joining the CBI was going to open up so many more avenues for her. She knew that she'd finally have the chance to tackle the most complex crimes that California could throw at her and therefore solve the crimes for those that deserved answers the most.

iii

It came as something of a surprise when Virgil Minelli told her he was retiring. He'd said it was partially because he was tired and because losing four good agents in one week had hit him hard.

But it had hit them all hard, not just Minelli.

Bosco had meant a lot to her and she wasn't ashamed to admit it. He had honed her from the start and made her develop from an inexperienced rookie to a confident agent. She appreciated the hard work that the rest of Bosco's team had done too and now they had all been mercilessly slaughtered on the whim of a serial killer. It was going to take a lot for the CBI to pull itself out of that rut and without Minelli at the helm…

Still, they would get over it. Eventually. They had to.

A couple of months after he resigned, she headed around to his modest townhouse. Most people would think it strange that someone would want to see their ex-boss, but Lisbon hadn't exactly lived a normal life to date. Besides, they'd kept in relatively regular contact and of late, something in his messages had seemed a little off beat, a little wrong and she needed to find out exactly what it was. She knew he would find it a little more difficult to evade the question if she was sitting right in front of him.

The man was looking more haggard and had lost some weight since the last time she'd seen him. The fine grey hair that made him look distinguished beforehand was thinner too and it didn't take her long to make the connection. Minelli hadn't resigned because he'd lost a team, previously he would have stood in defiance against Red John, he wouldn't have let the serial killer beat him or the CBI. Instead, he'd taken the opportunity to allow it to cover the real reason he had left. Especially when he confirmed five minutes later that not only was it cancer, but it was terminal.

Lisbon held his hand, smiled slightly and promised that she would stand by her mentor and friend until the very end. He'd gazed back at her, wearing an expression somewhere between appreciation and bemusement, but he knew that whatever he said, he wouldn't be able to sway her decision. Teresa Lisbon was more determined than most, after all and besides, he knew it would be nice to have somebody to stand beside him during what would probably be the most terrifying time of his life.

She didn't cry until she got home. While nursing a cup of cocoa, she allowed herself to weep for the second father figure she was on the verge of losing. It may have been somewhat pointless and she knew that better than most, but it got it out of her system, at least.

iv

Sometimes, she had briefly entertained the thought that Red John was invincible. Realistically, she knew that wasn't really plausible as he was a man and he carried the same frailties as every other human being. Anything could have killed him, just like anybody else. A car crash, cancer, substance abuse… anything. Everybody died sooner or later, after all.

It didn't surprise her much that it was a bullet that took his life away.

What did surprise her was that it was a teenage girl who shot him, in self defense. She was meant to be victim number twenty two, but he never expected her to pull the firearm on him and blindly pull the trigger, hoping and praying that at least one would find its target. Of course that complicated matters somewhat, for the young girl had to prove that she had been trying to save her own life rather than having been a merciless killer much the way Red John was himself.

But still. The Red John case was actually closed. Not the way that any of them had imagined it, but still, it was over. She finally had the answers she had been craving for so many mourning relatives. Justice had been served for Bosco and his team, for Jane's family and so many other innocent people. Though it would never bring their loved ones back, it would hopefully offer them all a little comfort. Lisbon took the opportunity to glance at Jane and she couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. He certainly didn't look like it was helping him, but he was able to deceive anyone easily. Maybe time would tell…

But when she finally had a few quiet minutes in her office, alone, the tears just flowed. It wasn't for Jane, for Bosco or any of the other people who had suffered due to Red John's blade though. She wasn't quite sure why it was, but she knew that a lot of it was simply out of sheer relief.

v

Patrick Jane once told her, quite bluntly, that he would never even consider dating her, never mind anything more.

She'd been a little annoyed and more than a little humiliated on that occasion, but she certainly didn't cry. One of the few lessons she remembered her Mom teaching her was that it certainly wasn't worth crying over any man. When he'd informed her just where he thought they stood just after she'd stupidly propositioned him, she'd thrown herself straight back into her job and pretended that nothing had ever happened between them.

She couldn't help but gape on the day he completely backtracked just six months after Red John's demise and invited her to the theater. Nor when he kept surprising her with little excursions to the beach, to the movies, to the zoo. Never the same place twice and always somewhere that would entertain the both of them one way or another. It was nice, sharing her life with somebody else and finally seeing him move on with his life. Even if it had been with somebody else, she would have been pleased for him, in that tight, jealous sort of way, but she hadn't needed to consider that scenario.

Even though it was her he had been wining and dining and spending every free moment with, she couldn't help but doubt herself until the day he proposed. She didn't cry, despite the overwhelming sense of relief that finally something in her personal life was actually going right. It had been a pretty close call, however.

Lisbon had promised she wouldn't cry the day when she walked down the aisle either. She'd always imagined that she would manage to remain cool and composed, much as she was with every other aspect of her life. However, hearing Jane say 'I love you' for the very first time in front of all their family and friends was enough to break down those barriers and caused the tears to cascade down her face more than they had done so in years.

end