Disclaimer : I don't own Mario Brothers

It was a widely known fact that Princess Peach ruled over the Mushroom Kingdom. After his parents had been eaten by an angry mob of goombas, he had inherited the royal palace and all of the surrounding lands. Though he has grown both as a leader and person, his journey has not been easy.

When he first took over the throne, he had been teased by the royal families of the neighboring kingdoms, such as the Flower-Power Kingdom, ruled over by the cross-dressing "Princess" Daisy. Though that particular kingdom looked as if it were designed by the youth of the 1960s, and its ruler wore the entire spectrum of bright colors for dresses, "Princess" Daisy still harassed Princess Peach about his name.

For some unworldly reason, his parents had found it necessary to name him Princess Peach, instead of Prince Peach. It was even engraved on his birth certificate; Princess Peach would one day rule Mushroom Kingdom. It was rather ironic; truthfully, when foreigners would hear his name, they would automatically assume the image of a dainty blonde in pretty pink hues, being followed by many suitors, all infatuated with her beauty.

However, on the contrary, Princess Peach looked nothing like the clichéd princess image. He did have blonde hair, though its dirty shade hung in messy straggles against his neck; occasionally he'd pull it up into a loose pony-tail, though usually it simply hung lifelessly against his cheeks. His broad shoulders accented the pink on his black suit. The suit had been given as gift to him by "Princess" Daisy after one of their midnight rendezvous. Regardless, his intimidating build made him appear hulking and dangerous, like a cage fighter. His voice −a deep, gruff, raspy pedophile-ish rattle− scared most of the people who heard it uttered from his unpredictable lips. There was no way to avoid it: Princess Peach was one scary man.

The only person who never appeared to be frightened by Princess Peach's appearance and demeanor was "Princess" Daisy, his transvestite lover from the neighboring Flower-Power Kingdom. Though they always took special care to show nothing more than a platonic friendship in public, when they held their private meetings, a much deeper relationship than "just friends" ensued. It had taken awhile for Princess Peach to discover that his lovely Daisy wasn't a true woman, which suited him just fine; in fact, he liked it that way, not that he would ever admit it to the rest of Mushroom Kingdom. It seemed like a perfect match, two men who both appeared to be women to outsiders who knew nothing about them.

Therefore, since ascending the throne, Princess Peach has managed to gain a little more confidence in himself, both as a ruler, and as a man. He set himself about common royal tasks such as ordering about his army of koopas, dealing with the peasants' complaints about being fat plumbers, and so forth. It was a rather tedious job, and to be honest, he resented his parents just a bit for getting themselves eaten by that goomba mob and sticking him with this stupid responsibility.

One particular summer afternoon, Princess Peach found himself bored around his palace, tired of the dreary dullness that seemed to engulf him. Feeling like he could use some cheering up, he dialed Daisy's number. "Hello?" a voice answered on the opposite end of the receiver. Suspicion instantly seized Princess Peach. He did not recognize the voice that had answered the line; if he had called the main line, it would have made since for a random servant to answer, but he had called "Princess" Daisy's personal cell phone; he always personally answered when he called. This time, however, a strange man's voice was answering Daisy's phone instead. Something was up. "Hello?" the voice asked again, "Who is this?"

"Princess Peach," he grunted.

"Pete?"

"No! Peach! Princess Peach!" he roared, his gruff voice coming out in harsh irritation.

"I'm sorry, who? I don't know what you're saying," the mysterious voice continued.

"Princess Peach!" he shouted, his deep rasp coming off more menacingly than he had originally intended; however, this guy was really starting to make him angry. "The ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom! "Peach! Not Pete!"

"Pete?"

Princess Peach roared in frustration; this man was seriously pissing him off. "Give the phone to "Princess" Daisy!" he bellowed into the receiver.

"He's um… a little busy at the moment; can I take a message?"

Scowling, Princess Peach growled into the phone, "Tell him Princess Peach wanted to talk to him."

The mysterious voice complied, "Okay, I'll let him know Pete was looking for him, good bye." Seconds later, the line disconnected and left Peach alone staring in appalled silence at the phone receiver.

"Dirtbag," he spat loathsomely. Slamming the phone down on a coffee table, he stomped out of the room, retreating to his throne room to mope in isolation. After making his way to the secluded room, he collapsed into his throne chair, suddenly exhausted; being angry was a tiring task.

The silence helped to soothe him slightly; however, mere minutes after beginning to relax, a knock came from the door on the other side of the room. Timidly, the door inched open, allowing just enough room for the head to poke itself in. "Your Majesty?" Toad asked, his pansy voice barely making its way to Princess Peach's ears. "Your Majesty, forgive my intrusion, but a matter of great importance has just come up."

With an eye roll and an angry sigh, he waved his attendant in, "Come in, Toad." The mushroom man scurried up to the throne, bowing his head in honor.

"Your Majesty, we've gotten another clue to the location of the magic mushroom!" This caused the Princess's eyes to light up with interest; he urged his attendant onward. "You see, your Highness, one of the koopa scout groups returned with the knowledge that the magic mushroom is located in the deep peaks of Candy Mountain. However, there is a slight problem: It has been rumored that only royalty can enter the cavern that contains the magic mushroom…"

Princess Peach considered this newly acquired information for a moment. "Meaning that I would have to journey to this cavern in the mountains to retrieve the magic mushroom, correct?"

Toad nodded his head nervously, "That would be correct, Sire." He paused for a moment, "You can see, your Highness, why I'm nervous to tell you this information, despite your orders to inform you immediately if new information is uncovered. Our koopa would not be able to protect you in this cavern; who knows what type of evil lurks in its midst? Of course, I believe we'd be able to escort you to its entrance, but we would not be able to follow further…"

After a few more seconds of consideration−both about his excitement and need to locate the magic mushroom, as well as his current anger towards "Princess" Daisy− he waved off Toad. "Enough, I will make this journey; prepare a unit; we'll leave tomorrow at ten." With this, Princess Peach rose from his throne and left the room, leaving Toad to scurry about the room and make his own preparations.

As Princess Peach walked the halls towards his room, his mind wandered. Yes… this journey was exactly what he needed; he would be able to locate and retrieve the magic mushroom and be able to forget his anger towards a certain neighboring ruler. Yes… this trip was going to fix everything.

A/N : All right... so I know that this story probably sounds really stupid and such... and to be honest, it probably is. The entire thing is inspired by this inside joke between my friends and I, all based off of a few prank phone calls.. so yeah, bear with me. ^_^ and yes, princess peach and daisy are both men... and in the next chapter, i'm bringing in Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto... who also has a weird fetish. It's about to get crazy all up in here. xD so please review and let me know how crazy and stupid my friends and i are... we'd appriciate it. ^_^ until next time. xoxo