Who loves Spongebob? I DO!

But we can have conversations on SpongeBob's awesomeness later, now I have a fic to write.

Note: I changed a few words so it'd make sense, and those words will be in [brackets].

Takes place during the 3rd Book, probably at night while Ian is feeling humiliated in his bed.

I thought that I had everybody
On my side
But I went and blew it
All sky high
And now she won't even spare
A passing glance
All just because I
*RIP!*
Ripped my pants!

Sigh... why didn't I listen to Amy? Honestly, she would have thought so much better than me. Now she probably believes I am a fool.... heck, I probably AM a fool...

But that can't be. I am a Kabra. Kabras never fail. I just wish Amy and I could have got off on the right foot...

Bah, what do I care about Amy? She is a poor peasant. She and her brother are the scum of the Earth, scraped off of the side of the filthiest McDonald's bathroom stall in America...

When [that Buffy] came 'round
Just to [chow] him down
[Kabra] turned
Into a clown
And no girl ever
Wants to dance
With a fool who went and
*RIP!*
Ripped his pants

Not that I'd want to dance with her. I must remember the scum...

Oh, but WHY did I have to rip my darned pants?! And how come I chose to wear those pair of undergarments? I am such a dolt.

I know I shouldn't mope around
I shouldn't curse
But the pain feels
So much worse
And winding up with no one
Is a lot less fun
Than a burn from the sun
Or sand in your buns!

I'd say that sand in your "buns" sounds pretty horrid... not that I'd know. As a child I was not allowed to go to the beach unless it was privately owned. To linger among all the poor people at a public beach would most definitely be a health hazard, they probably carry the plague.

Now I learned a lesson
I won't soon forget
So listen and
You won't regret
Be true to yourself
Don't miss your chance
And you won't end up
Like the fool who
Ripped his
Pants!
*RIP!*

You can say that again.

Yeah, it was really bad. Well, most of my stories are. (Remember not to vote for me in storyteller221's contest!) That's why they make Groucho Marx glasses. (I've been obsessed with them, bacon, and the mafia lately, have you noticed?) Anyway, review and all that jazz.

Off-subject: DID YOU KNOW THAT THEY MAKE BACON PIZZA?!?!?! I had some last night! But unfortunately for me, last night was Friday, and I wasn't supposed to eat meat... I AM A SINNER!