A/N: This takes place after Carter left. It's mainly a Carter/Serena story, but there will be appearances by other characters

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl.

BECOMING

I - Prologue

When she came through the door, she wasn't quite sure how she had managed to arrive there. Pieces of the conversation were echoing in her head again and again. She knew it, but to have it confirmed only added to the mixture of shock, disbelief and fear that she had been feeling in the last days. She stopped at the door, half of her wanting to go back there and end it; the other half wanting to pick up the phone and make the call.

As it happened, she didn't choose any. Instead she headed to the bathroom. After preparing the water for a soothing bath, Serena disrobed and gazed at her reflection in the floor-length mirror. She lifted her hand to touch the glass of the mirror with her fingers as they traced the outline of her face. She couldn't notice any change. She touched her hair absently and let out a long, ragged sigh. She needed to think straight and ponder her options. The cinnamon-scented candles on the sill at the edge of the tub were lit and all the lights except for the one over the mirror were turned off. Then she climbed into bubbles up to her chin, letting the warm water sooth away her concerns and fears. She dropped her head back against the tub, closed her eyes but again she was transported to a memory that she had unsuccessfully been trying to erase.

It had been little more than two months since she watched him go without looking back. She thought she would be all right; she had a string of failed relationships behind her after all. This would just be another one. She took comfort remembering how many times they had laughed, fought, cried and had always come back together with the strong force of two poles of a magnet. She had hoped this time wouldn't be any different, but the phone call never came.

Ironically it was the sound of her cell phone ringing that cut through her thoughts. Serena stood up, plucking a towel from the towel rack and wrapped it around her body. When she reached over for her cell, it went silent. A missed call from her mother; she would call her later. Instinct, longing, need, she wouldn't analyze it, made her scroll through her contact list and for a moment she stopped at the name on the screen.

With her heart heavy, she dialled the number she had wanted so badly to see on her screen. It was close to the fourth ring before a grumpy voice answered on the other side.

"Hello."

"Hi, it's me. Please, don't hang up; I need to talk to you." She cut straight to the point; she couldn't let herself drag into pointless chat or give him enough time to think.

To say Carter was shocked to hear Serena's voice on the other end of the phone would be the understatement of the year. He hadn't answered any of her calls after their last encounter. Why didn't he look at the screen before answering it? It looked like she had given up after a while, so could something have happened? He felt bad for the way he had left New York, but it was for the best. He sat up in bed and turned on his bedside lamp. Its brightness blinded him. It was daytime, but he had been working up until a few hours ago.

"Serena… is everything all right?" concern could be heard in his voice.

"Yes, I'm sorry to bother you, but I really need to talk to you." There's a pause before Carter speaks.

"I don't know what we have to talk about now; I thought I was clear in my reasons of why I had to leave…" his voice sounded a bit harsher than he had intended now that she said nothing had happened, but it would be better that way.

"It has nothing to do with that", Serena interrupted him. "There's something I need to talk to you about. Can you come to New York?"

"I can't leave just like that. I have no plans to fly to New York any time soon."

"But I really need to see you Carter. I need to talk to you."

"We're talking, Serena. Why don't you say what you have to say?" Carter sighed on the other side of the line.

"Look Carter, I wouldn't be calling you if it wasn't important. What I have to tell you is something that can't be said on the phone." Serena was beginning to regret calling him. He obviously didn't want anything to do with her.

"Listen Serena, I really can't in such short notice, let me see what I can do, or why don't you come here then? I can make the arrangements for you. You just have to tell me when you want to come."

"I will. I'll call you to tell you my flight. Bye Carter."

"Bye Serena."

***

Carter was waiting at the airport, ready to pick up Serena. He was in the terminal, nervously looking for any signs of her. It would be hard to see her again after having rejected her pleas for him to stay, and he was worried about the reasons why she had to see him. It had to be something important; he didn't believe she would want to see him after the last events. He hoped she wasn't coming to make him change his mind. He knew that would be a hard battle for him to fight, despite his best attempts to avoid her in his mind. When she finally stepped out of the gate, he realized how much he had missed her presence. He had feared that. She was wearing a simple crisp tuxedo shirt paired with jeans, her natural waves bouncing up and down with every step she took. Her light make-up enhanced her cheeks and her eyes; she was glowing.

Serena held her breath when she saw Carter. Yes, she was hurt and angry, but the sight of him had her heart melting. She tried to ignore the feeling, but she didn't succeed. He was standing there with his hands in his pockets, tall and lean, his blue eyes that seemed to see her deep inside locked on hers. For a moment, they both stood there motionless, staring at each other.

"Hey." She whispered in greeting breaking the spell between them.

"Hey."

"Thanks for picking me up."

"It's ok." Carter replied. "Did you have a good trip?"

"Yes, it was fine."

They were silent as they walked to pick up her luggage. The ride home was a quiet one. So lost in her thoughts, Serena barely noticed when they pulled up to the driveway. When she entered the house, she was surprised to see how frugal the decoration was. It was a small apartment with only the necessary; no luxury, no ostentation. As if reading her thoughts, Carter put her luggage down on the floor and said:

"I know this is totally different from what you're used to Serena, but it's enough for me for now..."

"It's okay, don't worry. Can I just freshen up?"

"Sure, second door on the left."

When Serena returned, an awkward silence fell between them as they looked at each other. Carter broke the contact to look around the apartment scratching the back of his head.

"There's only one bed. I'll take your luggage and you'll sleep there. I'll sleep on the couch. Unless you want to stay at a hotel?"

"No, no, I won't stay too long; the couch will be fine; you can stay in your bed."

"I insist. I'm used to sleeping on the couch anyway. I fall asleep there many times", he chuckled.

"Okay, thank you then." She smiled back at him, hiding her hands on the back pockets of her jeans.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to go out and have dinner?"

"Carter, there's a reason why I came. This is not easy for me, but I think the sooner I tell you, the quicker I'll leave you alone."

"Serena, if you're worried about me, don't. I'm doing fine. I told you I ..."

"Carter, I'm pregnant…"