Title: Little Voice in My Ear
Author: WarriorsSlashLove
Rating: T/PG13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Characters/Pairing: AshLion, one-sided unrequited LionJay
Warnings: Slash
Summary: Lionblaze always had a choice. He made the wrong one.
Disclaimer: Any and all characters mentioned in this story are property of Erin Hunter. I am not making any money off this story, and no copyright infringement was intended.

He promised.

He lied.

But he promised! He always keeps his promises!

He lied.

He couldn't have. He loves me. He wouldn't…

He lied.

Maybe… Maybe he just…

He lied.

…

He lied.

He lied.

That traitor doesn't deserve him.

He doesn't deserve the traitor.

He's still my brother.

He doesn't deserve the traitor.

I love him.

He doesn't deserve the traitor.

The traitor loves him…

He doesn't deserve the traitor.

He loves the traitor…

He doesn't deserve the traitor.

…

He doesn't deserve the traitor.

He doesn't deserve the traitor.

Choose. Him or me.

Jayfeather shuddered, trying to throw the voice off. He knew it would betray him, just like Lionblaze.

Choose. Him or me.

It only wanted Jayfeather. It wanted him to succumb to the darkness, the shadowed part of his heart that had been growing ever since Lionblaze had confided in him the feelings he had for Ashfur.

Choose. Him or me.

Another shudder. The voice's power was growing with every day. Soon he would fall. He could only hope that Lionblaze would be spared.

Choose. Him or me.

He still loved Lionblaze, even if he had betrayed him. His golden-furred brother didn't deserve even Ashfur, a traitor, the one who was going to rat them out, give away their secret. He had thought that Lionblaze was loyal to him, and him alone, but he was wrong.

Choose. Him or me.

A third shudder as the voice's power surrounded his mind. A memory rushed at him, from a time not so long ago, the day everything had changed. The day Lionblaze had betrayed him.

"Jayfeather?" Lionblaze's voice calls down into the medicine den. "Are you in here?"

"Yes," Jayfeather calls back. "What is it?"

"I… I need to talk to you." He senses Lionblaze sit down, hears the brush of fur on fur. Jayfeather turns toward where his scent, his thoughts, his breathing, is coming from.

"About the prophecy?" Jayfeather questions.

"No."

"Then what?"

"About… About Ashfur."

"Ashfur?" Jayfeather echoes. "What is there to talk about?"

"I… I think I love him."

Jayfeather's heart nearly stops. Love. He's had a name for the feelings that stir inside him every time he catches Lionblaze's scent, hears his brother say his name. But he knows that their relationship is wrong in more way than one. Jayfeather is a medicine cat. They're toms. They're brothers.

"I doubt it," he chokes out, regaining his composure. "He's a tom, remember, Lionblaze."

"I know." He can hear Lionblaze's anguish. He can tell how it is tearing him apart, though it wouldn't be the first time that his brother had found love outside the warrior code. "I know, but I can't stop it. I spoke to Brambleclaw. The way he talks about Squirrelflight… It's the way I feel about Ashfur, Jayfeather. What do I do?"

Jayfeather swallows. What should he say to Lionblaze? What can he say without giving away his own feelings, which are so much more forbidden than Lionblaze's feelings for Ashfur?

Finally, the answer comes to him.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? How can I do nothing? I'm in love with a tom, Jayfeather! I have to do something!"

"There's nothing you can do," Jayfeather says solemnly. "I'm sure it's just a phase. You'll realize soon enough that you don't really love him."

"But I do! Oh, Jayfeather, whenever he's near me, my heart starts beating quicker, and I always want to be the best for him. I get warm all over, and my stomach squirms whenever he says my name. Jayfeather, I love him. More than anything else in the world."

More than me? Jayfeather wants to ask.

"He's a tom, Lionblaze. I'm sure it's just a phase," Jayfeather repeats.

"Nothing's going to change, Jayfeather," Lionblaze says, his voice and his thoughts full of anguish. "Time will only make me love him more."

"He's a tom." Now, he's not sure if he's trying to convince Lionblaze, or himself.

Choose. Him or me.

The most powerful shudder of all ran through Jayfeather. The voice was closer than ever to taking him over. He knew he had only minutes before it would consume him. Whoever was nearest to him would die.

Choose. Him or me.

Another memory came at him, the worst day of Jayfeather's life, the day the voice made itself known, though its power had been growing for far longer.

The catmint's almost gone. He has only a small supply left. Maybe Kestrelwing will lend him some…

"Okay, Lionblaze, I think we're far enough out into the forest. No one's going to hear us out here. What were you going to tell me?"

Jayfeather freezes. That voice. That scent. Ashfur, out here, deep in the forest, and not alone. With Lionblaze. Something Lionblaze wants to tell him.

Jayfeather wants to cry out with the frustration, the anger.

"Ashfur… We're friends, right?"

Jayfeather can hear the confusion in Ashfur's voice when he speaks. "Of course, Lionblaze. Why wouldn't we be?"

"No… no reason. I just… Ashfur, I think I love you."

Silence for a moment.

"W-what?"

"I love you," he hears Lionblaze repeat.

"B-but… But Lionblaze, we're both toms! We can't—."

"You just said 'We can't.'"

"What? Yeah, I know, Lionblaze, I was standing right here."

"If you're saying 'we can't,' and not 'I won't,' then… Maybe… Maybe you've thought about it before."

Jayfeather feels Ashfur's confusion, his fear, his… love. The anger is so strong that Jayfeather almost cries out in pain.

Traitor.

Jayfeather is stunned into silence. That one voice, coming from somewhere in his head, is all he can hear. He can't even hear Lionblaze and Ashfur.

Who's a traitor? he asks. Not Lionblaze.

Traitor.

He's not a traitor! How could he be a traitor? He doesn't even know I love him!

Traitor.

He… He should know, but he doesn't. But that doesn't matter! I love him anyway!

Traitor.

No…

Traitor.

…

Traitor.

Traitor.

Choose. Him or me.

One final, huge shudder that shook his whole body, and then Jayfeather stood still. More still than he ever had been. His heart wasn't even beating.

Choose. Him or me.

…

Choose. Him or me.

I choose.

Him or me.

You. Always you.

He wasn't Jayfeather anymore. He was now just an empty shell of what had once been a cat.

The Shell pricked his ears. He could hear the sound of cats. He could smell the scent of the two cats who had betrayed him.

The Voice fueled him, pushed him on. Never before had it spoken. Not like this.

Do it. Kill them. They've ruined your life.

Yes. Kill them. It was all their fault.

Do it now.

Now?

Yes. Now. Imagine it: the feeling of their fur between your claws, your teeth in their throats.

Yes. Now. Do it now.

The Shell stood, claws sliding out. He, or maybe it, walked out of the medicine cat den, easily following the scent and sound of the two cats who had betrayed him.

The Voice put images in the Shell's head. The two traitors, lying on the dirt ground of the camp, dead, blood spilling out of their lifeless, cold bodies.

The Shell walked forward, approaching them.

He could feel the smile on the traitor's face. "Hey, Jayfeather."

The other traitor frowned. "Jayfeather, are you okay? You don't look so good."

The Shell dug his claws into the ground. "You have betrayed me enough," he whispered, the voice half Jayfeather's and half the Voice's.

"Jayfeather?" questioned the brother of what once had been a medicine cat.

"Now it is your turn to suffer."

"Jayfeather, what are you talking about?"

"Die!"

The Shell leaped at the two unsuspecting warriors. His claws dug into their fur, and his teeth met in their throats. The blood that seeped into his mouth was more delectable than any fresh-kill that the Shell's body had ever tasted.

More. Kill the other. Do it!

The anger was almost palpable now. Fury and anguish ripped through the Shell, and it leapt at the other one. His teeth met in the other traitor's throat, his claws digging deep gouges in the traitor's stomach.

They were both dead before anyone could stop him.

That's enough for now. No more.

Yes. No more.

Now sleep. You've done a lot of work today.

Yes. A lot of work. Time for sleep.

Good job. Tomorrow, there will be more. No one will stand in your way. You will be the destroyer of anyone who has ever stood in your way.

No one will be safe from your wrath.

No one.