"Elisa's Answering Machine"
BY: Nicky Dee
EMAIL: [email protected]

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AUTHOR NOTES:

Please check out all my other gargoyle fics! You have to, so you can understand all my funny characters! And leave a review for goodness sake! JINKIES! *Nicky Dee looks cross* Oh, and this fic has some mild sexual language and profanity. Deal with it. Enjoy the fic!

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DISCLAIMOR:

Ebony, Egor, Enrique and Rita are MY characters! Don't use them without asking please! The rest of the characters belong to Buena Vista and Disney. I did not make any money so you can't sue me. HA!

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BEEP!

"Hello, this is Elisa Maza. I cannot come to the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep... enlace this is David Xanatos who is calling, who better not leave another one of those corny promotion ads for his stupid company on my machine or I'm going to turn his face into road kill, UNDERSTAND?!"

BEEP!

*Ebony is using her powers to make her voice sound like Goliath's.*

"Ooooh Elisa! I want your frail human body! Uh! It is so luscious, so yummy! You are the love of my life, my darling Elisa! I want to hump your brains out, my Elisa! I love how you taste and how you blow me! AH! You're such a great fuck, my Elisa! I want to kiss and nibble..."

*Sudden loud yelling in the background, a CRASH!, and then the sound of a dialtone.*

BEEP!

"Uh, Elisa. It's Egor. That last message was not Goliath, it was Ebony... uh, sorry!"

BEEP!

"Ms. Maza, it's Mr. Brunnet. The Xanatos's would like to ask if you are permanently moving into the castle since you seem to be spending so much time here with Goliath... in his room. Ms. Xanatos would also like to know whether you prefer dildos or vibrators. It would seem she would like to give you a 'welcome home' gift. Good day."

BEEP!

"Yo Maza! Sup! It's Enrique. Look, I fixed your blender, you know, the one that Egor and Brooklyn broke when they where make those Margaritas three weeks ago. The total charge will only come up to $35 dollars! I'll stop by later to pick up the cash."

BEEP!

"Elisa! Brooklyn! Don't pay Enrique! Broadway just blew up your blender! ... oh, uuuh... Sorry!"

BEEP!

"Erm, lass, tiss Hudson. When are ye plannin' ta bring that video of 'Casablanca' back? Eh? Ye had it fer weeks now!"

BEEP!

"Ugh, hi Elisa. It's Ebony. Goliath is now making me apologize for my rude behavior on the phone. I'm sorry. THERE! I said it! Now tell Goliath to let me out of the fucking rockery! He hasn't let me outa here ever since! I feel like a newborn hatchling!"

*Mutters to herself, then dialtone.*

BEEP!

"Hiya Elisa, it's Angela! Fox wants to start designing your bedroom. When are you coming over? Is it true that your moving in? When! That would be wonderful! And what's up with Father? He seems to be always angry with Ebony for some reason. I asked Brooklyn once and he couldn't stop laughing... Hmms... Weird..."

BEEP!

"Hey there partner! It's Matt! Look, I just stopped by the Castle and Fox mentioned something about Dildos and Vibrators. Care to shed any light on that inquiry? Fox and me have a bet. Later!"

BEEP!

END OF MESSAGES!

BEEP!


Elisa started down at the answering machine, her eyes wide and her ears burning from the incredible, hard to believe, messages that had been left on her machine, a big ball of sweat forming on her forehead. "I wonder what Rita's phone messages are like..." Elisa grumbled to herself.

THE END!

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PS: LEAVE REVIEWS AND READ MY OTHER FICS! I BEG YOU! And if you can send fan art! I wanna open a fan fic site with fan art! THANK YOU!