ANOTHER STORY! IN ONE DAY! Well, it doesn't really count, though because I've had both of these written for a LONG time, I just didn't have this typed up.

It's pretty crack-tacular, if you know what I mean.

Just read it.

Do it.

I DON'T OWN DEATHNOTE. :poking mushrooms in a black-and-white corner: (I don't even own that corner, either)

The Accuser.

"L, could you hand me that document?"

Said detective turns slowly in his swivel chair to face his partner, the pad of his thumb pressed to his lips. His voice comes in monotone. "It's Ryuzaki."

Light blushes in embarrassment. "Of course, sorry."

Matsuda glances up at the pair stationed at the computers on the opposite side of the large room. His fingers eagerly grasp the pencil in order to add yet another tally to his spreadsheet. So far today, Light had called Ryuzaki L six times, shared unnecessary or lingering touches five, Ryuzaki offered his sweets thrice and smiled at him once. Well, that he noticed.

Matsuda grins schemingly to himself. He finally has enough evidence to make an accusation. And now that they were alone…

"You two—" he stands from the couch, extending a finger in their direction, "—are screwing."

The accused look up at him, Light in shock, and Ryuzaki…well, sheltered, as always.

"Matsuda," Light spoke, forcing himself not to stammer, "why on earth would you even think of that, let alone flat-out accuse us?"

"Light, there's no point in hiding it from me." Matsuda grins, "It's obvious. I'm not an idio—"

"Actually, Matsuda, you are an idiot, hence why you are often referred to as one." He stands from the chair to face the accuser, shoving his hands in his pockets. "And by claiming to know something as utterly bizarre and disturbing as Light and I involved in a sexual relationship, only adds to the appropriateness of that label."

To say Matsuda is speechless, would be an understatement. He had expected the two boys to get on their knees (no pun intended) and beg him not to tell anyone, and drop in a few juicy details. No, dumbfounded was a more appropriate word.

"And besides," Ryuzaki continues, "Light is Kira—"

"Oh, come on! When are you going to give that up? You know I am not Kira!" an annoyed Light interjects.

The raven-haired ignores his outburst. "It would be rather impractical to sleep with the man who wants me dead."

Light's irritation grows to anger, his blood concentrating on his face. Maybe this was a bad idea, Matsuda decides.

"Ryuzaki, I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth and masturbating was outlawed!"

Ryuzaki suppresses a giggle. "Is Light admitting to the fact that he sleeps with men? How interesting. What would Misa say if she found out?"

His anger-flushed face brightens color in embarrassment. "Shut up! You know that's not what I meant!"

Ryuzaki smirks before noticing a silent Matuda, slowly walking backwards towards the door. He stops when he sees he's been caught.

"I-I…uh…I…I just remembered that I have a d-doctor's appointment!" he stammers before bolting from the room.

The two remaining detectives share a knowing glance, grins growing on their cheeks. Matsuda had a doctor's appointment last week.

A moment passes before either of them speak.

Ryuzaki silently takes the three steps that separate him and Light.

"That was perfect, Light," he purrs, stroking his cheek with the pads of his pale fingers.

"You were brilliant, L," the brunette responds, and their anxious lips connect.

Light's hands find L's hips as his latch onto the back of the chair. He steps forward, pushing the chair until it hits a wall, and he climbs on top of the boy.

As the passion increases, they fail to notice the blinking red light positioned on Matsuda's desk.

Reviews? Yes, please :D

TRUFFLES FOR WHOEVER PRESSES THAT BUTTON!

Much love,

QuinaLee