DISCLAIMER: The characters of InuYasha are not mine. They are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

A/N: Just a bit of fun influenced by a certain person I know and respect. This is will be a short, short chapter fic, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Poodle Allergies

Kagome had never known that bringing a dog back through the well with her would cause such a commotion!

And she hadn't actually meant to bring the damn thing…

The poodle had just slipped into her bag, going after the doggy treats her mom had packed for Inuyasha, and Kagome hadn't noticed the difference in weight. Was it her fault that Inuyasha and her school life demanded so much from her that she couldn't tell the bag was ten pounds heavier than it normally was? No! Not at all!

Upon discovery of the dog on the other side of the well, Kagome had wanted to turn around and take it right the hell back, but Inuyasha had grumbled and complained about wasted time. And so, Kagome had given in and just carried the little beast of burden, letting Sango love on it when she was tired of carrying the pest. Souta's ears would be in for a world of hurt when she returned and politely instructed him to better look after his damn dog. She had enough of the flea bags to deal with as it were! She didn't need additional pooch care.

Think of a fleabag and one more appears, Kagome thought to herself as the all-too-familiar presence of Sesshoumaru, self-proclaimed Lord of the Western Lands, strutted out into view ahead of them on the trail they currently traveled down. While the Western Lord's demeanor had changed slightly in the last few months, Kagome did not trust the old dog even a little bit, more closely following Inuyasha's feelings towards him than she let on. After all, it wouldn't do for her current image if she let everyone know what she actually thought of the white haired demon.

While he was sex on two legs (and sometimes sex on four legs, if she wanted to be entirely honest with herself—after all, she did apparently have a dog fetish buried deep within), the daiyoukai was entirely too stuck-up and self-concerned to be even more than passively appealing. One had only to speak with him to see what he was really like and Kagome found herself wondering if the dog demon had ever even managed to have sex. It would suck to be an eight-hundred-year-old virgin…

As if he knew she was thinking about him—and not very favorably thoughts at that—Sesshoumaru's eyes slid past his ranting half-brother to focus on her and Kagome gulped, partially out of fear that he could read minds and partially because his eyes were just that cold.

Those very cold eyes combed down her body, dismissing her instantly, before suddenly widening and focusing back on what she held in her hands. Kagome glanced down, forgetting that she'd been holding Souta's poodle at the moment, and then looked back up to see Sesshoumaru bearing down on her. 'Eeping', Kagome back peddled until she was closer to Miroku and Sango while trying to remember what the rules were about how to handle approaching vicious dogs. By the Kami, they'd just gone over this recently in one of her school's "street safety lessons"!

Did she keep eye contact or look off to the side? Would a loud noise scare Sesshoumaru away? Should she thump him on his nose? Would he like one of the dog biscuits she had left over in her bag or would Inuyasha throw a tantrum that she was going to use them to save her life?

Thankfully she didn't have to find out as the bundle of curly fur in her arms began growling evilly, bringing the daiyoukai bearing down on her to a confused standstill. Kagome would have laughed if she wasn't scared out of her mind at the moment. "What is that abomination?" the daiyoukai demanded to know, taking a step backwards that Kagome couldn't help but catch.

"It's Kagome's fuckin' poodle!" Inuyasha answered for her, coming up to stand almost brotherly beside Sesshoumaru as he, too, glared at the ball of fluff in her arms. "Protective little shit," he continued to grumble. "Won't let me near my trea—Kagome."

"He's not mine," Kagome quickly corrected, glaring at Inuyasha for not stepping in between her and his brother. Really, her and Sesshoumaru's track record wasn't so great as far as socialization went and Inuyasha should know that. "And you are a gluttonous pig, Inuyasha. Thinking of your dog biscuits instead of me!"

"It's that fuckin' dog!" Inuyasha continued to whine, oblivious to the fact that his brother had just heard that he liked dog treats.

"Who I wanted to take back," Kagome reminded him sternly. Then she turned to look at Sesshoumaru. "It's just a poodle. No reason to be scared of him. His bark is worse than his bite. Like you."

Her mouth, Kagome decided, had lost its ever-loving mind…

The daiyoukai's eyes widened notably more after hearing her bold speech and Kagome swore she saw a leakage of red in there with the normally icy gold. But then he looked back down at the ball of fluff in her arms, which was still growling and yipping up a storm, and turned away. "This is not over, miko," she heard Sesshoumaru say before he left as quickly as he'd arrived.

Kagome counted her lucky stars and thanked her guardian angels that night as they made camp, her poodle protector trailing after her like the loyal lap dog he was turning out to be. Really, the dog had contained most of her troubles with only a single yip and this trip was turning out to be a lot easier than any of the previous ones. Of course, when shit really hit the fan Kagome would have to be the protector since the dog thought it was of Sesshoumaru-size proportions when, in fact, it didn't even reach her kneecaps.

Speaking of dogs with egos bigger than themselves, Kagome turned her attention to Inuyasha, who was glaring at the poodle again. "You can stop now, Inuyasha. He doesn't even realize your hating on him."

"Fuck," Inuyasha replied, folding his arms across his chest in childish display.

He can be so damn cute sometimes! Kagome thought to herself as she watched Inuyasha try and act macho and manly in front of his pint-sized opponent. But then she was reminded of their earlier encounter with Sesshoumaru. "Stay," she ordered the poodle, who immediately sat down. It had become quite obvious early on that the sit command just wouldn't work with this dog and Inuyasha in the same place at the same time. Thankfully, though, the poodle had had more brains than the hanyou and had learned that stay meant pretty much the same thing as sit.

Leaving the poodle to stare woefully after her, Kagome went over to where the hanyou was sitting and sat down next to him. "So. What was up with your brother today?"

"HALF-brother," Inuyasha reminded her stubbornly.

"Okay. HALF-brother. What was up with him?"

"Hell if I know, but the sooner we get rid of the rat the better."

As if the poodle knew Inuyasha was talking about him, Kagome heard a familiar growl. She turned, fully expecting to merit out some doggy discipline, and instead found her vision blocked by white. Looking up the long, length of billowing silk before her, Kagome only had time to gasp before she was roughly grabbed, flipped over Sesshoumaru's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and then had her stomach pulled into her throat by means of nauseously fast movement as Sesshoumaru sped away with her.

*PA*

Icy water assailed her, waking her up from her passed-out stupor. Kagome sputtered, flailing her arms around her uselessly as her mind came back into the present. Then she stilled, realizing her life wasn't in danger of ending due to drowning—as the water wasn't more than a few inches deep—and her backside would be even more sore if she continued to move it against the rocky bottom of the stream Sesshoumaru had thrown her in. Speaking of the dog demon…

Twisting around to look behind her, Kagome found Sesshoumaru standing a few feet away. The daiyoukai wore an obviously pleased look on his face as he watched her splash in the cold mountain stream. "What in the hell?" she found herself shouting before clapping her hands over her mouth to stop anything else from coming out. Not that what she had already said wasn't enough of a reason for Sesshoumaru to gut her. Please leave something for Inuyasha to take back to momma…

"You smell better now, miko," the daiyoukai surprisingly answered, not showing the least bit of insult over her tone.

Standing up, rubbing her abused backside and abdomen, Kagome wearily watched Sesshoumaru as she moved to the opposite side of the small stream. While it wasn't much of a barrier and Sesshoumaru could cross the distance between them faster than she could blink, Kagome did it anyway. It was all just a superficial mind-fuck for herself to help keep from re-wetting her already dripping skirt and panties. Sesshoumaru had abducted her, for Kamis sake!

He smirked at her obviousness, but still did not move from where he had positioned himself.

Unsure of what to do, Kagome began righting her appearance as best as she could. Squeezing the excess water out of her skirt and shirt, thankful she hadn't changed into her pajamas yet, she kicked off her shoes and removed her socks. She squeezed the water out of her socks next and put her shoes back on without them. If there was one thing she hated most, it was wearing wet socks! Next came her toes pruning…which is something she worked hard to avoid no matter how long she stayed in the bath back at home. All things were possible when one was determined!

Realizing she was letting her mind wander when it really should be focused, she turned and found Sesshoumaru hadn't moved an inch. She wasn't even sure if the daiyoukai was breathing, so much like a statue did he resemble. "Well," she said with a light clap of her hands and a bow of respect. "I've been more than suitably punished for my poor behavior, Sesshoumaru-sama. I deeply apologize for my mouth and thank you for the leniency you've shown me in this matter. I'll just be heading back to Inuyasha now if you'll only point me in the right direction…"

Hopeful, Kagome took a few sidesteps in the direction she thought Inuyasha and the others might be. Then she realized statue Sesshoumaru wasn't going to lend her any aid. Very well. It hadn't been expected, after all.

Turning her back to the daiyoukai, after playing a mental game of 'eeny, meeny, miny, moe', Kagome started off into the surrounding trees looking forward to dry pajamas, maybe some ramen, and her new poodle space-heater.

CRACK!

The sound of a whip split the night air and Kagome only knew of one being who even had anything remotely like a whip between the two of them. An instant later she felt the snap of it against her derriere and her back end was receiving remarkably more of the cool night air against it. 'Eeping' again, a sound she was coming to relate to Sesshoumaru, Kagome splayed her hands across her butt and realized, first hand, that her skirt was now sporting a very revealing gap. She spun around, red-faced, and sputtered for a full minute before the daiyoukai deemed it time to speak. "This one did not give you permission to leave, miko. Stay."

Beyond angry for all the insults she'd received so far this evening—being abducted without a by-your-leave, being dumped in icy cold water, being mocked with silence, and then having her expensive school uniform ruined, Kagome scrunched up her fists at her side and marched back over to where Sesshoumaru stood. She glared up at the daiyoukai, feeling the fires of the seven hells building within her, and struck out with her hand…

…smacking one previously arrogant demon lord across his finely chiseled nose.

"Bad dog!"

to be continued...