DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Sadly all rights to Doctor Who belong to BBC and not to me. I also don't own the song 'Whatever it Takes'; all rights belong to Lifehouse.
A/N: I suppose this is kind of a post Journey's End fix-it.
SUMMARY: They had been through so much together and now the Doctor is gonna do whatever it takes to keep them together, they way it should have been all along.
TITLE: Whatever it Takes
AUTHOR: RoxxiSanders
Doctor Donna – Doctor Donna – Doctor Donna
It was a night the same as every other; the Doctor sat with his feet propped up on the console, telling himself that tonight would be different but deep down he knew it wouldn't. It had been a week and a half since he had left Donna with her mother and grandfather but he still couldn't bring himself to leave. Of course he had parked the TARDIS out of sight for fear that she would see it and remember everything but he couldn't bear to leave her. Every day he would lock the TARDIS doors and watch her from a distance, keeping vigil over her and wishing that she was still with him.
He was broken form his thoughts as the TARDIS hummed in the back of his mind. "I know old girl but tomorrow will be different." Tomorrow…something which he had come to fear now that she was gone. Things weren't the same without her around and now, tomorrow didn't feel exciting anymore. Tomorrow was just another day…another day without Donna by his side.
The hum seemed to become less contented and more agitated as the TARDIS told him exactly how she felt for a change. 'Tomorrow is never different.'
"This isn't easy for either of us but…but things will get better." Another lie which he told himself every night.
'It won't get better unless you do something about it.'
He sighed miserably and crossed his arms over his chest. "And what am I supposed to do…carry on without her?" That was the last straw and the TARDIS sent a shock to his leg through the console. "I'm sorry, this isn't your fault but I miss her so much."
'Me too.'
He sat in silence for another few minutes, contemplating how to get things back to normal but secretly knowing that for once, he couldn't. The silence inside the ship was broken as soft music began to play. "If you don't mind, I preferred it…"
Again another jolt went through his leg and he fell silent. 'Just listen.'
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
He smiled slightly as he recognised the song but his smile faded when once again thoughts of his lost companion filled his mind. The smile she had given him once they were back on the TARDIS alone had broken his heart. She had been so excited, her head filled with plans for the future but her heart filled with fear of the consequences of her actions. Deep down she had also known that things would never be the same but what she hadn't expected was that he would actually go through with it…wipe her memories and return her to Donna, 'super-temp of Chiswick'. With him she was so much more, they all saw it; him, her, her grandfather and even her mother…though of course she would never admit this.
It had been worse this time with Donna. Rose had had a mother and father who adored her and second time around she had had another version of him. Martha had had her family who had been overjoyed when she had agreed to stay, she had had Tom Milligan to find and fall in love with. Donna had a grandfather who loved her more than life itself but a mother who made her feel unimportant and incredibly ordinary. Ordinary was a word which the Doctor would never associate with Donna Noble. She had been the most important woman in the universe…
'She still is.' The Doctor silently cursed the way that the TARDIS could read his mind. 'Now that's just rude.' Muttering an apology to his beloved ship, he leant back against the seat cushion and sighed. 'You needed her.'
"I still do." And he meant that, without Donna he felt lost. There had a been a million reasons that she should have left him but she never did, she had always found a reason to stay but this time she had had no choice and neither had he because he wasn't going to be responsible for another death…especially not hers.
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
If he could have turned back time without worlds colliding, he would have done anything to stop her…to stop her from trying to save him. It was too late now though; there was nothing he could do and as he watched her day by day, he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as he saw her flirt with guys in pubs. It used to be him that got to see her smile every morning, him that held her hand when they walked down the streets, him that comforted her when she cried over people that they just couldn't save. He knew it was selfish but if there was anyway he could have let her stay without harming her then he would have done…just so that he could be with her every day to make her see how special she really was. Oh and she *was* special.
'There must be something you can do.'
"There isn't, if there was then I'd have done it already."
'She was good for you.'
He couldn't help it and before he knew what he was saying…"Don't you think I know that!" Glaring at the wall, he couldn't stop a tear from escaping. "She was my best friend and I lost her! I lost her and it isn't fair!"
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
She had made him face up to his feelings and fears, forcing him to talk to her instead of holding back and he had loved her for it. Rose had made him forget and Martha had told him that it was all going to be okay but not Donna. She had been honest with him, she had told him that everything would be okay but only if he made it okay instead of running away and feeling sorry for himself. She had challenged him, sobbing until he had agreed to save someone in Pompeii; if only to prove that they were still travelling for the right reasons…to see the universe but more importantly, to help people.
"And you want to know what makes it even worse? Do you? I never even told her how much she meant to me! I never let her know that because she made me face up to my past, I fell in love with her! That's right, me…the Doctor who swore never to fall for anyone ever again because it hurts…fell for Donna Noble!" This was the first time in years that he had been this angry as he violently spat the words out and paced around the console room. The TARDIS simply hummed, knowing that he needed to let it all out. When he had finished, he fell to his knees and sobbed. Sobbed for himself and sobbed for his darling Donna whom he would never again get to hold in his arms.
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
She did deserve better. Donna Noble, saviour of the universe deserved so much more; deserved to know that because of her there were planets safe in the sky. Wilf had promised to remember for her sake but somehow it wasn't enough. It was awful seeing her living her life just like she always had; going to the pub with friends, waking up with hangovers and stumbling out of the house clutching at her head because she had overslept and not had time to do something about the thumping headache she had.
"She's worth so much more." He quietly whispered, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.
'I know.' The TARDIS hummed lightly, trying to calm and soothe the broken time lord in front of her.
"You know, it's funny really." He let out a small, somewhat bitter chuckle and rested his chin on his folded arms. "Wilf says that she was better off with me and that he would look at the stars and think of me…why does everyone think I am so amazing? I'm the reason Wilf's only granddaughter is missing a chunk of her life and all he could say was that he's proud of me and that he would never forget me." Sighing for the millionth time that night, he closed his eyes and tired to block out the memories of her. "I let you down Donna and I am so sorry."
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
'If you could start again, would you do it differently?' The TARDIS hummed the question and he realised that she was trying to get him to confess all and stop bottling it all up…she was trying to make up for Donna's absence and although it was a sweet gesture, it wasn't quite the same.
His whisper was wistful as his eyes adopted a far away look. "Yes. If I could do things differently I'd let her know how much she meant to me."
'She did know how much she meant to you, you told her everyday that she was your best friend…that she grounded you and that you'd be lost if you ever lost her.'
"Yeah but I never told her the one thing I wanted to."
'That you loved her.'
"That she was everything to me and that I'd never felt that way about anyone or anything in a long time. She reminded me of Gallifrey…with her I was home." He knew how cheesy that must have sounded but he didn't care, cheesy or not it was the truth. "If I could start over, I would never have left her on Christmas day. Stood there in the snow with her, I knew that I loved her…guess I was just too scared to admit it to myself."
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
An hour of silence passed until he felt the familiar hum in his mind. 'What if I told you that I could help you bring her back.'
"How, it's impossible?" His voice was emotionless but hope shone in his eyes.
'Maybe not, not if you can find someway of absorbing the time lord memories from her.'
"But…"
'Nothing is impossible…you survived the time war for a reason.' There was a long pause and he said nothing, holding his breath. 'What if she is your reason?'
Jumping to his feet, a slow smile spread across his face. "Tomorrow will be different…tomorrow I'm getting my Donna back."
'Tomorrow.' And she believed him this time because now he had something to fight for and if there was one thing that this time lord wasn't…it was a quitter. 'Tomorrow she comes home?'
"Tomorrow we start again. I'll bring her back, whatever it takes and this time I'm never letting her go again."
Doctor Donna – Doctor Donna – Doctor Donna
A/N: Please review and let me know what you thought