Title: To Let Go
Author: BLANCintrigue
Disclaimer: I didn't own Kyou Kara Maou. If I do, Yuuri and Wolfram is already married. *LOL*
Summary: The wedding is finally taking place. But did both of them ready? Wolfram comes with solution. Did he make a good decision?
a/n: I tried to make sure they be as in character as possible. Sorry, if I misinterpreted their behavior. But I do think that's how they would react.
a/n: This is post season three, let say about two years after their engagement and I would like to add that this story takes place before 'How to make love'. Which means, you can assume that this is how Wolfram and Yuuri get together before 'How to make love'.
To let go
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it's yours.
If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.
"How do I look?" The demon prince asked nervously.
Instead of answering the question, Cherie adjusting and straitening the suit Wolfram is wearing. The suit is almost the same as Wolfram's uniform but its white with a gold trimming. The suit is a bit shorter than his usual uniform and had a golden-wing-shaped decoration (that almost looks like a burning fire on the first glance) on the left side of the suit. There was a cape that drape over his shoulders and it being clasped tightly with a solid golden crest that embedded with a big emerald stone.
"Mother…" It's almost sound like plead, but there was an obvious tone of nervous there.
"Oh Wolfie, you look beautiful! Even more beautiful than I am. Owh… I was so jealous of you." Cherie said in excitement. Even in suit, Wolfram looks so beautiful. Cherie was disappointed at first when Wolfram refused to wear a dress for his wedding, but relived as the suit didn't change any fact on how beautiful the demon prince is.
"Mother, you know I don't like it when you call me beautiful." It is almost like a scold but Cherie knows it was not a scold.
"Fine! You look so handsome. But still so beautiful!" A wink.
"Mother…" He whined again which earned a giggle from the ex-maou.
"It's fine to be called beautiful dear since you are one. It will not make you silly or weak just to be called beautiful. I would call it, appreciation. It is natural when people appreciate something so beautiful." Cherie said as she's now adjusting the matching white cape on his son's shoulders.
Wolfram sighed. There's no way he could win any argument with his mother. He doesn't know how his mother would be so good at convincing thing, but he always amaze by that. Whenever his mother had decided something, then that's that. There's no way in arguing it. If she comes to convince fire to be cold, then it might be it!
Even in silence Cherie could read the uneasiness on his son's face. Wolfram was always been so confident on how he looks. How he would present himself to other. There's never been a time Wolfram would ask other on how he looks. Asking an opinion means he is nervous. And the reason for it is the wedding.
"Don't worry dear. Everything is going to be alright. Just go there and says your vow. Then when Ulrike give the blessing from The Great One, Yuuri will present you with a wedding bracelet to indicate you as his Prince Consort. Then you will change ring which will represent your commitment to each other. And the last part, which is my favorite part, is you two need to kiss to prove your willingness!" Cherie finished her sentences with a squeal.
"Mother, I know about that already. I attend so many wedding to know what would happen during a wedding ceremony. It's not the ceremony that's worrying me, it's Yuuri."
Cherie looked at her son for a while. "Well, I'm sure Gunter had teach him how a wedding would held in this world." She replied rather calm.
"No mother. You don't get it! I'm not worry if Yuuri would screw up during the wedding." There was a pause. "Well, maybe I will be worried about that." As he said that, an image of Yuuri screwing up the wedding played in his mind. He quickly discarded the thought before continuing, "What I was more concern is, how if Yuuri suddenly thinks that this isn't right? How if he suddenly wants to cancel this wedding? When he suddenly realize he didn't want this. That this is another mistake. Another accident that should not happend?"
Insecurity! Wolfram always had that. Since he was a kid, he always had that. But Cherie cannot blame him. She was at fault too. Her marriage with Wolfram's father is nothing more that to cover her marriage with Dan Hiri Weller. To cover her marriage with a human! And that had paid a great deal. Wolfram's childhood without a father figure.
Wolfram father is never been pleased to have him. Cherie could count by finger on how many times that man would come visiting them in Blood Pledge castle. And she could tell how many times that man would hug Wolfram when the prince was still a toddler. Never! And Wolfram would asked her, why Conrart's father is so fond to Conrart when his father is not. And when the question comes, she would avoid it.
When Wolfram's father died, Wolfram didn't cry. She thought because to Wolfram, that man never exists in his life. But back at the castle she found out that her poor baby is crying in his bed badly. She never forget what Wolfram had said to her that night, "I don't know if father love me or not. I want to know but I never ask. Now, there's no way I could ask that anymore and thinking about it made me sad."
Then there was the truth about Corart being half-human.
Cherie always aware, the only thing Wolfram's father would talk to Wolfram beside of the Great One and how proud a Bielefeld is, is about never trusting a human. Wolfram being a kid who wants to get a little approval from his father was so eager to trust everything. Sadly, that was the thing that drifted him from Conrart.
Cherie knows it was betrayal that Wolfram feels when he knows about the truth. His beloved little big brother, the brother that he admired, the brother that he respected never told him about this before and knowing it when he already believe that Conrart is full blooded Mazoku just double the pain.
After that, Cherie realized, Wolfram never been too fond to anyone anymore. He had loved his father with an uncertainty whether he would be love back or not. He had loved Conrart to find out that the man is half-human but never tell him the truth. And now he had love Yuuri without knowing whether the Maou love him or not. Filling him with hope like his father but didn't fulfill the hope at the end. Make him believe but then shatter the trust like Conrart did.
"Oh Wolfie dear…" She pulled his youngest into a tight hug but not tight enough to choke him.
Wolfram let himself buried in the motherly warm hug. If this is in public, he would push away out of embarrassment. Since there is no one there, he let himself to indulge the warm hug.
"Everything is going to be alright dear. Believe me, his majesty do love you. You are just nervous."
"Well, I am nervous. Yuuri might call this wedding off even before its start. Yes! I'm nervous like hell!" He pushed his mother away quite rough that he regretted it later as he sensed sadness in his mother's eyes.
"Stop being so pessimistic dear. I know it was me who rushed this wedding, but I know it will bring something good."
"What good thing can it bring mother? Yuuri proposed me back, saying he would consider back this engagement. Saying he would try to overcome his earthen belief. He is trying mother, but you push him to this wedding. I'm afraid he would freak out and consider the other way around." Wolfram yelled. Not yelling actually, but his voice just louder than usual.
"But you two had kissed which is for me a good sign." The ex-maou said with a wide grin.
A blush quickly crept on the porcelain cheek. He remembers that night when Yuuri slapped him across his face. Promise to try to love him. He remembers how shaky Yuuri's voice that time when he said 'love'. He was very happy and when Yuuri suddenly kissed him, he was awestruck but immediately responded to the kiss. But when his mother, brothers and the maids suddenly came out from their hiding place, Wolfram feels like running to the end of the world to hide away from everyone.
He remembered the proud smile on Conrart's face, the frown from his older brother and the squeal from the maids. He even remembered Yuuri smiling sheepishly with a deep shade of red coloring his handsome feature.
Then when his mother announced the wedding would be next week on the day after the incident both he and Yuuri snapped. Yuuri quickly came to discuss the thing. And as Yuuri is always Yuuri and his mother being so good at convincing, there is no protest on the wedding. He didn't hope for Yuuri to say 'no'. But accepting the wedding never been in his sane mind that Yuri would willingly do.
Now here he is worrying his heart toward the wedding that is going to happen about less than hour.
"Maybe I should not do this. Maybe we should stop this wedding. That's it! I'm going to find Yuuri." As he said that, he stormed toward the door. Cherie quickly ran and blocked the door.
"Mother, please! Just let me do this." Wolfram pleaded softly.
"No Wolfie. You are not going anywhere so listen carefully. I'm sure this is all happened because you are too nervous. So, I want you to take a deep breath and exhale slowly." The queen looked at his youngest with determined eyes.
They stared at each other for a while before Wolfram slowly took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. After done it for quite some number, he feels a little calm. Seems like his mother is right, maybe he is nervous.
"Now, now dear. Everything is going to be fine. Just fine. Believe me, okay?" Cheri said as she put the best reassuring smile as she could on her beautiful face.
Wolfram looked at his mother for a while and sighed. He knows that there's no point in arguing this with her mother. Maybe she is right. Maybe Yuuri do love him. Maybe Yuuri do wants this wedding. Maybe he's just being too nervous.
"Alright mother. You win." The defeated statement made the ex-maou smile happily.
Just when everything is settle, there was a knock on the door and a very familiar voice. Cheri smile and quickly open the door to reveal a stoic faced man clad in green. Gwendal glanced at the one who wear a white suit and cannot help thinking how cute his little brother is and the thought that he is going to give his precious little brother to someone make his head throbbed in pain.
"Is everything ready?"
"Yes!"
"No!"
Both Wolfram and Cheri answered almost at the same time. Gwendal raised an eyebrow at his brother and mother's antic.
"Actually it is yes. Your brother here is just having a cold feet." Cheri said almost cheerful. Wolfram was beginning to feel a knot in his gut again. Alright, take a deep breath…
Gwendal looked at his little brother. How he hoped his brother would be happy is as same as how he hoped he did not have to give his brother to anyone. How he hoped this wedding is not real is the same as how he hoped Wolfram would be together with the Maou.
"Are you sure you okay?" Gwendal asked. His voice is flat even there is a little hint of concern there which can only be detect by Cheri.
Instead of answering his older brother, Wolfram nodded.
"Let's go then." By that word, Wolfram knows, there's no turning back anymore.
* * *
Yuuri swear, he was the luckiest person in this alternate world (and maybe in earth too) when he saw Wolfram walking in with Gwendal and Conrart by his sides. He never doubted how beautiful the demon prince is but this time he looked even more beautiful and… attractive. As Wolfram continued walking to the altar, Yuuri mustered his best smile and offered a hand to him. When Wolfram took the hand, both Gwendal and Conrart bowed at Yuuri, they turned around and walked to take their sits beside Cheri.
The ceremony is smooth. Yuuri was surprise that he had said his vow without shaking and he didn't drop the ring as he afraid he might.
"I will now present you, the 27th Maou of Shin Makoku, His Majesty Yuuri Shibuya and his Prince Consort, His Highness Wolfram Shibuya-von Bielefeld." The announcement was received with clap. Yuuri again, just smile but when the second statement is added, his smile dropped. "You two may kiss now."
As the words finish, Yuuri fidgeted on his place. Not that he never kissed Wolfram before, he had tried once and he should admit that it's not bad at all. But to kiss in front of everyone? Noticing how Yuuri had rooted on his foot, Wolfram take the initiative to take a step closer to his wimp, rise himself on his toe (even he didn't like to admit it, Yuuri had grew taller than him now) and placed a kiss on the Yuuri's lips which gain a cheers from the crowd. It didn't take long for Yuuri to respond back but as soon as he responded Wolfram had break the kiss. He don't really understand the sudden disappointment but he let the feeling slip pass and gave his infamous goofy smile at his family and his husband's family. He realized that Gwendal is glaring dagger at him, but he try to ignore it. Say Conrart had a brother complex with Wolfram, Gwendal is having a father complex!
Yuuri looked at Wolfram and realize that he is not smiling. He frowned as he put a hand on Wolfram waist to pull the blond close to him. It startled Wolfram a bit that he looked at Yuuri with questioning look.
"Is there anything bothering you, Wolf?" Yuuri asked in a low voice. Almost whisper.
"No. It's nothing. It just, I don't feel so well. I was too nervous last night that I don't have enough sleep." Wolfram just hopes that Yuuri would believe him. He's not in the mood to explain anything. YET!
"Well, I should say the same too. I still couldn't believe that we are now husband and, well, husband. I should say that it sound kindda' weird to me." Yuuri said as he laughed sheepishly.
Even there was only a slight discomfort in the tone Wolfram could sense it as clear as water. He is right! Yuuri is still a bit uncomfortable with the idea.
"Yuu.."
"Congratulation Yuu-chan! I'm so happy for you." Without warning Miko Shibuya charged toward Yuuri and hugged him tightly. Wolfram cannot help to feel lucky that his mother didn't do that to him.
"Owh, Wolf-chan, you are so beautiful! Yuu-chan was so lucky to have you." As she said that, she hugged the blond in the same manner she had done to his son.
"Thanks Mama." Yuuri was amazed on how Wolfram was manage to answer even he is being choke by the overly-motherly hug. Guess to have a mother like Cheri-sama is nothing different than having a mom like Miko Shibuya.
"You two look perfect together! Don't you think so honey?" Miko said as she turned to look at her husband. Sohma Shibuya smile at her wife. Even it is not the first time he saw the smile, Wolfram still amaze on how the smile resemble Yuuri's. A lot!
"Honey, I think its better we leave them. The others might want to congratulate them too."
"Owh. I forgot about it. And Yuu-chan, please open my present first. I give you the most useful thing." Giving a wink she leaned closer to Wolfram to give him a kiss on the cheek and continued, "For the wedding night."
"Useful? I wonder what it might be." Yuuri said without realizing the blush on Wolfram face.
"I think let us just forget what she had said."
"Yuuri heika!" Before Yuuri could asked why, he was cut by Flurin who's walking toward the couple now.
"Flurin-san!"
"Well, you look so handsome," A compliment which cause Wolfram to pout. Realizing the sully expression Flurin smiled and corrected herself, "and so do you, Your Highness."
"I'm so glad you come. You said you cannot come which I was so upset at first. When you said you might come, I was hoping. And to exactly come, I'm so glad!" Yuuri said cheerfully.
"I was glad that Your Majesty is expecting me that much." Flurin giggled.
"I told you its Yuuri right? We are friend." The statement was received with a smile.
"Then, congratulation. Yuuri" Yuuri smiles upon the word 'Yuuri'. Smiling back, Flurin continues, "I always knew that you two will get married. The first time we meet, I know you would end up together despite you keep repeating that you had been accidently engage to him."
Yuuri laughed. "Maybe my life is about accident. I think. Well, this marriage is actually…" Yuuri stoped when he realizing what he is going to say. Am I going to tell Flurin that this is also an accident and upset Wolf? Don't be a jerk Yuuri. You are better than that!
"Actually what?" Flurin asked.
"No, it's nothing." Yuuri answer back. Now scratching the back of his head.
"I think you want to say this is also an accident." She said that and laughed. Yuuri just laughed nervously but Wolfram's expression hardens. Are you going to say that Yuuri?
"Wolf?'
"Huh?"
"Are you okay? You've been too quite."
Wolfram didn't answer the question for the next ten seconds which makes Yuuri frowned.
Wolfram sighed and answers, "I'm fine just a headache." Which is not lie. He is having a headache considering now he think Yuuri is taking their marriage as an accident. TOO…
"What? Do you need me to call Gisela." As he said that, the double black started to wander his gaze to look for the green haired medic.
"No! It's not that bad. I think I will be okay if I sit somewhere less crowded. If you please excuse me."
Before Yuuri says anything, Wolfram is already turned around and leaved both Yuuri and Flurin.
* * *
"Congratulation." Wolfram turns just to find that the person who congratulated him is Conrart.
"Thanks." He answered with a smile before playing with the glass in his hand back.
Conrat suddenly took the glass and placed it to the nearest table. Wolfram casted a questioning look at his brother while the said brother just smiles fondly to him.
"Anything bothering you?" Conrart asked.
"Nothing." He answered without much interest.
"Wolf, I know there's something bothering you. Tell me. Maybe I can help."
There is no answer. The emerald eyes wandered around before he stop at his now husband. Yuuri is talking with some rulers from other countries. Probably their allies. Maybe everyone is congratulating him. He knew he should be there with Yuuri since he is now the Prince Consort but he didn't feel like it. So he excused himself saying to Yuuri that he had a headache and asked Yuuri to let him sit somewhere out of the crowd and to rest. To rest his restless emotion.
Since Yuuri rules this country, there had been many country begin to make pact with Shin Makoku.
The day when human and mazoku can live together…
Wolfram let a smile form on his lips before he turn and look at Conrart, "I'm sorry."
The usually-calm face change into a huge shock. Did his ears hear it wrong? Wolfram is apologizing to him.
"For what?"
"For denying you for all these years. I've been childish. I've been stupid. I hope we can make up again, brother."
There is no answer but a hug. Stunt, Wolfram hugged back after a full ten second. He could hear a slow 'thank you' and just smile to that.
'Brother'. Conrart had longing for that word for ages! After Wolfram knows the truth about him being half-human Wolfram is avoiding him like plague. He at the same time didn't dare to face his little brother. He knows part of it was his mistake. He never told. He never told because his mother told him not to. He don't understand why his mother told him to never mention anything about his father being a human to Wolfram, but he follow the words obediently. When he grow up more, travel and see the world more he begin to understand the reason. Wolfram is a full-blooded Mazoku and he is half-human. Among all the place he had been visited with his father, there's no place where human and Mazuko live peacefully, so that, he made a decision to not to tell Wolfram about his true nature with hope that Wolfram would not hate him.
However, for Wolfram he feel betrayed not mainly because Conrart is half-human, but because Conrart never tell him the truth. That Conrart had lied to him. The half-human fact only makes the hatred grow.
"I've been silly. I'm sorry."
"No! It's not your fault. It's my fault. I should have told you the truth. Not keeping it as a secret."
"It's practically my foolishness too. I didn't ask you. Whenever I see your father, I feel something strange about him. I'm just too afraid to ask mother or you about him."
"Now Wolf, tell me, what actually bother you." Conrart said while at the same time he pulled Wolfram from the hug just to stare at the restless emerald.
"Nothing. It's no.."
"Don't try to avoid my question. I know something is bothering you. What is it Wolf?"
Wolfram didn't answer first. He looked at Yuuri again where he felt his heart ached.
"Should we be together, Conrart? Because I think, Yuuri didn't want this. He's doing this for the sake of me and mother. That he actually accepted this marriage because he pitied me and because mother wanted this so badly."
"Wolf…"
"I don't know Conrart. This. And everything. It feels so wrong. I really want this. But I didn't feel like I should. I don't know Conrart. It's so confusing. How if I made a wrong decision?"
"What are you talking about, Wolf? You two had been married."
"Yes! And that's what makes it much more wrong. Which makes me think more about this. I've been thinking about this before the marriage, but I think I got selfish. I…" A pause. Wolfram swallowed his saliva but it feels like there's a huge lump in his throat. Conrart didn't say anything.
"I really want this." There is a sound of desperate and hurt, Conrart wants to hug his brother to comfort him but he knew Wolfram would not like it. "You know how long I've waited for this. I know it was wrong to neglect Yuuri's feeling. I don't know how he feels about this wedding. I never asked him before this wedding because I'm afraid that the spell might break. That he might cancels this wedding. I'm pathetic, right? "
"No you not…"
Wolfram looked at Conrart. Their eyes meet. "Don't say it to make me feel better."
"I'm not making you feel batter. You think about Yuuri's feeling. You just scared."
"What make it different with pathetic?'
"Wolfram, you might not realize this, but you had a big issue of insecurity." Wolfram frowned. "And you had a way of taking asking as a hard thing." The frown got deeper. Conrart realized the expression and smiles. That was a cute expression.
"The spell you talked before. The spell that you afraid might break so much. There's no spell Wolfram, it's just you." Conrart pause to look at his little brother. The brother that he loves the most.
"When you are little, I overhead you with mother. When you asked her why your father is not so fond with you like my father." Conratrt looked at Wolfram again and this time he noticed a shock on the pretty face.
"Do you ever really ask him? When I watched you with your father, I realized you wanted to ask him about that but you didn't because you afraid if you ask him, he might tell you the thing you don't wanna hear. So you keep quite. So that the spell didn't break, right?" When Conrart want to find the emerald orbs again, Wolfram avoided the look.
He admitted that his brother was right.
"Ask him." Wolfram looked at Conrart. Astonish.
"How much it had cost you for keeping it for yourself? Instead of assuming, ask him yourself."
"But…"
"You are not a coward Wolfram. I knew you not."
"Then what should I do?"
"As I told you, ask him."
"After that?"
"Wolf, this is your life. I cannot tell you what you should do. It's up to you on how you would do it but remember, whatever you do, whatever you decision is, I'm always by your side. I want you to be happy."
Wolfram didn't say anything. He casted a look at Yuuri again. Maybe he should ask.
* * *
"Yuuri…" the voice is low. Wolfram didn't dare to look at his newlywed husband.
Yuuri looked at him before bringing one hand on Wolfram's chin to make him look into his eyes.
"What is it, Wolf?" Yuuri asked with a smile.
This is perfect. Yuuri is here with him as his husband. This is what he dreamed about, what he really wanted. It's all to perfect but he still need to ask Yuuri. Need to confirm thing with him. If this is what he wanted, does it all Yuuri's want too?
There was a silence at first as the blond struggled to find a correct word to begin. He didn't want to screw everything with what he is going to ask, but he needed a confirmation and he is not going to wait. If he didn't confirm this, their marriage will be more than trouble.
"I was wondering…" A pause. He gathered his courage and continues, "Since we've already married, I want to know, did you regret that you had married me now, Yuuri?" The words cause the smile to drop and change into a frown as he backed his hand from the warm cheek.
Silence once again took place but this time, the silent seem to be tense. Wolfram dared himself to look in the black orbs. His heart hurts when Yuuri suddenly avoided the look and turned around so that his back is facing him. The reaction was what he had expected, but he didn't know that it will hurt this much.
"Tell me Yuuri. Are you regretting that we had been married now? I'm sorry if I'm hurting you with this question, but this a marriage, not an engagement anymore." His voice is clear. He mustered all of his courage to call upon the next thing he's going to say.
"The day you proposed me again, you said you want to try. You want to try to accept this relationship, you want to try to love me. But the question is, do you really have accepted this kind of relationship? Do you really love me? And I know, this marriage is a rush. I'm afraid that you still cannot accept it, so… I was thinking about ending this before it was too late…"
Still backing his now Prince Consort, Yuuri sighed. Slowly he turned around to face Wolfram.
"Wolf… I…"
"Just tell me the truth. Don't cloud anything." Wolfram cut harshly before Yuuri could says much.
Yuuri sighed again.
"Actually… I regret that I had married you now…" As he said that, he looks into the emerald eyes. Wolfram quickly cut the contact. He is not going to let Yuuri to read the hurt in his eyes. He is not weak. He is not going to show that he's upset because Yuuri said he regretted marrying him. He's the one who brought it up. He should have the courage to face the answer.
"I'm sorry Wolfram. But if you want me to tell you the truth, then, this is the truth." Yuuri said sadly. His gaze moved from Wolfram to the floor.
"Wimp!" Respond is what Wolfram had hoped for. But there ain't any. He knows, neither Yuuri nor him was too tense to even have even a little humor now.
He needs to do this, if he's not, no one will. Yuuri was too wimpy for this. Taking his breath inside as well as his sadness, he called upon his next words.
"You should tell me about this earlier!" The voice that seem so weak before this suddenly raise.
"I thought you want this. I thought that you would be happy." The answer was somehow has the different energy level.
"That's why you are a wimp! Always think about OTHERS. Then who would think about you? Be glad that I ALWAYS think about you, wimp!" Still raising his voice, Wolfram encountered.
"Don't you want this? I thought you are the one that want to marry me." Yuuri interjected.
"It always about your thought! Then how about mine?" As he speaks, he moved to their bed and sat.
There was silence for a while. Yuuri just stands and looked at Wolfram.
"Damn it Yuuri! Yes I want this marriage, but not without you want this as well."
Wolfram used both of his hands to cover his face while he panted heavily until the sound of his breath can be heard clearly.
He needs to calm down.
Stabilized his breath until it even, Wolfram moved his hand from his face and settled it on his lap.
"Wolf, look. I'm sorry, okay? Yes I'm not ready for this marriage, but I can continue to try to accept this. Wolfram, I had promised you that I would try, so…."
"Don't be an idiot, Yuuri!"
"What? Wolf I'm tr…"
"Shut up!" The sentence cut whatever Yuuri is about to say. Understanding that 'shut up' means shut up. Yuuri lets his word hang.
"Look! I'm going to do all the talking here and you listen to me! You understand?!"
Yuuri noded in agreement. He knows how scary the blond can be when he's mad and Yuuri didn't plan to die now.
Realizing that he had scared Yuuri with his anger, Wolfram sighed heavily. He needs to calm down, right? And this isn't calm down. He's going to make thing worse. Thing is already in so much mess. Planning to make it worse is not an option.
"Yuuri… look, I'm sorry I get mad… it's just… I'm sorry…" as he said that, he brought his hand back to his face, trying to breath between the fingers.
"No… You should not be sorry. You deserve to get angry. I'm the one who should be sorry…" Yuuri placed a hand on Wolfram's shoulder, pulling him close to his chest.
It startled Wolfram a bit since he didn't notice when Yuuri had sat beside him and it even surprised him that Yuuri would hold him this close.
"I don't want to hurt you. I've already hurt you too much. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Why can't we go on with this? I promise I can get over this in a year or two. Let me sort everything out." Yuuri said, caressing the soft golden flock softly.
He didn't know why he did this, but it hurt him to see Wolfram like this. He looked so vulnerable, so fragile, and so delicate that he may break anytime. And as far as Yuuri remembered, he had seen such look only a couple of times. First is when they thought Conrart is dead and second is when he's been brought back to the past by the Demon Mirror. The look Wolfram gave when he asked him to deliver the flower to Conrart.
Wolfram smile meaningfully. A year or two? As if they could survive in a year or two.
"Yuuri… marriage is not the same as engagement. There's a lot expectations in marriage. Especially since you are the Maou. The expectations are going to be higher than you could expect. Yuuri, if you can't accept this as it is, there's no way you could continue this." This time Wolfram voice begins to calm. He pulled himself from Yuuri so that he can look into the onyx eyes.
"What do you mean?" Yuuri asked obliviously.
"Look Yuuri, You said you want to try. I'm glad. But when you face all of the expectation, you are going to get stressed. I don't think you can handle it Yuuri. Not in such condition." While saying this, Wolfram took one of Yuuri hand into his and interlaced their finger together. Yuuri didn't pull away or flinch. Somehow it feels good to feel Wolfram's small finger between his.
"Like my mother and my father." Taking a pause Wolfram look at their joint hand before return to look at Yuuri and continue, "You know, they get married in order to cover what they called my mother mistake for marrying Dan Hiri Weller and had a son with him. Mother's love is always for Conrart's father and my father actually like someone else."
"They get married and say that they would try. Try to love each other and try to succeed the marriage." Somehow, Yuuri managed to notice a glint of sadness in the emerald orbs.
"Then everyone start to show their expectations. What they want to see, what they want to happened, and what should not happened. Too many expectations until it drive my parent away. It is just too much." Wolfram smile sadly. A smile that Yuuri find he feels so hurt to see.
"What exactly they expect for?" Choose not to stay quiet, Yuuri asked.
"Too much, Yuuri. The worse is, they expect my mother to forget the men she love the most and to love only my father. They expect mother to give her throne, the Maou position to father because mother 'love' father. And…" There's a long pause there. Yuuri waited patiently. He understands, it's hard to talk about a broken parent. He didn't know how exactly it would feel to have a parent who married because of politic, but he knows it wasn't pretty!
"And they expected mother to cast Conrart from the castle." Yuuri eyes widen. How could people be so cruel?
"I never learn about this until I was in my sixty. It was until Julia told me about it." Lowering his eyes again on their joint hand Wolfram chooses not to continue and let a silence settle between them. Taking a deep breath, he begins again, "That had brought them farer until they can't reach each other anymore. Father rarely comes to blood pledge after that. And I rarely had a chance to see him."
"Wolf…"
"They wanted to get divorce but they had already had me and the war is breaking. Father died when I was seven. And as far as I know about that man was his name. I even forget his face…" By the words, Yuuri felt a light squeeze on his hand. He squeezed back for assurance.
"Wolfram, I'm sorry…"
"Don't be. I'm not telling this for sympathy." Wolfram looked into Yuuri eyes. This time the look in the emerald eyes seem firm. "So, look Yuuri, marriage is not something that you can… Try. You may not know the future. Say you don't want to hurt me. So, let's end this before it becomes a burden."
"But… What would everyone say? Won't it ruin our reputation? Your reputation?"
"You need to learn that there is a special rule in marriage. It's been extended by my mother actually. It said that, any marriage that cancels before 24 hours is accepted without the need of court with one condition." Yuuri could see that Wolfram is fidgeting but he cannot understand why.
"What's the condition?" So he asked.
"Uhm… Well…" Yuuri noticed a blush on the fair skin.
"The couple is still virgin. If you know what I mean." The statement caused Yuuri to blush as well.
"So, you mean, since we are not doing 'that', we can still call off this marriage?" Again, both of them cannot hide their own blush from each other.
"Well, we can call off this marriage anytime, but that would involve court and a lot of casualties. I didn't said that this would not involve court at all, I know that this will infuriate the Ten Noble Family," as he said that the scary look of his uncle pooped out in his mind. He quickly shook his head to discard the image while continued, "But they cannot object much since the marriage is not sealed officially yet."
Yuuri gave a questioning look upon the word 'sealed'. Seal a marriage? Did they already seal the marriage when they exchanged their vow? Well, as what had been taught by Gunter.
"What with that look, Wimp?" Wolfram interjected as he noticed the dump look Yuuri was giving him.
"Err, what you meant by seal the marriage." The question received a shock look from Wolfram.
"Yuuri, a marriage cannot be called as official, not after sex!" There he goes. No more 'that' or 'it' or any other replacement word.
"So…"
"Let's tell everyone about this. I don't feel like talking to you about it anymore." 'It's too much talking already' Wolfram entangled their hand, stand up and begin to walk toward the door.
"Wait, no!" Yuuri said half screaming while he caught Wolfram by the wrist to hold him just before Wolfram could grab the door handle.
"What now? I thought you are the one who want to call off this marriage?" By the words, he snapped his hand back. Sometime he cannot understand this wimp.
Yuuri look dumbstruck before he laughed sheepishly and said, "I thought you are going to tell them that we are not doing 'that' yet."
The statement causes Wolfram to gape when he understand Yuuri's antic just now.
"Why would I tell them that?" They would know it themselves anyway. Wolfram blush by the voice behind his head. "You really are giving me a headache! No wonder you are a wimp!"
"Don't call me wimp!" Yuuri snapped out of habit.
Wolfram didn't comment back but the truth is he was glad with the respond. He grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open. Yuuri followed close behind him. Here goes nothing…
* * *
The summer breeze is warm as it caressed Wolfram cheek. The prince that is now holding a book in his hand closed his eyes to indulge the sensation. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes just to look at the beautiful sky above him. It was such a nice view. Summer sky is always the best among all.
It had been a year after the hectic marriage and Wolfram cannot help himself from smiling about it. It was not amusing when it happens, but it was amusing when you remember it back. Maybe that's how the mechanics of memory works. It's bittersweet.
That night when they told Gunter about calling off the marriage, the lilac haired advisor almost faint and frantically asked them so many 'why' until they cannot answer it anymore. His mother just gave him an apologetic look which he countered back with a calm smile signing that it is alright. Gwendal is more than mad and had accused Yuuri for the trouble. He remembered himself shouting at Gwendal when the man gripped Yuuri by his collar and almost slammed him to the floor. He knows Gwendal care about him, about his feeling, but that was too much! Conrard in the other hand didn't say anything. However, he would not forget when Conrard suddenly wrapped him into a tight hug when he started shouting too much to calm him down.
That night he do all the talking, all the arguing and all the explaining while Yuuri just stand still and says nothing. Really, what a wimp…
And the other day was more chaotic when the Ten Noble Family came to question their decision. He was glad that this time Yuuri is the one who controlled the situation by saying that both of them is too young and still not ready for a huge commitment.
Its takes two week for the thing to settle but they manage to call the marriage off. After that, Wolfram moved to other room as they didn't bind by anything anymore. Yuuri decided that he didn't want any bind between them so that his feeling toward Wolfram could be more sincere rather than an obligation.
Wolfram smile at the memory as he closed the book in his lap and stretched his tired muscle before leaning on the tree behind him. He close his eyes back.
The break off was sad. To know that their relationship is just a king and his subject really hurt him. But then Yuuri started to show him affection, start to take care of his wellbeing and they start touching and kissing. Yuuri told him that that's what they called dating in his world.
He is startled when a warm kiss settled on his cheek which caused him to open his eyes. Before he could see the person that had kissed him, there was strong arms wrap around his slim waist. He turned beside him to find that the person he's been thinking about is there. He gave a smile while Yuuri offered a peck on his lips.
"What are you doing here, dear? I thought Conrard said you are with your troops?"
"I was, but already finish with them. And I don't feel like training them today…" As he said that, he leaned toward Yuuri and let his head rested on Yuuri's wide chest.
Yuuri smiles. In Shin Makoku every season is represent by the four elements. Summer is the season of fire which the most reason why Wolfram would enjoy it much more than anyone else. While for other season, as been told by Gunter is; spring is the season of earth, autumn is the season of wind and winter is the season of water. Well, Yuuri would think it's more of the season of ice.
"You know, even it was you, I will still be mad if I find out that you are slacking." The statement putted a cute pout on the petal-like lips.
"I'm not! I'm observing them." Wolfram retorted while pointing toward the soldiers that practicing on the training ground.
"I hope you are the one that did the observing, not the other way around." The embrace tightened with each word and an obvious tone of jealousy can be heard. Yuuri now is looking at the soldiers glaring dagger at any of the men who dare to look at Wolfram.
"You are jealous, are you?" The question is answered first with a kiss on top of his head. Yuuri always love the smell on Wolfram's hair.
"Of course I am! You are my Prince Consort. I am far than happy to know that others are looking at you. Especially when the look at you with such lust! So yes! I am jealous!" Yuuri stressed his voice in every word.
Yes! They had remarried. Six months after the break off, Yuuri is proposing him again. This time it's not with a slap.
It was one morning when he woke up and found a ring on his ring finger. When he found out the word 'marry me' at the inner side of the ring, he was far more than happy. He knew it was Yuuri (since Yuuri once told him about how people on earth propose with a ring). With nothing in his mind except to find Yuuri, he ran toward Yuuri's study room and hugged him before kissed him rather shamelessly. Yuuri was puzzled at first but when he said, 'I will' Yuuri quickly understands and kissed him back. Then they realized Gunter is looking at them wide eyed where at the same time blood is running from his nose. That was so embarrassing since they never really kiss in public and the fact that he is still in his nightgown didn't help the situation much.
A month later, they get married again. The wedding was a grand one. It held according to what he and Yuuri dream it to be. The entire demon nation and its allies were there. It was perfect!
"Does it matter? You've already see everything. What's a big deal?" Wolfram asked almost boldly.
"You got a point there. But still, I don't like it when people ogling you. I suppose every living soul in this world should know that you are Wolfram Shibuya-von Bielefeld. So why can't they keep their eyes elsewhere but you?"
"Are you suggesting them to close their eyes when they meet me?" Wolfram asked, raising an eyebrow at his husband.
Yuuri chuckled and kissed the warm cheek again.
"Okay… Maybe I am being overly jealous but still, I don't like you here."
"Then where you want me to be?"
"Hem… Let see… How bout in our room, on the bed and beneath me?" Yuuri smiles. A tinge of blush tainted the fair skin where Yuuri kissed them again as if he could kiss the embarrassment away.
"That night, I was so glad that you asked. If you didn't, we might be in a complicated relationship now. Thank you for giving me time. Thank you for understand me. I promise dear, that I would use my entire life to make up to you.
"You don't' have to. You paid everything when you decide to love me sincerely."
"Our marriage is the best thing ever happened to me. Your love is the best blessing I could ask. And you are the person that I would cherish for the rest of my life." The words held so much emotion as much as the passion on the kiss they shared.
When the kiss end both party smile contently at each other. Yuuri swear he would trade everything for that smile. "Say Dear, what did Gisela said?" Yuuri asked remembering his main reason for searching Wolfram.
The blond give a puzzle look at his husband before it morphed into a smile.
"Brother didn't tell you anything?" He asked. The smile still lingers on his face.
"Conrart?" Yuuri asked back which received a nod. Since Wolfram had made up with his half-human brother, he had grown a habit of calling him 'brother' with Yuuri. Yuuri of course from all people is the happiest person with the change, but somehow it had confused him with Gwendal since Wolfram would also note the stoic faced man as 'brother'. "No. He didn't say anything. He just tells me where to find you."
The answer causes the smile become wider. He's glad that despite of Conrart's lame joke, he knows how to keep surprise. "I have good news for you." The blond said cheekily.
"And it is?" The Maou asked curiously.
"Not until you give me a kiss." As he said that, he taped on his left cheek. Yuuri smiled on the mischief behavior. Wolfram really knows how to be childish when he wants to. Choose not to argue on that (well, he had no problem with that either. What kind of kisses Wolfram want; he can name it, he would be more than glad to fulfill it.) Yuuri planted a kiss on his husband's left cheek.
"And the good news is?"
"Give me another kiss." This time he turned his right cheek to Yuuri.
"Wolfram…" Yuuri whined yet he still did as what the blond required.
"Now I want you…"
"Dear!" And this complain was answered by a chuckled.
"I'm sorry, okay. But that was so much fun!" The Prince teased.
Yuuri looked at his husband and tried his best to muster the most annoyed look he could, yet upon one word 'Please…' and the look of apology in front of him his heart melted. He sighed in defeated. "Apology accepted." When he saw the smile again his heart flutter and he add, "Be glad I love you."
"I'm glad." Was a simple answer. "Back to the news." At the statement, Yuuri's attention brought back to the blond words instead of his antics just now. "Yuuri, you are going to be a father."
"I'm going to be a father? Wait? Are you?" And Yuuri swore he would not want anything anymore when Wolfram nodded. Yuuri immediately pulled his Prince Consort into his embrace before sealing their lips again.
~END~
The clear up!!!
I wonder if you wondering about this or not. But I want to clear something up so that the term 'no more confusion' can come up to you.
Why Wolfram decides to brake off after the marriage? Why not before the wedding?
The answer was simple, he is rather selfish himself. He had waited for so long just for Yuuri to acknowledge him and to get Yuuri into marrying him? How could he say 'no'? He still hesitates, but at the same time want the marriage to happen. That's why, he got so nervous before the marriage and that's also the reason why he feels trouble during the wedding. The talk with Conrart however helps him to make up his mind and he decided to end the wedding if Yuuri didn't want it.
Yuuri had and do show affection toward Wolfram. Does it mean he love him?
Well, Yuuri is at the teenage phase where everything is about experimenting. He is curious. He wants to try, and want to reason thing. Let say, his first kiss with Wolfram is due to his curiosity. And yet, he found out that kissing a boy is not as weird as he thought and showing affection to Wolfram is reasonable since they are fiancés. However, out of that curiosity his feeling is still in constant denial. Try to reason whether what he did is right or wrong. He's fighting with his feeling but at the same time feels untroubled with all the touches and kisses by assuming it's due to him being too use with Wolfram already.
If Yuuri still didn't understand his feeling, why he doesn't oppose the marriage?
This is simple too. Yuuri is a wimp. He is easily convince and as everyone know Cherry is hard to resist! So no matter what it is, he will still follow to Cherry's plan.
a/n: Actually I want to give this story title 'How to let go?' since this is an extended idea of 'How to make love' but I think 'To let go' sound more appealing(to me) than 'How to let go?'
a/n: This story is not Beta-ed yet. I know I'm suck! I'm looking for a Beta reader. PM me if you are interested. =3
~BLANCintrigue~