A/N: To those who read my other stories, this fic is not part of the AU of Fifty and A Half and Domestication (I'm still working on those, I promise). What I tried to do, while we are on the Winter Olympics hiatus, is weave important and not so important pieces of season six (with a few details from season five) into a more or less coherent whole that would explain the end of DUD-dy and maybe the beginning of a real Huddy (i.e., not a delusion like the end of season five). This first, long chapter is the former. And I'll get to the latter. Or not.

I hope House isn't too OOC here, voluntarily telling so much about himself and what he feels. I just know that he seems to have an easier time revealing himself to people who are relative strangers (e.g., the father in Son of Coma Guy, or the rape victim in One Day, One Room) than he does to his friends.

Also, to those of you who like the AU of Fifty and A Half and Domestication, this fic is probably a little bit more harsh than they are. What can I say? Season six has put me in a mood.

Disclaimer: Don't Own, Etc.

Wow, that was boring Cuddy thought to herself as she returned to her office from her Tuesday morning meeting with the nursing staff. As usual, her desk was covered with paperwork. And nothing here to interest me, either.

She put off attacking the pile to take a much-needed break in the bathroom attached to her office. After she was done, she returned to her desk, picked up her pen and started to work. When she lifted the first folder off the stack, she saw something that finally caught her attention. It was a small device with ear buds attached, almost like an I-pod. Maybe someone had been in there when she was at the meeting and accidentally left it?

She knew she should lock her office when she wasn't in it, but since she'd fired her last assistant, she had to leave the door open so people could drop things off when she was out. Her interest quickly changed to frustration as Cuddy realized she'd have to figure out who this thing belonged to.

She picked it up, and looked for something to identify it, which, of course, wasn't there. It was then that she heard sounds coming from the earbuds. She thought if she listened that might give her some clue. She heard people speaking. Of course, it couldn't be a music app. Just her luck, it was owned by some guy who thought Howard Stern was hilarious and she'd have to listen to his adolescent misogyny. She put the earbuds in, anyway.

"Thanks for coming again, today, Miranda. You don't know how this helps me out."

"No problem, Doc. I know chronic pain patients sometimes have periods where they need massages more frequently. Don't ever hesitate to call."

"That feels really good."

"Well, we can't have your neck and shoulders tense, can we?"

"Despite what I tell people, it's really my leg that needs the massage."

"Not just that, Doc. Walking with the cane throws you off-balance. We need work on your upper-body, too."

There was a pause in the conversation. At this point, Cuddy knew she wasn't hearing some satellite radio download. She had a listening device in her ears, and she was hearing what was going on in House's office. She also figured out that the device must belong to Lucas, and that he had bugged House's office. What the hell? Why would he do that? Before she had the chance to process that, the voices started again.

"This bruise looks like it's fading nicely. I'll still try to be careful, okay?"

"Okay."

"It was pretty bad when I first saw it. How did you get it again?"

"I told you, I fell."

"Not what I heard, Doc."

"Oh yeah, I forgot your girlfriend works in security. What exactly did she tell you, anyway?"

"That you were tripped in the cafeteria."

"Don't believe everything you hear, Miranda."

"Nice try, Doc. She saw the tape."

"If she's so into you, why is she watching tapes of a tall, sexy man?"

"It's part of her job. Besides, she just couldn't believe what happened. She also couldn't believe that no one did anything about it."

"Yeah, well, her boss isn't likely to jeopardize his job by reporting on his boss's boyfriend. Certainly not for the likes of me."

"Don't say that, Doc. You deserve better than that. Besides, isn't tripping someone considered assault? Couldn't you file criminal charges?"

"The cops and I aren't exactly on friendly terms."

"I bet you could make a mint on a civil suit, though. Especially since the creep was tripping a handicapped person. What a sleazebag."

There was another pause. Cuddy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had Lucas actually tripped House? In the PPTH cafeteria, no less? Cuddy had seen a cut on House's forehead a couple of weeks ago. Since they were no longer on anything but professional terms, she had decided not to ask him about it. The conversation continued.

"Your boss must be a real bitch. Why would any self-respecting woman date a bully like that? Of course, he is a lot younger than she is, right? Must be one of those pathetic, desperate cougar things."

"Not for me to judge."

"Well, you're a better person than I am. I'm so glad I play for the other team. I don't have to go around looking like some old lady so hard up for sex that she'll sleep with some loser to just to get something. And then let the creep abuse her colleagues just to hang on to him. And then allow her boy-toy to bring it to her workplace. Letting your personal life spill over into your work like that is completely unprofessional, especially for a person at her level. They should have fired her on the spot."

"She just got them 12% on an insurance contract when the insurance company started at 4%. Don't think she's going to get fired anytime soon."

"I wonder if she slept with someone in the insurance company to get that deal."

"I doubt it."

"How can you be so sure? If she'll spread her legs for a creep like her boyfriend, she obviously has no standards. Why wouldn't she let an insurance executive bang her to get what she wants? According to Sondra, that's the rumor flying around the hospital now."

"I know, I've heard that, too. But I've known her for a long time, and that's just not something she would do."

"Whatever you say, Doc."

Another pause. Cuddy was beside herself. After all her hard work and negotiating skill, this was what was going all around the hospital?!? At least that explained why the last board meeting had gone so badly. She thought the board would be singing her praises, and they had barely acknowledged what she accomplished. No wonder.

"How's your leg today?"

"It's been worse."

"I know you pretty well by now, Doc. That means it's bad. I don't know how you deal with that every day with no pain meds."

"I have analgesics, such as they are. I don't really have any choice."

"That's so sad, Doc."

"It's an existence."

"And then you get to deal with your bitch of a boss and her psycho boyfriend on top of it. That's just not fair."

"Life isn't fair."

"Tell me about it. Why are they so pissed at you, anyway?"

"Well, I'm not exactly a model employee."

"Well, that's explains why the bitch might be annoyed at you. What about the creepy boyfriend?"

"No idea."

"It's one thing to be loyal to a significant other. It's quite another to go off on psychotic binges for them."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Why do you keep defending these people?"

"Well, I used to think of Lucas as sort of a friend. At least he acted kind of like one last year."

"Well, decent people, let alone friends, don't assault and publicly humiliate cripples, if you'll pardon the expression."

"I guess."

"And what's the deal with your boss, anyway? Why haven't you at least threatened to sue her?"

"Well, she used to be a friend, too."

"None I'd ever want, believe me. Say what you will about lesbians, but we don't dump our friends just because we get into a relationship."

Another break in the conversation occurred. Cuddy had gone from outraged to upset. Had House actually thought of Lucas as a friend at one point? That must have been when Wilson was gone. Cuddy always assumed House had been lonely without Wilson, but did he actually reach out to another human being? And had Lucas exploited that fact? And she "used to" be his friend? God, that really hurt. Not only because she felt the loss, but also because she knew it caused House pain, too.

"You know, you cut her a lot of slack, if you ask me."

"She used to do that with me."

"Well, loyalty's great and all that, but, after a while, you have to look out for number one, you know what I mean."

"Okay."

"You know, Doc, I'm getting the sense here that it's more than just being a loyal former friend . . . Oh my God, you like her don't you?"

"Who doesn't like their friends?"

"That's not what I mean and you know it. You're not looking at me, Doc. Holy shit, you don't just like this woman, you love her! My God, I always thought you were smart, but you're an idiot."

"That's me, member in good standing, Morons 'R Us."

"You do love her, you stupid jerk!"

"Yeah, I do. Always have. Fat lot of good it does me now."

"Oh, Doc, I'm so sorry."

They both were quiet. Cuddy sat there in total shock, mouth agape. A tiny part of her rational mind realized that sitting in her glass-walled office looking like nothing so much as a ravenous fish was probably not a good idea. It kept telling her to shut her pie hole, but her muscles didn't seem to want to follow the commands. And her eyes were having even more trouble following her higher brain because they had started to tear copiously. House, after all these years, had finally admitted he loved her. To a relative stranger. And a lesbian massage therapist, no less. Son of a bitch.

"We're about finished up here, Doc."

"Thanks again for the massage, Miranda. . . and . . . for everything else. Oh, and thank Sondra for having my back."

"No problem, Doc. I wish she could do more. Same time tomorrow?"

"That would be great. See you then."

"See you. I'll let you get dressed and I'll come back in and pack up my stuff."

Cuddy heard the door open and close, and then noise in the room. She assumed House was getting dressed. She pulled the earbuds out of her ears. Cuddy just didn't know how to deal with any of this. Lucas was bugging House's office, and tripping him on purpose? People thought she had slept with someone at the insurance company because she had such a creepy boyfriend? House loved her? It was just too much to process, especially since she had another meeting in fifteen minutes.

As she collected her files for the meeting, she realized it wouldn't be a good idea to leave a listening device on the top of her desk. She put it in the drawer and locked it. She really should return it to Lucas, but she wasn't sure how to do that. Would she be forced to confront him about bugging House's office? The only way she would know that was if she had eavesdropped herself.

And what about Lucas tripping House? Again, not something she could really go after Lucas about since he knew about the trip wire she had used on House last year. Damn, why had she shared all this stuff with him? Because she thought he was a good guy and wouldn't use it against her. Maybe that was still the case. Maybe he had just left that thing there by mistake, just like he had switched his phone with the nanny's. Part of Cuddy's brain was telling her all of that was extremely wishful thinking, but she pushed that aside for now. Time for The Professional Woman Façade. She left for her meeting.

The rest of the day went without incident. She was actually relieved that she didn't have to deal with Lucas that night because he was on another stakeout. She didn't see him until the next morning when she was headed out the door. He tried to convince her to go for another quickie, but she begged off. She told him she didn't want to spend another morning frustrated, but that was only part of the truth. She was also beginning to have some nagging doubts about him and the relationship. Again, it was pushed aside as she left for work.

It was Wednesday and Cuddy found herself in her office at the same time as she had the previous morning. She knew she should just do her paperwork, but her curiosity got the better of her and she found herself pulling the listening device out of her desk and putting the earbuds in.

"How are you doing today, Doc?"

"Fine."

"Well, I know that's not true or you would have called me and told me not to come."

"No, really, it's okay."

"Whatever you say. Hey, I have a question. Would you ever consider coming over to my place for a massage?"

"Why, Miranda, is that a proposition?"

"Not from a girl that doesn't swing that way. No, it's just that my portable table is smaller than the one I have at home and you're so tall your feet hang off of this one. If they didn't, I could wrap them in the sheet and they wouldn't be so cold."

"They're not cold."

"No, they just feel like ice when I massage them."

"It doesn't bother me, really. Or is it an issue for you? Are you ogling my perfect feet while you massage me? Do you have a secret foot fetish, Miranda?"

"Heh. No. I've got a lot of problems, Doc, but that isn't one of them."

"What problems?"

"You don't want to hear about all that mess."

"You know me well enough by now to know that I don't make empty expressions of concern and I don't ask questions unless I want to know the answers. Come on, spill it."

"It's kind of painful to talk about."

"More painful than admitting my doomed, unrequited love for my boss, like I did last time?"

"Probably not. Okay, here goes. My dad left when I was two. I don't remember him. My mom divorced him and married my stepfather, Steve, about five years later. Things were actually okay for a while. But once I turned eleven, I got my first period and I started to grow boobs. Not much more than mosquito bites, mind you, but I had them. Apparently, this was a major turn-on for Steve, the sick bastard. He began to come into my room at night. It started with him touching me and his forcing me to touch him. Over time, he made me give him blow jobs, and by the time I was fourteen, he was raping me. My mom finally figured out what was going on when I got pregnant at sixteen. She sent me away to have the baby at my grandparents', and she divorced the S.O.B. At least she was smart enough to get a nice settlement. It paid for college."

"What happened to the baby?"

"He was eight pounds, two ounces, with brown hair and brown eyes, and I never saw him again after I held him when he was born. I'm sure he's happy with some middle class couple in suburbia somewhere."

"You don't keep in contact with him?"

"I think it would be better for his self-esteem if he didn't know he was the product of incest."

"He'll find out eventually. You can't hide stuff like that from kids."

"Well, his adoptive parents can deal with it, if it comes up."

"It'll come up."

"How can you be so sure?"

"He'll figure it out. I know I did."

"You're the product of incest, Doc?"

"No, but the guy who raised me wasn't my biological father."

"What?"

"My dad was in the military and he was away when I was conceived. I'm pretty sure it was a friend of the family, but I don't know the exact circumstances. It's not like my mom wants to share."

"How can you be sure, then?"

"When my dad died, I went to the funeral and I took a sample and tested the DNA. It didn't match."

"Pretty slick, Doc."

"I'm not so sure about that. I thought it would help me to know, but it didn't really. It did explain why my dad treated me like shit, though."

"What did he do?"

"A lot of verbal abuse. He made me sleep outside. He gave me ice baths."

"Ouch. No wonder you don't notice that your feet get cold."

There was a pause. More startling revelations. Cuddy felt badly about what had happened to this woman. It reminded her a little of Natalie and Rachel -- the teen parent part, anyway. At least Cuddy wouldn't need to explain incest to her daughter. And even though Cuddy wouldn't wish what happened to the massage therapist on her worse enemy, she didn't know her, so it was more of a kind of generic sympathy.

She was much more focused on what happened to House. His father wasn't his biological father? And he had been abused? Knowing House, Cuddy was sure he was downplaying it. He had probably suffered a lot worse treatment than he was willing to admit. Poor House. No, he would hate that.

"Time to turn over, Doc. Oops. Lost the sheet there. Let me cover you back up"

"Sorry. Does it bother you that I'm not wearing underwear?"

"It doesn't upset me or anything. Just don't expect me to get excited over your stuff."

"That's understandable."

"It's actually such a cliché. Sexually abused girl becomes lesbian because of childhood trauma. Kind of pathetic, really."

"I told you it's understandable. Hey, at least you can form a relationship with someone. I'm so screwed up, I can't even do that."

"I bet you could. I think you're just barking up the wrong tree."

"I very well might be. But it's not going to change. I'm not going to stop loving her."

"Well, after the shitty way she's treated you, if you still love her, I guess it isn't going to change. She doesn't deserve you."

"It's hardly been a one-way street. She's helped me a lot."

"Really?"

"She hired me when no one else would. I can't go into all the details, but she helped me with some legal problems that put her in jeopardy. She stayed with me when I was injured after a bus accident and a seizure."

"That's sounds like a good friend. I take it all this caring was in the past. What happened to change things?"

"Damned if I know. I know I said some things to her when I was hallucinating and delusional that were offensive and embarrassing. She'd have every right to get pissed at me for that."

"Until she realized you weren't in your right mind. A person with even basic decency wouldn't blame someone for that."

"Then I guess I don't know why she hates me."

Cuddy was crying again. She wanted to shout that she didn't hate House. She, she . . . well, she felt something. Friendship. Affection. More? She had thought she was in love with him at Michigan, but she was so young then. And so much had happened since. Was she even capable of loving him? And even if she was capable, would she want to? And why was she even thinking about this? She was with Lucas now. She was so confused.

"We're done, Doc."

"Thanks again, Miranda."

"You keep calling, and paying, I'll keep coming."

"You have no idea how many women have told me the exact same thing."

"Uh, huh. I'm going to wash up in the bathroom and I'll be back to get my stuff."

Cuddy could hear noises again, and assumed House had gotten up from the table and was getting dressed. She pulled the buds out of her ears and locked the device in her desk as she left for her next meeting.

Cuddy was even more confused and conflicted after listening in that day. Again, she was relieved that Lucas was still on that same stakeout that night. He called her as she was leaving for the hospital on Thursday, letting her know he wouldn't be over that morning, that evening or the next morning. He said he was going to see her at lunch on Friday, no matter what. Cuddy should have felt disappointed at not seeing him, but she didn't. She hoped having a little more time would help her sort through her feelings.

Cuddy was so busy in meetings all day Thursday that she wasn't in her office for more than fifteen minutes at a stretch. So, she didn't know if House got a massage that day, and she wasn't able to listen in to the conversation if he did. It was odd, but she found she kind of missed it. He never opened up to her, and it had been good for her to find out about him, his life, and how he felt. The problem was that she could never acknowledge what she knew, given the way she learned it. Even more strangely, she found herself resenting Lucas because of it.

Ever since Cuddy returned to work after she had brought home Rachel, she made it a practice not to schedule meetings on Friday for anything other than emergencies. It gave her a chance to get caught up on paperwork (such as she ever got close to being caught up), so she could have some of time on the weekends to be with her daughter without work always looming over her shoulder.

When she first started dating Lucas, it had been great because it had given her the opportunity to be with both of them. It was this bonding time that had made them get closer, to the point of considering buying a loft and moving in together. Given how things had been going lately, she was more than a little relieved that things with the condo had fallen through. She thought that this was probably just a bump in the road, so to speak, and that she would probably still want that eventually, but she certainly needed more time to think about things. At least that's what she hoped.

Cuddy had arrived at work early and spent a few hours on paperwork. She went to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee and returned to her desk. She noticed the time and she guiltily reached for the listening device. She put the earbuds in.

"I'm going away for the weekend, Doc. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I actually don't feel too crappy right now. Your sessions this week have really helped me. Going anyplace interesting?"

"We're driving down to North Carolina. Sondra's parents live down there. It should be a little warmer than New Jersey, anyway. Where do you like to travel, Doc?"

"I don't go many places. Cripples can't sightsee for very long, and hiking in the mountains or walking on the beach is out, too."

"You could just get away for a change of scenery."

"I can't be in a car for more than an hour or two without pain, and plane travel is a major hassle, with my cane and security, not to mention those cramped seats. Too little payoff for too much work. I'll go to a medical conference, occasionally."

"When was the last one of those you went to?"

"There was one in the Adirondacks last fall."

"That sounds nice."

"The hotel had big rooms with balconies, and there was a lake with a lot of trees turning color."

"It sounds better than nice. It sounds great."

"It was okay."

"I'm guessing something didn't go so well?"

"You know, Miranda, you're more perceptive than nine tenths of the shrinks I've ever encountered."

"Thanks. I'm just nosy. So, what happened?"

"Wilson was being an idiot. He decided he was going to give a talk about medically assisted suicide that would have tanked his career."

"Would have?"

"Yeah. I decided to go to the conference at the last minute, so I wasn't registered. I signed in as another doctor who didn't show up. I gave Wilson's speech as that doctor."

"Doctor Wilson agreed to that?"

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I had to stop him from destroying his career. I drugged him and took his pants. By the time he woke up and found something to wear, I was finished."

"You're something else, you know that?"

"Why, is that a compliment, Miranda?"

"You sound pretty happy that you did that, Doc. Or at least a little smug."

"It was an accomplishment."

"Then why was the conference only okay?"

"I don't want to get into it."

"Come on, Doc. I told you I was repeatedly raped and impregnated by my stepfather. How bad could it possibly be?"

"Fair enough. Cuddy went to the conference and brought her daughter with her. Wilson said it would mean a lot to Cuddy if I offered to baby-sit. I went to the room and found Lucas was there. He had gone to the conference with Cuddy and her kid."

"Not your favorite person, I know, but he was her boyfriend, so not completely surprising . . . wait, it was a surprise, wasn't it?"

"She hadn't told Wilson or me she was dating Lucas. I felt like a total idiot. Wilson felt pretty stupid, too."

"You mean she hid the relationship from the two of you?"

"Yeah."

"Why? I don't understand. Aren't the three of you supposed to be friends? Why would she lie like that?"

"I don't know. I just know it hurt."

"Something else hurt, didn't it, Doc?"

"Wilson and I met them for breakfast on the last day of the conference. Lucas mocked me about a delusion I had about Cuddy."

"What an asshole. Wait, how did he know about your delusion? Oh my God, that bitch told him, didn't she?"

"Yeah."

"Doesn't that completely violate HIPPA?"

"She wasn't my doctor, so, technically, no."

"Well, she's your boss, so isn't that a significant breech of confidentiality rules?"

"Maybe . . . "

"And what a brutal personal betrayal of a so-called friend. And you still love her?"

"I told you I was a charter member of The Moron Association."

As House and the therapist fell silent, Cuddy felt her cheeks flush with shame. Even when she told Lucas about the content of the delusion, she had a nagging thought that she shouldn't do it. But she and Lucas were in that first, intense phase of the relationship, and she wanted to share everything with him.

She had been mortified at the conference when Lucas said it, but she forgave him because she thought he was completely honest and he sometimes didn't have a filter between his brain and his mouth. At the time, she believed it was an unfortunate result of one his more endearing qualities.

Now that she analyzed the incident several months later, and had seen it through the perspective of House and this mostly impartial observer, she realized it was not as innocent as it had once seemed to her. Lucas had been trying to smack down House, and he wasn't above using the most personal, humiliating information to do it.

Another thought pushed its way into Cuddy's consciousness. Hadn't House just said that traveling wasn't enjoyable for him because more than a couple of hours in the car gave him serious leg pain? And she, doing what she thought she needed to do to "protect" her Thanksgiving holiday, and Lucas, as a "joke," had sent him three hours away and three hours back for a turkey sandwich. And here he was without even effective pain meds to help him. What the hell had he been she thinking? I'm so, so sorry, House, she thought.

"Your leg is a lot less knotted than it was at the beginning of the week."

"Thanks to you."

"You're very welcome. So, what are your plans for the weekend?"

"Nothing much. I just have to mock Wilson as he cleans the loft."

"Doctor Wilson does strike me as a bit of a clean freak."

"I keep forgetting you know Wilson."

"He was the one who gave you my name."

"Yeah. So how did you meet him, anyway?"

"Apparently, he locked himself out of his office and he needed to get back in. There was a new janitor who didn't know him and refused open the door for him unless he got approval from security. Sondra came up and gave the janitor the okay. Doctor Wilson wanted to thank her, so he asked her out for coffee. Well, Sondra knew his reputation with women and she didn't want him to get the wrong impression, so she asked me to come along. He was a little surprised at first, but he recovered quickly. When he found out I was a massage therapist, he told me about you and your pain. I told him I could help you."

"And you most certainly have, Miranda."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. I may even answer it."

"Why are two middle-aged guys, who aren't a couple, who aren't even gay, living together?"

"When I got out of Mayfield, my shrink told me I shouldn't be by myself. Since he's my only friend, he kind of got drafted to be my roommate. At least until he decides to toss me out."

"Why would he do that?"

"I piss off everyone eventually. That's why I'll wind up alone."

"Don't say that! You're a great guy! If I swung that way, I wouldn't mind hooking up with you."

"How little you know me. I'm a prick and a misanthropic bastard. Ask anyone who ever got close to me. I drive them away and make them miserable."

"Oh, please. Spare me the 'I have no real friends' routine. Listen, if you ever need a couple of friends, you just call Sondra and me. We'll hang out with you."

"Would I get to watch?"

"You're too much, Doc. I'm finished. Do you think you'll be okay for the weekend, or do you want me to give you the name of another massage therapist?"

"No one can replace you, Miranda."

"Yes or no?"

"I'll be fine."

"I'll call you when I get back and we'll set up a schedule."

"Okay."

Cuddy heard the now-familiar sound of House getting up and getting dressed. She had heard House say he believed he'd end up alone. How sad. She was about to pull the earbuds out when she looked up and saw Lucas standing in front of her desk. Oh, shit, she thought.

Lucas was dressed in some very shabby clothes. Was this part of his stakeout?

"Lisa, you really need to train your clinic staff better. I've been sitting out there for four days now, dressed like this. No one even noticed me."

"I take it you weren't there testing the efficiency and compassion of my staff."

"You know, it always seemed weird to me that a hospital would have so many glass walls and doors, what with privacy concerns and all."

"You've been watching me? What gives you the right to do that?"

"What gives you the right to listen in on House? Although I have to say there was some pretty good stuff there. Nice and personal. Not to mention humiliating."

"Why do you even have a bug in his office? Why are you so fixated on him?"

"Why are you, Lisa?"

"I'm not."

"No, you only listened to, what, three hours of his intimate conversations and sat here reacting emotionally."

"I was not emotional!"

"Looking so surprised you couldn't even close your mouth, blushing with guilt and shame, crying. I guess most people would call that emotional."

"You bugged House's office and left this device on my desk on purpose. You set me up. Why?"

"Because I suspected you hadn't gotten over him. Because I needed to know that was true. Because I was tired of House being in the middle of our relationship. Because we spent so much time focusing on what House would do, how he would react, what we needed to do to keep him away that we weren't doing anything for us. Because you kept denying your feelings for him and I wanted to show you that you were full of shit."

"What am I supposed to say here?"

" 'Goodbye' works."

"What?"

"I thought we had a good thing, Lisa. I was so excited when we were going to buy that loft together. When we didn't, I was really disappointed. I was surprised you weren't."

"I told you there would be other places."

"Except there weren't. You gave up looking. That loft symbolized our new life together. When you stopped looking, I knew you weren't interested."

"That's an awful lot to be hanging on a condo purchase, don't you think?"

"That's why I wanted to confirm it. That's why I left this here. I needed to know if House would always be in our way. And now I know he will."

"Lucas, it doesn't have to be this way. We could try to start over."

"Forget it. When we started to get serious, I put together a resume and sent it to a bunch of security companies. I thought I would be a better partner to you, and better for Rachel, if I had a steady job with regular pay and regular hours. I got an offer from a company in California. I wasn't on a stakeout the last three nights. I was packing up my stuff. I'll go by your place this afternoon and get the rest. My flight to L.A. leaves tomorrow at seven a.m. Oh, and I'll be taking this back now."

Lucas grabbed the listening device from Cuddy, turned, marched out the door and left the hospital. Cuddy was completely stunned. She sat there for a few moments simply trying to process what had just happened in her office. What had been happening all week. Hell, what had been happening for the last six months.

She knew it would take her a while to deal with the emotions. She snapped into administrator mode. House's office was still bugged, and now Lucas had the means to listen in on him. Her first thought was to run up to his office and warn him, but then she would have to admit to House what Lucas had done, and how she knew, so she have to admit what she had done, too.

Still, she couldn't leave the bugs in there. If nothing else, there would be tremendous liability if House and his team were discussing a patient and Lucas overheard. Just knowing there was a means for an unauthorized person to hear confidential patient information was a problem. Cuddy decided she could handle this at arms length. She called her chief of security and told him she had received a call from an anonymous source that there were some illegal listening devices in House's office. He started to question her, and she shut him down by telling him to take care of it and that she would talk to him about the circumstances later.

Now that the administrative stuff was taken care of, at least for the time being, Cuddy tried to re-focus on her paperwork, but she couldn't. Her boyfriend of nine months had just left her. She should be distraught about that, but she wasn't. Maybe she found out too many things about Lucas not to be relieved that he was out of her and her daughter's lives. She had also found that the relationship was not all what she thought it was, and that was due at least as much to her as it was to Lucas, if she were at all honest with herself. Messy, but she could go on living.

What she was really upset about was what had happened with House. He had apparently come back from Mayfield, at least clean and sober, if not actually a better person, and she had spent most of her time putting him down, pushing him away and letting her boyfriend abuse him. No wonder their friendship was in such bad shape.

And now that she knew he loved her, and that he had admitted it to himself, should she even try to fix anything? Would it be more cruel to try to go back to the way things were between them before Mayfield, knowing he would probably want more, if she couldn't give that to him?

She had been so happy when she and Lucas first got together. She admired his intelligence, his ability to read people, and his musical talent. She loved his honesty, even if it was a little hard to take at times. There were also his toned body, his blue eyes and his scruffy beard. It finally dawned on Cuddy that House was all those things, too. But if that was the case, then why had she had been so eager to be with Lucas, to the point of ignoring some seriously troubling behavior, and now she was reluctant to consider anything with House, who, despite all his problems, she knew she could trust with her life?

The only conclusion she could draw was that she was attracted to Lucas because what she saw (reality be dammed) was House Without The Baggage. She had wanted that little fantasy so much that she was willing to jeopardize her closest friendships and even her professional life. She also knew why it didn't work. House Without The Baggage simply wasn't House. It was a package deal. What had he told her after he decided to stop using the methadone last year? This is the only me you get.

So, it all boiled down to one question. Did she want House, with all the baggage, or didn't she? She would have to decide that once and for all -- for her sake, for Rachel's sake and for House's sake. She had some serious thinking to do.