Disclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to JK Rowling.

Warning: m/m relationship, ridiculous theories, eccentricity, shallow behaviour

AN: I have been reading way too much crack fics lately, and this is the result. Obviously this is crack too. I apologize for any mistakes in grammar or transition, I just wrote this to blow off some steam, and didn't have the time to look over it.

Kindly shut off your brain while reading this.

Really, Draco thought early one morning when the sun had yet to rise, and he was uncharacteristically awake, it was a miracle that Harry was rather short and small for a man his age. Okay, so he was shorter than all the men he had dated, who were admittedly rather tall. But he preferred his men tall, dammit.

Although, it seemed that the taller they got, the more their equipments lacked. Never let it be said again that Malfoys are shallow, because testing on this pet theory of his, he had magnanimously decided to give Potter a chance, despite him being shorter than Draco. And it came as no surprise to Draco when Harry had more than made up for his stature through his girth and length.

If he had drooled when he first laid his eyes on Harry's very impressive erection, he wasn't to be blamed. It wasn't often that one came across a cock that could easily reach nine inches, oh Merlin, and more, chimed his inner tape measure who sounded suspiciously like his father.

Risking the development of laryngitis, he had swallowed it whole the first time they had gotten together. And had then let It fuck him, until he could have sworn that Harry had rammed into his intestines.

So laying in bed, with Harry's wonderfully large morning wood snug against his perpetually sore arse, he had to silently thank the Dursleys, because they had inadvertently set the height to length ratio in Draco's favour.

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