Title: Cover Your Face and Let's Pretend
Author: Emono
Rating: FR-13
Fandom: Wrestling
Pairings: Ted/Cody, Randy/Cena, Matt/Jericho, Miz/Swagger
Summary: It's a modern day version of "Alice in Wonderland." Walk with Ted as he tries to fight against everyone's two biggest fears: Growing up and being alone. It's a slashy/whimsical/slightly dark twist to everyone's favorite messed-up fairytale.
Disclaimer: The WWE is not mine nor are any of it's child branches, it is the 96% property of the McMahon's and God bless the bastards that work for them. I respect the sexual preferences and identities of all the wrestlers on WWE roster, and who they share a bed with is really none of my business. I don't own the story of Alice in Wonderland, despite the form, it's all Lewis Carroll. Though I don't think he envisioned it being used like this.
Warnings: AU, fantasy, drug use, fluff, confusion, craziness, language, slightly dark shades

AN: So this story was inspired by one thing: My baby sister running into my room and suggesting that I combine Alice in Wonderland with the WWE. At first I thought it was stupid so I laughed, then I said, "Let's make a cast list!" So I have to give her some credit for this (though she's just 11), and let her read it first. Yes, she likes slash, I've converted her from a young age.

The title is subject to change, if you can think of a better one, tell me!

Ted was a strange kid. Not really a kid, per se, but a teenager blooming into an adult. He was at the tender age of seventeen, old enough to start making his own decision but not old enough to stretch his wings. He couldn't move out, he was still stuck in high school, and he was still bound under his parents authority.

Tonight, for instance, his parents were making him attend some grand fundraiser. Ugh, he hated them. It always went the same way: He'd show up, not drink, not eat, feel awkward for hours in a tux, and his parents would parade him around like a show poodle talking 'this college' and 'that college' all while trying to make their associates jealous of a such a 'successful' son.

Pure and utter bullshit.

But that wasn't for hours. Right now…these were the times he treasured. Stretched out on his belly in the grass of his backyard, cradling a book in his palm, clad in old torn up jeans and his tattered Southern Boys t-shirt. The cool breeze of the summer day hitched up, ruffling his hair and tickling the bottom of his feet. His lips curled up in a soft smile, a sigh escaping his lips as he savored the feeling. He wasn't even reading anymore, he was just avoiding life.

High school was going to end, it was about time for him to go into the real world. A world full of taxes, lies, hard work, and probably loneliness. He didn't want to face it alone, he wished he had someone to face it with him.

//But where will you find a cute boy in Mississippi willing to come out of the closet?// Ted wondered absently, shaking his head at the absurdity //It's just me.//

"Ted!"

Ted groaned, dropping his head into the crook of his arm and burying his face there.

//If I play dead, he'll go away.//

"Ted, damn it" he listened as his cousin approached, his tall shadow falling over him "Get up, you lazy thing."

"I don't wanna" Ted drawled, peering up at the ravenette.

Phil scoffed at his cousin, "Get out of the dirt. You look like a drugged out street rat."

"How many times do I have to tell ya?" Ted rolled over onto his back, glaring at his cousin "I'm not on drugs."

"Then stop acting like it" Phil snapped his gum loudly, that Straightedge superiority rolling off him in waves "Uncle Ted said to get you up and into a hot shower. You've only got a few hours to get ready before the fundraiser, and your family is expecting you to look your best."

Ted laid his forearm across his eyes, "I don't wanna go, Phil."

The tattooed man raised a brow, "Does it look like I care?"

Ted heaved a sigh, "Not…really."

"You'd be right."

Ted tossed his book aside, getting to his feet and glaring at the other, "What happens if I don't go, huh? Ya gonna box my ears? Is Daddy gonna smack me?"

"Don't push your luck, Teddy" Phil narrowed his eyes at the smaller man "You've got it so damn good here and you don't even realize it. You've got this rich, normal life and you're just throwing away all your opportunities! You don't know who you could meet there! You could make connections, form relationships you'll be using for the rest of your life!"

"Bullshit" Ted spat out "Maybe I don't wanna grow up, huh? Maybe I'm freaked out that I'm by myself?!"

"Wah-wah, keep crying emo boy" Phil scoffed "Look at me, the sad little rich boy who doesn't want to grow up. Who do you think you are? Peter Pan?"

Ted huffed, resisting the urge to stomp his foot like a child. He glanced at his house, the mansion looming over the yard like a titan. He winced, taking a step back. He turned, looking toward the woods. They were beautiful, crisp green in the summer sun and inviting. The wind picked up, rustling the leaves, a near-musical symphony echoing over the grounds.

Phil sensed the change in his cousin, "Ted, get in the house."

Ted snarled at the ravenette, "…no."

Ted made a mad dash across the grass, leaving his cousin screaming after him.

"Ted! Ted, get back here!"

~*~*~*~

Ted broke into the tree line, wincing as his feet met the debris of the forest but refused to stop. He could hear Phil shouting, but it got fainter as he pushed his way into the density of the woods. He dodged around the trees, grinning madly as he leaped and bounded toward a destination he wasn't sure of.

Pretty soon, Phil's voice was silent.

Ted finally stumbled to a stop, bending over at the waist and bracing his hands on his knees. He was panting thickly, feet aching and lungs raw. He smiled a bit, glad to be rid of his overbearing cousin. His whole family…it felt good to leave them behind. He happened to glance up, double-taking as he spotted a clearing. There was only one thing in the middle of it, a feathery willow tree with branches that brushed the ground. It was beautiful, a dark green laced with small white flowers.

Ted had never seen anything like it, and he briefly wondered if he was even on his property anymore. He glanced back into the woods, the way to his house looking infinite. It wouldn't be too bad if he just stayed here…hid out until nightfall. When his parents were gone, he'd sneak back into the house and lounge around. It would be a waiting period for his punishment, but it would be worth it if he didn't have to act like a show dog for hours.

Once he'd caught his breath, he stepped into the clearing. He kept on, brushing apart the willow branches until he found the very core of the tree. It was darker here, streams of sunlight barely eating through the leaves. He plopped down on the soft ground with a sigh, the grass cool against his bare feet. He eased his back against the tree, closing his eyes in relief at the feeling of peace that took over him.

The wind rustled the long, flowy branches…the symphony came back.

Ted started humming, slowly drifting off…thinking of nothing…

I'm basing this story on the original "Through The Looking Glass" and "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland" book I have by Lewis Carroll. Also, it's largely based on the Alice in Wonderland movie done by Hallmark Entertainment. Go out and rent it, I think it's the best version and the most visually stunning movie. It has people like Whoopi Goldberg, Miranda Richardson, Martin Short, and that girl from Napoleon Dynamite. It's so good! Go find it on Amazon, it's worth more than the five bucks I spent on it.